Anger
Transcript
Anger is a big issue. For many of us, it's devastatingly bad. It's not good for us. You're sitting in traffic. On your way home, you're in traffic. It's bumper to bumper.
No one's going anywhere. You don't know if it's a wreck. You don't know if it's construction. You don't know if it was construction that caused a wreck. You don't know. How are you doing?
How's your little heart doing right now? Some of you are like, I'm fine. So there's a side area here. And somebody behind you thinks nobody's using that lane that isn't a road. I'll give it a shot. And so they just take off.
And you're like, okay, no. Rules? We can't do that? And then they get up to the front there. And you know what they do? They put on their blinker.
And do you know what that idiot does that's right there next to on the blinker? They're like, oh, come on over. You accidentally got on the part of the road that wasn't road? Hop on in here. And then 1,700 people behind you see that. And they're like, ah, new lane.
You know, how you doing? How's your steering wheel doing? Like, okay, you're in your fourth hour of Monopoly. And you've been losing money for the last hour and a half to your smug uncle. How's it going? How's the rest of family vacation going to go?
Like, how are you doing? How's your heart? How are you responding? You're in the hallway at school and find out that someone's been telling things about you that aren't true. And they're all up in your business when they shouldn't be. And they have a lot to say about you when they shouldn't have a lot to say about you.
How are you doing? How do you handle that? How do you approach that? You're in a business meeting at work. And your boss just derides you. Just takes a shot at you.
Just because he's in a position of authority and he can get away with it. He just calls you out on something. How do you respond? So are you the type of person, do you yell? Do you fight back? Do you throw punches?
Is that you? Like, is that how you respond to those situations? Are you the person that's likely for you to throw a thing and yell? Like, are you a words person? So you're consistently in arguments and you watch words fly out of your mouth that you're like, I mean, we're like heat-seeking missiles.
And sometimes, depending on the relationship you have with the person, you're going, oh, get back in my mouth. Like, but is that how you respond? Are you a note writer? Do you blast off emails? Yelp? Are you yelping people?
Like, is that you? Are you no external response whatsoever? You nod, you smile, and you mentally eviscerate someone. And the best part about that is you'll get in a conversation with someone you don't like. And they'll be talking to you. And the whole time you go, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
And, I mean, you're destroying them. And then when they walk away, you know what you say to yourself? That person's so fake. Yeah. But what about, are you the person who five hours later is like, oh, that's what I should have said.
God, when I flipped over the Monopoly board, I should have said, at least I'm not going bald, Uncle Carl. Like, is that you? Are you internally processing anger all the time when you get mad? Does it mess you up for the rest of the day? You losing sleep at night? You messed up for a week?
You're the type of person who's like, I've been mad at the same person since third grade. Yeah. Yeah. I know how to hold a grudge. Like, is that you? Like, when you get angry, it's forever?
See, anger is an issue. And here's the thing. Everybody gets angry. Everybody gets angry. The question is, are you processing externally or are you processing internally? Because if you're an external anger processor, you know, and the people around you know.
If you, if you're a, if you verbally or physically process your anger, if you're the person who's likely to kick whatever is near you, you know, and the people around you know. And you're in here going, yeah, okay. I'm kind of mad right now that we're talking about this, but all right, this is me. See, some of you internal anger processor people, no one around you knows, and there's potential that you don't even know. You think because you don't act out on your anger that somehow it's not the same, but you are acting out on your anger. You're avoiding conversations.
You're not responding to phone calls. You're treating people differently. You're mentally going through how you're going to harm them or what you should have said to them or you're rehearsing murder in your head. Like you, like you have a mental list of who's on your top 10 if we decide to do the purge. Like that's, that's you. And that's destroying you.
The one psychologist said that internally processing anger is like having a trash can catch on fire at your house. So you stick it in a closet. That's, it's going to cause problems later. That didn't solve it. So are you internally or externally processing anger?
Because you have anger, you're going to get angry. Everybody gets angry. What are we doing with it? You see, in this series, our goal is that we believe that Jesus has set us free. That he has given us joy. That he has made us new.
And that we, for so many of us, have gotten used to sins that we've acted like have become normal or okay. So that if you, if you talk to your group and you text and say, yeah, I'm really struggling with anger. It's like, yeah, we'll pray for you. And it's become an acceptable thing. And it's robbing you of joy. And it's harming your relationship with Jesus.
And we've just gotten used to it. So our goal in this series is to, to engage with our sin, our struggle, the things we've grown used to that are robbing us of joy. And actually begin to process. The point isn't, let's just talk about anger. And I'm going to give you five steps on how to take deep breaths and say things like, in with the butterflies, out with the bees. Like, we're not doing that.
We're not, this isn't count to ten stuff or go punch a pillow. We actually want Jesus to change us. We want him to go to work in our hearts. That's the goal of this series. That's the point of this series. Because anger is an issue.
I've got a couple of Proverbs. I'm going to show you Proverbs is just wisdom literature. We're going to spend most of our time in James. So we're going to run through a few Proverbs just to try to help us see how the Bible talks about anger. A man of quick temper, this is Proverbs 14, 17. A man of quick temper Acts foolishly.
And a man of evil devices is hated. Proverbs 14, 29. Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding. But he who has a hasty temper exalts folly. Exalts means you lift up. Folly means foolishness.
Have you ever gotten mad and then later in the day when you calmed down a little bit, you were like, man, I acted like a fool earlier. Yes, that's because you were a fool earlier. Your anger took control of you and you exalted folly. You said, hey, you want to see some nonsense? And then lost it on people around you. Proverbs 29, 22 says, a man of wrath stirs up strife.
And one given to anger causes much transgression. If anger is a normal pattern for you, transgression means sin. Which means that your anger on a regular basis is leading you to sin. Proverbs 29, 11. A fool gives full vent to his spirit. But a wise man quietly holds it back.
We kind of have in psychology, there's this, oh, you just need to vent your anger. You just need to, if you get angry, you just got to find a way to vent it, to let it out. If you got a little bit of fire, just add a bunch of oxygen to it. No. That's what fools do. We actually, we don't want to just learn some little techniques for causing it to be a little bit okay.
The goal isn't to manage our anger issues. The goal is to get rid of them. And for those of you who are internal processors, who, nobody knows you're angry. Proverbs at one point says that bitterness is only known to the soul. Meaning that if you're bitter, you may be the only person who knows. Hebrews 12 says that bitterness is like a bitter root that defiles everything, that makes everything, poisons everything else around it.
So you can have a pool of water, and if there's a bitter root going in, it can make the water undrinkable. And it's saying that's what bitterness is doing in your soul. Anger is an issue. It's a problem. But luckily, Jesus helps.
So I'm going to pray for our time this morning, for our week ahead as we and our community groups walk through this. And then we'll turn to James. God, we thank you that anger does not have to destroy us. That we do not have to be controlled by our internal tendencies. We don't have to be controlled by our family heritage. That we don't have to be controlled by our past bad decisions.
We thank you that you went to work on all of those in the cross. We pray, Lord, that you'd help us repent. You'd help us to see our anger. See the root of our anger. And find freedom in you. We ask that in Jesus' name.
Amen. Turn to James chapter 4. We'll have a few times where we'll show another verse on Scripture, but the rest of the day will be in James chapter 4. It's on page 655 if you have a blue and white Bible. If you don't own a Bible, take this one with you. We want you to own a Bible.
We want you to read it. Everything we do comes from this. So we want you reading this as much as possible. We are pro-Bible around here. James chapter 4, verse 1. What causes quarrels?
It's arguments. And what causes fights among you? Okay, so here's how James starts. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. What's up? What's causing the problem?
Why is there a hole in your drywall? What has made you foster a bad attitude and bitterness towards someone for the past three months? What's at work there? That's what he's starting off with. He's run into his kids beating the snot out of each other. He's jerked them apart and said, okay, what started this?
What's the problem here? That's what he's doing for the church. He's saying, okay, what's causing y'all to get in fights? Y'all to be in arguments? What's at work here? Now, I love his answer.
Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? It's asked a question, but he's giving us the answer there. It's one of those questions where you don't have to answer. Here's why I love that. If I went to your house and said, why is there a hole in the drywall? Or if we were friends or we're in the same community group and I said, why are you, why have you not talked to this person for two months?
Why are you consistently running through your head how terrible they are? Why are you building up this bitterness in your soul? Why are you in the fight? Why are you in this argument? Why did you do this to your steering wheel? Why are you cussing at people that you don't know in traffic?
If I ask those questions, you know what our answer is? Well, they did this. They said that. You would not believe how my boss treats me. You don't even understand what's happened in class. You have no clue what my coach is like.
You don't know what my spouse is like. If you had my children, do you know what your answer is? Do you know what James says? Isn't the issue you? Now, if we have anger issues, let's all just take a second and be really mad at James. Because he just said, isn't the problem you?
Isn't the issue in your heart? Isn't it your passions? Aren't you the issue? We said last week that we have three enemies and that we're going to talk through as we walk through all of these different lusts and anxiety and self-loathing that we always at play are three enemies. And we said the main one is the flesh. That's us.
That's what James starts off with. Aren't you the problem? Okay. Let's keep going. Let's figure out what he's talking about here.
Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. Okay. The word passions in the Bible is most often used. So we talk about like, oh, I'm passionate and I have a passion for animals.
And that's why I give money to PETA. And I have a passion for turtles or I have passion for cars. Like we use it as like this, like good thing. The Bible doesn't use it that way. The Bible uses it as inordinate love. Love, desire that's been set loose.
So what he's starting off by saying is the issue with your anger is your love. That's the issue. That's the problem. You see, the Bible does not flat out say that anger by itself is a problem. It does not treat anger that way. So maybe you've been in a church before where it was taught you should never get angry.
And if you at any point get angry, you're wrong. The problem with that is, is that God gets angry. You see, the goal of anger, Christian anger, the Christian ethic towards anger is not stoicism. It's not to be completely disconnected from our attitudes and our passions. It's actually to have slow anger. So Proverbs 16, 32 says this.
Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty. And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city. So the point of anger is not to vent it out. And the point of anger is to not ever get angry. The point, the goal for anger is that you'd be really slow to get angry. But there should be times that you get angry.
Should be. It is appropriate to get angry. Anger is the appropriate response to certain things. God gets angry at sin. God gets angry at wickedness. When we hear about sex trafficking, when we see the injustice in the United States, when we see children neglected or abused, we should get angry.
That's an appropriate response. We should have sorrow. We should have sadness in the midst of that. But anger is an appropriate response. God has righteous anger towards sin. And completely never having anger is actually inappropriate.
It means that we're apathetic or we're indifferent to the things that God loves. Now, I want to push you in two areas on this. One, if you're the type of person who says, I never get angry. That's not Christ-like. Jesus gets angry towards sin and injustice, and it propels him to action. The Bible uses the term zeal for that.
It's like an anger, a righteous anger that leads to correct action. So I want to push you a little bit. If you're like, I never get angry, it actually means that you don't love some of the things that you should love. Anger is the appropriate response when something we love is attacked. Like, if you tried to assault my family, my appropriate response would not be, hey, you're hurting them. Take it easy.
That would not be appropriate. That would be bad husbanding and fathering. The appropriate response would be to do what I did when I was little, which is punch you and then figure it out from there. I don't, maybe not, don't quote me on that. The appropriate response would be to stop you from harming my family. Let's go with that.
I want to retract what I just said because sometimes I say things that I probably shouldn't. So, I should get angry. You should, if someone, you should hate cancer. If it's actively at work destroying people in your family, you should hate the tumor that's growing in your grandfather's brain. You should hate it and want to do something about it. We should hate injustice.
Being apathetic allows evil to grow. Allows it to fester. This is an indifference towards what is unjust is the issue that the white church had in the South during the Jim Crow South era, during the segregation, during the civil rights movement, where many of us just sat by and said, let's just, let's wait it out. It should be an anger towards injustice, a desire to fix what is wrong. So, I want to push you a little bit. If you're never angry, you should be.
Sometimes. Now, most of us, that's not our problem. It was not righteous anger that made you say that to your children. It was not righteous anger that put a hole in your drywall. It is not righteous anger that is keeping you from talking to someone you should have had a conversation with two months ago. That's not our issue.
So, don't right now begin to try to hide your anger in the righteous category. Don't do that. You're incorrect. We should be angry about appropriate things that lead us to, but the issue is our love is disordered. That's what he's saying. He says, your passions are at war within you.
Augustine, who was an African pastor in about 300 AD, so a couple hundred years after Jesus, he says that our major issue is that we have disordered love. Which means that what we care about is all out of order. When we're supposed to love God as supreme, we're supposed to trust him and love him and find all of the good things from him. We put something else in his place. That we love money more. We love our fame more.
We love our popularity more. We love being in control more. And we love having a good schedule more. We love having comfort more. And what happens is that we take bad things we shouldn't love and we love them. But the bigger issue is that we take, and what happens more often, is that we take good things and love them too much.
There's nothing wrong with comfort. There's nothing wrong with popularity. But we've shifted it and we love it too much. You see, we are reacting in anger when something attacks what we love. Our passions are at war within us and our response when things are threatened is to be angry. This is why.
You can hear about starvation across the globe. You can hear about the issues that are happening in Aleppo right now. You can hear about sex trafficking across the globe. And you can think, man, that's terrible. That's terrible. You can be angry.
You can be upset. But if a friend forgets to invite you to a party, or someone says something disrespectful about you, or you get a poor work review from a boss who's an idiot, you lose sleep at night. This is why when someone snubs us, we are a hundred times more angry than we are about global injustice. Because our love is out of whack. What we care about is disordered. You tracking with him so far?
The reason we're fighting is because our passions are all out of order. We love things that we shouldn't love too much. Okay. So that's the point he's making. That we've begun to love something that we shouldn't love. We're building our life on things and because we love them, we're defending them.
And that's what's causing our anger. You can actually, you can, if you had a rope tied to your anger, most of what we've been trying to say is like you should control the anger. But actually what he's saying is follow the other end of the rope and see what it is you love. Follow the rope down and see what you love. See what it is you're defending. See what it is you're protecting.
All right. Let's keep going. Let's pick back up in verse two. You desire and do not have so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask.
Okay. So what he just said was some of you, the things you're pursuing, you hadn't even prayed about. Like you don't have them because you never asked for them. You never prayed about them. And so immediately a lot of us just went jackpot. Sweet.
I didn't realize I could just ask for this stuff. Like I thought I had to get out there and get on my grind and my hustle and I had to I had to make this work. But like I didn't realize I could just pray about it. Sweet. All right.
Let's keep going because he's he's got a caveat to that. You ask and do not receive because you ask wrongly to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people. He said, OK, some of you have been praying about this a lot and you haven't gotten it. And some of you right now, maybe you're in that situation. You've been praying about something.
You've been praying about something. You've been praying about something. You've been asking for health. You've been asking for your finances to work out. You've been asking for this promotion. You've been asking for that husband.
You've been asking for that wife. You've been asking for your kids to work out. You've been asking for. And you're going, I don't know. I don't know if he's going to answer. I don't know if prayer works.
I'm thinking about giving up this whole thing. And what he just said was, no, the reason you're asking is because you love that too much. And then he says, you adulterous people. That felt a little harsh. That took a cheap shot. It's not.
Here's why he brings up adultery. You're supposed to love God primarily above all else. See, it'd be like if I came to my wife and I said, you know, when we got married and we said, it'd just be us and that I would do everything I could to honor you and to love you and to please you and that you would do the same for me. And that we're supposed to find our enjoyment in each other sexually. Well, here's what I was thinking. One of the ways that you can help me enjoy myself sexually is to talk to your friend and convince her to have sex with me.
James just said that's some of your prayer life. Jesus, I need you to go to work for what I really care about. I need you to get out there and give me what I really desire. I need you to get out there and get for me what I really want, what will actually fill me up, what will actually make me happy. And if you're not willing to do that, I'm not sure you love me. You adulterous people, that's what James says.
You love things you shouldn't love, your hearts are out of order, and you're mad because you're not getting the things you shouldn't get anyway. See, our anger has to do with what we love. Our love is defending. Our anger is defending what we actually care about. Let's keep going.
You adulterous people, it's verse 4, do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore, whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Okay, so what he just said was, you remember we said we had three enemies? The flesh, the world, and the devil. Those are the three enemies we have. So he's already gotten us to the second one.
He said, okay, the biggest issue is that you love things you shouldn't love. And then he says, what you love is out there in the world. So what you're praying about is the perfect Job, the perfect spouse, the perfect amount of wealth, this amount of money in the bank, this type of health, this type of situation, to have this kind of popularity, to have this kind of recognition, to have this kind of fame, to have this type of comfort, this kind of control over your situation. And what he's saying is you've fallen in love with a bunch of things that aren't worth loving. Not as much as you love them.
When you fall in love with the world, you put God as your enemy. Verse 5. Or do you suppose it is for no purpose that the scripture says he yearns jealously over the spirit he has made to dwell in us? So he says, okay, you realize that that was in there on purpose, right? When he says he yearns jealously for the spirit he's made to dwell in us. What he's talking about is, so this trips people up sometimes, that God would be jealous of you, and he's not.
He's jealous for you. So I told you I had anger issues, and when I get upset I can't talk. So let me explain one of the ways this has played out. My wife and I started dating when we were in high school. We had a class together. And we were, for some reason, like we had to go to an assembly or something, and so we're sitting in the gym.
There's a bunch of people around, and there was a guy in our class who was very popular, very well-liked, and was very flirty. And so he was talking to Anna, who was my girlfriend. We'd only been dating for like two months or something. And while they're talking, like, they're talking. He's being hilarious and charming and funny. And, like, I'm becoming increasingly displeased with how this is playing out, but it's like, whatever.
Sitting that big a deal. I'm sitting next to her, so it's like this cat, you know, I go so far with this. Like, I mean, while they're talking, he reaches up and does the, like, movie brush your hair back thing on her. I don't think I said anything. Mostly what I did, because I remember I said I would hit people and not think about it. Mostly what I did, and I had been growing in this, mostly what I did was control myself.
Which means I think I got really twitchy. Like, he touched her, and my response was, and, like, I just looked at him. All I remember is that everyone who was near him slid away on the bleachers. Now, let me explain to you. I was not jealous of her. I did not think I want him to touch my hair.
God is not jealous of you. He's not sitting in heaven saying, I wish I was wrapped up in thinking that sex was the best thing on earth. He's not up in heaven saying, I wish I was super caring about wealth. I wish I had gotten my whole self wrapped up in popularity and how much people like me. He's not jealous of you. He's jealous for you.
You see, we'd only been dating about two months, but when he touched her, I thought I should strangle him. Because I'm jealous for her. I care about her. I love her. And if anybody else wants to try to take her from me, that's going to be a problem. And see, Jesus cares about you.
He loves you. And when you start chasing after all these other things and you start defending them with your anger, he's jealous for you. He wants to step in and he wants to rescue and redeem. And he wants to snatch the garbage out of your hand that you think will satisfy you. And he wants to give you what actually will, which is himself. Jesus is so jealous for you that the cross stands as the centerpiece of history.
That he was unwilling to let us, he was unwilling to stand by while we chased for things that would never fix us or satisfy us. So much so that he left eternity, left heaven, and came to take on suffering and sorrow and death on our behalf so that we can have what actually matters. See, our anger betrays in us that we love something far more than we ought to. And Jesus loves you enough to go to work on your anger. And to go to work on your rampant passions. And to set you free.
Verse 5, we just read it. Or you suppose it is for no purpose that the scripture says he yearns jealously over the spirit that he's made to dwell in us. 6, but he gives more grace. Grace just is unmerited favor. That what Jesus accomplishes for us was not earned by us. But he gives more grace.
Therefore, it says, God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and he will draw near to you. Okay. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
It feels like that just came out of nowhere. It's like we're talking about anger. Why did the devil just show up? James has, in this passage, clearly identified our three enemies. He says, isn't the problem you? Isn't the problem that you love things you shouldn't love?
And isn't the devil involved in this? That's how anger works. That's how, like, all three are involved. Paul does the same thing when he's talking about anger. He says this in Ephesians chapter 26, 27. No, not chapter 26.
Chapter 4, verses 26 and 27. Paul says this. Be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger and give no opportunity to the devil. So Paul says be angry.
Like, you're going to be angry sometimes and there are some things you should be angry about. Don't sin. Don't act on your anger. And then he says don't let the sun go down on your anger. Don't let the sun set on your anger. Give no opportunity to the devil.
Some versions will say give no foothold. So if it says foothold, if I'm trying to scale a mountain, all I need is a foothold. Just somewhere to put the tip of my toe. And then I need to find somewhere to get my hand. And then I can scale an entire mountain if I can find enough footholds. What he's saying is that when you let your anger fester, the devil gets to go to work.
He gets to, when you don't quickly get rid of your anger, when you don't quickly repent, when you don't quickly reconcile with people, you're giving opportunity for the devil to hop in and go to work on your anger. So here are things he does. He comes along and says stuff like, they're the ones who's wrong. You don't need to talk to them. They need to come talk to you. They need to call you.
And then when they call, it's like you don't even pick up right now. They don't need to talk to them. They need to fix this. He goes to work in fostering bitterness. When we let anger stay overnight with us, we've given a foothold to the enemy. And so really what he's saying is realize the enemy is involved in your anger and be quick to not allow him to be.
Resist him. He'll flee from you. Which means you don't have to be amazing. You don't have to be awesome. But you just get to realize that he's at work and you can stand firm.
And you don't get to have a place in my anger. You don't get to be a part of it. So here's what we're going to do. Coming out of the back end of this, I'm actually going to go back up. I just want us to see three things that we need to do to process through our anger that James gives us. Three steps that we need to take.
And then we're going to spend a little bit of time talking about what actually makes that work. Because if you just take these steps, it's not going to do anything. But you've got to take these steps and then actually we'll talk about what catalyzes that, what makes it effective. Okay? So that's what we're doing.
First thing is, go back to verse, it's just one verse up from where we just were. Seven. Submit yourselves therefore to God. Okay, so that's the first thing you have to do is submit to God. This really means two things when it comes to anger. You need to admit you're angry.
You see, angry by its very nature wants to hide. It wants to blame it on someone else. It wants to act like, no, no, no, I'm just passionate. Yeah, that's what James says. Are you passionate about things you shouldn't be? Or I just speak my mind.
Or I'm just Italian. I had somebody say that one time. Like, I'm Italian so I yell. It's like, what? That's not how that works. Be a Christian and repent.
How about that? Like, submit yourself. Admit you're angry. Admit that the hole in your drywall didn't get there magically. Admit that the two-month-long attitude you've had towards somebody has been growing. Admit that you're angry.
Admit that this is an issue for you. Submit to him. What it basically means is turn yourself in. Go to God and say, I can't. Like, you've got to help me. I can't fix this on my own.
Counting to 10 has not stopped working. I started counting to 20. And then I got to 100. And like, I need you to go to work in my anger. The second thing that you're doing when you submit to God is this. You're submitting the results to God.
Meaning that for many of us, you're saying, I can't let go of my anger. They actually stole from me. They actually took from me. You don't know what they did to me. You don't know what growing up in my house was like. You don't understand.
You don't understand how they've treated us. You don't understand how he speaks to me. Yeah. Yeah, don't. Many people might not. You might be the person in this room who's coming from the absolute worst situation.
But I know two things. God knows your situation. And God joined you in it when he went to the cross. And God takes up the sword. He says that vengeance is his. You have to submit the outcome to him.
Because some of you are angry because it's what keeps you protected. It's what makes you feel safe. Some of you are angry because you've got to bring justice and vengeance on those who've harmed you. And no, it's not yours. It's not yours to do. It's Jesus's.
God has righteous wrath towards sin. Those who have harmed you. Those who have sinned against you. Those who abused you. Those who have mistreated you. Those who have spoke evil to you.
Those who have taken from you. Yes, God has righteous wrath towards sin. The cross makes that clear. Sinners do not get to go free. Sin will be dealt with and paid for. But here's what the cross does.
It means that either Jesus will pay for our sin. Or we will pay for our sin. But sin will be dealt with. And one of the things you have to do if you're angry. And you're angry for some correct reasons. People have actually harmed you.
You've got to submit that to God and say, I'm angry. And I won't be free until I can trust that you'll go to work. That you'll either give them grace, which they don't deserve, which I don't deserve. Or you'll punish them for their sin. But I trust that you're going to be the one who takes up the sword.
If there was no judgment at the back of this book. If Jesus did not show up and make people pay for sin. Then we would have to make people pay for sin. But because he is the righteous judge over the universe, we don't get to be. First thing we have to do is submit. To lay it all down, you have to admit you're angry.
And you have to understand that he gets to work out the results. This is verse 7. Submit yourself. 8. Draw near to God and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners.
2. You need to repent of sin. Here's what I mean. Being angry. If you just get angry about something. You can be angry and not sin.
You can be angry and be slow to anger. You can be angry and like what Paul says. Be angry and don't sin. You can do that. But when you've been angry and you have sinned, we need to cleanse our hands.
Meaning we need to make restitution. We need to have some conversations. We need to apologize and repent to those in our family. Some of you are going to need to sit down with your spouse and say, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the stuff I've said to you. I'm angry.
I need Jesus to change me, but I'm sorry. Some of you have said some things to your children, to your spouse, to your friends. It's going to be very difficult for them to forget. Very difficult for them to continue with. And you're going to need to repent. Some of you have physically harmed someone.
Some of you have been not answering a phone call or avoiding someone. Or when you see them, maybe even here in your community group, you just don't talk to them. Or you keep it real short, but you're tearing them up in your head. You need to repent. You need to go to them and say, I'm wrong. I'm sorry.
I've been treating you poorly. I need your forgiveness. We need to cleanse our hands. Thirdly, we need to examine our hearts. So he says, cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
Rather than trying to control our anger, we need to follow the rope the other way. We need to figure out what it is we love. Psalm 4 says this, and we'll have it on screen. It's what Paul quotes earlier. Be angry and do not sin. Ponder in your own hearts on your beds and be silent.
Offer right sacrifices and put your trust in the Lord. We need to do what the psalmist says. We need to do what James says, which is actually look at our hearts and begin to ask, what is it I love too much? That's what our inventories are this week for our anger series. There's the Killjoy books that are out in the hall. If you haven't gotten one yet, you need to grab one on your way out.
We're going to walk through those in our community groups. But the goal of his inventories is just to begin to ask, what is it I love? What is my anger defending? Is there a pattern here? You ever been with someone and they completely lose their mind over something or get really angry over something, and you're like, I have no clue why they're mad. Like you went with them to a Jiffy Lube, and the guy behind the counter was just kind of curt and like, not like his name was curt, but he was short with them and rude.
And you're like, man, this guy's kind of rude. And then you walk outside and they go, can you believe that guy? I'm about ready to go back in there. It's like, what? Steve. Was that his name?
Yeah. At least I'm getting on Yelp. I'm doing it. Like, and you're going, what is wrong with you? You ever been with somebody at a restaurant? And the waiter or waitress is slow, and you actually watch someone lose their mind?
You ever done this? Like you're trying to have a conversation and they're like, they saw me. Like, what? Who saw you? I was just, I tried to make a, they turned around. They know I'm, they saw him out of tea.
I said, bro, you can have some of my tea. I don't want to, no, uh-uh. This is, this is about the principle. Is it? Is that what it's about? You see, like, do you, do you only get angry if someone disrespects you?
Maybe you really need people to think you're great. And so, maybe you love being honored and praised and people thinking highly of you. So if someone disrespects you, you can't have that. Maybe if all the categories where you're getting angry are because someone's messing with your schedule. Maybe you love your schedule too much. Maybe if all the times you're getting angry is when someone takes something that was going to be comfortable and nice away from you.
Maybe you love comfort too much. Maybe your passions are at war within you. Maybe you like your popularity too much. Maybe the only time you're getting angry is when anything involves money. So when, can you believe they asked for money?
That's, that's so rude. So, that's, and it's like, I don't know. Like, maybe you love something too much. We need to, to examine our hearts and begin to see what it is that we're pursuing. We need to submit to God, we need to admit we're angry. Give control to Him over how the situation is going to play out.
We need to repent of sin. Begin to apologize to people, repent to people. Christian, Christian people, when you apologize to somebody in our church family or in your, in your family, use the word repent. It puts it into the right category. So if, if my wife comes to me and say, hey, I just want to tell you I'm sorry.
Well, like, she could be sorry for spilling something on my shoes. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, sorry doesn't necessarily, like, she, if she comes to me and says, hey, I need to repent. I need you to forgive me. It's already pushed it into the right category for me. It's like, okay, yes.
Repentance, forgiveness, these are things Jesus works in us. So use the term, I need to repent. You need to repent of sin? We need to examine our hearts. But if we just do those things, three things, nothing really happens.
If that's all that happens, if it's just those all by themselves, nothing really happens. We actually need something else to take place. And James gets there. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Verse 9. Be wretched.
Mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. We actually need Jesus, through the power of the Holy Spirit, to break us over our sin. We need to hate our anger. We need to be broken over it. We don't need to, the goal is not to manage it.
It's to be made different. The goal is not to, okay, yeah, I have anger outbursts and I need to get to where I don't so that my situation, my life will be better, my marriage will be better. No, the goal is to realize that your sin is heinous, that you, an adulterer before God, and to be broken over our sin. To hate it. To weep. To be wretched.
To mourn. Not to say a little prayer and be like, okay, cool, I reckon that's done. To actually see it in our lives and to see how much it means that we've chased after something that won't satisfy us, that won't fix us. We've been so mad about something that happened in our past because we felt like God should have promised us a happy childhood. And so I can't be okay. I can never let go of the anger because then it's like I let them go free.
And we need to be broken over our sin. And the only way that happens, the only way that happens, verse 10, humble yourselves before the Lord and he will exalt you. Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will exalt you. The first thing we have to do is see that that happened, that Jesus first humbled himself. And Jesus first was exalted. And that we get to, because Jesus led the way, do the same thing.
You see, Jesus sat on a throne from eternity past, holding the world in his hands. Colossians 1 says that all things were created through him and for him. This existed for him and for his joy and for his glory and for his name and for his pleasure. And it rebelled against him. And when he could have been angry and just said, I have wrath for you, I'll destroy you. No, he joins us.
He humbles himself to the point of death, even death on the cross. He laid everything down for us and he took our unrighteous anger on himself. When we mocked him and spit on him and beat him and nailed him to a cross, he took all of our unrighteous anger that was aimed at him. But he didn't just do that. He took God's righteous anger as well. So that we can be set free.
He was humbled and he's been exalted to the right hand of God, to the place of glory forever. And that we get to, because Jesus humbled himself, humble ourselves and come to God and say, I need you to change me. I need you to go to work in my heart. And there's a promise in here that I think is so beautiful. When we humble ourselves, God lifts us up. When you lay down and say, I can't do this anymore.
God's the one who wraps you up and lifts you up. And I love what James says here in verse 6. This is a little bit up from what we just read a minute ago. But he gives more grace. How angry have you been? How much harm have you caused?
How much have people hurt you? Do you know how much grace he gives? More. He gives more. How many times have you failed? He gives more.
How many times have you messed this up? He gives more. How many times have you promised you would do better? He gives more. See, on the cross, Jesus took care of everything for us. And when we see him dying for our sins, dying in the midst of our anger and taking God's anger on our behalf, it melts our heart to run to him, to humble ourselves and to receive more grace.
To be set free. From our anger to fall in love with him above all else. It's the only way our love will get reordered is if we see him on a cross dying for those who hated him, dying for those who were angry at him, and taking God's wrath on our place so that we could be free. And so that we could receive more grace. The band's going to come back up. This week in our groups, we need to take the time before you get together with your group to walk through your inventories.
As we said last week, the more you put into this, the more you'll get out of it. We need to begin to submit our anger to God. We need to begin to repent to those we've harmed, even if they don't know it. We need to begin to investigate and examine our hearts to find out what it is we love so much. But ultimately, we need Jesus.
We need more grace. We need a God who loves us in the midst of our anger and our bitterness and our resentment, who loves us so much that he'll die for us, taking our anger onto himself, into himself, into his body, to the point of death, to where he was wrapped up in claws and laid in a tomb. We need the God who three days later walked out of that tomb and conquered our anger on our behalf. We need Jesus. We need to humble ourselves so that he will exalt us, that he'll lift us up, and that he'll give us a place and love us and welcome us and bring joy back in the midst of our brokenness. So my prayer for us is that we would begin to genuinely ask Jesus to help us hate our sin, to break us, to let us actually mourn, to let us actually have our joy be turned into gloom, to humble ourselves so that we can be free.
Let's pray. God, we thank you. Thank you for the cross, and we thank you that that is the promise, that you give more grace, that we cannot out-sin you, that we cannot out-run you, that there is no time when we will have done so much that you cut us loose, but that you give more grace. God, we ask that we would be free from anger, that all of the unrighteous anger and all of the love for the wrong things and all of the rampant passions that we have, that you would set us free to love you above all else so that everything else gets to be in its right place. We ask through the power of your Holy Spirit that you would author that in us.
God, I pray that there would be weeping, that we would mourn, that there would be gloom, just as there was at the cross and the tomb, that there would be humility, just as there was at the cross and the tomb, so that there can be actual exaltation, just as there is with a crown and a throne, that God, we would walk through that process to be free. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Y'all stand, let's sing.