Wisdom and Womanhood (Proverbs 31:1-31)
Use this guide to help your group discussion as you meet this week.
Transcript
Thank you. Who's man enough to teach on womanhood? Go ahead and grab a Bible.
If you grab one of the blue ones, we're going to be Proverbs 31. That's page 318. If you need a Bible that's large print, the black ones in the rows are large print Bibles. Just ask your neighbor, say, I need one of those. If you don't have a Bible, would love for you to take one of those blue ones with you. That's our gift to you.
And especially as we walk through the Proverbs. The Proverbs talk a ton about wisdom. And having a Bible and reading the Bible is kind of step one. But what the Proverbs present to us is how to live a life of wisdom and to avoid a life of folly or a life of foolishness. And the Proverbs are going to talk about manhood and womanhood. And the passage we're looking at today is kind of the quintessential passage on biblical womanhood.
So go ahead and take a look. We'll look at verse 1. The words of King Lemuel, an oracle, an oracle being a teaching or a saying. We don't really use that word a whole lot. But an oracle that his mother taught him.
The words of King Lemuel, an oracle that his mother taught him. Now, we don't know that much about King Lemuel. He wasn't one of the kings of Israel. It's possible that he was a king from the surrounding area. But what we do know is that when Lemuel was asked about wisdom, what he shared were things that his mom taught him.
That he actually lived a life that was shaped by the wisdom sayings from his mother. And the truth is I resonate with that. My whole life has been shaped by godly biblical women. When I think about my grandmothers, my mom's mom isn't with us anymore. But she was a wonderful person, had a wonderful personality, was always smiling, had a song in her mouth, singing hymns.
Like some of my favorite memories are at her house. My dad's mom loves the Lord. I was just talking with Louise before we got started today. My grandmother is 83, and she just kind of stopped being a volunteer secretary at her church. My mom raised me to love the Lord, discipled me, taught me how to follow Jesus. I am married to a godly biblical woman who loves the Lord.
When I first met her, I was blown away by that, how much she loved the Lord. And I think about the women in my community group. I think about the women in our church. My life has been shaped by godly women. And when you look at King Lemuel, when he shares wisdom, it's coming from his mother. And so if you've been around the church, you have probably heard Proverbs 31 talked about in some form or fashion.
It is kind of that quintessential passage on biblical womanhood. But when I talk to females, a lot of times they look at Proverbs 31 with a mixture of both awe and anxiety. Like, how amazing is this woman and what on earth? In fact, some of you got antsy this morning when you realized that's what we were talking about. You're going, oh, not again. I don't want to do that.
But how you read Proverbs 31 has everything to do with how you understand it and how you live in light of it. So I want to put two things against each other. You can't read Proverbs 31 like it's a women's blog. This is not a mom blog. Every once in a while, Katie shows me some of the things she finds on the Internet. It's like 12 ways to be a mom and still slay in the business world.
Like 43 ways to know whether you're a good mom or not. Like, ladies, when you read those, are they ever really all that helpful? Don't you just kind of get to the end and you're just depressed? They're mostly written by people who are just really good at this one little thing. And they wrote about it and you get to the end of it and it wasn't helpful. And they just kind of wanted to brag on themselves.
That's not how you read Proverbs 31. Proverbs 31 is not a checklist. It's not a scoreboard. The way we look at Proverbs 31 has got to be way more like an adventure story. It's got to be way more like an adventure story. When I was growing up, my mom would read to me at night.
She'd read me all kinds of stories. But some of my favorite ones were the adventure stories. You know the type. It's about the knight in shining armor. And there's this mission that someone has to go on. And he volunteers for it.
And he goes off by himself. And he meets people along the way. He befriends the lonely. They become his band of travelers. They come across a village that's on fire. And they all rush in and rescue all the people.
And along the journey, they come under attack by marauders. And he takes an arrow in the chest. He just like breaks it off. And he doesn't have food for 43 days. Gets to the castle and still slays the dragon and gets the princess. It's an adventure story.
The point of the story is not that you would take an arrow to the chest and break it off. The reason we love those stories is because of the values they highlight. Courage. Sacrifice. Bravery. Friendship.
Love. That's what we get in Proverbs 31. There are a lot of specific examples that are brought up in Proverbs 31. But it's not a checklist. It's not a scoreboard. The reason it's talked about as an ideal is that it's an ideal.
No one woman could ever possibly do all of the things that are talked about here. So our goal today is going to be walk through the specific examples. And we're going to see some values rise to the top. And we're going to look at those and see how we might respond to it. And then we're going to see how the gospel is good news to every woman who chooses to pursue a wise life of following Jesus. Okay?
So that's how we're going to look at it today. And men. Men. Don't tune out. You've got to learn how to support your wives as they try to work through this. Some of you are raising daughters.
Some of you guys are single guys and you're looking for what kind of woman do I want to pursue. Men. You exist in community groups with women who are trying to chase after this. So today is actually very important for our church family to understand what is scripture calling us to here. Okay? So let's pray before we hop into the bulk of this text.
God, we need your help. God, we need you to show us how the good news of the gospel brings hope to women as they pursue you, as they pursue wisdom, so that all of us might respond to this incredibly well. In Jesus' name, amen. All right, so let's kind of get back to the beginning again. Proverbs 31 is broken up into two sections. The first one isn't specific to womanhood, but it does have some wise things that King Luke's name is.
Lemuel's mother shares with him. And then the back half is where the stuff on womanhood comes from. And so we're going to blitz through this a little bit quickly, but go ahead and look at chapter 31, verse 1. It says this. The words of King Lemuel, an oracle that his mother taught him. What are you doing, my son?
What are you doing, son of my womb? What are you doing, son of my vows? So what's the first thing King Lemuel remembers? What are you doing? Any moms or parents resonate with that? Like the next time that just flows out of your mouth to your child, like, remember, that's biblical.
Maybe like give yourself a pat on the back. One of the commentaries I read called this affectionately reproachful. It's like, son, I love you, but what on earth? I'll be honest. That's a lot of how wisdom came to me as a child. But it is.
It's this mother talking to her son. And then verse 3, we begin to see some of the wisdom that she shares. Verse 3. Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings. It is not for kings, O Lemuel. It is not for kings to drink wine or for rulers to take strong drink.
Lest they drink and forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted. Give strong drink to the one who is perishing and wine to those in bitter distress. Let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more. Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute. Open your mouth. Judge righteously.
Defend the rights of the poor and needy. So the mother of the king says, don't chase women and don't chase drunkenness. That's a good word, right? So basically she says, don't be the kind of person that is driven by lust or by desire. She says, don't chase women. Listen, we get a king in scripture who needed to hear that, right?
That's the story of King David. King David didn't go to war with his troop. He's back home. He goes up on the roof. He sees Bathsheba and the rest of that story goes terribly. He needed that wisdom.
Don't pursue drunkenness. Don't use it to put away your misery or to get things from your mind. Treat alcohol appropriately. Why? Because you've got God-given responsibilities that you've been called to. Judge righteously.
Defend the weak. Defend the poor. And so while this isn't specific to womanhood, what we do get a picture of here is a woman who had huge impact on her son. When I think about the ladies in our church, the women all across this room, and the impact that you guys have in all kinds of different spheres, you have the ability to have this kind of effect, this kind of impact. It helps shape King Lemuel. Now we're going to transition again into the passage that is specifically about being a woman of wisdom.
And I want to say this again. The point of this is not to get all hung up in the nitpicky details. I think there are parts of the details that are helpful depending on your situation and depending on your context. But what we're hoping to do is walk through these verses and hope that values begin to rise to the top because values can be applied in a whole wealth of context. And then we're going to post up and say, okay, what did we learn? What did we learn about those values?
Okay? Verse 10. An excellent wife who can find. She is far more precious than jewels. An excellent wife who can find. Or an excellent woman.
See, this whole passage is framed by the idea of showing us the excellent life or woman. And the way he ends is he addresses women. It's the same word in Hebrew. He says they are far more precious, far more valuable than wealth. Men, see that. See the wealth of a godly biblical woman.
Women, see the intrinsic wealth and value. That you have given to you by God. Far more precious than jewels. Verse 11. The heart of her husband trusts in her. And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not harm all the days of her life. The heart of her husband trusts in her. She's trustworthy. He feels safe and secure around her. There's no need for hiding. There's no need for pretense.
Her words and her actions are honest. She's reliable. She comes through. And it says she does him good and not harm. I like that it says both. It's not just that she does him good.
She also intentionally tries not to harm him. That's a good thing. But what this basically could say is that she does him all good all the time. It says all the days. When I think about all the days, that reminds me of wedding vows. I've had the opportunity to preach some of the weddings of the couples in this room.
And when you think about the vows they make to each other, maybe the traditional vows, for richer or poorer in sickness and in health, till death do us part. She's in. She's steadfast. He is secure in her. Verse 13. She seeks wool and flax and works with willing hands.
She's like the ships of the merchant. She brings her food from afar. Now, that's a little bit lost on us because not many of us, not many of you women are making clothes at home. Like you don't just have a pile of flax in a closet. If you do, that's cool. If that's your thing, you know, into DIY and making clothes.
But what I want to emphasize here is the value. This isn't, it's not just about the contextual point. It says that she works with willing hands. So whatever she's been given, whatever she's doing, she's working with willing hands. This isn't begrudging submission. She's taking the opportunity that she's been given and she's working hard.
And she's willing to go to great lengths. It compares her to ships of the merchant. The merchant ships would go out and they would cross the seas and they'd have to fight against waves and weather. And they would go get the goods and they would risk themselves to bring back goods for the people. So it shows us a woman who is willing to work with willing hands and to go to great lengths for those that are entrusted to her.
Those that she cares about. You see that? See how beautiful that is? Verse 15. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. She's diligent.
It says she gets up early. Like super early. It says while it is yet night. Like she wakes the rooster up. This woman is working hard. She is diligent and she's doing so so that she can provide food for her house and maidens.
And again, don't get wrapped up in the thing that she's doing. See her willingness to sacrifice for the good of those around her. You see that? She's willing to sacrifice and get up super early so that she can love and care for those around her. Verse 16. She considers a field and buys it.
With the fruit of her hands, she plants a vineyard. Y'all, we're like, I don't know, six verses in. And she's hustling. Right? She's making clothes. She's working with her hands.
She's getting up early. She's providing food for her house. Here's the point I want to make, though. She's not a prisoner in her own home. You see that? She's out considering a field and buying it.
She's entrusted. She has authority. She has leadership to make some decisions and to execute some plans. And so I want to pause for a second. This isn't a main point of this passage, but I do think it's helpful to point out. When you look at the totality of Scripture, Scripture talks a ton about how women are well-suited as image bearers of God to nurture children and to care for the home.
They're well-suited for it. It's part of how God created them. It's part of what He poured into them. And y'all know that's true. If you had to put women and men beside each other, you know who's more nurturing and caring. It's a beautiful aspect of the way that they get to bear God's image to the world.
It's modeled after Jesus. They get to serve like Jesus. And so we yes and amen where Scripture talks about that. But this verse shows that that's not all she's doing. She bought a field and she planted a vineyard. And so when King Lemuel's mom is describing a woman of wisdom, she doesn't choose between a housewife and a woman working outside the home.
She holds up both as beautiful and valid. And so what I want to say to husbands and wives in the room is that this is something you've got to talk about and work at together. Each family is different. Every couple is different. Your life, the things that you have to do, you have different seasons in life that are going to require different things of husbands and wives. Sometimes one is going to be diminished while the other takes greater weight in terms of responsibility.
And this is something that Katie and I worked at together. So for those of you who know my wife, know she is brilliant. She is unbelievably talented and gifted. She got her bachelor's degree and then she went and got a master's in middle level science. And so when we moved to Plant Mill City Church, she was able to get a job as a middle school teacher. She was able to get a master's degree and did incredibly successful, did a great job.
But when she got pregnant with Emmy, we sat down at the table and discussed and talked about how do we want to do this. And she said, Matt, I want to stay home. I want to stay home with our children. I want to care for them. I want to serve and sacrifice and be a blessing to our family. And honestly, it was a sacrifice for our whole family because I don't know if y'all know this, but church planting is not a lucrative adventure.
But we looked at it and saw it as something that is good and valuable. And it's been a blessing. She's continued to work. She's done part time jobs. And we've talked about when the time comes, when the girls are in school, that that she's she's got opportunities in front of her. But but husbands and wives, we talked about it.
Every family is different. Talk about it. Pray about it. Wrestle with what Scripture says and then live in light of it. Let's keep going.
Verse 17. Says she dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. Dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. Basically, that means she does CrossFit. Not really. If she did CrossFit, it would be written here because you're legally required to tell people if you do CrossFit.
Have I have I mentioned that I did CrossFit? OK, here's literally what it means is that she's gotten herself physically prepared for what's ahead. This is not about curls and planks, though maybe. But it means that she's gotten herself physically prepared for what's ahead. Verse 18. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff and her hands hold the spindle. She's still working, making clothes, buying fields, planting vineyards, selling merchandise. It says her lamp does not go out at night. So not only does she get up while it's night, she lights the lamp and stays up at night.
That's terrifying. Because you read that and you go, OK, so to be a wise woman, I have to burn the candle at both ends, right? Again, this is one of the pictures that should show us this is an ideal. If you get up super early and go to bed super late every night, you actually can't accomplish what verse 17 calls you to. That you would be physically prepared for what's in front of you. See that?
In fact, the value being held up here is a woman who works hard and makes sacrifices to do that. But don't get hung up on those details. Verse 20. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. Two things I want to point out here.
One is that she's generous. She's a generous lady. I think about the women in this room. This room is full of generous women. And so the reason she can do that is that she's worked hard. She's taken care of things.
And so she's not only generous to her loved ones. She has eyes for those that are needy around her. She sees the poor and she is generous towards them. The other thing is that she's prepared. She's not afraid of snow for her household. Obviously, she's up in the third watch of the night making scarves.
She's not worried about the snow. But because of her preparations, everyone around her is secure. Good news for you ladies is that you live in the south. This really isn't a skill you've got to worry about. Except for like once every ten years, the skill you need to be worried about is like how to shank someone when you're going to get bread and milk at the grocery store. So like up in your room at night, like working on your skills.
Not necessarily making warm clothes. But she's generous. And because of her preparations, people around her are secure. Verse 22. She makes bed coverings for herself. Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
She makes bed coverings for herself. Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Does this mean she makes bed coverings and fine linen clothes for herself? Yes. Is it possibly highlighting something more? Also yes.
Talking about bed coverings and fine linen. And you may feel uncomfortable. Just imagine Lemuel having this conversation with his mom about bed coverings and fine linen. Oh mom, stop. Gross. Ew.
But the point here is that a woman of wisdom pursues her husband. Now, everything we've talked about so far is pursuit of her husband. The way that she loves. The way that she serves. The way that she gives of her time. But also, part of that is pursuing her husband intimately.
So that they can be connected. So that there can be oneness and love and joy in their house. Verse 23. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. That's awesome. This wife's hard work and her character are so on display that when people connect her husband to her, it boosts his reputation.
That his reputation is better because she is his wife. And so ladies, that's I think the thread to draw through there is when someone connects you to someone else. Whether that's your siblings or your parents or your children or the people in your community group. And they go, oh, oh, they know each other. Does that lift that person in their eyes? Do they think well of them because they're acquainted with you?
Verse 24. She makes linen garments and sells them. She delivers sashes to the merchant. I've lost count of jobs at this point. I mean, she's doing a good job. She's got lots of side hustles.
She's on it. Verse 25. Strength and dignity are her clothing. And she laughs at the time to come. I love this one. Strength and dignity are her clothing.
Not talking about her actual appearance. Not her actual clothing. But strength and dignity are so much a part of her character and conduct that they seem to her as clothing. To a watching world. She laughs at the time to come because she's prepared. Verse 26.
She opens her mouth with wisdom. And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. A woman of wisdom speaks wisdom. A woman of wisdom speaks wisdom. Well, where does wisdom come from? Wisdom comes from the Lord.
Wisdom comes from His Word. A girl knows her Bible. She knows how to teach it. And how to use it to build others up and to teach and to correct. A woman whose mouth is filled with wisdom so that she can be helpful and gracious. Verse 27.
She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. If there was a verse that could have just been left out, it's that one. Like, she's not lazy. You know. Like, she is working hard. There's no one who's arguing that this lady is being idle.
Her children rise up and call her blessed. And her husband also. And he praises her. Love that. Listen. I love to hear my daughters talk about their mom.
I love it. I love to hear them tell her that they love her. That when they sit at our kitchen table and they're drawing pictures, they're drawing pictures of mom and for mom. When we sit down to eat dinner, they want to sit beside their mom. When it comes time for bed, they want mom to put them to bed. They love their mom.
And that's a beautiful thing. And Spencer said this out the gate. And I just want to second it. If you have a relationship with your mom. It's Mother's Day. If there's one thing that you can call and thank your mom for and praise her for, please do that.
Do that. It says her children rise up and call her blessed. Husbands. I want to challenge you. Because the way that children love to rise up and call their mom blessed is that they have first seen that modeled. They have heard you blessing and praising your wife.
Men. They have heard you in your community group talking in a good way about the women in your group. It also says her husband praises her. So husbands. Take that as a challenge. Like how are your words gracious towards your wife?
Are you pointing out the good things in her? Are you only pointing out the things that you wish were different? So as we walk through this list today, don't have a scorecard in your mind either that like on the car ride home you're going to be like, well, it talked about. First of all, the Father's Day sermon is coming. So don't.
I mean. But men, let's be men of character who see the women in our church for who they are and how hard they work and how much they give themselves. Verse 29. This is kind of the ending here. It's getting to the end. It's in quotes.
It says, Many women have done excellently, but you surpassed them all. Right? Right? The ideal woman that is described here. Amazing characteristics. It is excellent.
But again, the picture, what we need to remember here is that the picture of the ideal woman is just that. It's an ideal. Women. You cannot perfectly embody this. That is not the point of it. But I hope that even as we walk through, you could see a theme.
Again, you saw different values that were beginning to rise to the top. And there's a lot that you can pull out of this passage, but I just want to highlight four. Okay? I want to highlight four for us that are beautiful. And I want to say this. I want to keep saying it.
I see these four characteristics in the women in our church. This is beautiful. I see these. I think you're going to see it too. First one is this. It says, Now, she takes care of the poor.
Her posture is to be focused on others. She sacrifices. She gets up early. She does all these things because she's learned the joy of living a life focused on others. And again, don't get focused on the specifics. Don't get wrapped up in the little nitpicky details.
You could really put anything in here that's focused on other people, and it computes. It gives evidence to this. Here's just a few. A woman of wisdom gives up time in her schedule to talk to you on the phone when you're struggling. A woman of wisdom looks at you and says, Hey, can I watch your kids for you? You seem tired.
A woman of wisdom claps when she sees another woman succeeding or getting opportunities rather than being jealous. You can stretch this line across every aspect of our life because it's a value. And so ladies, I think one of the, and really for all of us, but ladies specifically, I think you can think about what do my thought patterns look like? The words that I say, the things that I do. Am I thinking about myself most of the time? Or do I have a concern in my mind for the needs of others?
When I speak, am I just talking about myself or for my own gain? Or am I building others up? How I use my social media stuff? My actions, are they focused on others or are they just self-serving? And the truth is we see this modeled in Jesus. When Jesus is asked, what's the greatest commandment?
He says, love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength and love your neighbor as yourself. So Jesus tells us right there that the key to a wise life, a full life, is that we would love God and love other people. And there's a ton of joy there. And I'll be honest, guys, this was modeled for me. My mom embodied this through and through. My mom embodied this.
So by the time I was born, my mom had graduated from Clemson. She was, which tells you how wise she is. She was teaching. My brother had already been born. They had found someone to watch my brother. But when it came time for me to be born, her and my dad made the decision for her to stay at home.
My mom was a good teacher. And so her job became getting us to ball practices and getting us to school and taking care of us and taking care of our home. And you might think that she had put her teaching on the back burner. But no, she was selfless. She was others focused. That became teaching Sunday school.
That became teaching VBS. That became teaching and counseling and caring for women. As she taught with other ladies in our church on the phone. As she volunteered as a part of our senior adult ministry. As she took pictures at my wrestling matches and gave them away for free. My mom embodied a selfless, others focused life.
And I want to say this. My mom's value did not come from her being focused on others. It was evidence of the value she knew she had in Jesus. Which gave her the heart and the example to follow how to serve and love others. Second thing. A woman of wisdom cares more about her character than her beauty.
A woman of wisdom cares more about her character than her beauty. We've already seen that this woman is generous. That she's not known for the things that she wears. She's clothed with dignity. The way she holds herself and carries herself. The way she spends her time.
The way she gives of her heart and her service. When she opens her mouth to share wisdom. It says it's kind. There's kindness. And there's a difference between kindness and niceness. Niceness just tells people what they want to hear.
To make them feel good. Kindness knows when wisdom is appropriate for building up. And when wisdom is appropriate to help correct. But you see this embodied in her character. One of the ones I love here is that in verse 12 it says. Remember it says the heart of her husband trusts in her.
This is my wife. I trust my wife. I can be wide open with her. I'll tell you all this story. Katie and I met each other. We were working at a church together.
And you know sparks were flying. You could tell. Like we liked each other. But we weren't dating yet. But one Sunday morning after church service.
We decided to go eat lunch together. So we went to Subway. That's right. We went to Subway. There's not that much in Clinton. Okay.
Clinton, South Carolina. But we went to Subway. And I don't know what happened. But we sat there for hours. And I just felt so comfortable with her. That I just opened up.
I shared stuff from my past. I shared my insecurities. I talked about sin struggles. Things I wasn't proud of in my past. I talked about where I was currently struggling. And since that day.
My heart has not stopped trusting in my wife. I love that. I feel safe with her. I don't have to hide. There's no room for pretense. She makes me feel safe.
Now dating advice. Guys. That worked out well for me. Don't do that. Don't do that. Might not work out good for you.
God was gracious. God is good. Number three. A woman of wisdom finds joy in all situations. A woman of wisdom finds joy in all situations. Now this one's a little bit harder to see.
But it's evident. You see it in adjectives like. She works with willing hands. At no point do you see her slacking or being idle. You don't see any contempt in the things that she does. She's come to find the joy in all situations.
And whether she's at home or planting a field or making food. She finds joy in all situations. She finds joy in all situations. Because. She has learned that obedience. In the tasks that God has called her to.
That's where joy can actually exist. Because when the Bible talks about joy. It's not talking about happiness. It talks. It's more reflective of a deep seated satisfaction. In knowing who God is.
And what he's done. In knowing who you are. And who God's called you to be. That whether things are good. Or things are bad. Or you're doing things you want to.
Or not doing things. Or doing things you don't want to do. You find your joy. In the Lord. That doesn't mean. That.
You might not have to check your heart sometimes. That your motivations. Might not be great. That you might not want to work with willing hands. You might not want to be kind. Or generous.
But what I want to point out here is that. In those moments. The woman who. Repents. Of that heart. Repents of those attitudes.
Gets the joy of the Lord restored to her. Because she's going. I want to choose something better. I'm going to choose. Joy. I repent of my heart.
My action. My attitude. I'm going to choose to find joy. In all of these situations. The fourth thing is this. And this one.
It's the easiest. It's why I put it last. A woman of wisdom. Works hard. No doubt. No doubt.
We've seen it all over the place. It's working with willing hands. It's going to great lengths. It's rising early. Going to bed late. Considering a field.
Buying it. Planting it. Selling stuff. Making stuff. I mean. She contributes to the world.
But. Ladies. I think it's helpful. Again. It's. Regardless of context.
I think a helpful question to ask is. What has God given you to do? And are you doing it to the best of your ability? What has God given you to do? And are you doing it to the best of your ability? Are you.
Being lazy. Or jealous. Or disorganized. And I. I'll be honest. There's not a whole lot of correcting being done right here.
I look across this room. The women in this church work hard. And I'm thankful for it. It is a beautiful gift. You look at these values. And they're.
That. That's amazing. That's beautiful. And I see that. All across this room. And now we get to figure out.
How do we apply that. Into the lives that God has called us to. But I still. I still get worried. That when we read a passage like Proverbs 31. You're still thinking scoreboard.
You're still thinking checklist. Even though I said don't worry about specifics. You've already. Even though we're just looking at values. And so I think there's room. For different kinds of responses to this.
I think you could look at this and respond. I'm actually crushing that. I'm doing. I'm doing pretty good. It may not be perfect. But I'm doing pretty good.
I'm at least doing better. Than all the other women in my community group. That's dangerous. You might be thinking. Well okay. I'm.
I'm. I'm not. I'm not doing great. But I. I'm. I'm trying.
You know. If I just got up a little bit earlier. And I went to bed a little bit later. And I just. Spent some more time with my kids. And I just made some more scarves.
I mean. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not doing it. But. But I.
I can. I can. If I white knuckle. And I. If I just do better. And try harder.
I can. I can do this. It's possible that some of you look at this. And you think. Who cares? You may think I'm my own person.
You might think. Actually. This is a little bit backwoods. This is a little bit oppressive. Haven't we moved beyond this? We really got to talk about.
Ladies serving others. With. The weight of world history behind that. Are you serious? You see this is. Narrow minded.
The one I fear the most. Is the person who says. I'm crushed by this. Not a one of those things am I doing. None of this is present. I am an utter failure.
And what I want to say. Is that all four of those responses. Miss the point. They miss the point. I've got good news. Verse 30.
Charm is deceitful. And beauty is vain. But a woman who fears the Lord. Is to be praised. Give her the fruit of her hands. And let her works praise her.
In the gates. A woman who fears. The Lord. Is to be praised. This. Is the woman of wisdom.
Ladies. It says that charm. Is deceitful. Living your life. And doing things. For the sole motivation.
Of gaining the approval of others. Or so that they might. Like you. Or see you as good. And valuable. Is deceitful.
It's a lie. You will never be able to do enough. Or say enough. To actually feel. Accepted. And approved of.
If you look at life that way. Beauty is vain. We are all getting older. We are. It's all. It's falling.
I had to get a. A steroid shot. In my shoulder. This week. We are. We are getting older.
It is. Fleeting. It is. Vanity. But what this passage.
Ends with. Is the pinnacle. A woman. Who fears. The Lord. Is to be praised.
That's the woman of wisdom. That's what. Everything else. Hinges on. Is that. Truth.
A woman who fears. The Lord. Is to be praised. You know. We talked about. The different ways.
You can read this passage. A mom blog. Versus. Versus. An adventure story. Here's.
Here's the good news. Jesus comes. As the fulfillment. Of the adventure story. He actually comes. And is that sacrificial.
He comes. And is that loving. He comes. And is that generous. He goes hard. He goes.
Hard. All the way to the cross. So that he might die. For every area. That you fall short. Ladies.
Turn your eyes. To Jesus. Turn your eyes. And fix your eyes. On Jesus. Jesus himself.
Said beautiful things like. Seek first. The kingdom of God. And his righteousness. And all these things. Will be added to you.
Ladies. Seek him first. Above all else. And then let him go to work. On your heart. And on your soul.
Jesus says. Come to me. Come to me. All you. Who are weary. And heavy laden.
And I will give you rest. Ladies. Are some of you tired? Lord. He gives rest. He gives rest.
The good news of the gospel. For you ladies. And for all of us. Is that we run. To Jesus. The Proverbs say this.
Over and over and over again. The woman. The man. The person who fears the Lord. Is the wise person. We make Jesus.
The sole focus. Of our lives. And then he takes care of the rest. So that when we do good. When we work hard. And when we accomplish these things.
It's to his praise. And when we. Struggle. And we. Repent. And we ask for his forgiveness.
It's to his praise. So the band's going to come back up. And we're going to respond. In a second. By standing and singing. But I just want to return.
To those. Four different perspectives. That might be here in the room. For the lady. Who maybe looks at this. And says.
I'm crushing this. You know. I. I'm at least doing better. Than all the other women. Around me.
I would say. Don't go that way. If you function. As your own savior. Who picks you up. When you fall.
Look. Look to a better savior. For the woman. Who says. I'm not. I'm not doing this.
If I just do a little bit better. And if I just. Try a little bit harder. I. Absolutely.
Sister. Strive. And work hard. Grace. Is not. Opposed.
To effort. But it. Is opposed. To earning. Look to Jesus. For the one who says.
Who cares. You know. This is. Backwoods. It's oppressive. See.
The son. Of God. Become a human. The son of man. Came to serve. Not to be served.
And to give his life. As a ransom. For many. And see. The joy. It's not always easy.
But it's better. And for the person. Who says. I am. Crushed. By this.
I have failed. I have fallen. Short. Know that he was. Crushed. For you.
Let's pray. God. I pray. That we would see. The wisdom. In fear of you.
Reverence of you. All of you. Would be the key. To wisdom. In our lives. And that is.
Perfectly displayed. In Jesus. Who. Who embodied all of this. And gave himself for us. So that we might.
Be forgiven. And might have life. And might. Chase after you. So Lord.
Help us to remember. Just how far. You are willing to go. So that we might have joy. And salvation. In you.
In Jesus name. Amen.