Time to Change
Transcript
Good morning. How y'all doing? All right. I'm going to say a quiet prayer for all of y'all. Grab your Bibles and go to Ephesians chapter 4. We're walking through the book of Ephesians.
As Spencer said, we're kind of in this section right now where Paul has shifted from the first three chapters where he was giving some big theological truths. And now he's shifting into what it actually looks like in life as we obey, as we follow Jesus and what he does among a group of people. How they begin to change, how they begin to look. And so that's kind of what we're spending some time on. And so we'll be in Ephesians chapter 4. We'll be in verses 25 through chapter 5, verse 2.
And we've said this a couple of times, but the chapters and verses were added later. So this was just one big letter that Paul wrote. And then later on, chapters were added. And after that, sometime verse Numbers were added to try to help you be able to quickly reference things. It was to help the church, but those are just in there to be helpful. So it's not some of y'all, maybe it stresses you out that we would roll from chapter 4 into chapter 5.
But if it helps you to know that those were added later and we can do whatever we want as we read through this text. There you go. Have you ever tried to change something about yourself? You ever given any effort towards that? You ever tried to change your sleep pattern? Or tried to change an exercise pattern?
It's February. How are your New Year's resolutions going? You didn't think those would be brought up, did you? Shame. Shame on all of you and pride for like one of you who's like, I crushed it. Everybody else.
No, but like that's, have you ever tried to change a thing? Like the only people who ever think dieting is easy are people who've never really dieted. They never, they're like, well just change how you eat. And it's like, just shut up. There's, changing something's hard. And one of the things I notice is like, for ourselves, we've got a lot of room, a lot of grace.
There's a lot of space for like, change is difficult. You know, I'm, I'm introverted. That's just what I'm like. Or I'm extroverted. I'm just loud and in your face. And that's just who I am.
And if that scares you, well I'm sorry. Like that, you know, like, you know what I'm talking about? Like I'm introverted, so I don't actually have to know anyone or leave my house. It's like, well, um, okay. Like, you know, we have these, I'm, I'm Italian, so I yell and throw things when I get mad. It's like, well, um, but like we have a lot of space for, a lot of grace for when our own ability to change and the amount of time it takes to change.
I noticed this a lot in, um, we have very little space or time for when it, for someone else. And I noticed this a lot in young married couples in our church family where they'll sit us down. They've been married for like a year, six months. And they're like, if this doesn't change, I just don't even know. And we've talked about it twice. It's been seven days.
And I just don't even know if we're going to, it's like, slow, slow your roll a little bit. Like I brought it up and, and then it happened again four days later. What do you want me to do? Bring it up again? And it's like, just, but I, I, I see, I always, I, you know, I feel for him, but I'm also entertained every time I get to have that conversation. Cause I get to see me in that where it's like, I want to look at my wife and be like, I already told you this was a problem.
I don't know why you fixed it. We've been married going on nine years. Now there are still things that she'll bring up that she's been talking to me about for nine years. And I'm like, Hey, I'm trying. I'm working, baby, I'm working on it. And it's like, I'm doing a terrible Job working on it, but I'm working on it.
Like let's, let's give some. And so change is hard. And that's the text that we're in today where Paul is just writing to the church. And here's what he says, change, be different. He's, we, we spent time last week as, as Spencer was reading through where he says, put off the old self and put on the new self. He says, this is a, he talks about your former life and how you chased sin and how you lived pursuing your desires.
And he says, that's not how you learned Christ. As you've been taught in him, put off the old self, put on the new self. And so what we get to look at today in this text is him walking through and giving us pictures of old self, new self. He's giving us pictures. He's given us, um, categories for put this off, put this on. And so here's what I want us to do today.
I want you to see that. Let's say you started here, old self, then you became a Christian. You placed your faith in Jesus. You realized I'm a sinner. I've got problems. I've got things that I've done that I shouldn't have done.
I've got heart issues. I need Christ to save me. And now he's saved you. He's coming to your life and you've got some things to get rid of. You've got some growing to do. You've got to put off some things and put on some things and you've got to move this direction.
You've got to have a trajectory of growth, a trajectory of change. So that when it comes to anger and how you respond to situations, you've got to go over time from this spot down there. When it comes to work ethic, when it comes to how you treat people and respond to people, and when it comes to your ability to forgive and to love and to be gracious, you've got to work yourself from here to there. That when we become Christians, we are now on a trajectory to change. And so what I want us to do today is as we read through this, I want you to prayerfully, if you're a Christian, if you believe in Christ, I want you to just start asking, have I put that off and have I put on the new action?
So when we talk about anger, just kind of gauge yourself, where am I? Have I put away anger? Have I put on the new action? Kind of where do I fall in this? And so we're going to spend some time just kind of evaluating, kind of investigating our own hearts. And then we're going to try to understand why Paul approaches it the way he does and why he has the confidence that he has.
So let's pray and then we'll read the entire text together and then we'll walk through it. God, we ask for your grace today that we might see ourselves rightly. That you might be good enough to us that we would accurately begin to see where we need to change. What about us needs to be different, where we need to grow. And we ask for your help as we do this this morning in Jesus' name. Amen.
Amen. Verse 25, chapter 4, verse 25 through 5 to therefore, having put away, put it, put away falsehood. Let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor doing honest work with his own hands so that he may have something to share.
Let the devil's hear with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up as fits the occasion that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you. Therefore, be imitators of God as beloved children and walk in love as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
I think you're going to have to wrestle with yourself a little bit as we go through this text today, because we are tempted culturally to just kind of lean into identity. That's who I am. That's just what I'm like. We have a whole lot of like if people don't like you for you, just get rid of them. And Paul steps in and says, maybe you need to change. Maybe you need to grow.
Maybe there needs to be something different about you. And he steps in and begins to say, this has got to go. This has got to come. You've got to get rid of this. You've got to put this on. And so that's what we're going to walk through and look at.
Let's start in verse 25. Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. So he begins by saying, OK, if you if you're in Christ, put away falsehood. Have having done this, he's just assuming that falsehood has left, that when you became a Christian, that when you place your faith in Christ, one of the first things to get rid of was your falseness. You're faking your pretense. You're lying that you came to God and were open and honest with.
I'm a sinner. I'm in need of help. I'm admitting the worst about me and I'm getting rid of all my falsehood. And the reason he gives, he says, get rid of falsehood. Let each of you speak the truth with his neighbor. And this is kind of the pattern that he'll follow.
He'll say, get rid of this. Start doing this. Here's why. That's kind of the pattern he's going to follow. There's a few times where he he doesn't follow that, but mostly that's what he says. So he says, get having put away falsehood, speak the truth with his neighbor for we are members one of another.
And the way Paul uses the word member, it's not like a member of a club that he uses to to kind of illustrations to explain member. And he uses member throughout his letters. He means body member and family member. He does not mean member of an organization. So if you said of your A.V. club in high school, yeah, last year we had 10 members and this year we have eight.
OK, if you said that same sentence about your family last year, we had 10 members and this year we have eight. That's a completely different sentence. Body members, family members is a different. It's an intensely connected. So the reason why he says to be honest is that we are intensely connected with one another.
The same way that your body parts are members of your body are connected to one another. This past weekend, if I had been working with a saw and cut my hand off and you saw me and said, how are you doing? I wouldn't say, well, you know, 90 percent of me is doing great. I think I mostly focus on the hand issue that I had. And that's the point he's talking about is is that we're deeply entrenched, intensely connected with one another. And therefore, honesty, falsehood is gone and honesty is here.
And I want to tell you what that means. That means that when you hang out with your community group. You don't fake. You don't pretend. When you're hanging out with your church family, you're not trying to make it look like you've got yourself more put together than you do. You're not trying to act like, oh, I've got everything in order and I'm fine and everything's good.
Hallelujah. Hallelujah. When that's not what's going on. That we've put away falsehood and that we're honest with one another. We speak the truth. It also means that when someone in your group is sinning or they have an issue or they ask you a question, you respond honestly.
Hey, do you think this is a problem? Do you think I was wrong there? No. No, you're not wrong. I bet they just had a bad attitude. And then later, because you're Southern, you say no.
And then later you go to the other person and go, can you believe that person over there? And it's like, no, you were supposed to speak the truth, which was, yes, I think that is an issue. I think that is a problem. I'm glad you brought it up because I was going to have to. That we're honest. I want to give a quick caveat to this for two particular individuals.
If you don't fit in one of these categories, just zone out for 30 seconds. But if you fit in this category, I need to help you out. There's a person in here. Not a specific person. I know y'all, so don't be like, oh, he's talking about me. Calm down.
A type of person in here who will overthink some of this stuff and will be like, okay, I have to put away falsehood. Okay. Okay. And then you'll go to the DMV and they'll be like, how are you doing? And you'll say, fine. And then you'll get in your car and go, I'm not fine.
I didn't put away falsehood. And then you'll walk back in the DMV and go, I have problems. Yes, you need to be transparent. You need to be honest. But with a specific group of people, a certain group of people in a certain setting at a certain time.
It's okay to say I'm doing well. It's okay to say I'm not doing great. When you come hang out on Sunday and someone says, I'm not doing great. But I got some people I'm talking to about that. I got some people I'm walking in life with. Just be praying for me if you get a chance.
You don't have to paint a smile on, but you also don't have to go every time someone says, how are you doing? Go, let me reconfess my sins. So you don't have to do that. Jesus, I'm going to give you a quick example of this. Jesus is with his disciples. He feeds 5,000 people.
He sends his disciples off in a boat. And then later, he dismisses the crowds. And he walks on water across the lake to where they're going. People look for him the next day where they know he was. And they also know all the boats left. They then circle around the lake.
They find him. And the first question they ask, which is an intelligent, reasonable question, how did you get over here? Now, the answer to that question is, I walked on water. Do you know how he responds to that question? The only reason y'all were looking for me is because I fed y'all last time. He does not answer their question.
You don't have to answer every question to every person. You do have to answer questions to certain people. And so the second group of person I just need to address real quick is the person who said, put away falsehood. Put down pretense. Quit faking. Not happening.
Be transparent. No, sir. No, you have to. You have to with some people. You have to with your community group. You have some people in your life that you've got to tell how you're doing.
And it can't be, I talk to my cousin in Tulsa on the phone once a month and tell them how I'm doing. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You've got to have some people around you that know how you're doing, that know your sin, that are walking deeply with you so that you can repent, be open. With the members of your family, with the members of your church family who you belong to, we put away falsehood. 26. Be angry.
Oh, before we move on to 26, you can keep it up on the screen. How you doing? When it comes to putting away falsehood, how you doing? When it comes to being honest, how often are you finding in yourself that you're only given half truth? How often when it's time for your group to confess, are you only confessing this thing but keeping this back? How often are you finding when it's time to pray about something, you come to the moment of, I really should talk about this, and then you just back up?
Because you just can't stand to have people know really how you're doing and what's really going on. He says, put away falsehood. Start speaking the truth. 26. Be angry and do not sin. Now some of y'all, right when we started reading verse 26, you got excited.
Paul said, be angry. You were like, amen, close the book, let's head home. I got it. I'm done. Be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger and give no opportunity to the devil.
There's some freedom in this verse because he does say be angry. It's okay to be angry. It's not a Christian virtue to be just stoic all the time and to always just be perfectly calm. No, there was, Jesus was calm in the middle of situations. There were also times that Jesus, you know, flipped over some tables and had a whip and was very angry. Startling.
It would have made little church people freak out. He was angry. It's okay to be angry. You just can't sin when you're angry, in your anger. It says, be angry and do not sin. So you can get angry.
You can get frustrated. There are times that you should be angry. It's at sin at work in the world. There are times that you should be angry, but then you have to process it. Well, you have to not sin in your anger. And he covers more anger issues later, but he says, do not let the sun go down on your anger and do not give up, give no opportunity to the devil.
Here's what that means. Anger does not get a resting place with you. It has a place, but it doesn't get to stay. It can visit, but it doesn't get to dwell with you. It doesn't get to live with you. It doesn't get to stay overnight.
Anger is like your boyfriend or girlfriend. When it gets dark, they've got to go home. All right. Don't let the sun go down on your anger. Give no opportunity to the devil. So anger, you don't get to let it fester.
You don't get to let it dwell. It doesn't get to keep hanging out. Anger is a, so here me explain what happens. Something happens and you're angry, rightfully angry. What they did was wrong. What they did was messed up.
What they did was busted. That's one of the things that we have all the time. People go, they really did this. It's like, I know. Yeah, it's a real thing. They sinned.
They harmed you. That shouldn't have happened. But then you got to keep a short account. You got to go address it with people. You got to go talk to them. You got to go say, hey, this really bothered me.
This hurt me. Let me explain how this goes to work. And I want to show you all the reason he gives should terrify us a little bit. Should startle us a little bit. Do not let the sun go down on your anger and give no opportunity to the devil. Okay, we're Christians.
We believe that there is a good, holy, righteous being that exists in the world and is at work for our good. That God is good and holy and righteous and he's at work for our good. And we also believe that there is evil in the world. Spiritual evil that we can't see that is at work for our destruction. And he says that if you have untended anger, that you're allowing it to stay with you, you are giving an opportunity to Satan. Now, I don't know about y'all, but if there's people, if there's someone on earth you didn't want to give opportunity to, it's Satan.
We recently had a lot of car break-ins in my neighborhood. And people just go through and just pull on car doors. That's the extent of their effort. If your car door is unlocked, opportunity. If your car door is locked, next house. And what he's saying is if you allow anger to hang out, to dwell with you, you unlock the doors for Satan to come join.
You allow him to hop in. You allow him to begin to mess with things. Let me explain how this works because I get to see this a good bit. You're hanging out with your group and you're talking through something and someone in your group says something. And it's like, okay, that felt like that was aimed at me. They know me well enough.
I feel like that little comment was a shot. Well, then you start thinking about all the terrible things you know about that person because you know them well enough. You start working on your own little shot you might take and then you're like, no, I'm better than that. No, I'm a good person. I'm not going to do that. So now you're a little frustrated with him, but you think, I'm going to let it go.
You don't, but you think that. You tell yourself that. And then you go home. You go to sleep. The sun sets. You unlock your doors.
So here's what happens. It starts to hang around. The next time you're hanging out with your group, you go, you know what? They did that last time. Let me listen. Let me see if they're going to keep that up.
Now you're looking for it. So you'll find something that just kind of fits. That was it. If you can't find one that fits you, you'll go, that was aimed at them. This is just something they do. Now you've got a little lens you're working on with this person.
Slowly you start growing cold towards them. Slowly stuff begins to grow up between you and them. Slowly when they're now talking, you have a hard time even listening to the word they say because you've got this anger growing. You've got this bitterness that's working towards them. And here's what happens. The enemy comes along, puts his arm around you and says, you are so right.
They're doing it on purpose. You start hanging out on a Sunday. You show up. You see them. You look at them. They look at you.
They made a little face. I think they made a face. They look right past you. They wave at the person behind you. That was on purpose. And you don't think that maybe that unfortunately due to genetics, this is just what their face looks like when they're thinking.
And they can't help it. You also don't realize that maybe they just look past you. You also don't realize the fact that you did not wave to them. You did not say hey to them. And the enemy's coming along. At this point, he's rubbing your back.
Yeah. They're doing it on purpose. And suddenly, you have someone in your community group that you have a hard time even hanging out because they're being so fake when the truth is, that's you. You're pretending. You're lying. You're faking.
And we don't even know what's going on with them. And so here's what happens. You have to keep a short account. Something makes you angry? Fine. Go talk to them.
Hey, were you trying to take a shot at me? Here's now you have a couple options. You started the conversation. That's a little scary, but it's good. Were you trying to take a shot at me? Was that aimed at me on purpose?
A couple options. It was. They lie. No. Okay, well, they're sinning. You can't help that.
Maybe the Lord will bring them to repentance at some point. But you're doing what you're supposed to. Other option. Yes. It was passive aggressive, and I'm sorry. I shouldn't do that.
But I do need to talk to you about this issue. Cool. Now y'all are growing. This is healthy. Third option. No.
But I see how you took it that way. And I just wanted you to know I'm not malicious. I'm just dumb. I absolutely shouldn't have said that. Because I do know your story. But I'm so sorry.
And then guess what? You get to go home. The sun sets, but not on your anger. Americans are really bad at that, so get over it, and you just got to work on it. We're really good at being like, well, I'll just see, and if this gets weird enough, I'll go somewhere else. And we just don't have to be friends.
And no, that's not a biblical concept. So talk to them. Work it out. If you don't know how to go about that, we will help. We will help set the stage for that. Help work that out with your group, with your group leader, whoever.
28. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. So Paul says, if you've been getting your financial stability unlawfully, stop it. If you've been shoplifting, if you've been stealing, if you've been cheating, if you've been lying, stop it. Let the person who went out of his way to send emails to trick people and to get their social security, stop it. Let him no longer steal.
Now, he's talking about thieves. I would say, I think this probably also applies to lazy people. Just inserting that. Thief seems further down the line than just lazy. What he says is, stop stealing, start working. That Christians are to do honest labor with their hands.
They're to labor. They're to do hard work. To get effort in. That's what Christians do. They work. And then he gives the reason why.
He says, let the thief no longer steal. Let him get a job. And let me tell you something. If you've been stealing, jobs are the worst. If you've been selling weed, a nine to five at Best Buy. Oh, it feels like murder.
I'm just being honest. It's good for you. It's what Christians are supposed to do. If you've just been being lazy and just hanging out because you can get assistance from your family or from some kind of other source and you just haven't been working. Get a job. It's good for you.
It's what we're supposed to do. It's godly. But he says, go to work, start laboring. And then he says, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. So, you stealing? You're getting your provision in an unhonest way?
Are you pretending to be unhealthy to get medical assistance? Are you pretending to be mentally unstable to get medical? Are you doing something that's getting by on the system? Stop. Start working. The question now is, are you working hard?
Are you laboring? When you go to work, when you go home, would Jesus look and go, that was labor? Or was it only labor when somebody was watching? Third question. Is a portion of your income intended for sharing? Is a portion of your income intended for sharing?
When someone in your group says, hey, guys, I really have a need, do you immediately go, yeah, ready? Now, how beautiful is that? If every person who is a Christian just had a whole set aside. He doesn't say give it all away. He says share. Had a share.
Had a set aside portion that was ready for needs. Isn't that beautiful? When Jesus comes along, thieves get jobs and begin to share. They do the exact opposite of what they had been doing. 29. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths.
29. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths. But only such as is good for building up. 30. 30. 30.
30. 30. 30. 30. That it may give grace to those who hear and do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. So the Holy Spirit has sealed you.
He's talked about that in Ephesians already, that the Holy Spirit has sealed you. He's claimed you. He's made you his. And that when we speak in a corrupting way, in a way that corrodes, in a way that destroys, in a way that harms, the Holy Spirit is grieved. It hurts him. The Holy Spirit is a person.
He's not a force. He's hurt. It's harmful. It's almost as if, have you ever been in an argument where these two people are arguing, but their mom's there, or their grandma's there, and that's the person who cries? Do you know what I'm talking about? Like these people are saying the most harmful things, but they're so angry, and there's another person at the table who just is so hurt.
Because that's not what that's supposed to look like. That's the Holy Spirit in you when you're tearing somebody down. That he's just hurt. Because that's not what that's supposed to look like. That's not how Christians are supposed to speak. So he says, let no corrupting talk, which means that anything that works to harm, to corrode, to destroy, to rust.
Sometimes I think about it like the tin man. He was out working, doing his thing, and then it started raining, and then he turned into, he locked all up. I've seen this movie. You know what I'm talking about. And somebody had to come back along, and put oil on him, to try to get him working again. Some of us, you're like that.
You know that. You know things that someone said to you, that worked its way into your joints, and there's a whole part of your life, that just doesn't work right anymore. It just doesn't move like it should. You had somebody speak something into you, and you know, sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will harm me forever. That's really how that ought to work. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will crawl into my soul, and destroy me.
That's how it works. You have stuff that somebody said to you, that your father said to you, that your uncle said to you, that mean girls in middle school said to you, that still sticks with you. You can't curl your hair to this day, because of some random thing somebody said to you. There's this whole part of your life, that just doesn't work right. And that's not how Christians, are supposed to talk to each other. We give grace.
We give oil. We free people up to move. And so we fan the flame. We put wind in people's sails. That's how we talk to each other. Now he says, as fits the occasion, which means that sometimes it is gracious, fitting words to correct someone.
That's what Proverbs says, that profuse are the kisses of an enemy, and beautiful are the blows of a friend. That sometimes correction comes from those who love us, and cherish us, and that's gracious. That's good. That's what Jesus does. He corrects us in our sin. So sometimes you could say something really nice.
It doesn't fit the occasion. It didn't help. But Christians come along, and they say words of encouragement. They spur people on. They challenge people to do better, to work harder, to follow Jesus, to have more faith. And one of the ways I know that we need this, is if you ever take the time to just go up to somebody, most of us are thinking nice things all the time, by the way.
You think nice things about people. Man, it was so nice that they did that. And then what you say out loud is, your friend walks over, he's wearing pink striped shorts. He says, hey man. And you say, I'm sorry I couldn't hear you, your shorts are too loud. That's what you say out loud.
You don't think, I just want to let you know how good of a friend you are, and how much I appreciate that you're here. And here's one of the reasons I know that we need this, is that if you'll take the time to actually go over to someone and just say something encouraging, you will make grown adults cry. If you just grab someone and say, I just want to let you know, I see Jesus at work in you. And when you called our group to this the other day, I was so proud. And I just want to let you know, you make our community group better. You'll see people's eyes just glisten up, and they'll go, well, thank you.
Sometimes they just go, and it's like, oh man, we so need this. The leadership of our church gets to take a couple days during the summer usually to pray and just kind of to work on some stuff. And we did competitive encouragement, which Romans 12 says to outdo one another in showing honor. And so we just went in a circle, and it was this person's turn, and everybody in the room just said nice things. It was the weirdest thing for us, you guys. It was terrible.
And by the end of it, we were all like, okay, well, that was lame. Because we need this, and this is how we're supposed to talk to one another. We're supposed to give words that build up, that encourage, that move people forward. That's how the church talks. And that's when the Holy Spirit in you is going, that's exactly what I wanted to say. That's exactly what I would have told them if I could have pulled them aside.
So many of us are right now working our whole lives against a negative internal self-talk. about what we can't do, how ugly we are, how dumb we are, how much we ruin everything, and we have been filled by a Holy Spirit, and we've been surrounded by other people filled by a Holy Spirit who needs to come along and grab you up and say, let me tell you how great you are and how much I see Jesus at work in you and how much I believe in you and how much potential you have. 31, on that, on that, some of y'all need to repent for some things you said to some people. You need to go talk to them. And some of y'all need to repent for some things you didn't say to people and you need to go say some encouraging stuff that you've thought.
31, Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you along with all malice. Okay, so earlier he said be angry, now he says put it away. And here's the thing, it's like as a pattern of life, wrath and bitterness and anger and clamor and slander don't have a place with us. They don't belong in the church, they don't belong among God's people. Bitterness is where we slowly just grow this frustration, hatred towards somebody, this anger towards somebody. Who in your group begins to talk and you start to roll your eyes?
Who in your group starts to talk and you go, here we go again. Who is it they can't even get a word out, they just go, well, and you go, oh my gosh. Who is it that you have malice towards? I hope, I hope they see what happens in their life. I hope, I hope that this finally catches up towards them. You just have ill will towards them.
How many of you when you get angry have clamor, which means loudness? Shouting. saying harmful words. How many of you as a posture of life just have wrath? Anger is what drives you, it's what motivates you, it's how you go to work. Slander is speaking, speaking unhelpful, wrong, evil things about somebody to somebody else. That's why as a posture of our church, one of the things we say is that when you come to me and say, this person did this, my response is, what did they say when you told them?
Because we don't practice slander. Then he says, be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another as God and Christ forgave you. this one messes with me a little bit because tender hearted is a cut down in my family. He might as well have said, be kind to one another, be a sissy, forgive one another. Like that's really, that's the way it hits me, like it just, it's kind of, and he just says, be it. Like the most tender hearted member of my family is my brother Vince and I sometimes, like I'll do it at some point, like tell him I'm sorry for all the stuff we did to him. That's a joke, I need to refer to him.
But like he's not like a super tender hearted person, he was just the most in my family and so we were really, really hard on him. I remember one time I had read the book of Mice and Men so I knew how it worked and then I rented the movie and he was watching with me and I knew what was going to happen at the end of Mice and Men. If you don't know what's going to happen at the end of Mice and Men, the guy that you like the most is going to die. So you should check it out sometime. And the way he's going to die is that his friend is going to shoot him to be gracious to him because he's mentally handicapped, he causes some harm that he didn't mean to cause, he's going to spend the rest of his time in prison and so his friend thinks it's nicer to just kill him than to let him live and so I, this is when we have VCRs and so rewinding was easier.
You know, like rewinding was just easier with VCR, it wasn't as quick but you could get where you wanted to go way better than you can get where you want to go with this other stuff. You're like, oh let me see who that person was and then you're 30 minutes behind now, it's all messed up. Anyway, I had a VCR and it was easy to rewind and so I sat and I knew it was about to happen and right when he got shot and fell over, I just went, and you know, still like for just a second and then he was right back up and I did it like seven times. My brother, who was in middle school, was sitting in his little chair and I just looked at him and he was like, and little tears were rolling down his face and I was going, and then Paul says, if you're in Christ, be tender hearted, care, love, when someone's hurting, that should hurt you too.
And he just comes to me and says, do it. Change. Be kind to one another that we as Christians would care about what was happening with each other. when someone in your group ran against the same wall over and over and over and over again, when other people would grow bitter, when other people would grow frustrated, when other people, you would care more almost every single time because not only are they still hitting that wall, but they don't know how to stop hitting it. And we would be kind and we would be tender hearted and we would come to him and say, this is the fourth time you've blown past your budget and you're making your life hard and I'm sorry, but how do we help?
How do I feel what you feel rather than just being frustrated with you? Forgiving one another as God and Christ forgave you. That's one of the, I love that, that that is there. If you haven't been around for a while, I want to give you a promise. If you stay as a part of our church family for long enough, we will hurt you. We'll sin against you.
We'll do something so messed up that you'll think Christians should have never done that and you're right, we shouldn't have. And that's why Paul follows this list up with forgive. Forgive. People, I sit with people sometimes and I'm like, I just don't know how to be in that group anymore. And it's like, yeah, I know how you can be in that group. You forgive.
You confront, you get them to repent. They confess their sin and you forgive. You hug them, you tell them you love them. And how do you do that? Because Christ forgave you. That's what we're supposed to look like.
That's who we're supposed to be and he just says, do it. Imagine this for a second. Let's just think about this list that we just walked through. If you were hanging out with a community group, maybe it's the first time you ever went and got around a community group, but if they were actually practicing this, let me tell you what would happen. You'd show up and they would say nice things to each other. And that would be weird because we're just not used to that.
But they would just be going out of their way. You'd start realizing like, man, this is a weird like complimentary, like, is this a cult? Like, you just would start being like, they're just too, there's a little bit too much caring about each other. They'd come in and ask about life things. Hey, you said this last week. How's that going?
How's work going? You still having the issue with your boss? Man, I'm so sorry. You'd have people saying, I just want to tell you how much you blessed our group last week when this happened. They'd get angry with each other and then they would just address it. Some of you, the first time you ever go hang out with a group is going to be the night they're just addressing how mad they are at each other.
Those happen. Let me tell you, those are actually good nights for you to see because it's really healthy for you to see someone say, hey, I need to talk to how, how I don't even want to be here and I'm mad at everybody in this group. And you're like, whoa. And then they talk it out. And they're like, hug and pray and it's weird and sometimes they're like, okay, well, we're still mad. Well, we're going to see each other again.
Like, this is how we deal with it. We got to keep being around each other. You start seeing them forgive one another. You start seeing them say encouraging things. You start seeing them correct one another. In love, you'll start seeing them.
Someone will say, hey guys, I really need something. And everybody in the room hand will just like reach for their wallet. What do you need? It's not weird for you to have a need and it's not weird for you to ask for it. It's beautiful when this starts to work its way around among a group of people as Jesus works in their hearts. Here's what I want to point out as we finish up.
I watched a sketch on MADtv one time where they were doing a thing where, yeah, I've watched MADtv. It used to come on Comedy Central. Don't judge me. Where they were doing a thing where a guy was being a counselor and so somebody would come in and they would tell him his problems and he would sit with his little pen and his legs crossed and then when they finished talking he would go, okay, stop it. And they would just look and he would say, stop it. And he would just yell at them, stop it.
And then he would send them out and charge them and then somebody else would come in and he would do the same thing. And that's ridiculous to us. That's crazy. That's the worst way to counsel ever because we all know that doesn't work and then the Apostle Paul just said, stop it. That's what he said. Put this away.
Pick that up. I want to point this out in this last verse but he's been doing it the whole time. He says, be put away from you. He says, just let that be put away from you. Throw it away. Get rid of it.
And then he just says, be. Stop it. Start. You're welcome. Counseling session over. That's what he does.
It's just like, of course, don't be angry. Like all of us are like, I already knew all these things. Don't steal. But then I'm somewhere and it just feels like, oh, no, no, no, and life's hard and I really gotta, oh, and I don't know what I'd do if I'd quit getting this benefit if I was honest about the fact that I can go back to work. Like, he just says, stop. Start.
Stop. Looking at someone who's bitter and they sit down and say, I'm just so bitter. I just go, oh, let me help you out. Paul says, don't be. You just got pastored. It's a good thing I don't charge for that kind of thing, right?
Like you would just be like, what? That's what he says. Guys, I want to help you see why. Chapter 5, verses 1 and 2. See, he's gotta have this confidence coming from somewhere. Either he's just saying it and he's assuming that we won't really be able to do it, but from what I've read of the Apostle Paul, that doesn't seem right.
Seems like he pretty much believes this is gonna happen. He says, therefore be imitators of God as beloved children. Be imitators of God as beloved children. Some of us know all you've got is the imitate God part. You've got the what would Jesus do? And you think the role, the job of a Christian is to work really hard to be good.
And we are. You are supposed to. You're supposed to obey. You're supposed to repent. You're supposed to work really hard to be good. But you're supposed to do it, comma, as beloved children.
You're supposed to imitate God, which means you need to be reading your Bible to see what he's like. Not just winging it on what you think God should be like. Yeah, you need to imitate him. You need to know what he's like. You need to know what he does. You need to know how he responds to sin.
But you do it as a beloved child, which is so helpful. I've got two boys now, which I'm pretty excited about. The one's three weeks old. And yesterday, somebody was over at our house. I was in our community group and she'd been watching them so that we could go get a date. And then we came home.
We were just hanging out a little bit and talking. And my little boy was crying and my three-year-old was sitting there and she looked at him and said to my three-year-old son Archer, she said, tell Ellis to stop crying. Tell him to calm down. And he looked at her and said, he doesn't speak English. I thought, that's my boy. And it's true.
My son Ellis does not speak English. But one day he will and he has no chance of speaking any other language growing up in our house. He's not going to pick up Spanish. One day he's not going to pop out with Portuguese. That cat is going to speak English. He doesn't yet.
My son was right. Telling him things doesn't help yet. But he's going to. That we're going to, because we are God's children, we're going to be formed into the image of God. That we're told in Romans that we're predestined to be conformed to the image of Christ. It is going to happen.
If you belong to Jesus, if he has claimed your soul and you have been adopted by the Father, guess what? You're going to look like him. I have a buddy of mine that I went to middle school and high school with. He's a good friend of mine. I liked him. We had a lot of fun together.
And I doubt he listens to this. But he was just kind of goofy. He's real thin. He's funny. But he wasn't super coordinated.
And one day he said, I'm going to join the Marines. And I was like, hmm. Okay. You got any other things you're thinking about or just that one? He said, I'm going to go be a Marine. And I was like, okay.
Now, if you saw him, you would not think, I'm a Marine. If you knew him, really got to know him, you would not think, I'm a Marine. Like you just wouldn't. And this cat, went to camp with June. And then later, I see pictures of him. And he's a Marine.
He's wearing the uniform. Cat's got a sword. People don't get to carry swords. Marines do. Like if I just went and got a sword. Nah, man.
Put it up. But how cool is it to get a sword? And it'd be like an acceptable, yeah, you know, you can carry a sword. Like we've looked at certain people in our society and like carry it around. You got it. He became one.
And here's how the Marines work. You go to basic. You sign. It's over. You are like, it's going to happen. You're in.
Deal with it. And here's what happens. They recycle you. So if you don't get the physical portion down, you don't get to go home. They just start you back over. Everybody else gets to move on.
If you finally get that and you don't get the gun portion down, guess what? You don't go home. They just recycle you. Now eventually that breaks down. But guess what?
With Jesus, it doesn't. If you're down here on anger, guess what? Eventually you're going to look like Jesus. If you're down here when it comes to hard work and sharing, guess what? Eventually you're going to look like Jesus. And that's why Paul just says, stop it and pick it up because he believes that the Holy Spirit is going to work in you, that you are a beloved child of God and that you're going to imitate Him because you belong to Him and eventually you're going to make it.
Now that is extremely encouraging because some of you are in here today thinking, will I ever stop? Will this always win? Will I ever accomplish this? And guess what? At one point, you get a uniform and a sword. You get to look like Jesus.
It's going to happen. And that's why we all aggressively work this direction and expect this out of each other. You don't get to peg a person in your group and say they're just like that. No, they are now. But they're not going to be.
You don't get to peg yourself and say that's just who I am. No, it is who you are now but you're not going to be. I have a son who cannot speak English who every time you wake him up poops on himself. He's like that now. He's not going to be. And that's us in Christ.
And here's why. Walk in love, verse 2, as Christ loved us. And gave himself up for us. A fragrant offering and a sacrifice to God.
