Theology of Sex+ Week 2: Built and Blessed
Use this guide to help your group discussion as you meet this week.
Transcript
Well good morning my name is Chet I'm one of the pastors here grab a Bible and head to Genesis chapter one should be the first page of your Bible shouldn't be too hard to find but we're going to be there this morning we are in our Theology of sex plus Series where we are trying to as a Church get our footing in the midst of a culture that has a torrent of things to say about how we ought to think about men and women and gender and sex and sexuality that we are just overrun with this is how you're supposed to think about that this is how you're supposed to say that this is what's.
True this is what not I mean it's it's um unending and Relentless and we need to be able to take some time to say does the Bible help us out here does it tell us anything that will give us some clarity so this morning I'm going to say something that uh philosophers historians anthropologists scientists medical professionals theologians and stand-up comics have all noticed and remarked upon men and women are different oh that's what we're going to talk about this morning but we're going to not just say that they're different and not just make remarks about the differences.
But we're going to look at the fact that God designed them distinct on purpose for a purpose that these distinctives these things that go into masculinity and femininity aren't random or evolutionary but that they were built into US baked into us on purpose for a purpose you could say that we were built and blessed or we were designed and destined or you could say it in this long sentence and we looked at last week which is this we are created image bearing embodied and distinct people made.
For complementary co-rule with God and what we looked at last week was created image bearing embodied and distinct and today we're going to look at complementary co-rule with God and we're going to try to wrap our head a little bit around what's built into masculinity what's built into femininity and why is that good because the Bible tells us that it's it's good now in order for this to be sermon length we're going to speak in some generalities so they're going to be some things that I say that aren't always true.
For all men or all women but they're generally true and then we're going to try to rough in some of the Baseline things that are handed as responsibilities to masculinity and hand it as responsibilities to femininity and hand it as gifts to masculinity and hand it as gifts to femininity and hand it as gifts to masculinity for femininity and hand it as gifts to femininity for masculinity and I will try not to say femininity and masculinity that many times in a row again.
But no promises so grab your Bible go to Genesis chapter one we're going to look at verse 26 we're going to pick up where we left off last week kind of looking at this same passage last week and we're going to notice some different things so it says this then God said let us make man in our image so we are designed in God's image after our likeness and let them so this man is not male but Humanity let them and we're going to.
See that fleshed out even more in just a second let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the Earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on Earth so Humanity was made for nothing less than complete and utter world domination that's what we're designed for Authority is built into humanness so if you dislike Authority and reject Authority and think Authority is bad you are rejecting something essential to the nature of humanity that every single person in this room was built to wield Authority and you need to understand that we were designed to exist in authority and to wield Authority.
And to wield it well and to co-rule with God God's going to rule over the Earth but he specifically designed image bearers to have dominion co-dominion with him and co-dominion with one another it is weighty and beautiful that God would lay that responsibility on us verse 27 so God created man in his own image again that's Humanity in the image of God he created him male and female he created them and Genesis 5 is going to say the same thing but it's this picture of humanity being both male and female designed with a purpose.
For this purpose and I want you to know something it's something that we just assumed that we know without knowing that we know it but in our cultural time I need to point it out uh when it says male and female or later when it says that God made a woman and brought her to the man you know what that means this isn't confusing language for us I was reading a book to my children or read at night to my children some and I thoroughly enjoy that do a lot of voices it's a lot of fun um there's a book that we gave up on.
Because it annoyed the snot out of me but one of the things it did early on in the book was it said it was a little Adventure book or whatever and it said that in their Garden there was a thwap and a thwap is about the size of a Zonk and then it just moved on with its hilarious little joke where it tells you two words that you don't know what they mean uses one to describe the other haha you got us I was very angry at this author I still am I shouldn't talk about it here that's not what the Bible's doing.
When it says male and female it's not talking about flaps and zonks that we don't understand what it's talking about when it says man and woman you know what it's talking about you know what a man is you know what a woman is you actually know what a man is and what a woman is with surprising accuracy you you can walk around and spot them and you're real good at it and so when it says this it's distinct creatures that are distinct on purpose and we know built in some of those distinctives we've lived around it our whole lives.
And so when it says male and female and later man and woman we know what those are and that God intentionally from the very beginning built this distinction in so look at verse 28 and God blessed them and God said to them be fruitful and multiply and fill the Earth and subdue it and have dominion over it so this blessing this intentional design that God gave us is to subdue the Earth and he says be fruitful and multiply now you have the healthy human has everything it needs to survive built in you you breathe with your own lungs your body converts oxygen puts it in your bloodstream your heart pumps that around you eat on.
Your own you digest on your own there is one thing though essential to the existence of humanity that God did not give you the ability on your own but split that and he split it based off of gender and that is reproduction and he made our participation in reproduction not just have to have two distinct types of people but our roles in reproduction are very different if you don't believe that you can ask my wife because when I said we should have more children she said it's difficult and I said it wasn't that difficult and she seemed to think that her participation and it was different from mine she told me we could have more.
Kids if I had them because it's difficult it's very different it's wildly different for the way that God designed this and y'all much of human history and the way things have planned out between men and women is built into this one particular design difference that God gave us women get pregnant and men do not women stay pregnant and look being pregnant you are you are I mean doing this amazing phenomenal you're creating a human inside of you it's insane but being pregnant also makes you bad at most everything else it just does.
Look up pregnancy brain my wife one time wore one of my flip-flops and one of her flip-flops for like an hour before she noticed she did not get faster and stronger while pregnant she got to where she couldn't breathe or sleep whatever it's insane and then after the baby's born you don't just bounce off and they don't run off like lizards they cling to their moms forever and have to be fed by their moms the ability for a dad to feed a child it is a recent development and it's not even something that we did in our bodies y'all this is historical fact that has played out and how men and women work.
God built it that way on purpose and here's what it says in Genesis 31 it says it's all what he made and behold it was very good God made men and women distinct from one another on purpose for a purpose and he says it's good this is going to be very good now gender is essential to our design as people this is a quote from Kathy Keller I'll quote her a couple of times a day in her in the book meaning of marriage with Tim and Kathy Keller she wrote the the one on uh the chapter on gender differences and she has some really helpful things to say.
But she says this this means she's talking about this passage in Genesis this means that our maleness or our femaleness is not incidental to our humanness but it constitutes its very essence that from the very beginning we were made male or female God does not make us into generic Humanity that is later differentiated rather from the start we are male and female every cell in our body is stamped as XX or x y and even in situations where there's x x y or xyy there's still this on every single cell this Mark that delineates between male and female is there a y chromosome is there not it says this.
If I try to ignore the way that God has designed me or if I despise the gifts he may have given to me fulfill my calling if the postmodern that's our current cultural approach to things if the postmodern view that gender is wholly a social construct or true then we could follow whatever path seemed good to us if our gender is at the heart of our nature however we risk losing a key part of ourselves if we abandoned our distinctive male and female roles that it is built into your very existence as a human you are human.
But you're not just a human you're a male human or a female human and God did that on purpose now the idea that gender is just a social construct is something that we will deal with more later but gender isn't just a social construct while there are some socially constructed things like how we dress like there's a passage in Deuteronomy or in the Old Testament law where it says men shouldn't dress like women but that changes from culture to culture what what that looks like there's nowhere in the Bible that says that boys have to like the color blue or that pink is a girl color or the girls have to play with baby dolls.
And boys have to play with trucks there's nowhere that says that a man can't wear a green flower shirt even though some of y'all have had a little attitude about it this morning it's not in there there's felinity and femininity that do studies bear this out mean that often little boys would rather play with something that have wheels and if they get to pick they'll pick that and little girls will play with things often even if you give them a ball sometimes they'll treat it like a baby doll it just is how it works and that's some things that you can say.
Well that's culturally poured into them by the people around them and maybe but we are designed differently and you can look there's study after study after study that shows this but that some of the things that we have given to us culturally aren't biblical commands they're just ways that some of this plays out as we try to figure it out and look at it together so if you don't if you're a lady and you don't like flowers that's fine and if you're a man and you don't like hunting that's fine.
And if you don't like football that's fine you're wrong but it's fine that's not unbiblical now culturally we're given a couple of options on how we should treat gender and they're both they're bad so let me share them with you one is to just say there are no differences between men and women just flatten it out there's no differences any difference we see is just culturally given to us it's just what we taught the kids but there are no real differences between men and women that's that's one thing that we're told culturally and what that ends up doing though the more you press on it is it either rounds off masculinity or hardens up femininity.
Is usually how this works out it's usually either trying to press men to be more effeminate or press ladies to be more masculine and it's a rejection of the beauty of the distinctiveness given to us one of the books I was reading said so often one of his problems that he has with people saying that women are just as good as men is that when he talks to them and they play that out they end up just pulling women onto the battlefield he said most often what they're doing is erasing a lot of the beauty of femininity by pressing into this idea that's not always 100 true.
But that's what happens is we flatten it out some way and we reject the goodness of the distinctiveness or the other cultural option we have is to over value one to uh and to demean the other so we say things like men are trash women are crazy men are going to take over the world women are like this men are like this but we mean it in the way that women are dominant and they're going to be the ones who rule everything and they're the ones who are the best and anywhere you add a man you just added stupidity one of the arguments you'll hear every once in a.
While and it boils down to men are stupid women are just as smart as men it's like good what a well-articulated argument this way that we owe value one or demonize the other and so we overvalue men and we demonize women and and neither one of those is meant to be what happens God gave them both distinct but gifted for good so here's what we're about to do we're going to read in Genesis chapter 2. and we are going to just uh make some notes about the things that kind of fit under the man and make some notes about the things that fit under the woman.
And then we'll kind of take those all together and look at them so I'm just going to go that's important that's important and then we'll have we'll kind of compile a little list and then we'll look at it all together all right General same stuff that we just saw in Genesis 1 but it zoomed in it tells us more about how God went about making man and woman this Genesis chapter 2 verse 5. we know Bush of the field was yet in the land and no small plant of the field had yet sprung up.
For the Lord God had not caused it to rain on the land and there was no man to work the ground okay so he's not here yet but we're already told he's got work to do one of the primary things that's going to happen is he's going to work and you can say that well this is the same word for Humanity it is it's the word Adam it's the same word for Humanity it's the same word for Adam the man that they're going to make.
But that God's going to make and then but this ultimately as this story plays out it's he's talking specifically of the male so he says work so if you want to write that down or Circle it or whatever we'll put that under man if you're making a chart man put work under there woman oh I need to say this uh one time my wife was wearing a jacket and I said to her that's a that's a cute jacket I really like that jacket and what she should have done was blushed and said thank you boo.
But that is not what she did what she said was I wore a jacket yesterday did you not like that jacket now maybe I oversold how much I like this jacket I don't know the way I said it it's probably I could have delivered it better when I say as we're going through this this is true about men or this is true about women don't flip it around and say oh so men can't or oh so women can't just hear the direct statement does that make sense Men You're supposed to work we're going to talk about that in a.
Second I'm not saying women aren't that's not but we're just as the essential things that are built in that's one of them okay all right y'all stay focused let's keep going verse six and a miss was going up from the land oh wait is that no not verse six jump two verse oh my goodness that's it's in there and the Miss was going up from the land and was watering the whole face of the ground then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the Breath of Life and the Man became a living creature and the.
Lord God planted a garden in Eden in the east and there he put the man whom he had formed it's going to talk more about the garden where it's located go to verse 15. the Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and keep it so this man goes there and he's got this specific job so it's worked but in this work and keep we're going to look at that in a moment so mark that that's important.
And then he's going to tell the man to not eat of the tree of the knowledge of Good and Evil go to verse 18. and the Lord God said it is not good that the man should be alone I will make him a helper fit for him so you can underline not good if you're filling out the little chart for men it's work and keep and not good now don't get too excited about writing that it's not good that he's alone masculinity is incomplete without femininity.
But there's a real tension thrown into the text when this is said because in chapter one God makes something and it's good he makes something and it's good and then at the end it says it's very good this is the first time where he's made anything and said that's not good have you ever been around somebody and all of a sudden they go uh-oh and you immediately like what that's what this is oh and we're supposed to pause we're supposed to have this moment oh what how what's going on and that's what's happening here is that masculinity on its own God's design.
For Humanity is not going to complete be complete with just masculinity so let's let's look yeah that's where we are and he was made first now that's not said it just it said it's there and you might would think well is that important and the New Testament is going to say yes it is and that's going to play out in the way we're to understand what are the distinctive things for masculinity so that's what we've got all right go back to.
Verse 15. the Lord God took the man put him in the garden oh no sorry verse 18. then the Lord God said it is not good that the man should be alone I will make him a helper fit for him now we don't know that that's the woman yet but that's going to be the woman and so if you want an underneath woman when you're filling that chart out help her fit for him and we'll have to Define what that means.
But that's helpful it's essential to kind of what God has designed for femininity so help her fit for him and we'll Define those words later okay now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them and whatever the man called every living creature that was its name this is how the world Works God designs God's creates and we get to discover and name and classify he's like the.
First little scientist charting things out it's it's really it's an interesting picture of how God wants to partner with humanity and it shows some of the authority of Adam to be able to name creatures that he has dominion over them the man gave names to all livestock unto the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field but for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him and I think that sentence is so weird that's what we were doing.
When he was naming all the animals we were also background looking for a helper fit for him y'all do y'all see how much that drags out the tension of this it says it's not good that he would be alone he says I'm going to make a helper fit for him and then it says he made it all of the creatures and not one of them was fit for him none of them could match with him none of them could share life and ideals and hopes and dreams and effort none of them and Adam feels this I think some of it is to show Adam his lack.
Verse 21 so the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh all right so that rib or came from his side that's That's essential to understanding the role of women the role of femininity y'all everything Adam was made from dust everything else came out of the ground Eve doesn't she comes out of Adam she comes out of his side she doesn't come out of the front or from behind she comes out of his side they pulled apart almost breaks him he does surgery he says he cuts him open and closes him back puts him in a.
Deep sleep does anesthesiology and this picture of Eve being made from Adam and for Adam is important and how we're to understand this and y'all this is like Love Song stuff they're made for each other that God intentionally designed it to have this some level of completeness together and and this isn't to say that every single woman or every single man is incomplete we over celebrate that kind of romantic love culturally where the Bible is going to say that no there's there's a wonderful beautiful way to live single a single lifestyle to the glory of.
God and it's actually better in some ways so every lady who says you know what I'm I'm just going to devote my life to Jesus I'm going to go be a missionary and every man who takes on the same thing is a blessed wonderful thing you're not incomplete because you don't have someone of the opposite gender that lives in your house but humanity is incomplete without two genders our country will be worse if we get rid of genders because we need masculinity and femininity.
Okay y'all this is great watch this verse 22 and the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and he brought her to the man can y'all picture God's face when he's doing this you ever given a really good gift to somebody he's brought every animal that he's created in front of Adam and I can almost see him walking up with the woman like what about this in our search for a helper fit for you in the search.
For a companion what do you think of this it's the best thing that he's brought and we know it's the best thing that he's brought because Adam starts singing or doing poetry one or the other both invented to impress women apparently then the man said this at last is bone of my bones and Flesh of My Flesh she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man yeah he he goes Ella Fitzgerald on this at last and he didn't do that with any other part of creation he didn't go giraffe like it didn't it's not a thing.
God brings the woman forward as this like celebrated Crescendo of creation and we should not have that lost on us when we read this text we were stuck for a long time with we're missing something and then there's a poem a song when she shows up and I can tell you this the men in the room we've felt this before we've had the moment where we were just around guys for too long where we existed in just a masculine world for too long.
And then some femininity showed up and you were like thank you this was needed this was helpful this is so good and that's the way this is written that humanity is the Capstone of Creation in Genesis 1. but then Genesis 2 is like yeah it is Humanity together but don't miss the celebration of the woman verse 24 therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and they shall become one flesh it's written a couple interesting things in that that passage that verse right there is that the man leaves he's going to set up a new kind of household he's the one leaving is what we're told.
It says that he would leave his father and mother meaning that from the very beginning where father and mother is the ideal and I was reading some sociologists that said that if they had to just come up with it after doing all their study they had to come up with the best way to raise a child they would have come up with this something like this a father and a mother like that you need masculinity you need femininity and that's the best way to raise children.
Now in some situations we're not in that situation and if you're a single mom and you're having to raise children on your own we're where the ideal is lacking Grace abounds but that's the ideal and that's why God made reproduction happen the way it happens 25 and the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed you know they were perfectly comfortable with their gender with their bodies that's one of the blessings that happens in the original design for Humanity he was a man news a man felt good being a man was glad to be a man she was a woman knew she was a woman felt good to be a woman glad.
To be a woman he was glad she was a woman she was glad he was a man it was good that's part of the very good design here all right where are we at where's our man and woman chart that we're working up here man working keep not good on his own it's not good that he's alone he was made first all right a woman is helper fit for him created from Adam's side and a celebrated crescendo of creation Now that's very good and we have never enjoyed the just very good version of this not a day in your life you've enjoyed some glimpses of it you've gotten some taste of it you've seen it.
Work well but you've never just gotten this because Adam and Eve immediately fail and fall into sin so we're going to look at Genesis 3. we're going to look at the curses because they also help us see some of the tension here and some of the way God intentionally designed men and women to function differently all right after they rebel against God God curses certain things and this is what it says in Genesis chapter 3 verse 16. to the woman he said I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing in pain you shall bring forth children.
So there may have been some pain but now it's been multiplied and it does seem also that there's an extended painfulness difficulty in the overall raising of children for women and observation seems to bear this out that women have a lot of care and love and connectiveness to their children in a distinct way from the fathers fathers love their children but there seems to be some kind of distinct thing here that that goes along with the difficulty of not only giving birth.
But also of just bearing and raising children I remember when our son was born I was holding him and my wife said don't you just love him so much we were at the hospital and I said I don't know I just met him give me a minute which I thought was hilarious she didn't think it was funny at all it was a joke I did love him but the reality was she had known him for nine months she had known him like he had existed inside of her he was much more real to her.
For a long time than he was to me and it seems like that's continued that there's some amount of this connection that she has with our children that I love my boys as their father but our approaches and tone on things is just different and so it's cursed and certainly it has a lot to do with just the process but it seems like there's maybe more there It also says this your desire shall be contrary to your husband that he shall rule over you foreign the beautiful design of headship and helper which was celebrated as very good.
Now makes us feel uncomfortable for me to even say headship and helper what was going to be something that we delighted in and knew a beautiful picture of is cursed so that there's friction there's dominance there's demeaning there's all these things that go into this now that make it worse but it's cursed and we'll see in a minute more of how that plays out to Adam he said because you have listened to the voice of your wife he was meant to lead he was meant to be the one who helped protect her like as far as we know.
God only told him not to eat of that tree maybe God told her but we don't see that in the text so it was partially on seems like it was on Adam to help protect them from this to help them make wise decisions together since you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you you shall not eat of it cursed is the ground because of you in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life thorns and thistles it shall bring forth.
For you and you shall eat of the plants of the field by the sweat of your face you shall eat bread till you return to the ground for out of it you were taken for you are dust and to dust you shall return cursed for men now childbearing and work existed pre-fall and they're essential to existence but now they're worse they're broken and this headship in helping this design for masculinity and femininity is the same it existed pre-fall but now it's worse it's it's messed up we only have gotten the janky version we've seen some blessings of it we've also gotten it broken apart.
So it says this verse 20. the man called his wife's name Eve because she was the mother of all living and that's another thing that's important for for women um her name is life Giver and that's what he names her again indicating some of Adam's Authority in naming his wife but also this elevation of her as the mother of all living that she's life Giver so let's look at our chart that we've made here man he's the work and to keep not good on his own that's masculinity incomplete on its own which is like one of the things that.
First wave feminism articulated was like we need femininity in the world for it to be good and they were right which is good uh he was made first and work is cursed woman a helper fit for him created from Adam's side a celebrated Crescendo childbearing a relationship with a man is cursed and she's called life-giving or life Giver all right let's just talk to men for a second using the work that we've done so far men you were meant to work and to keep it's part of the thing that's given to masculinity that you should play out in your life this means that laziness and there's some like we know this.
But there's something gross about a lazy man it just is it's just bad it's a rejection of masculinity it's a rejection of humanity is you're meant to work you're meant to labor you're meant to cultivate and here's the thing primary examples of masculinity the old Pagan version this is Tim Keller flesh this out I thought it was a helpful he said you got three kind of versions the old Pagan version is all hardness no softness it's just Warrior that's Achilles that's Beowulf that's the the version of we I want my enemy to beg.
For mercy so I can cut their head off while they're doing it that'll be funny it's the old version of masculinity and then he says you jump to the modern version and it's all softness no hardness it's all gentility he said if you actually look at history the hard version of man creates a society the society gets created all the men get soft and a new hard version of man comes in and conquers them that's how history plays out he says only the Christian version that says we're supposed to be both y'all this this concept of work he's a gardener too much patience gentleness that takes how much control over yourself and over your frustration.
And how much trust in the Lord it takes to Garden but he's also a keeper he's to keep the garden he's to defend it and you're like well it was in the what was there to defend oh he immediately lost it from an enemy that it needed to be defended against that word keeper is the same thing we just read where it says God is my keeper it's like the keeper of a gate the keeper of a castle it's the Watchman is the same word.
So you're supposed to be a gardener and a guard which means that a Godly Man is the best person to hand a baby to and the worst person to try to kidnap a baby from that's the way that's supposed to work out tough and tender now this is what Jesus was he could run everybody out of the Temple in the midst of buying and selling I've always said if you think you're bad go throw everybody out of the Barnyard Flea Market on Sunday we'll find out real quick how bad you are bad as.
Jesus but he also was surrounded by women who knew that he understood him that he related to him that he treated them with dignity and worth he was also surrounded by children who felt somehow oddly comfortable and welcomed around him and that's a beautiful picture of masculinity and this idea that he's made first and that Eve comes out of him and is built for him is where the New Testament is going to Anchor this idea of headship and you're going to.
See Peter talk about it you're going to see Paul talk about it this idea of headship this idea of male leadership and it's going to play out throughout the whole Bible it's assumed throughout the whole Bible but we're going to see some words given to it in the New Testament but this idea of headship that men go first in a way is not men go first in luxury and relaxation they're not first in line to get the dessert they go first like a shield they're meant to to take the brunt of difficulty on behalf of everything behind them that's the idea of headship and the reason we cringe at it we'll get to later is.
Because we hadn't done that right that's what that's supposed to look like there's a reason why I watched Men pull up some today when it was raining harder and drop women and children off and then drive away to then walk in the rain that's how that's supposed to work supposed to be some amount of extra difficulty added to men for the sake of those around them and this does not speak ill of women the idea that we should throw men at things and let them die let them carry the brunt of difficulty let them carry the weight of things does not speak ill of women it's part of the song of at last how wonderful.
My brother's a police officer and he was telling me a story about they had a guy in a house they had surrounded the house he was hiding behind the engine block and the wheel well of his vehicle because the guy had been shooting out of it he said he sat crouched like that for like two hours got to eat some pizza eventually they saw robot and the reason they send in the robot is not that the robot's the best cop they have they send in a robot with a little camera on it.
Because it's less valuable than what was outside and when we say that men should go first as a shield that's not a devaluation of women it's a celebration of a value structure that says now we if somebody's gotta go down if somebody's got to be hurt if somebody's got it then that should be men shouldn't be women that's why I'm when you're trying to figure out what does the Bible say about masculinity and femininity you can look to the places where it talks to husbands where it talks to fathers where it talks to wives where it talks to mothers.
Because not all men will be husbands but all husbands will be men two wives but all wives will be women until it's one of the ways that very practically some masculinity and femininity gets fleshed out and one of the pictures given to men in Ephesians 5 is that they would love their wives as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her and it's this idea of sacrifice for the good of another so men do you want others to sacrifice.
For you do you want them to carry the weight so you don't have to do you want them to carry the weight of decision making so that they can be the one who is wrong at the end of the day do you want them to carry the weight of effort and intentionality and work do you say things like well look you just do what you want to with the kids that's fine so that you don't have to to carry that do you shirk at work to let other people do the hard jobs or to you try to walk out what it means to be a shield and to be sacrificial.
For those around you to work and to keep foreign women let's talk about helper fit for him because we have we read helper in a negative sense or like like if my kid was helping me I said oh my little helper as if it's somehow degrading it's not the the primary person that's called a helper in the Scriptures is God we even read it where does my help come from my help comes from the Lord that's that same word it's a Zaire.
And so that this idea of helper is a strong help it's also used for reinforcements in a battle so your help shows up and you get to win because your help is here and that's the way it reads in the text just looking at this text without any kind of historical anything you would just go yeah like this this is wonderful that she's here and this helper can't be like demeaning because of look at how the text reads and the idea of fit.
For him just means complementary across from designed to match together and that's both reproductively and also just skill set wise the way we think the way we approach things uh my wife and I we were we had won tickets from a radio station and we were trying to get the tickets given to us and the communication was just awful it was all over the place and bad and non-existent and eventually my wife said so this radio station is just run by dudes huh there's not a single woman that works here and I busted out laughing.
Because that's really what it felt like it felt like we were just dealing with men because of how bad it was and there's this idea of a woman that's coming in and fixing a whole lot of complimenting a whole lot of where men might be strong they're fixing where all these weaknesses are found this idea of ezer is not condescending there's this picture here of the gift of going second that women get to show up and make things better because men have already roughed in a whole lot of stuff that's that's one of the ways that this plays out it plays out this way in particular in marriage where you get the gift of going.
Second and it's not to be demeaning it's meant to be a gracious gift where you get to go where can I help where can I serve where can I come along and make this better and do things that that you would not otherwise be able to do and this plays out in human history and it plays out in God's good design and it's not meant to be taken as anything but good but there's a reason why it is and that's this curse that comes into the midst of how we relate to one another in gender that he will have dominion over you your desire will be contrary to him.
But he will have dominion over you is how human history has played out so that your desire will be contrary for him is the same phrasing that's used in Genesis 3 when God's giving Cain a warning and says that sin's desire is for you but you must rule over it it's the exact same phrasing your desire will be for your husband but he will rule over you is the exact same phrasing and it means not sin's desire for Cain isn't nice your desire.
For your husband here is this in Conflict desire but it says he'll rule over you but the reason why I think this is given to women the reason why it's a curse said to women is not because they're going to be the primary offenders in this they're going to be the ones causing all the problems it's because they're going to carry the brunt of the curse in how this is going to play out this is the way Kathy Keller puts it as to why she's going to be the only one who writes in this chapter she said we've been writing together.
But I'm writing this chapter on my own and she says it this way when she's talking about gender differences she says I have had more direct experience and talking about and struggling with the difference in gender roles between men and women no surprise there under the influence of the curse in Genesis every human culture has found a way to interpret male headship in a way that has marginalized and oppressed women and it's usually the women who notice and object to this treatment.
First so what was meant to be sacrificial joyful gracious service and celebration in male headship becomes domineering and one of the reasons why we have so much conflict here and pain here and one of the reasons why we dislike so much of what is said when we start talking about what men do and what women do is because of how terribly bad this has gone I've heard a study one time where they asked college students what would you do to prepare to run at night and all the men said stuff like wear shoes get my playlist together a whole lot of the men thought is this a trick question some sort of riddle here.
All the women said things like tell somebody where I was going get a friend plan my route don't listen to music I need to be able to hear my surroundings and most of them said I would not run and that's because men have wielded what God graciously gave us which was a bigger body and strength for wickedness and it's sickening and it's evil and what God meant for every place a man went for everybody else around them to be safer has not been true in human history there was a Twitter thing where someone said hey men don't exist.
For a day what would you do and women were like go out in the world well how in the world and not be scared and that should not be how this has worked but it's how it's worked and so when there's a tension and a rejection of any amount of male Authority it makes a whole lot of sense because if you look historically it's played out really poorly but the response to this is not to reject it but we need it to be redeemed we need the.
Lord to come to work here we'll talk about that in a second the last thing I want you to see is Eve is life Giver there's something intentionally wrapped up in the way that women are meant to be that involves child bearing and child raising and we should not detach that from femininity Abigail favali grew up in the Church she was a feminist scholar and professor she's now professor at Notre Dame but she grew up in the Church and she said.
When she got to college she started trying to figure out who am I supposed to be as a woman and she said she didn't think the Church had good answers but feminism had some really good ones and so she she said she took that on as her new religion until she got pregnant and then she felt like feminism didn't have a lot of answers for the things that she was experiencing going through and she said it is surprising how detached gender philosophy is gender theory is from the phenomenon of motherhood and that we should not separate that out from femininity.
Because it is a beautiful wonderful thing that not all women will be pregnant will get pregnant we'll have children but it's built in this idea of Life Giver is built into femininity so we need a redeemed version of this we need a lot of repentance we need a lot of repentance for where we have degraded the opposite gender or degraded our own gender where we've rejected God's good design and not seeing this as helpful we need a lot of forgiveness for where this has been wielded poorly against us we need a lot of humility as.
Jesus comes in and rescues and redeems us and forgives us and calls us to to faith in him we need a lot of humility and trusting that this is good and that his design for this is good and a lot of humility as we try to figure it out we'll close with this first Peter 2 as Peter is introducing this concept of what it looks like to live out life as Christians and he's going to talk about his uh his call to husbands and wives.
Because he's finishing it up as he's going to give that he starts here and says this beloved beloved I urge you as sojourners and Exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh meaning we're meant as sojourners and Exiles to look different from the culture around us and to control ourselves and to not approach the world the way everybody else approaches it which wage war against your soul keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable so that when they speak against you as evildoers they may.
See your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation what if our culture said Christians are crazy in the way they think about men and women they're crazy in the way they think about headship and Helper and submission they're crazy in the way this is evil it's broken and then they got to come be a part of your community group and then they got to come be invited to dinner at your house then they got to go on vacation with you and they realized that hold on a.
Second there's something different here there's some Joy here there's some peace here there's some rest here maybe they hate men and then they show up and they go well I don't hate these men maybe they hate the idea of the way this would work and play out but then they show up and they go hold on a second this this is this is something different here and they have no they have no argument against the way it actually plays out but that involves a lot of repentance that allows a lot of humility and it involves a lot of faith as we try to figure out what does it.
Look like for us to be Godly men and women in light of the work of Christ in us let's pray Lord we're thankful for the good gift of masculinity and the good gift of femininity we're thankful for your intentional design there and Lord we have been affected by the Fall that has brought in so much confusion and wickedness abuse manipulation anger hurt and so Lord we thank you for the work of Christ that you forgive that you heal that you redeem.
When we ask Lord that you'd help us to be Godly men and godly women who are comfortable in our own bodies and see and celebrate your good design not only for our gender but for the opposite gender in a way that brings delight and glory to your name amen