Psalm 22 - Lament
Transcript
Good morning. So we timed it well because some of you stayed up late and watched the fight. And we cut the air conditioning off. So, yeah, you guys will be awake the whole time. We're going to be in Psalm 22, which is page 260 in the White Bible. If you do not have a Bible, please take that home.
That is our gift to you. And, yeah, so my name is Spencer Carey. I am a not a church planning resident. I am a pastor in training here with Mill City, which is fun to say. You can celebrate that. We are excited.
I did not see this coming, but God has made it clear like we are better together. So to celebrate that, we're going to preach. We're going to go through a Psalm on sadness. We're going to be in Psalm of Lament. And so as a culture and even really as a church, like we're really bad at lamenting. Lamenting is mourning.
It's grieving. It's being sad over something. And we're bad at it. In college, my freshman year, I had a family member unexpectedly die. And I was in my dorm room, and it caught me off guard, and I was crying. And my suite mate, who's in the room next to us, heard me.
And he came over, and he said, what's wrong? And I explained what happened. And he went, ah. And I'm a hugger. Like I'm not on a scale of like Chet to Matt, like where Chet doesn't like physical touch, and Matt hugs everyone. Like I'm somewhere in the healthy middle.
But we weren't like that. We weren't that close to suite mates yet. And he kind of came in. He goes, oh, with the most awkward hug. Slowly kind of came around, and then just kind of did this thing. And then said, I'm so sorry.
And then he backed away, and he walked out. And I just was like, what in the world just happened? I was completely caught off guard. It's just because sometimes we don't know how to respond to someone who's grieving. I've also been someone who's been bad at helping someone grieve. A couple years ago in Louisville, we worked for an apartment complex ministry.
We spent time with the residents. We got to know this one family. It's this mother and father and their son. Their son was a high school football star. He went on to be a quarterback and now a wide receiver at University of Louisville. And his freshman year, the father, who actually I've gotten to know fairly well, suddenly passed away.
And so a couple months later, I just wanted to check in on the mother, and I walked over to her apartment. I did not call or text or give her a heads up. And I knocked on the door. And she opened, and she was a little confused while I was there. And I just said, how are you doing? She said, good.
Can I help you? And I was like, the church is supposed to help the widows. It just came out. And it was not comforting at all. And she very sweetly just gave me a hug and said, thank you, and shut the door. Because, I mean, we just want to fill that gap of silence sometimes, and we don't have the best things to say.
Sometimes you hear, like, empty platitudes, these sayings that don't really have a whole lot of helpful meaning. Some people will say, we know when someone dies, they'll say, you know, God, he needed another angel. And it's like, no, that's not how that works. Like, we're humans, and his other creation is angels. Like, we don't convert to being an angel. That's not how that works.
And I really miss them. Like, that's not helpful. Some people will say, not necessarily with death, but also just with the loss of a job or just tough times. People will say, you know, God will never give you any more than you can handle. And I'm like, no, it certainly feels like it's more than I can handle. And you got that from 1 Corinthians 10, 13, which is about temptation.
It's not about actually trials. Like, those are two separate things. That doesn't help me. Some people will say, everything happens for a reason. And it's like, yeah, okay. It still does not comfort me in this moment.
The other thing I see more and more, and it comes from a really good place, is that when someone dies, let's not do a funeral. Let's have a party. And I get that. I get the understanding behind that. The understanding is, is that, especially if they're a Christian, like we're celebrating, they're in the presence of Jesus. They're in a much better place.
We should celebrate that. And I understand that. And I hear that heart. But that's not how human emotions are supposed to work. That's not how we're designed to work. And that's not how Jesus responds to loss.
When you look at Lazarus, his friend. When Lazarus dies, Jesus hears about it. He is coming. Lazarus has been dead for days. He knows what he's getting ready to do. Like, he knows he's going to show his power.
He's going to raise Lazarus from the grave. So he knows how this is ending. And he shows up to the gravesite. And Mary and Martha are there, and they're crying. And what does it say? The shortest verse in the Bible.
That Jesus wept. Like, he weeps with those who weep. There's the process of grieving and being sad is important for our souls. So we're bad at lamenting alone, too. Like, some of us, our go-to is, like, we'll run to alcohol. We'll run to Valium.
Anything we can do to numb the pain. Others of us will bury grief. It's like, I just ignore it and bury it. And we know that that never works. Some of us binge on food or Netflix or video games. Whatever we can do to escape our present reality.
And our culture, largely, it avoids sadness at all costs. Like, avoid sadness and hoard happiness. That's kind of how our culture is. We don't want that kind of sadness if someone's grieving. If someone has lost a job, we get really uncomfortable. We want to hear about all the details.
If we have friends who are in a long depression, like, we want to stay away from that. If we have friends on Facebook who kind of go on Facebook and are repeatedly posting sad things, what do we do? Hide the post. Unfriend them. It's kind of our go-to. I think the makers of the movie Inside Out realized that adults are terrible at this.
That we don't have a category for sadness. So they had to make a movie to show that there's a place for that. If you haven't seen the movie, one of the whole points of the movie is that there's this little girl. And she's got the different emotions in her head. Different feelings in her head. And they tell sadness, you stay over here.
You stay in the circle. You don't move. And by the end of the movie, they realize there's actually a real place for sadness. And as a culture, we censor death. We censor loss. And when we do that, we hurt ourselves.
Because the reality is that death and loss, we live in a fallen world. That is going to come. And if we don't know how to process it well, the sting of that loss, the sting of that death will linger. And our souls. And it will do real damage to our relationship with God. It will do damage to our relationship with others.
So we, as a church, have to grow in being better mourners and being better lamenters. So we are in Psalm 22 this morning. And in this Psalm, I want us to grow in two areas. On how to individually, healthily lament before God. And how to lament with one another as the church. That's how we want to grow as we walk through Psalm 22.
So I'm going to pray. And then we're going to dive in. God, thank you for Psalms like this. That remind us that in our pain. That in our suffering. That in our loss.
You have words for us. I pray that you would let these words be helpful for our souls. And we ask this in Jesus' name. Amen. All right, so Psalms 22, verses 1 and 2.
My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me? From the words of my groaning. Oh, my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer. And by night, but I find no rest. All right, so we'll stop there.
So we've covered David's life a good bit throughout the Psalms. Because his life kind of sets up as the backdrop. And the context for many of which the Psalms are written. And as we've talked about him. We've noticed that his life was a lot of life of suffering. Like, yeah, he was a king.
And there was times of prospering. But he also was on the run for his life a lot. He was suffering pain and loss and death. And Psalm 22 is written in that context. And he starts out saying, my God, my God. Now we have to stop there.
In the Hebrew language, which is what this was originally written in. Repetition is really important. It serves as a major marker. So as the Israelites would have heard this, they would have stopped and thought about what he was saying. The reason why he stops and he says, my God, my God. Is because what we need to see is that he is lamenting from a position of faith.
He's lamenting from a position of faith. In the midst of loss, David still has faith. You are still my God. So I want us to see that all healthy lamenting is done from a position of faith. And we see that in David's life. And we also see that in the story of Job.
Job is one of the books that's the most helpful books that we have in the Bible on suffering. If you haven't read that book, it's a longer book in the Old Testament. It's one of the oldest stories in the Old Testament. And it's about a man named Job. And Job has a lot. His life is prosperous.
He has a large family. He has lots of money. He has lots of land. He has great health. Everything's going well for Job. And he also loves God.
And then Satan comes along and he talks to God. And he says, you know, the only reason that job loves you, the only reason he has faith in you, is because you've given him all this stuff. If you took all that stuff away, he'd curse you. And God, knowing Job's heart, says, no, that's not what would happen. And in a very uncomfortable reading as we read through it, God says, okay, you can take everything away except for his life. So Job's life immediately starts to fall apart.
His children die. He loses all of his money. He starts suffering. His health starts deteriorating. And he's falling apart. And that's like the first part of the book.
And then the rest of the book, most of the book, is about Job's three friends. They come and they give three speeches. And they're long. And basically, to summarize them, they're kind of this, you must have done something wrong and God's punishing you for it. Some kind of weird God-controlled karma. You earn this.
And Job, as he's listening to these speeches, like he missteps. He missteps. He gets a little arrogant. He questions God's character. But what's beautiful about this story is that his faith doesn't change.
And one of the most beautiful passages in all of the scriptures, Job 13, 15, Job says this. He says, though he slay me. He's talking to God. Though he slay me, I will hope in him. Like that's the position of his heart. And it doesn't change.
And at the end of the book, like God corrects him on his arrogance. But his faith never changes. And God restores his family, his wealth. And he lives a long life that comes out of that. And what we see from Job's story and what's helpful for us for understanding Psalm 22 and lamenting is that God does ordain suffering. Like he allows suffering for a purpose.
I mean, he's the sovereign king of the universe. Like if he wanted to stop a hurricane of pain from happening in your life, if you want to stop Hurricane Harvey from happening, he would. But he doesn't. And we don't always get to know those purposes. Most of the time we don't get to know the purposes behind it. And David is in that context as he's lamenting.
He says, my God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Where are you? Like, why are you far from me? I mean, I'm crying out to you day and night. And all I hear is silence. And I understand David's situation.
We've got to jump down a little bit to verses 12 through 15. I understand what David is going through. In verse 12, he says, As many bulls encompass me, they open wide their mouths at me like a ravening and roaring lion. And the picture here is poetic. He has enemies that are like bulls that are ready to destroy him. And some of us, like we feel like we can relate to that.
Like some of you may have work situations where you feel like every day you go into work, you've got enemies that are ready to take you down, ready to ruin your reputation, ready to move in front of you, ready to take your livelihood. I had a friend in Louisville. He was in the dermatology program at the University of Louisville. It's one of the most competitive programs in the country. And he'd come to a community group every week. And I'd say, man, how was your week?
And he said, it was awful. It's awful. Every single day is awful. Because everyone's positioning. Everyone's trying to sabotage one another. Everyone's trying to move ahead so they can get the next fellowship so they can move on and advance past you.
And some of you, like you feel that. Every day you go into work, you feel like there's enemies that are surrounding you. Some of you feel like that with your families. Like there's people trying to rip your family apart, trying to tear your lives apart. So we can relate to David when he says this.
He keeps going in verse 14. He says, I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint. And the picture here is that David is physically suffering. Which makes sense. I mean, he spent most of his life in battle. Like his body is probably starting to fall apart.
And I can relate to this in a small way. I have regular back and neck problems. Like you saw Chet bring this up. I had to come over and say, dude, my back is starting to tense up. When we brought this over here earlier, I was like, oh. I felt it tightened up a little bit.
Because I regularly have back and neck problems. I had a violent wreck in high school where I flipped a truck on top of me. And ever since then, by God's grace, I survived. That was like a really, I think the survival rate on that wreck is like 1%. But since then, ever since then, I've had back and neck problems.
I mean, every couple months, I'm having to do some rehab. I'm having to get some shots. And it's painful. And as I've been here with you guys the last year, my suffering does not hold a camel to what some of you have walked through. Some of the physical suffering that I've seen in our church. And we're often left wondering, like, why am I suffering like this?
Why is it that I'm continually, I can't, like, God, you could make me better. Why am I suffering like this? And David keeps going in verse 15. He says, my strength is dried up like a pot shared. That's a broken, dried up piece of pottery. So my strength is dried up like a pot shared.
And my tongue sticks to my jaws. And the picture here is that he's starving and he's thirsting to death. And we have stories of David that show that. That on the run for his life, he's starving and he's thirsting. And we can't relate to that as much because we're Americans. And, like, we have an abundance of food.
McDonald's is, like, five miles away at any given time. And you've got a dollar menu. You can go buy food like that. We can't relate to that one-to-one. But we can kind of relate to the financial provisions part of it.
The God providing for us daily bread. I mean, some of us, I mean, I feel like when we build up a little bit of savings, it's like we take two steps forward. And then, like, three steps back, we have a medical bill that comes. Or we have a car that breaks down. And some of you feel like that. You can't ever get over the hump.
I was talking to somebody a couple years ago, and he had made a mistake 15 years ago and was still paying for it. And still financially paying for it. And he looked at me and he said, when is God going to relent? Like, when am I going to get over this? And I just looked at him and I said, I don't know. I don't know.
So we can relate to David's suffering. We can relate to what he's saying here. All healthy lamentsing is done from a position of faith. Like, that idea, we have to hold that central. But lamenting is also airing out, making known, revealing your sufferings before God.
That's airing out your sufferings before God. And we, as we do this, we need to be careful here. Like, we need to be careful because we can air like Job. We can mess up like Job and we can come at it to God from a position of arrogance and pride. And that's not what this is supposed to be. The tone of lamenting is not arrogantly questioning God for our suffering.
It's airing out our sufferings from a position of faith. But here's the deal. We're still called to, like the psalmist, to air out our sufferings before God. And that takes some honesty. I mean, and here's a little bit of the freedom we have here. Like, God knows your heart.
Like, if you're questioning God arrogantly in your heart, like, He knows the thoughts you're going to have before you have them. He knows what's going on there. So we need to ask God to change our heart to help us repent of that. But we need to be honest with God. And if you're like me and you feel a little bit uncomfortable with doing this, just take a Psalm of lament like Psalm 22. Read and pray through it.
And air out your sufferings alongside the psalmist. So, from a position of faith, airing out our sufferings. And then we get to see David's, what he's facing here. As he's facing it, how he remembers God's past presence in Israel. In verses 3 through 5, he says, In the midst of his lamenting, David is remembering who he is and who he comes in the line of. He's remembering the fathers of Israel.
So, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, and David is an anointed king. He's following in that path. He's remembering his identity. That he's a chosen son of God. That he's a chosen king. So, likewise, in the midst of our lamenting, we have to remember our identity.
That we are sons and daughters of God. Now, we're going to touch more on this next week as we close out the Psalm series. Remembering God's work in our lives. But it's important for us in lamenting here to remember this. To remember that if you believe the gospel. Like if you've trusted in Christ as your only hope.
That God finds favor upon you. That, hear this, God loves you. That he loves you. In the midst of our lamenting, we can remember that. Even when it doesn't feel like it. When our situations may seem like that isn't true.
God still loves us. And David, he kind of messily works through this. In verse 6, he says, he goes back. But I'm a worm and not a man. Scorned by mankind and despised by the people. I mean, that's how he feels.
He doesn't even feel like a man. He feels like a worm. Despised by others. And then he keeps going and showing how others are questioning his identity. In verse 7 through 8, he says, Here's what they say. He trusts in the Lord.
David trusts in the Lord. Let him deliver him. Let God rescue him. For God delights in David. So they mock him.
Yes, some things, some things never change. Like David, he hears that. That false understanding that if you're loved by God, suffering won't come. He hears that from others. And some of us, man, we'll hear that from others. We'll hear that from our own flesh.
Just kind of saying, does God really love me? In the midst of all this, really? Does he love me? Some of us are going to hear that from our enemy, from Satan and his band of demons. Are going to whisper in our ear, causing us to question, does God really love you? In the midst of your suffering?
It sure doesn't look like it. And we're going to hear those type of lies and hear those type of doubts. And like David, we should respond with truth. He picks it up in verse 9 through 11. He says, Yet you are he who took me from the womb. You made me trust you at my mother's breast.
On you was I cast from my birth. And from my mother's womb you have been my God. Be not far from me. For trouble is near and there is none to help. So David, he hears the lies and he responds in truth.
He's remembering truth in his lamenting. That God has found favor on David in a unique situation. He's found favor on David since his birth. And out of this truth, he calls upon the Lord. And he says, Be not far from me. For trouble is near.
And in our grieving and our lamenting, we are going to face doubts like David. And we have to respond with truth. Respond with the truth of the gospel. If we can learn to individually lament before God from a position of faith. Airing out our sufferings before God. Remembering our identity as sons and daughters of God.
And responding to doubts and lies with truth. We can grow in being healthy lamenters. Like God can equip us when suffering comes. And suffering is going to come. In college, when I had a family member die, My response was not good. Like I immediately was frustrated and angry.
And my immediate thought was, Why, God? I mean, don't... I thought you loved... Like what's... I was mad. And I started questioning God's goodness and His character.
And I didn't have a good category for how to air out sufferings from a position of faith. And I was having trouble remembering my identity as a son of God. And I did not do well in responding to the lies with truth. And in the years that followed after that, I realized like that cannot be the pattern for how I lament loss. That can't... Like I'm...
That's going to do damage. So over the years, Like I was trying to grow and mourning the smaller losses. And lamenting the smaller losses. And trying to be more faithful throughout that. So I could grow and be prepared.
Because the reality is we live in a fallen world. We live in a broken world. And suffering is going to come. And it came for us in a big way last summer. Last summer, we're getting ready to move down here. And we're excited.
We're getting ready to church plant. But even more than that, We're excited because Anna, my wife, was pregnant. And we were really excited. And we didn't want to see a doctor while we were in Louisville. Because we're getting ready to move. So we waited some time.
We moved down here. We tell our friends. We tell our family. And then eventually we find a doctor down here. So we go to see the doctor.
And we're excited. It's the first sonogram appointment. And the sonogram tech starts to do her work. And she finds the heartbeat. And it was really, really dim. And immediately, my wife picks up on something's very, very wrong.
I'm a little bit slower. And the nurse finally says, Have you had trouble in previous pregnancies? And that hit me like a ton of bricks. Because we didn't have a history of that in our family on either side. And it hit us. And there was a painful silence for the rest of that ultrasound.
And then she gets up. And she says, The doctor will see you when you're ready. And we are scared. And I just take Anna's hand. And I just start praying. I'm like, God.
You're sovereign. You're the king of the universe. You can save our child. I put a ton of hope in that heartbeat. I was like, you can save our child. But whatever happens, God, just be with us.
Help us get through this. And then the doctor comes. And she's just honest with us. She said, listen, based on what we're seeing, you're going to miscarry in the next couple of weeks.