Lord of the Sabbath
Transcript
Good morning. My name is Spencer and I'm one of the pastors here. We're going to be in Matthew 12 today, verses 1 through 21. I would encourage you to follow along with us today as we walk through the text. The text will not be on the screen. In the blue Bibles, that's page 476.
There are also black Bibles that have large print as well. So, I have two brothers and two sisters. My oldest brother, Sean, he's a part of our church. My other brother, who's two years older than me, he lives in Charleston. And we grew up together and we were the worst. We fought all the time.
My mom deserves a medal because we fought and we argued all the time. And I remember one specific time when I was about five or six. He was really good at getting under my skin. He was always a few steps ahead of me. He'd get under my skin. He would egg me on.
We were playing basketball this one time and we got into an argument and it started to get more heated. And we started lobbing, you know, schoolyard insults at each other. But it started to escalate and he knew something. He knew that recently I had learned a few colorful curse words. I just started riding the bus and I heard all the words. And public school buses for you.
He knew I learned a few words. And all of a sudden he's like, I'm going to get one of them out of him. So he kept pressing and pressing and pressing. And I finally got so mad that a hundred dollar curse word came out. I just, I lobbed it at him. And his righteous, unstained ears heard it.
And he's like, the only thing I can do to bring justice to this situation is to go and tell mom. So he turns around and he bolts it back to the house. He says, I'm telling mom. And as he heard last week, I had trouble running as a kid. So I took one deep breath and I ran towards the house.
And I ran out of steam. And he got there first. And he told my mom what I'd said. But he had really misunderstood and underestimated how her response would be. Because her general take in situations like this was, you probably deserved it. That's just, that was what she did.
I mean, she saw how much he egged me on. And I think that's literally what came out of her mouth. You probably deserved it. Get out. And the other thing that he misunderstood is that she wasn't a fool. She knew what was up.
She knew all, we pulled these kind of stunts on each other all the time. We were always messing with each other. We were always trying to get the other in trouble. She knew that his motives were not pure. She knew that he wasn't trying to promote justice like that. She completely saw through it.
And at this point in the Gospel of Matthew, we kind of get to do the same thing. I mean, we, at every point when the Pharisees, who were the religious leaders of Israel, at every point they show up, you can rest assured, their motives are not pure. They are not looking to promote justice. They're not looking to promote righteousness. Their motives are not pure. And every time that they have an encounter with Jesus, you can see it coming.
They are trying to catch him. They're trying to find a way to catch him in his works. And today we're going to see just that in chapter 12. We're going to see the Pharisees who seize upon something to actively take Jesus down. And from this point forward, it's going to be not just opposition to Jesus, but they're actively looking to take him down and destroy his movement. So we're going to see this today.
We're going to see the Pharisees attack him with a pretty strong accusation. But here's the deal. Jesus, unlike five-year-old me, is sinless. He is guiltless. He is innocent. And also, unlike me, he is ten steps ahead of them when they come at him.
So we're going to see that. We're going to see Jesus go to work with five different defenses against the Pharisees. We're going to watch him walk through these five defenses. And here's what's going to be abundantly clear. There are two different paths that come out of this story. There's one with Jesus that is marked by mercy.
And there's one with the Pharisees that is marked by self-righteousness. We're going to see his mercy at odds with their self-righteousness. And we get to see how we get to respond to that today. So let me pray. And then we will jump into the story. Father, we thank you that you've given us your word and you get to speak to us.
God, I pray that you would help us be present this morning. You give us ears to hear and that we would respond, that you would go to work on our hearts. We ask this in Jesus' name. Amen. All right.
Verse 1 and 2. All right. So there are a lot of times that the Pharisees come at Jesus with some very weak accusations. I mean, they are grasping at straws. This is probably the one time where as you read it, you're like, wait a second. I mean, they actually might have a little bit of a case here.
The disciples are traveling through a grain field. They're plucking off grain heads as a snack on the Sabbath. And technically, you can make the case that that's harvesting. And harvesting is a work. And that's forbidden on the Sabbath. You go to the Ten Commandments in Exodus 20.
It says, remember the Sabbath day. This is the fourth commandment. To keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work. But the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God.
On it, I want you to hear this. The force of this. You shall not do any work, you or your son or your daughter, your male servant or your female servant or your livestock or the sojourner who is within your gates. For in six days, the Lord made the heavens and the earth and the sea and all that is in them and rested on the seventh day. Therefore, the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy. See, Sabbath was a very big deal.
As we walked through in Genesis a few years ago, God creates the world in six days. And on the seventh day, he rested. Not because he needs rest. God is infinite in power. He does not need rest. But what he was doing for his creation was showing you are created not to endlessly work, but you need to rest.
And ultimately, we need to rest in God. So he ingrains that into the rhythm of creation. And then what happens is, is when you fast forward a little bit, the people of God become slaves in Egypt. For 400 plus years, they are slaves and they work and work and work and they do not rest. There is no Sabbath for 400 plus years. That's a long time.
That's longer than we've been a nation. That's a long tradition of not resting at all. So when they come out of the promised land, when God redeems them in the wilderness, he starts to establish his law. And he makes it abundantly clear. You are not a slave to anyone else. You are my people.
And I've created you for rest. Your work is not what defines you. What you produce does not define you. I'm what define you. You will rest. And this gets cemented in the law.
And about that same time in Numbers 15, there's an instance where a man is collecting sticks on the Sabbath. He's working on the Sabbath. And they catch him. And Moses comes to God and he says, Lord, what do you want us to do? And the Lord says, take him outside the camp and stone him. I mean, it's a sharp punishment.
Because God in that moment is trying to make it abundantly clear to the people of God, you are created to rest in me. Now, that is what the law says. And what comes out of that over the next thousand years are sets of priests who are trying to understand the Sabbath. And what they do is they start to add regulations to it. I think at first it's an honorable reproach, right? You saw how strict it is in the law to rest.
But then you've got one set of priests who says, all right, you can't do this and you can't do that. And then the next generation says, you can't do this and you can't do that. This happens for about a thousand years. Generation after generation of priests who are adding regulations, who are putting more restrictions on the law, all the way until Jesus comes. And this continues even into today. I mean, I was in Jerusalem about a decade ago.
And I was in a hotel. And we were, I think we were on the seventh or eighth floor. And every time that it was Sabbath and you had to get up to your room on the eighth floor, it was super obnoxious. Because you get in the elevator and at every single floor it would open, close, open, close, open, close. Because if you pushed a button, that was considered work. So they have elevators specifically designed to stop at every floor.
And there are tons of rules like that even today. They just are absolutely, they have missed it completely. And at the time of Jesus, there's this long list of extra regulations. And here's what happens. At the time of Jesus, the Sabbath looks nothing like it was originally designed to be. It becomes this anxiety-filled set of requirements.
The people kind of a little bit nervously making sure they don't break any of these rules. That's the context of the Sabbath by the time it gets to Jesus. And the Pharisees, who do not have pure motives, they see this and they say, We got him. We got him. He's breaking the Sabbath. And they call him out.
And I want you to understand something. The Pharisees were very respected, honored, and a little bit feared by the people because of the power they held. So when they told people, You're breaking the Sabbath. The people stepped to. If you get called out for breaking the Sabbath, you straightened up and you did what you were supposed to do. So there's got to be a little bit of, Oh, we've got him right now.
He's going to straighten up. He's going to follow us. Jesus turns and immediately launches into five different defenses. And in these defenses, He absolutely, just completely dismantles their understanding of Sabbath. And really actually reveals who they are. That they have misunderstood the Sabbath for so long.
And not only that, they have used the Sabbath as a way to promote themselves as looking holy. They've used it for self-righteous gain. So, first defense, verse 3. He said to them, Have you not read what David did when he was hungry, those who were with him? How he entered the house of God and ate the bread of the presence, which is not lawful for him to eat, nor for those who were with him, but only for the priests. His first defense is, I am the king.
He launches into this kind of vague story from the Old Testament. He says, Oh, you're going to call us out? Let's go to 1 Samuel 21. And he references this story where David is on the run from his life from King Saul. He's on the run for his life. And then you can read the Psalms.
When he's on the run, they're hungry. They're thirsty. And he comes upon a priest named Ahimelech. And he asks him, Do you have any food? And Ahimelech says, No, the only food that we have is the bread, the show bread, the bread of the presence. And this was bread specifically as the Old Testament law outlines.
It was made holy as a presentation, but ultimately the only people who could eat it were the priests. So David says, Can we eat that bread? And Ahimelech gives him the bread and his men the bread. And guess what? Nowhere in that story or in the rest of the Old Testament are those actions condemned. Not one place.
Because David is unique. He is the anointed one. He is the Savior King. There's some priestly stuff that is built into that. So when he basically, what Jesus just said was, is that I'm the greater David.
That I'm the King. And because I'm the King, we will do as we please. Just as David took bread, we will take grain. And that's kind of an abrasive thing to say. I mean, you should try this. Go down to the Amazon Fulfillment Center, down 12th Extension Street, walk on in, and you try taking stuff off the shelves.
You try to take an inventory. And when somebody comes up to you and says, What are you doing? And you say, No, no, no. You don't understand. I know Jeff Bezos. I'm actually greater than your CEO.
The richest man in the world. I will take as I please. You will end up in jail. And you will look crazy. And that is the point. And what Jesus just said to the Pharisees looks absolutely crazy.
He says, I am the King. Not only that, I'm comparing myself to the greatest King in the history of Israel. And what I love is with each of these defenses, like he doesn't give any room for rebuttal. This is not a debate. This ends up being a monologue for about four different defenses. He launches from one straight into the next.
Second defense. Verse 5. Or have you not read in the law how on the Sabbath the priests and the temple profane the Sabbath and are guiltless? I tell you, something greater than the temple is here. His second defense is I am the greater temple. He says, Oh, I'm sorry.
Have you not read the Old Testament law that says that priests profane the Sabbath? They have to work on the Sabbath? He said, Y'all know that priests have to circumcise babies on the eighth day, even if it falls on the Sabbath. That's work. Y'all know that when they prepare the temple for worship, they're doing that on the Sabbath. They are working on the Sabbath.
So he makes that case from the text. And then he takes it a step further. And he says, I am the greater temple. Something greater than the temple is here. That's one thing to say, compare yourself to David. But the temple, man, that is the most sacred place for the people of God.
I mean, there's so much history and tradition and ritual that is bound up in the temple. I mean, to this day, there's only one wall remaining from that temple. And all around the world, Jews will travel to pray in front of this wall. They will cry in front of this wall. They will kiss this wall. And that represents how sacred this place was.
I want you to imagine for a second, for you Clemson fans, just take a moment and imagine this. One day, Dabo is going, he's going to leave. I know he's going to retire in 30 years, or he's going to leave for another school. That's up for debate. That's not the point. One day, he is going to leave.
And when he does, I want you to imagine something. A new coach comes in. He's got a press conference. That's right at Death Valley Stadium. I want you to imagine if he just went, Death Valley, the hill, Howard's Rock, someone greater is here. You would tear your orange.
Like you would be severely upset. That's a great overstatement. That takes something that is so sacred. Like I just, Jesus just elevated. He said, I am greater than the most sacred object, than the most revered place. In all of Israel.
I am the greater temple. And he doesn't stop. He keeps on going with his third defense. Verse 7, he says, And if you had known what this means, I desire mercy and not sacrifice. You would not have condemned the guiltless. His third defense is you don't get mercy.
You don't get it. Jesus starts quoting something that's actually going at the very heart of their character. He quotes Hosea 6.6. He did this back in chapter 9. But they still don't get it.
The Pharisees still don't understand what he's getting at. He says, You don't get mercy. You've used the law, and specifically, you've used the Sabbath as a means of showing yourself to be self-righteous. As a weapon against the people. You don't get mercy. And what he's doing here is a little bit of a rabbi teaching tool.
He quotes the first part of Hosea 6.6. I desire mercy and not sacrifice. But what happens is, and this is how rabbis would teach sometimes, they'll take the first part of that verse, but the second part, the context, is also included. So what he just said from Hosea 6.6 was, I desire mercy and not sacrifice. The knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings. What he just said was he went straight at their character and says, You don't know mercy, and you certainly don't know God.
You have rituals, you have sacrifices, you have burnt offerings, but you don't know God, and you don't know mercy. He goes directly at their character, which is a big deal even in our time. If you get into a debate with somebody, an argument, and it escalates, and eventually you start, you know, calling out each other's character, it gets heated. And we aren't even in a shame honor culture like theirs. In a shame honor culture, this is a huge deal. He did this to them, to their face.
He does it in front of all the people. He reveals who they are. You don't know God, and you certainly do not understand mercy. And he doesn't give them any room to respond. He goes straight into the fourth defense, verse 8. He says, For the Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath.
And this is my favorite one. His fourth defense is, I am Lord. He starts off with Son of Man, which is the, this is Daniel language, this is looking for the Messiah, elevating himself to God. Now, when later he's on trial, right before he is sentenced to death, he references Son of Man language, and they recognize exactly what he just said, that he compared himself to God. At that point, they tear their clothes. They call out for blasphemy.
So not only does he say, I'm the Son of Man, he says, I'm Lord of the Sabbath, which is the trump card. I remember when I was, we were kids, that we would get in arguments, we'd get in debates, and you'd do something like, I'm the smartest, and they would say, no, I'm ten times as smart. You'd say, no, I'm a hundred times smarter. And then eventually, if you learn this word, infinity, it changed the game. It's like, I'm the smartest times infinity. And they go, what?
Grab a Webster's, son, get schooled. It's endless. I win. It's the trump card. Jesus lays down the infinity card. I'm the Lord of the Sabbath.
I run these streets now. I am the Lord of the Sabbath. I'm the captain of it. I'm the one that says what goes. This is a group of people that held God's people in check with Sabbath regulations. They told people what they could and could not do.
And Jesus steps in and says, I'm the Son of Man. Not only that, I'm the Lord of the Sabbath. What I say goes. I mean, he says something so bold, right to their faces. And this is what I love. It's that, he just kind of walks right past them.
Because in verse 9, it says he went on from there and entered their synagogue. And it's, this is like, he walks right past them and they're just like, wait, no, we got things to say. He just doesn't even listen. He walks straight into, catch this, their synagogue. Y'all, this, this is where they used to preach every week. This is where they used to teach the people.
This is where they were honored. He walks into their synagogue and he's about to lay down his fifth defense. This is kind of like Michael Jordan showing up to the elementary school, dunking on the school kids. I mean, he, he comes out of their court, their territory, and he launches into his fifth defense. Starts in verse 10. And a man was there with a withered hand and they asked him, is it lawful to heal on the Sabbath so that they might accuse him?
He said to them, which one of you has a sheep if it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will not take hold of it and lift it out? Of how much more value is a man than a sheep? So he walks into their synagogue. He finds a man with a withered hand, knowing good and well what's about to happen. This is what I love, is that they, he just absolutely took it to them for four different defenses and they come inside and they think, oh, we're going to get them now. It's like, y'all don't learn this.
It's not going to end well for you. And they walk up to him and they're ready to catch him. And what Jesus does, he senses this and he quotes something. He says, which one of you has a sheep if it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will take hold of it, will not take hold of it and lift it out? What he just referenced was a very common debate at the time amongst Pharisees and Sadducees and the religious leadership in Israel. You see, because they had such intense Sabbath regulations, this was an ethical question that was asked, that was debated.
What do you do if an animal falls into a pit on the Sabbath? Now, there's a few hardliners that said, it dies. You don't want them watching your pets. And there was a couple other ones that would say, no, that's a little harsh. We can put some food in there. We'll come back on the next day and we'll get it.
The rest of them said, no, that's crazy. Let's look at the rest of the Old Testament law. No, God values life. So the overwhelming majority opinion to this ethical question that Jesus just referenced was, no, you save the animal. Go in and get the sheep. You can break a little bit of Sabbath work to save life.
And what Jesus just does, he takes that debate, he puts it front and center and then he says of how much more value is a man than a sheep. And what he just did was, he said, you, it's understood that you'll go in and you'll save something that has material value but you look at a man who has a withered hand and say, no, no, not him. He calls them out. Men and women are made in the image of God. They have value and you don't get it. You'd rather save your material possessions than actually help people.
You have completely missed the boat. So he says, so it is lawful to do good on the Sabbath. And he said to the man, stretch out your hand. So the man has some type of withered hand, probably has it his entire life. And he says, stretch out your hand. And when he stretched out his hand, it was completely restored.
His entire life. All right? The stigma of being disabled in this culture and everything that goes along with that. Not be able to work like he wants to. Jesus shows mercy and his hand was restored healthy like the other one. But I want you to see the response here.
Verse 14. It says, but the Pharisees went out and conspired against him how to destroy him. I mean, Jesus displays this unbelievable act of mercy. This unbelievable act of God and healing. And their response is, he is too dangerous. We are going to destroy him.
We are going to kill him and destroy his movement. What a sharp contrast. It is at this point forward, there are two completely different roads. There is the road that Jesus is going to take and that is one that is lined with mercy. And there is one that the Pharisees are going to take and it is one that is completely marked by self-righteousness. These are two different groups.
These are two different faiths and understanding of who God is. Jesus being the perfect embodiment of mercy and them being the prime example of what it looks like to be self-righteous. And honestly, when you look at it from our position, that is the same choice today. Oftentimes, for those of us, especially in the church, we struggle with mercy and what comes with that and self-righteousness. So I want to actually flesh this out for a moment.
I think it is helpful for us to look and examine ourselves and see kind of which avenue we are going down, mercy or self-righteousness. So, I am going to walk through a few different categories of what this looks like. Starting with self-righteousness. You have good works versus grace. Good works says that I earn God's favor. I earn God's favor.
That by my good works, I can do enough to overcome all the bad. That I can do enough to actually earn God's favor. And there is this striving to continue to impress God. That is what good works that comes from self-righteousness looks like. That I earn God's favor. Grace says God's favor is freely given to me.
When you understand grace that comes from a God of mercy, you get it. It is like, there is not enough good I can do to overcome all of the evil that I am and that I have done. I have no chance outside the grace of God. These are two different paths. Another way of looking at that of good works is I have checked all the boxes which especially if you grew up in the church, that is a big one. I mean, if you grew up in the church, especially going consistently, you went on Sundays, maybe Sunday nights, maybe you were there on Wednesdays, maybe you did VBS, you did all the camps.
I learned a thing a couple years ago, it was called Baptist Allstate. Actually, our pastor Matt Freeman heads it up. I was like, man, these are the all-star kids, right? He's like, no, it's just a worship thing. There is all kinds of things you could have done growing up, checking all the boxes and what happens is is that you can confuse the fact that you're checking boxes, it's this thing and this thing and this thing and this thing and you can confuse that these are supposed to be things that grow you and shape you and mold you to be more like Jesus and you can think, oh, if I do all the things, then I'll be okay.
And then as you get older, it's serving on Sundays, it's doing all the things that you can be involved in, it's going and going and going and the reality is there aren't enough boxes to check. It's understanding that Jesus actually checks all the boxes for us. That by His grace, we are completely covered. Good work says that I can't ever fail, that it's on me, I have to succeed. Grace that comes from mercy says it is okay to fail. It's okay to fail.
That I have His blood that covers me, that His power is made perfect in weakness. That's one way of looking at it. The second way of looking at it is performance versus obedience. Performance that comes from self-righteousness says I obey, therefore, I'm accepted. That I do the things that I'm supposed to do, then I'll be accepted by God, but not only that, I'll be accepted by other people. And if you struggle with that, with some form of idolatry, of approval, you will do, you will do, you will strive, you will strive, and it will never actually be enough.
No, obedience that comes from mercy says I'm accepted, therefore, I obey. Because what God has done for me, because Jesus redeemed me, I'm accepted, therefore, I can walk in obedience. Performance says my good works earn me praise. That so much of the good that you do is so you can be seen by others, so that others will see your good works, that you will get the comment that says, man, thank you so much, you did such a good job, and you were living for the praise of others. Obedience that comes from mercy says my good works are actually worship. My good works are the way that I honor God.
God has poured out His life for me. My only response is that I'm His and that I believe that He's better than everything else. And when He says don't do these things and do these things, I get to worship God in my obedience. It is a response. I give you one more category that comes from self-righteousness is pride versus humility that comes from mercy. Pride versus humility.
Pride says it is never enough. It is never enough. You will work and you will strive and you will struggle and you will do whatever it takes and it is never enough. And humility says no, Jesus is enough. He's enough. I don't have to earn His favor because of everything that God has done for me.
Out of humility I say no, He is enough. Pride also says that I am my only hope. Maybe you have had that thought that it's on me. I'm my only hope. I'm the one that has to get this figured out. I'm the one that has to do all the work.
And humility says no, Jesus is my only hope. That I am absolutely hopeless without Him. When you walk this out and there's a bunch of different ways to walk this out, it is clear there are two different paths. There's one that is merciful and there's one that is marked by self-righteousness. And from this point forward in the Gospel of Matthew, these are the two different roads. And Matthew highlights the difference so clearly in this story by how he closes it out.
In verse 15 it says, Jesus aware of this withdrew from there and many followed Him and He healed them all in order not to make Him known. This was to fulfill what was spoken by the prophet Isaiah. So Jesus is healing. He's doing His thing sometimes where He heals them and says, don't say anything about this. And what Matthew does a few times in his Gospel is he quotes these long Old Testament quotes. This one's from Isaiah to help us see who Jesus is, to help Him see that He's the Messiah, to help us see different parts of how He saves and that He is God.
And it is this quote that really helps Mark the difference between Jesus and the Pharisees. verse 18 says, Isaiah says, Behold, my servant whom I have chosen, my beloved with whom I am well pleased. I put my spirit upon him. That is a picture of what happens at His baptism. The spirit comes upon him and He will proclaim justice to the Gentiles. That is you and me. Everyone that is not Jewish.
That His ultimate goal is not just the people of God. It's all nations, all peoples, everywhere. Verse 19, He will not quarrel or cry aloud, nor will anyone hear His voice in the streets. That's a little bit of a picture of what He just did. He's healing people. He's telling them, don't say a word.
And then I want you to absolutely absorb these next few verses. I want you to sit in this. Verse 20, A bruised reed He will not break. And a smoldering wick He will not quench until He brings justice to victory. And in His name, the Gentiles will hope. And man, that is where you see how good and merciful and gentle our Savior is.
A bruised reed He will not break. Reed grass, you may be familiar with it. We see it sometimes at the coast. It's the grass that just blows in the air. It's not very strong. And He says even more so, a bruised reed that's even more weak is a bruised reed.
He's not going to break. That if you have brokenness in your life, if you are struggling with sin, He's not going to break you. He's going to hold you. How gentle and loving of a picture of a Savior that we have that a bruised reed He's not going to break. And then it says a smoldering wick He will not quench. He's got this flame that it's flickering that it's getting ready to go out and He's not going to smother it.
He's going to take care of it. Maybe that's you that for you faith just feels like a flicker. Maybe you're in a season where it's so difficult right now. It's so difficult to see past all the trials past all of your sin past all of your brokenness and you just feel like it's just a flicker. And Jesus is so gentle and it's His picture that He's going to take care of us. It's not going to snuff us out.
And this picture of how gentle our Savior is has been so good for me. The last six months has been it's been difficult. I feel like following Jesus I've been following Jesus for over a decade and I feel like there's seasons where people ask me are you good? And I'm like yeah and I really am. And I'm like man I'm doing pretty good and I almost sometimes I think I've arrived almost. I'm progressing and then all of a sudden just pulls back the floorboards and I'm like oh dang there's a whole lot of sin and a whole lot of idolatry.
I mean this this happens. That's why Paul when he writes his letters early on in one of his earliest letters he says I'm the least of the apostles. And then you go a little bit later in his letters and one of them he says I am the the least of the saints of the Christians. And in one of his final letters he says I'm the chief of sinners. And it's like did he get more sinful as he got older? No.
But what he did see is more of the glory of God and more of his holiness and he saw more of his sin. And I'm in a season where I'm seeing so much idolatry and sin beneath the surface and I stumble upon verses like this that show me how gentle and loving our God is. He's been so good as I've journeyed through this in his word and in prayer. But about a few months ago I got to hear this song. It's a song called Relent. It's by a group called Citizens.
I've sang a few other songs even this morning. And it has been so helpful and so good when I stumbled upon this because it spoke to me so clearly in this season. So I want you to hear this. If you're in a season of brokenness of struggling with sin of struggling with pain I want you to so clearly hear the words from this song. He says if I gain the world would it be worth the price to work these hands to death and not be satisfied. And you'll feel that?
That you're working that you're striving working yourself to death you're not satisfied. He says if every effort brought another sleepless night I'd be so tired. And if that was the only hope we would strive and we would go and we would go and there'd be only anxiousness only sleeplessness we would be left absolutely tired. but then he gets to the gospel and the chorus and when I heard this it absolutely just wrecked me. He says I relent there is nothing for me here you can have it all this life is not my own you give life that is worth the loss of mine I surrender all I have to follow you.