Repentance and Growth
Transcript
My name is Chet. I'm excited to be here with you all this morning and for us to continue our Anchor Series. What we've been doing in our Anchor Series is looking at what is foundational for us as a church family, what we kind of anchor ourselves in so that what guides us and what leads us. And so that's going to be scripture, but it's going to be specifically how we understand that and how that plays out. And so what we've done so far is we've talked about kind of the gospel-centered portion of who we are. So we're all about Jesus.
We understand that it's about him changing us. It's not about our behavior. And so when we have sin struggles, we know that those are a symptom but not necessarily the root of the problem. And so we consistently apply the gospel to each other, point each other towards Jesus as it's him who changes us through his Holy Spirit. And then what we've moved into over the past two weeks is kind of the community section. So what we mean when we say we're a gospel-centered community on mission, what we mean by community.
And so last week Matt talked to us about church being a family, that we relate to one another that way. And so he went Galatians 4 where it talks about that we've been adopted. So Galatians is going to say that. Ephesians is going to say that. Romans is going to say that. Romans says that Jesus is the firstborn among many brothers.
And so we've actually been brought into God's family. John chapter 1 is going to say that we've been, through Jesus, given the opportunity to be children of God. And so then Matt was just talking about what that looks like and how that plays out and how we exist in relationship with each other. We looked at Acts chapter 2, which just talked about the early church and how they existed in relationship with one another. And so that's us. That's what we're shooting for.
That's why we do community groups, because we believe that the Christian faith has to happen in the context of relationships, that growth has to happen in the context of relationships. And so one of the things we say is that the content is always the gospel and the context is always community. So even when you're reading through the New Testament, most of the use in there are actually would be y'alls to us or use guys for like a handful of people that are part of our church family. But but it's y'all. It's written to a group of people. And so what we do as Americans is we immediately turn everything into rugged individualism.
And so we'll read even in the New Testament and we take it as this personal. This is what I have to do. And we do that to the exclusion. So we ought to respond personally, but we do that to the exclusion of relationships. We do that to the exclusion of this have having to happen in the context of real relationships with people. So we even see Jesus came to earth and spent most of his time with 12 guys.
Most of his time was spent with the 12 disciples and even more than that, a handful of three guys that he that he spent significant time pouring into and walking in life with. And so we often think that the spirituality and growth in spirituality is like a solo operation. Like it's like me on top of a mountain. Looking at a flower and weeping like we kind of feel like there's this we got to get away from everybody. And that's where that's where we'll grow the closest to God. So like when you're reading in Scripture, Jesus did that.
He went off by himself to pray. He went away by himself at times. But most of the time he was in relationship so that even when he goes and the transfiguration happens, which is where it's like this absolute mountaintop experience where Elijah and Moses show up and talk to God, which just just so you know, I don't know how legit your your quiet times are by yourself. But Moses and Elijah have never shown up and they don't show up and then talk to you. You may have read about them, but they don't show up. So Jesus does this has this absolute mountaintop experience.
And when he does, he's got three other guys with him. Because things happen and growth happens and life happens and discipleship happens in the context of community. So the next time you're talking to someone and they're like, man, I just need to spend some time, just me and Jesus, just some alone time. Just invite yourself. Be like, that sounds great. I'll come.
I'm just going to go to my cabin in the woods and just spend some time praying. Sweet. I love cabins. That'll be great. When are we going? Just invite yourself.
It's OK. It is OK to have some alone time, to spend some time absolutely fasting, praying, spending time alone. But I think too often we treat Christianity like it is a slow, solo operation and the Bible does not. And so what we're going to be reading here in Ephesians chapter three, as we get into this today, is Paul's going to be talking and he's just going to assume that the church is a family. He's just going to assume that we exist in relationships with each other. So every time it says you, it is it is the plural form of you.
It's it's written to y'all. He's writing to a church and he just assumes they have real relationships. And we'll see that as we go through. I'm going to pray and then we'll be in Ephesians chapter three. God, we just thank you for this opportunity. Thank you for who you are and what you've accomplished on our behalf.
And we ask, Lord, that your Holy Spirit would continually guide us to be church family. Help us walk through all the difficulties that come along with that. And that through that we would grow in a very real understanding of the gospel. In Jesus name. Amen. Before we get into this, I just want to highlight a few of the things I'd like for us to see as we spend time walking through Ephesians chapter four.
I want us to see that that it is understood that we would exist in relationships. I may have said Ephesians chapter three a couple of times, but I mean, I meant Ephesians chapter four. So. There you go. Ephesians three is good, but we're not going to be looking at it today. Ephesians chapter four.
As we walk through, I want us to see that for us as Christians, growth and discipleship happens in the context of community. That it has to we have to be around people and that in that we actually get to understand the gospel to a greater, greater depth. And so that's kind of what I want us to be able to see as we walk through this, as Paul walks through this entire section where he's writing to him. And so we'll see a few different things that he explains and points out to him. And we're going to be kind of moving kind of fast because we're looking at a whole chapter because we're ambitious this morning.
All right. Chapter four, verse one. I, therefore, a prisoner for the Lord. So this is Paul writing and he's in jail. So he's like an actual prisoner.
He's not speaking metaphorically. He's in jail. I, prisoner. I, therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called. And so what he's talking about there when he says walk, he just means your life. I urge you to have your life be worthy of the calling to which you have been called.
The calling that they've been called and the calling we've been called is to be Christians. It's a calling into Christ, into salvation. And so he's saying live as if the gospel is true. Walk in a way that makes sense in light of the gospel. Verse two. With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace.
Do you see what he automatically assumed as he told us to walk in life as Christians? He automatically assumes that we're in relationships with other people. And he automatically assumes we're in the type of relationships with other Christians that we're familiar with. Which is that we're a big, hot mess of sinners who love Jesus. Because what does he say we need? Humility.
Gentleness. Patience. You only need patience if you're around people for an extended period of time. And if they're annoying qualities, don't stop. Do you all understand that, right? That's what patience is.
So when you pray for more patience, what you are praying for is God, help this problem not stop. I don't pray for patience. I don't want it. I want the problem to stop. But that's what patience is.
It means that the problem continues. The frustration part continues. Here's what he says. With all humility, gentleness, and with patience. And Paul adds this in the list a good bit when he's writing these, and it's my favorite. Bear with one another.
He says put up with each other. That is so beautiful and freeing. Because what Paul doesn't write is, Dear church, as you become Christians, everything will be laughy and happy and rainbows and sunshine. And I don't know why he'd be like a weird English lady, but that's just how I assume if that's what he was saying. But that's not what he says.
What he says is be church family, and here's what you're going to need. Patience. And put up with each other, because it's going to be frustrating. And I can get on board with that. I'm like, oh man, he's been a part of my group. He's hung out with people like me.
I see Paul knows what he's talking about here. That's beautiful. He says humility, which is just if we all pull ourselves down a notch, if we all just assume other people are more important than us, that'll work out well. Gentleness just means graciousness to one another. And then patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Which means that we understand that we've all been called into the same church family, and we fight for unity.
So we don't put up with drama. We don't put up with awkwardness. We don't let situations just be like, ah, yeah, we kind of had a falling out. No, we don't accept that because we're eager to maintain unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Verse 4. There is one body, and as he talks about this, body means church family.
There's one body. We've been made a body in Christ. And so Corinthians is going to say that. Romans is going to say that. Ephesians is going to say that. That means that we exist with one another, the same relationship that your hand has with your foot.
You're on the same team. Something bad happens to your foot. That affects your hand. Something bad happens to your hand. You now have to pick things up with your foot. And it's a problem.
Like we exist in a body with one another. There's one body, church family, one spirit. That's the Holy Spirit that's come into our hearts as we've trusted in Jesus and been saved. Just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call, that one hope is an inheritance that we have in Christ. It's an inheritance we have that we know that we've been saved by Jesus to spend eternity with him. That's our hope.
Our hope is an inheritance, in a calling to heaven through Jesus and through Jesus' work, not our own. Just as you were called to the one hope which belongs to your call, one Lord, that's Jesus, one faith, that's faith in Jesus, one baptism. That's baptism. That's pretty straightforward. One God and Father of all. So he's God and he's Father.
We are a church family who is over all and through all and in all. So we exist unified in the faith. Verse 7. But grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ's gift. Therefore it says, when he ascended on high, he led a host of captives and he gave gifts to men. In saying he ascended, what does it mean but that he had also descended into the lower regions, the earth?
He who descended is the one who also ascended far above all the heavens that he might fill all things. Okay, so he quotes an Old Testament passage and then he explains it and his explanation is kind of confusing. But all he's saying is this passage is talking about Jesus. Because it assumes that he ascended. It's talking about him who came to earth for us. And so what it says is that when Jesus left, he led a host of captives.
And as we read in other places in Scripture, those captives are twofold. It's the people he set free and the enemies he's taken captive. And that's the way kings would work. When they went and conquered, when they would return, they would lead a triumphal procession of those that they had freed and those that they had enslaved. And so it's both his enemies and those who've been freed. And he gave gifts to men.
So he gifts his church, says by grace that he gifts his church to serve. And we're going to understand why here in a second. 11. And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds, and the teachers to equip the saints for the work of ministry for building up the body of Christ. Okay, so we're not going to spend much time, any time, in apostle, prophet, evangelist, shepherd, teacher talking about what that is and how that plays out. That's going to be another sermon for another time.
But what we want to see as we look at this is two things. One is Paul says he's gifted us, which means that the church has been gifted. If you are a Christian, you have been gifted by God through the Holy Spirit to serve and that leadership and our giftings. So leadership in the church and our giftings have one purpose. 12. To equip the saints for the work of ministry.
And saints just means believers, those who are made right by God through Jesus. To equip the saints for work of ministry for building up the body of Christ. Leadership in the church and giftings in the church exist for one purpose. That the saints that the church might serve might do the works of ministry and in that the church would be built up. So that's affected how we exist as a church family.
So if you're a part of a church, if there's a church and only the leaders, only the pastors, only the people, the deacons or whoever they set it up, they're the only ones who can make decisions. They're the only ones who can come up with good ideas. They're the only ones who can lead any kind of ministry or service. They're the only ones. They've missed it. Because the role of leadership in the church is to equip saints to do ministry.
So when people talk about the person's a minister and they mean that they're the one who does all the ministry, I actually kind of missed the point. Because the role of leadership in the church is to equip church family to do ministry. And the role of giftings in the church is to serve church family so that everybody grows up. So just so you all know, if here is a part of our church family, if anytime somebody gets sick or has a problem or needs some counseling, and Matt has to be the one that comes and talks, has to be the one that comes and visits, which let's just be honest. If you're sick and having problems, you probably don't want me.
We want Matt. Like we want Matt to come hug us. We want Matt to come be nice to us. Like if I'm sick, I want Matt. I want Matt to come hug me and tell me it's going to be okay. But if that happens, we've actually missed the point.
Now, leadership in the church should do ministry because they are Christians. But the role of leadership in the church is actually to equip others and equip church family to do ministry. To all the things that the church is supposed to do. Serve and give and love and impact the city and pursue people with the gospel and help everybody grow. And actually when that happens, then the body grows. So one of the ways that we respond to this and one of the ways that we seek to apply this is in our community groups.
That that's where primary relationships happen. That's where pastoral care takes place. That's where people grow together and use their gifts to serve one another. It's in our community groups. That's why if somebody says, hey, I want to do this thing or the Lord's really been pressing on my heart that we need to go do a backpack ministry for BC Grammar. Awesome.
How can we help you? Like a lot of times we've we've outsourced ministry to the church and we try to run everything through church leadership so that someone feels called to do something. And they're going to go to church leadership and say, how can we do this? When the church leadership needs to respond with how can we help you do that? So just so you know, if you if you love the children at BC Grammar and you want to do a backpack ministry and you come tell me the Lord's been waking you up at night and calling saying we need to do that.
My response is going to be sweet. How can we help you do that? You say, well, our whole church needs to do that. No, our whole church is going to do a few things, which is community groups. We're going to gather on Sundays. And then our whole church has the freedom to do everything else as we serve and work together.
And if the Lord's been pressing something on your heart, it's because he specifically gifted you and calling you into that. And that's what gets to be beautiful as we all get to serve and work together. Does that make sense? You see how that's good? We'll get to see how that continues to play out. So to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ.
So as as the saints are equipped, the church grows, the bodies built up until we all attain to the unity of the faith and the knowledge of the son of God. As we all serve, as we all use our gifts, as we've all been specifically gifted to serve in the church, as that happens, we all grow. We all grow in unity and we all grow in our knowledge of the son of God. It's through serving that we better understand who Jesus is and what he's done. And it's through serving one another. You have been gifted by God to serve others.
See, I even think a lot of times in our talk of gifting in the in the American church, we think about it as a personal thing. So like, what are you gifted in? Where do you find your role? And it becomes about you. You're gifted by God for the for the benefit of everyone else. To build up the church.
Until we all attain to the unity of the faith and the knowledge of the son of God to mature manhood to the measure of the stature of fullness of Christ. Mature manhood in the Greek just means full grown man, which I love that because every once in a while you meet somebody and you're like, that's a full grown man. Like there are men and they're like adult men and then there are full grown men. And so as Christians, we all want to serve and we all want to work so that we can be Christians with like big man hand, like man paws and beards and back hair. You know, spiritually. Like we want to grow to be full grown men in the church is what it what he says to the measure of the fullness of the stature of Christ that as we all serve, as we all work, as we all toil together, we all grow to be more like Jesus.
And that's beautiful. See, what happens is the more people serve, the more people use their gifts, the less it is about people and the more it gets to be about Jesus. The more it gets to be about all the ways that he blesses and works and gives his grace and his giftings to his church family so that the church builds itself up. And the more that that happens, the more it gets to be about Jesus. So that we may no longer be children tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes.
You know, it's beautiful about all of the church pulling together and striving together. It's not easily led astray. One person who can say things in a very articulate way can't stand up and lead a large group of the church off into nonsense because the whole church has been serving and working and growing together. It doesn't happen. So it's beautiful about our groups.
I get to show up to my group and say, I was reading this and I was thinking I was thinking it was saying this. And my group gets to say, there's no way it was saying that because Roman says this. And I get to say, you're right. What I thought was stupid. It's very helpful. Thank you.
We don't get easily led astray as we all grow together. 15. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head into Christ. We use that speaking the truth in love. A lot of times I think people use it as like, I'm going to say something mean to you. I'm going to speak the truth in love to you, brother.
You ought not sing in front of people. It's like, well, OK, we should say true things to one another and we should say it in a gracious, loving way. But really, the truth is the gospel. And so we speak in love. We speak the gospel to each other. We point each other back to Jesus.
And as that happens, as we all serve and we all work and we all use our gifting, as that happens, we grow up into Jesus. And it gets to be about him, not about us. Verse 16. from whom, from Jesus, from Christ, from whom the whole body joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow. That's Jesus makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love. When all of us pull together, when all of us use our giftings, the whole church grows. We grow into Jesus and Jesus helps us grow and we build each other up.
That's why community groups are important for us because we look at scripture and we don't see how we're going to do some of the things that it calls us to do unless we're in real relationships with each other. And in our community groups, we're designed to serve one another. So you've got somebody in your group that just relationally has way more friends than anybody should ever have. Like there's probably someone in your group that just, they can keep up with everybody. They know everybody. They're constantly introducing you to people they genuinely have friendships with.
Like it annoys you how many friends they have. Like you don't think they should have that many friends. Like no one person should have that many friends, but they're gifted that way. And so we get to grow together. Some of you hadn't made a friend since middle school. Not very gifted there.
God hasn't gifted you in the ability to just make a friend. Like you start a conversation, it gets awkward and you bail. Like you consistently are like, hey, this is a nice conversation. You run it into the ground and then you go, all right, this is good, good talking. You're not designed to do it, but in your group, you have something you're gifted to do. Maybe you are amazing in a kitchen.
Maybe you are amazing when it comes to service. You love not having to talk and having to be at the front of things, but you're going to make sure everything's clean. You're going to make sure everybody has what they need because God's gifted you to serve and to help. And the person who relationally connects to everybody maybe can't have a real deep conversation with anyone. It goes beyond ha ha ha ha and they're over their head. And there's just one person in your group that immediately can turn conversations and handle spiritual things and go towards the gospel.
Some of you, when someone's hurting, the best you've got is like, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there. Like that's what you got. But you can, you can show up and help them work. You can show up and help serve. You're going to take care of logistic things for them while they're dealing with problems. You're going to make sure that people bring food to their house, but someone else is going to be the person sitting on the couch crying with them.
You've been gifted by the Holy Spirit for your church family. And if we are not consistently figuring out how we've been designed to, to, to serve each other, we actually hurt the body because we're designed to use our gifts so that the body builds itself up. So we actually get to begin to pray about and ask God, how am I supposed to serve my community group? How am I supposed to serve my church family? What have you gifted me to do? And we're going to get to see how this helps us grow.
We already see how it helps the rest of our church family grow, but we'll get to see as we look through the rest of this, how it helps us grow. So, um, Paul in this next section, we're going to kind of read through it pretty quickly. What he's going to say basically is this, you used to not be a Christian. Now you are, you have a new identity in Christ, not you did these things and it made you a Christian. He's going to say, no, Jesus made you a Christian through what he's done. Now live like it.
So we, we can't get that backwards. You can't get it as you do stuff and get to become a Christian. And then you get to live that way to keep it together. No, it's Jesus did stuff. He saved us through his work, not ours. That's the gospel.
We became Christians and then we get to live like it as we have a new identity. Okay. And then he's going to explain kind of how that looks as we read through the rest of this chapter. So now this, I say and testify in the Lord that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles. And in this particular situation, it just means those who don't know Jesus in the futility of their minds. And they are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to their hardness of heart.
They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. But this is not the way you learned Christ, assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him as the truth is in Jesus to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds and to put on the new self created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. And so Jesus makes us new. He creates us in righteousness and holiness. And then we get to walk in that.
And so here's how he explains how we get to do that. And again, we'll see that it's all relational. It has to do with being in real relationships. Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger and give no opportunity to the devil.
Let the thief work with his own hands so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come from out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up as fits the occasion that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you. Okay.
So here's what Paul says. Walk in the new life you've been given. And then he tells us what that looks like. And it's all relational. Don't lie to each other. Don't be fake.
That's an invitation. That's not a command. It is kind of a command, but it's an invitation. Just so you know, if you're in a community group, you have a couple of options. You can be a fake version of yourself, a pretend version of yourself, and people can like the pretend version of you, but that is tiring and very difficult to keep up. And it's not real.
What he says is be honest, be open, be real. And then you actually get to find that you get to be a messed up sinner that a bunch of people love anyway. You get to be the real, uh, non-fake, non-cleaned up version of yourself and get to see how freeing that is as a group of people rally around. I always, I always think it's funny when something happens in our groups and somebody like something comes out and it turns out that they're worse than everybody thought. Um, and they're usually like, I just don't want people to think, um, you know, and it's like, what a sinner? Braswell brought us together.
We knew you were a sinner. You've been having it together for too long. We all assumed you were faking. We're glad this came out. Now we get to actually begin to grow.
We get to actually walk this out like it's good and healthy. Our goodness didn't bring us together. Our sin did. So when we find out that we're broken, all it does is point to how good Jesus is. So he says, be honest, be real with each other.
Then he says this, be angry, but don't sin. Don't let the sun go down on your anger. You know what he assumes as you exist in relationships with each other? You're going to get mad. Isn't that nice? And he says, be angry, just work it out.
Like don't, don't linger on that. Don't let that hang out. Don't, don't go, don't let the sun go down on that. So he says, work out problems, relational problems quickly. Don't hold onto them. He says, uh, change the former man of your life.
So if you used to steal, don't steal anymore. Like he goes through this whole list and then he ends it with this, forgive each other. So he says, do this, do this, do this, do this, live like this. And then he gets to the end and he goes, okay, guys. All right, team, you're going to mess that up.
So forgive each other. Let me tell you something that is true about our church family. If you hang out long enough, one of two things will happen. And if you keep hanging out, both will. If you hang out long enough, one of two things will happen. If you keep hanging out, both will either someone in our church family will hurt you, will offend you, will fail you, will sin against you, or you will hurt somebody, offend them, fail them, or sin against them.
Either you will be sinned against or you will sin against someone if you hang out long enough in real relationships. And here's what's beautiful. We get to forgive each other. Through the cross, we've been forgiven. So we actually get to forgive as we live in real relationships.
And here's the thing. If you don't live in real relationships, you won't have to have patience. You won't have to bear with anyone. You won't have to forgive anyone. And you'll actually have a shallow understanding of God's grace towards you. Because it's only when I have to forgive someone that I realize how costly forgiveness is.
And I appreciate all the more the cross. And it's only the people that we exist in real relationships with that we have to have patience for. My wife, Anna, has to have the most patience for me than anyone else in the world. Because she's around me all the time. She has to bear with me than more than anyone else in the world. And the truth is, is we walk in real relationships in our community groups.
We get to have patience with each other. We get to bear with one another. And we get to repent. And we get to forgive. Hang out long enough and you'll be on both ends of that. You'll have to go to someone and say, I failed.
I sinned against you. I've been angry with you. And I hadn't talked to you about it. I allowed this awkward situation to get in between us. And we never worked it out. And I was wrong.
And I'm sinful. And I need you to forgive me. And then they actually get to apply the gospel, which is that Jesus forgave them. So they get to forgive you. And it's a process. And if you hang out long enough, you'll be on both ends of it.
And the truth is, in both sides of that, we get to remember the gospel and we get to grow in it. I want us to see one thing as we look in, as how he moves into this next section. Of course, the chapters and verses were added later. So I feel like this is the same kind of thought process. But therefore, this is chapter five.
Therefore, be imitators of God as beloved children. So remember, we're a family. And walk in love as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and a sacrifice to God. So here's what he says. Be imitators of God as children of God. Love one another.
Walk in love and realize that that Jesus gave himself up as an offering and a sacrifice for us as he loved us that much. Tim Keller, who's really smart. He's a pastor in New York, and he writes really smart things. He's kind of like C.S. Lewis, but he's alive. He says this when it talks about loving people.
And I just thought this was helpful. It's this whole section on how loving people is difficult, but he starts it off this way. He says, think about it. If you love a person whose life is all put together and has no major needs, it costs you nothing. It's delightful. There are probably four or five people like that where you live.
You ought to love. You ought to find them and become their friend. That's nice. He says, think about it. If you love someone who's got their life all put together, it costs you nothing. And it's nice.
It's delightful. Find those people and be their friend. And then he says, but the rest of love doesn't look like that. And he goes to this whole section and explains that all of love is sacrifice. And that's what we see in this chapter, this verse where it says, walk in love, just as Jesus loved us and was a sacrifice for us. Here's how this works.
My wife and I are about to have a baby in a couple of weeks. It's supposed to be like 30 days from now, but Anna's hoping that he comes early because she's getting really tired of him kicking her. I'm hoping he doesn't come super early because I'm enjoying like being able to sleep at night and stuff because he doesn't kick me. He doesn't keep me up. But here's what I understand.
We don't have any kids, but here's what I understand about children. Uh, cause I've been doing some research online and talking to people. Um, here's what I understand about children. Uh, they don't really pull their own weight for like some years. Like they're pretty useless when it comes to like chores and accomplishing things and like making money. I think it's like upwards of like seven years before you can like get them in the workforce and they start really, really pulling their weight around the house.
Uh, here's what we understand when it comes to love. It takes sacrifice to love somebody. It just does. Real love is going to involve sacrifice. It's going to involve sacrificing time. It's going to involve.
So as we raise our son, we're going to have to sacrifice. He's going to take up our time. He's going to, he's going to monopolize our time in a lot of ways. He's going to, I'm going to be involved in less than interesting conversations. Like he's going to be, I'm going to be like, bro, you're babbling nonsense. I don't even understand half of what you're saying.
And that show is dumb. I don't want to talk about it. Like, wait till you get something interesting to say, we'll talk. No, I can't do that. I have to be like, really? Wow.
You did what? Even if I can't understand what he's saying, like, I've got to do that. So he'll grow. I have to sacrifice so that he'll grow. I have to sacrifice time and energy and money and effort. And that's what love looks like.
And if I didn't do that, I wouldn't love him. Like if you saw parents that weren't willing to sacrifice for their children, you'd be like, there's something wrong in this situation because all love involves sacrifice. And we know that. Let's say you're in high school and there's a girl that's considered a geeky. And some people don't really hang out with her, but you notice this. And so you, you want to be your friend.
Like you want to go out of your way to be nice to her because life seems rough. So you do, you start hanging out with her, you start talking to her and I don't know, maybe a week into this, your friends come over and say, why are you talking to her? Why are you hanging out with her? What's happened? Her geekiness has rubbed off on you. You, you can't love her without taking on some of her qualities, without taking on some of what makes her unlovable by other people.
You have to pour out some of your coolness and take on some of her geekiness. But that's how love works. If you're in a community group and there's someone in your group that's just needy, they're hurting, life hasn't been good for them right now, they're just emotionally down, they're depressed. If you spend time with them, the only way for them to be undepressed, for them to be, come out of being down is for you to pour out your joy, for you to actually let them drain you. It's the only way to love them. It's through sacrifice.
It's through taking your time and your energy and your joy and pouring it out on their behalf to be a substitutionary sacrifice for them, which is what Jesus was for us. All love is sacrifice. We can't bear each other's burdens unless we carry some of the weight. The problem with the Christian church in America so often is that I'm going to bear your burden unless some of the burden gets on me, which doesn't make any sense. Like that's my favorite way to move things. Like in my community group, we have to move people all the time because they never stop moving for some reason.
The best is when they're moving far away because then you don't have to do it once. You just pack them up and you're like, peace. Just kidding, guys. These crosstown moves are killing me though. So I was talking to Logan the other day.
He's moving and he was explaining who was helping him. He goes, yeah, and we've got your truck. And I was like, bro, I haven't even told you how to help you yet. Like, I don't know why you're just assuming my truck. I'm like, are you going to drive it? I didn't say that.
I thought it. That's why he was laughing hard back there because I didn't. This is just things I think, guys. Here's the thing. If somebody's moving something and I'm going to help, I actually have to shoulder some of the weight. I can't just stick my hands under.
That's my favorite. It's like, just follow somebody and be like, I'm spotting you. You pull your back. I'll catch you. Like, no, you actually have to carry some of the weight. And as we walk in life together, we actually have to give up some of our energy, some of our joy, some of our, we have to bear some of our burdens.
We have to actually, to be generous, have to open our wallets to help someone else out. That's how that works. And if we don't do that, we miss out on the opportunity to grow because we miss out on an opportunity to align ourselves with Jesus and understand the depth of his generosity, the depth of his love and the depth of his sacrifice and how difficult it is to forgive. If we never walk in relationships, we miss all of that. Not only does our church family not get served as we pour ourselves out for them, but we actually miss out on understanding the reality and the weight of the gospel. See, too often we approach our groups and we approach churches by, what am I getting out of this?
And we miss the point. If you show up to your group and think, oh, you know, people talk to you and say, yeah, I just wasn't getting fed there. I just wasn't getting anything out of that. Or it just wasn't, it wasn't meeting my needs. They've missed the point because they were gifted specifically to pour themselves out. And real love is going to involve sacrifice.
And so when everybody in your community group starts showing up and saying, how can I serve? I exist for these other people. My gifts are here for these other people. I'm going to pour out for these other people. That actually gets to be a beautiful group. Everybody gets to grow and it gets to be about Jesus.
And it's beautiful. When we were about to plant a church, I was up in Lynchburg. I was going to school and I was talking to a pastor who's solid guy, has done a lot of stuff, was a pastor of a big church and his dad's like a brain genius. And, um, he was talking to me and he said, his dad had been a professor forever, actually like started a school. And he said to me, he said, um, he said, okay, you're going to do groups and that's cool to help people grow as disciples and stuff. Cause I was, you know, I had my plan for what we were going to do.
And, uh, he said, uh, but my dad's 80. He's been in the church forever. He knows the Bible backward and forward. He doesn't need to be in one of your groups. What does he need to do? Like, what would you have for him?
And so I, that was a legitimate, like I was thinking about it. I was like, okay. Um, and I was like, I don't know. So I spent more time praying about it. And then I realized that the whole understanding, the approach to that was just off. First of all, he's gifted for the benefit of others.
So actually he might think he doesn't need a group, but the group needs him to share wisdom, to point them out to where they're off in the gospel, where they're not understanding the Bible clearly. It needs him to teach and to lead and shepherd. And here's the other thing. He doesn't get to grow. If he's not in relationships, he won't get to forgive unless I get to take him off. He won't get to bear with someone unless he consistently is around me so that I can annoy him.
Like that's how that works. He actually gets to grow, even though we would look at him in our, in our culture and say, Oh, he knows everything. Yeah. But he doesn't get to apply it unless he's having to forgive, unless he's having to bear with people, unless he's having to have patience, unless he consistently has me sit down across from him and completely misunderstand what he taught me the week before. Then he needs patience.
Then he needs to bear with somebody. You see, we all get to grow as we have real relationships. And when Paul's walking through this and saying, we're gifted to serve one another, he's saying that you were designed to be in relationships with each other. This is just how it works. So don't miss that.
If you're not in a community group and you say, I'm a Christian, get in a group because it's how we grow. It's how we get to be around each other in normal life so that we can see how we ought to apply the gospel to one another, how we ought to walk through life together. If you're in a group, pour yourself out. Realize that all love is sacrifice and that we're empowered by the sacrifice that Jesus made on the cross to actually love one another, to actually forgive. And that as we have to do that, we'll grow. We'll all grow as we pour ourselves out, as we go beyond how far we thought we could bear, as we deal with people that are frustrating, as we have to repent and as we have to forgive.
We'll come to love the gospel in a way that we never thought we could. And we'll become a part of a real family. And there's a lot of joy there. So we'll be messy. Yes, we'll be difficult. We'll be hard.
We'll be frustrating. Will you be absolutely worn out at times? Yes. But will it be beautiful and good? And will it make much of Jesus? Yes.
And as we do it, we'll all get to grow. So don't miss out. Josh and Bianca and Raz are going to come back up and we're going to sing as a church family together. And that's all I would say is to realize that you've been gifted by God to serve others, that you exist for the benefit of your group, not the other way around, that we're designed to pull together, to serve together, to grow together in all the ways that God's gifted us to do that. And if you're not, you're missing out. You're missing out on the beauty that comes from being in real relationships with real sinners who have a real savior.
So don't miss out. Let's pray. God, we thank you that through your sacrifice and through your forgiveness and through your love that we can have real relationships, that you have made us into a family and that it's our brokenness and our messiness that brings us together because it's your righteousness and holiness that saves us. So God, I pray that we wouldn't settle for surface level, that we wouldn't settle for fake, but that we'd be real because none of us through our good behavior saved ourselves. And as we're real, God, and as we're open and as we're broken and as we're frustrating to one another, I pray that you would empower us through the gospel to forgive and to sacrifice and to love in a real way.
We ask God that your Holy Spirit would move, begin to show us how we ought to serve, where you have gifted us, for those of us who don't know. That you'd help us to point out in each other where there's growth and where there's gifting. God, we just ask that as we all serve and as we all pull together and as we all do ministry, that you would build your church and that it would get to be all about you and that you would get all the glory from it as your entire family serves and works and uses the gifts that you gave them. We ask you to work in and among us and we praise you in Jesus' name. Amen.
Y'all stand, let's sing.