Wisdom and Righteousness
Use this guide to help your group discussion as you meet this week.
Transcript
Good morning. My name is Chet. I'm one of the pastors here. Grab your Bibles. Go to Proverbs chapter 1. We have spent our summer in the Proverbs the past couple of months working through it.
We've made it all the way to chapter 1. And Proverbs is a collection of wisdom sayings, and so we've approached it differently than when we usually work through a book of the Bible. Usually, you know, the book of the Bible progresses intentionally. Proverbs has some stuff that kind of anchors it at the beginning, some stuff that anchors it at the end. But we've walked through kind of topically addressing some of the ideas that Proverbs addresses over and over.
And so today we're going to finish up our series in the book of Proverbs talking about righteousness. So at the beginning of Proverbs, we read this section in chapter 1, and we said that some of what the Proverbs is getting at is that it wants us to grow in wisdom and that it's going to teach us how to be wise, that it's going to develop us in wisdom. And as we read through it, we got to Proverbs 1-7 that says this, The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. Fools despise wisdom and instruction. And so the beginning of growing in wisdom is that we would actually fear the Lord, that we would trust Him.
In some ways, God's coming and saying, This is how to live in the world to enjoy the world I created. In some ways, it's like unboxing a board game, and then you get the instructions out and you read, How do I play this board game? You don't unbox it and go, Instructions are for losers and throw those away and then say, Let's do this. And so what He's doing is He's saying, I created the world. Let me give you wisdom on how to live in it and live in it well. And so He says some things we don't necessarily agree with, and so that's where we begin with the fear of the Lord.
That we trust Him. That we want to honor Him and obey Him and that we want to follow Him. And so that when He tells us how to live and to live well, we listen. That's the beginning of wisdom. But if the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and we follow through and listen to wisdom, the end of wisdom is righteousness.
It says that in chapter 1. It says that twice in chapter 2. I want to show you Proverbs 2.9. It says basically if you listen, then you will understand righteousness and justice and equity and every good path. Or Proverbs 2.20, it's saying again, if you listen, it says, So that you will walk in the way of the good and keep to the paths of the righteous. That if we follow wisdom, we walk in righteousness.
If you go to the school of wisdom, you graduate with a degree in righteousness. If wisdom is your sensei, you get a black belt in righteousness. Now, that's how that works. And so that as we've talked through all the things we've talked through over the course of the summer, which has been a good bit. We've talked about parenting, manhood, womanhood, friendship, words, anger, money, work, decision making, sexual purity, lying. If you're like me, as I read through that list, you had a little PTSD because some of those weeks weren't that fun.
We've walked through these things and we've said this is what wisdom looks like. We could have also just said this is what righteousness looks like. This is how to live rightly in God's world. But as we finish up the book of Proverbs, we want to develop our understanding of righteousness a little better. So that we can really appreciate and kind of understand what it's calling us to.
Because the reality is we have kind of a natural draw, a desire for wisdom that I think is a little distinct from our desire for righteousness. Here's what I mean. If we said, hey, would you like wisdom? You'd say, yes. I'd love wisdom. I'd love to be wise.
And if we came and said, hey, would you like righteousness? You'd be like, sure. I guess. What do you mean? Where? How much?
Like, what are we talking about? What do you mean by righteousness? How's that going to affect my life? There's this general, it's a little bit like chivalry sometimes the way we use the word righteousness. You kind of know what it means. And you know that people used to care about it a lot.
But you're not sure how it affects you. And y'all know that since I'm a pastor, I'm supposed to care about it and talk about it. But I'm not even sure I'm doing it right because I'm a Baptist pastor in the South. I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to pronounce it like righteousness. You really got to grab the word and break all the syllables out of it. You know, you got to shake them out to get to really talking about it the way you're supposed to.
There's this general sense of like, what do we mean by righteousness? What? How does that benefit me? And in some ways, what God is doing when he teaches us wisdom, he's calling us into righteousness. And it's not that Toto ran around and pulled the curtain back for us. But that God himself is pulling the curtain back and saying, do y'all want what's good in life?
Do y'all want to see how I designed this? Do you want to have joy? Do you want to have hope? Do you want to have security? Do you want to have things work out well for you? Then come follow me in wisdom and righteousness.
It makes things better. Wickedness usually works well short term. Makes things easier quickly. Righteousness, we're told, often makes things more difficult at first, but then ultimately leads us to life and betterness. And that's what he's saying. The other thing is I think we have a vague picture of righteousness that affects us.
We don't have as clear a picture as we should. But my wife and I, when we first got married, we started watching through the Band of Brothers, which is a TV show. We had borrowed a DVD box set from my brother because that's how you used to watch things if you were going to watch them. You often bought box sets. It used to be VHSs. We had DVDs because they were moving up in the world.
And so we were watching this DVD box set of the Band of Brothers, and we were thoroughly enjoying it. And it worked really well for us for the first couple of episodes until they went to war. And when they went to war, we ceased to be able to watch. Not because it was too violent, but because my wife could no longer follow the story. Because they were all wearing the same uniform. They all had on helmets.
All of their faces were dirty. And she could no longer tell who was who. She was using other clues to know. Haircuts. Hair color. But like we would have these discussions all the time where she would go, wait a second, wait a second.
Why did he just kill his best friend? I'm like, who killed? What are you talking about? Who's best friend? His best friend. He just killed him.
They were best friends. I was like, wait, wait, the guy that just died? She's like, yeah. This is a legit conversation we had. I said, he was a German soldier. We just met that guy.
She was like, no, that's the guy from... I was like, no, it's not. She would get surprised because people would come back from the dead. She'd be like, I thought that guy died. I'd be like, what guy? She'd be like, that guy.
I'm like, that guy just showed up. It was tearing our young family apart. So we just had to give up on it. We watched the Marvel movies work really well for us because Captain America and Iron Man don't look anything alike. It's easy to keep up with. And so whatever she uses to categorize people, it apparently isn't like nuanced faces.
Which I'd like to think I was handsome, but I married a person who doesn't even notice faces, so I don't know. But she had a general picture of each person and then when they became too similar. And I think in some ways that's the way we are with righteousness. If someone asked you to define righteousness, you'd be like, you know, doing right. And if they pressed you, you'd eventually kind of usually flip it to just saying negative statements. And not negative like righteousness is bad, but we define it by what righteousness doesn't do.
Well, you know, you don't lie and you don't pursue like sexual sin. You don't sleep around and you don't, you know, like cuss or chew tobacco. I don't know. There's a lot of things you don't do and that makes you righteous. And if that's your only definition, some of you own old dogs that would make excellent Christians. Because they don't do anything.
But righteousness has to be more robust than that. What God's calling us to has to be a bigger picture. And when he calls us into wisdom and he calls us into righteousness, we need to have a better definition. And so that's the hope this morning is that we would have a more full definition of righteousness. And the first thing I want us to see as Proverbs paints this picture up for us is that righteousness has a social aspect. That it is not simply personal morality.
That is a part of righteousness, but it's not simply personal morality. Let's look at Proverbs 11, 10. Proverbs 29, 10. To benefit those around them. It is not simply that they're personally going to do what is right, but there's some benefit to being surrounded by, being led by, being cared for by the righteous. That if you are righteous, it's not just a benefit to you personally as you relate to the Lord.
It is that it begins with a fear of the Lord, but that in some ways God then commissions us in righteousness to be his agents in the world to make the world better through righteousness. Through doing what is right. Not simply not doing what is wrong. Now the wicked do what's wrong and they harm others, but the righteous do what is right and they benefit others. Bruce Waltke, who we've used his commentary. Goodness, that word just ran out of my head.
Commentary on the Proverbs throughout this series says this. He says, That's a helpful, memorable way to understand how righteousness and unrighteousness work. How wickedness and righteousness work. That righteousness will disadvantage, the righteous will disadvantage themselves to advantage those around them. To make things better for those around them. That they'll go out of their way.
They'll take up their time. They'll take up their money. Their energy will be spent at their own expense to benefit others. And the wicked do the exact opposite. They're trying to figure out how they can get out of others to benefit themselves. That's a really good, simple test for am I living righteously in my relationships?
Am I trying to advantage myself out of this relationship? Is it about what I get out of it? Or am I disadvantaging myself for the sake of my roommate? For the sake of my friends? For the sake of my spouse? One of the only places we do this very easily and clearly and have some of the most joy and some of the best relationships is with children.
Parents to children naturally do this because you just have to disadvantage yourself for the sake of your children. And you'll notice that you really love your children. You've been around parents and they adore their children. And their children are the worst. You've seen their children and you're like, what? But that's because they've set themselves to act righteously in that relationship.
Where they are disadvantaging themselves for the advantage of the others. And the truth is we can have joy and righteousness in all relationships if we'll approach it that way. So that's why it says, when the righteous increase, the people rejoice. But when the wicked rule, the people groan. I want to show you a couple places that it shows up. Proverbs 12, 26.
One who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor. But the way of the wicked leads them astray. So that by righteousness, those who are around you benefit. That if you work with righteous people, it's not just that they show up and do what they're supposed to. They do. But they make the whole place better.
All the people around them benefit. They help others. They give extra time to work on projects that aren't theirs. They stay late to help fix things that they didn't cause. They disadvantage themselves for the advantage of others. That's righteousness at work.
That if you live in a neighborhood with righteous people, it's not just that they tend to their own stuff and they mind their own business. They do. But they also help tend to the things around them. They keep an eye on things. They care for other people. That's righteousness at work.
Proverbs 29, 7 says, A righteous man knows the rights of the poor. A wicked man does not understand such knowledge. The poor, as a whole class, aren't much benefit to anyone. The only way historically people have benefited from the poor was to enslave them. To take away what they had and use it for their own gain. But it says, The righteous knows that what makes you valuable isn't what you offer.
It's not how I can take advantage of you. That's not where value comes. That you have rights intrinsically. And the righteous understand that, but the wicked don't. So the righteous care about those that are around them.
Care about those that can't pay for things. Care about those who can't get along on their own. Care about those who are weak and who are poor and who are in trouble. One of the ways to understand if we are righteous as an individual or as a church is, Do we care about the poor? Do we care about those who are hurting around us? Or is it just, If you can carry your own weight, great, you're welcome.
And if you can't, Sorry. It's one way to understand the righteousness of your group. Is does your group rally around those who are hurting and disadvantage themselves for their sake to help them? Or do they just get overwhelmed by them and burdened by them and bothered with them? It's not just the poor. It says this, Proverbs 12, 10, Whoever is righteous has regard for the life of his beast, But the mercy of the wicked is cruel.
That the righteous are a benefit to everything that's around them. They care for their animals. They tend to their animals. They love their animals, even if they don't like their animals. One of the tests of righteousness is how do you respond when you are the one in power? How do you respond when you're the one in control of the situation?
How do you respond? Not when you're an employee, but when you're a boss. When you're the supervisor. When you're the older sibling. How do you respond in the situations in your marriage and in your friendships and in your roommate situations where you're the one who has the most control and the most say? Does your strength benefit those that are below you?
Does your wisdom benefit those that are unwise? Does your money benefit those that don't have money? That's righteousness. That it's not simply I behave and don't do the things I'm supposed to don't do. But it's actually that we're at work as agents of the Lord to benefit those around us.
So the righteous benefit and care for those that they have the opportunity to care for. The option to care for they do. The other thing that the righteous do is they oppose wickedness. Proverbs 12, 6. It says the words of the wicked lie in wait for blood, but the mouth of the upright delivers them. Proverbs 20, 26.
A wise king winnows the wicked and drives the wheel over them. That wisdom and righteousness at work oppose wickedness. And it's difficult to oppose wickedness. Proverbs 24, 24 and 25 says, Whoever says to the wicked you are in the right will be cursed by peoples, abhorred by nations. But those who rebuke the wicked will have delight and a good blessing will come upon them.
But so often the wicked are very difficult to deal with. They're problematic. They cause drama. They lie. It's often much more easy to appease the wicked than it is to stand up to the wicked. It's often much more easy to convince the other nice people around you to help you appease the wicked rather than to stand up to the wicked.
I was reading recently a story of a husband and wife. They were getting a divorce and the husband had basically led the family into this through a lot of rebellion and sin. And then as they were going through the divorce, the husband was doing absolutely everything he could to destroy the wife. Borrowed heavily against their house. Quit making payments on the house. Eventually locked her out of the house.
Took all the kids' toys away. Locked them up. Lied to the kids about the mom. Was trying to get her saddled with a lot of debt. Was just, I mean, at every turn was doing everything he possibly could to cause problems. And the wife has a lawyer.
The wife has a therapist. The kids have a therapist. They're working through all this. And the guy who was one of the therapists in this situation said that as he was dealing with the wife later on, he began to realize that everybody around her, although they knew the husband was wrong, was telling her, why don't you just meet him halfway? Why don't we just, like, let's just try to work this out with him. The banks, the police, the lawyers, the people who were dealing with the therapy for the children were saying, well, look, can't we just, and the reason was she was easier to deal with than he was.
And eventually, the guy who's writing this book said he asked one of the people, why didn't you say all this about how he'd handled the children? And they said, look, frankly, I just didn't want to have to deal with it. I didn't want him attacking me. And the truth is, isn't that how it works? You have someone in your family who causes problems, and it's just much easier to tell everybody else in the family, can't y'all just deal with it rather than us standing up to this person? You got someone at work that causes problems.
You got a boss, a supervisor, and it's like, isn't it easier to just do what they ask? Can't we all just, let's just bear with it rather than standing up to them? The reality is the righteous step in at great cost to themselves to defend the weak. Most people who stand up to bullies end up with a bloody nose. That's just how it works. And there are times where you, in the midst of righteousness, should end up not getting a promotion because you stood up to somebody for the sake of others, not just for your own name and your own pride, and I'm going to make sure I look awesome.
That's not what this is talking about. But that you did some work that took some backbone to stand in righteousness, to defend and to care, and it's hard to do. So the righteous care for those around them, they benefit those around them, they defend those around them, and they care for the long-term souls of those around them. Proverbs 11, 30. The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life. Whoever captures souls is wise.
Now the tree of life, in the scriptures, is the tree that gives eternal life. And so then it says capturing souls, and what this is saying is that the righteous help others live eternally. It keeps going. It says again in Proverbs 24, 10 through 12, it says, If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small. Rescue those who are being taken away to death. Hold back those who are stumbling to the slaughter.
If you say, Behold, we did not know this. Does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who keeps watch over your soul know it? And will he not repay man according to his work? Part of what the righteous does is that they step in in the day of adversity and take on some difficulty for the sake of carrying and defending. Now, that proverb includes things like World War II.
To step in in the day of adversity to help those who are being carried to the slaughter. But for us, who have been sent with a mission to see people redeemed from hell and wrath because of their unrepentant sin, it also includes your co-workers that work the night shift with you who are stumbling to the slaughter and that later we can't say, well, I didn't really know that we were meant to care for their souls. That includes those that live in your neighborhood. That it includes those that go to class with you. That it includes those in your community group who are choosing sin currently over loving Jesus.
And it's so much easier to just say, well, let's love them. Let's be nice to them. Let's hope they figure that out rather than to sit them down and say, you are wrong and you're headed in the wrong direction and we love you enough to oppose you because you're stumbling to the slaughter. As the chorus of America says, if you say anything to correct them, you don't love them. We have to fear the Lord and trust His wisdom and stand in the way even though it's difficult and it costs us. As the chorus of America sings that you should mind your own business and not try to convert people and not try to get in their way to talk to them about the Lord and not harass people and not do any of these things that they're going to add these labels to and that somehow we're oppressing people by helping them submit to Jesus.
And we'd say, I don't care. I can't let people stumble to the slaughter. I can't stand before the Lord later and say, I didn't know because I knew. I knew. It says, does not he who keeps watch over your soul know it and will he not repay man according to his word? Now, as the Proverbs paints up for us and fills in for us what righteousness looks like and as we've done this this whole time being called into wisdom and as we've been called into wisdom been called into repentance and righteousness.
I don't know about you but it turns out I'm a sinner. Some of these weeks were very difficult. There were weeks where in preparation I had to repent before I could get up here and even say these things. I had to continue repenting afterwards. We talked about parenting. Manhood and womanhood.
Friendship. Words. The rejection of correction and the pursuit of foolishness. We talked about anger. Money. Work.
Decision making. Sexual purity. And honesty. And we've looked further today at what righteousness looks like and I'm inclined to say I don't think I'm righteous. And maybe that's what you're thinking. I may not be righteous.
I don't know if I'm doing this. Honestly, when righteousness was just don't do bad things I didn't even do that. I just picked some of the bad things I didn't do and tried to act like those were the most important. But as soon as it becomes I've got to defend people and I've got to care for those around me and every time I'm in a position of power I'm supposed to use it to defend and care for those who are disadvantaged around me. I'm supposed to be disadvantaged to advantage them. I don't know if I'm righteous.
And if that's you and if that's been you throughout this series that you've consistently come face to face with your own foolishness and sin I'll have something that might make you feel a little better. The New Testament also talks about this. Romans 3 says this. Next one. As it is written none is righteous no not one. You're not righteous but at least you were right about not being righteous.
That make you feel better? You're not big capital R right but you were right about this. Thank goodness for small victories. that the reality is as we come face to face with our sin we aren't righteous. And so then you go okay hold on a second what's it say next? Because our general tendency is okay then I better get it together. I better get to work.
Some of us as we've come through this series that some of your response is okay I'm going to get to work I'm going to do this better I've been bad at it but I'm going to do better I just need more of me and the problem is as you found that as you pressed into I need more of me is that the problem was you so more of you makes it more better. So this is what it says next. It doesn't say get to work. It says this Romans 3 20 is 10 verses later it says for by works of the law no human being will be justified justified in his sight to be justified means to be made right. No human being will be righteous in his sight since through the law comes knowledge of sin.
So we've seen more of what he wants from us and what did we see? More of where we sin. Through the law comes knowledge of sin the more we've seen what he desires of us the more we've seen oh I didn't realize that was a category look at that it's like at the end if you started school and then at the end of the semester when they gave out grades there were a couple classes you didn't realize you were supposed to be taking so you have F's in them. That's what this feels like sometimes you're reading the Bible and you're like oh look at that I'm failing at other things I didn't even realize that was a class I was supposed to be in.
That's what this feels like sometimes you're reading the Bible and you're like oh look at that I'm failing at other things I didn't even realize that was a class I was supposed to be in. For some of us that's a nightmare. You have a recurring one of those where you realize it's the end of the semester and you didn't realize you were in that class and sometimes that's what the Bible's like it's like oh I didn't even realize that was a thing. But by works of the law no one is made righteous
Which means that you cannot leave here and go okay I'm going to get bigger I'm going to get better I'm going to get stronger I'm going to do this I'm going to find out give me the rules I'll do them. The reality is what you will find is that maybe you can keep that going for a while but what it ends up doing is leading you into further sin and further seeing your sin or that becomes so unbearable you cease to be able to see your sin and you begin
To convince yourself you're fine and you begin to promote your own self-righteousness which is not the righteousness of God so how do we become righteous well the New Testament has more to say than just this we become righteous through Jesus Christ the righteous who actually perfectly embodies righteousness he fears the Lord and submits to his Father and comes sent by him he says this multiple times that I do the will
Of the Father a thing that we're incapable of doing at least consistently and perfectly that he has perfect personal morality that he's tempted in every way that we are but he's without sin that he does not sin that he does not pursue sin that he was a blessing to those who were around him and every time he came into contact with someone who needed something from him who was downhill from him
He blessed and cared for and worked in that he opposes the wicked personally in his day to the point of them killing him and ultimately eternally to the point of facing off with Satan sin and hell taking the keys from death and ultimately crushing death through the power of the resurrection so that he rules forever because he defends the weak
And opposes wickedness and that he has a day of wrath that is coming for the wicked and he cares about the souls of those on earth that he so cares about your soul and the fact that you're stumbling to the slaughter that he would come and not stumble to the slaughter but walk headlong into it that he would set his face towards Jerusalem so that his disciples
Would say come let's go die with him that he would ultimately be sacrificed brutally beaten murdered and die so that the unrighteous could be made righteous by the blood and the work and the resurrection of Christ the hope is not that the book of Proverbs would give you wisdom so that that's
All you'd need and you could walk out of here and get it together the hope is that the book of Proverbs would get you wisdom so that you would fall at the feet of the Lord in fear that he might rescue and redeem you so Galatians 2 says this yet we know that a person is not justified made righteous by works of the law
But through faith in Jesus Christ so we also have believed in Christ Jesus in order to be justified by faith in Christ and not by works of the law because by works of the law no one will be justified you are not good enough Jesus is that's why it's good news there's a thing that we have the Baptists do they go to
Schools and they have a thing after school called the good news club it's not the good behavior club if it were Baptists wouldn't be allowed in it this isn't the good behavior club we don't gather on Sunday to grow in good behavior we gather to grow in good news and we gather at times
To see our sins so that we would more dearly love our Savior that we would have the wounds from a friend that would lead us to redemption and to joy and to hope and to worship that's why we raise our hand and sing that he redeemed us that he saved us that he rescued us I once was
Dead in sin alone and hopeless that's a weird thing to sing y'all y'all ready to sing something good I deserve to die I'm the worst yeah but then we get to the joy of a risen Savior who so loved us that he would die for us and do you want to know the primary thing that the Proverbs have to say about
Righteousness I want to show you two more passages in the New Testament and then I want us to see that it says 1 Corinthians 1 30 it says because of him you are in Christ who became to us wisdom from God the wisdom from God righteousness he became
To us righteousness and sanctification and redemption so that it is written let the one who boasts boast in the Lord that we would walk out of here today and people would say are you righteous and you wouldn't go yeah because I took the Proverbs class and I got it together you'd walk out of here and go yeah because Jesus is great let's go get some chicken and have some lunch
He's good I have hope that we ought to see our sin we ought to be broken of our sin and then we might turn to see that Jesus became for us wisdom and righteousness and sanctification which means he makes us good and redemption which means he gets rid of all of our old bad then he pulls us out of it and then we might boast in the Lord we would praise Jesus because he saves sinners
That we really can sing a song that's I'm the worst Jesus is great thank you Lord 2nd Corinthians 521 says for our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin so that in him we might become the righteousness of God Jesus Christ came to redeem you so that at the end of all eternity he might be praised not you so that as you try to get it together and you say what he really wants from me is to get it together so that I might stand in front of him later and have
Done this and that's to the praise of your own glory but he made him to be sin so that we might be made the righteousness of God through the work of Christ to the praise of his glorious grace and his name for all eternity you say well I'm a terrible sinner yes he's a glorious savior let's praise him for all eternity I shouldn't be in heaven no you shouldn't and that honors and glorifies Christ who can redeem a sinner like you so that he receives glory but do you want to know the primary thing that the
Proverbs has to say about the righteous says it 28 times the righteous endure the righteous make it to the end and in Christ that is fully forever true for you you can read the Proverbs it'll tell you 28 times if you've been made righteous by Christ you will not be lost you will not be crushed you will not be defeated not because you're good enough or you're strong enough but because Jesus is good enough and he's strong enough and you are in him if you climbed in a tank and then bulldozed through the city you wouldn't say look at how
Strong I am you would say look at how great this tank is and we have climbed in Christ and in his righteousness he bulldozes through everything and gets us to the end Proverbs 24 15 says lie not in weight as a wicked man against the dwelling of the righteous do not do no violence to his home for the righteous fall seven times and rises again but the wicked stumble in times of calamity you know the righteous have seven lives some of you are like I've fallen I'm in the middle of sin I'm broken I don't know how I'm gonna get out of this you can find anybody
In this church has been following Jesus for some time and they'll go yeah I was there in 1992 yeah I felt that in 2002 yeah I thought that last year but the righteous fall and rise again because Jesus fell and rose again and ultimately we will rise again Proverbs 10 25 when the tempest passes the wicked is no more but the righteous is established forever Proverbs 10 27 the fear of the Lord prolongs life but the years of the wicked will be short Proverbs 10 30 the righteous will never be removed but the wicked will not dwell in the land Proverbs 12 7 the wicked are overthrown and are no more but the house of the righteous will stand 28 times
The righteous will stand the righteous will make it the righteous will not fall the wicked will be destroyed and one day there will be a kingdom that belongs to the righteous those made righteous by Christ and we will stand forever to the glory of Christ may we grow in wisdom by loving Jesus and following him in righteousness and freedom now this wisdom is practical and it's helpful and the hope is that you would live a life of wisdom and righteousness in your relationships that you would live a life of wisdom and righteousness confessing your sexual sin confessing your anger confessing and repenting of lying that you would walk in wisdom and righteousness so that you might be a good agent of Christ on earth
Disadvantaging yourself to the advantage of others which he ultimately did fully and beautifully in the cross that we might be righteous people and we might be the type of free righteous people who do not have to be righteous on our own to be okay so that we are free and enjoy following Christ and at times mourning our sins so that we might more fully praise the Savior band's going to come back up and as we close the book of Proverbs the hope is that we would see our sin so that we would repent and be redeemed and be rescued that he would become to you wisdom and righteousness and sanctification and redemption and salvation and king do not leave thinking I'm good enough I'll be okay do not leave thinking well I'm not good enough but I can get there leave in Christ made good
Through his work to his glory for all eternity that you might stand with the unconquerable righteous redeemed of Christ because Christ is the unconquerable righteous king and you come to him by faith which means you ask him to save you you come to him by faith saying I trust that you did this and I trust that my hopes in you you come to him by faith not works the only reason you'd bring a resume was to show why you shouldn't be included so that he might take it and cover it by his grace to the praise of his glorious name we get to endure forever let's pray God I pray that nobody would leave here unrighteous because righteousness is given to those who hide in your name that nobody would leave here in their own strength that nobody would leave here trying to do better at the works of the law because by the works of the law no one will be made righteous we know that that will not redeem it will not save and Lord may we leave rejoicing as we see our sin may we rejoice not that we're sinners but that we have a savior who redeems and sanctifies and fixes and as we feel low and destroyed and like we have failed so many times over may we rejoice that the righteous fall and rise again because you're the king fell and rose again and with you we will rise again we ask all this in Jesus name amen
Wisdom and the Will (Proverbs 15:13-17)
Use this guide to help your group discussion as you meet this week.
Transcript
My name is Chet. I'm one of the pastors here. Grab your Bibles and go to Proverbs chapter 15. I am very thankful today for our community groups and for people seeking to be missionaries in everyday life. I remember Eric came and said, hey, I'm inviting my friend Parker. I'm going to try to get him to come hang out with our church, hang out with our group.
I was like, is he a Christian? Is he not a Christian? He said, um, he thinks he's a Christian. I'm not so sure. Sweet. We'll see.
Let him come on. You know, we'll be glad to have him and be a part of things. And that's that's our hope. That's what we see so often. If you saw, he said they begin to pressure me to get into a group. It's the best harassment he's ever received in his entire life.
It was to come be around people, to come join us in life and to hopefully come be known and loved by us so that you can know and love Jesus and see that he knows you and loves you. And that's our hope. That's what we talk about all the time. That's one of the reasons why we don't have an overly complex schedule as a church. We want you to go be out in the world as a Christian who loves people, who loves Jesus. We want you to join after work social events so that you can help be a missionary.
We want you to be getting to know your neighbors and hosting barbecues and doing stuff with your group to be on mission so that we can see people come to know Christ. There are people that you know right now who don't know Jesus, but maybe one day we'll all get to gather and celebrate that they've placed their hope in Christ. Not that they've become a good person, but they've been made holy and blameless and above reproach through the work of Jesus. I can testify that Parker is holy and blameless and above reproach through Jesus and that he is personally not a very good person. Just like the rest of the people in our group that we're here, just like the rest of the people in our church that we're here only through the work of Jesus, not through our work.
So we're glad to be able to gather on Sundays to study the Bible together. We're going to be in chapter 15 in the book of Proverbs. We're going to look mostly at 13 through 17. There'll be like the rest of our time in the Proverbs. There'll be other verses that we look at, but this is kind of where we're going to spend most of our time this morning. I want to start by talking to y'all about reading a quote and talking to you a little bit about a guy named Viktor Frankl.
He was an Austrian Jew. He lived in Austria in the lead up to World War II. And in World War II, he got married and nine months later, he and his entire family were taken to a German concentration camp. He would spend the remainder of World War II in a German concentration camp. And he, his wife, his father, his mother, and his brother would all die at the hands of the Nazis in concentration camps. In Auschwitz, where he was for some of his time, they would wake up at 4.30 or 5.30 in the morning.
They would give them some tea or some imitation coffee. That's what they had for breakfast. Then they would work till the middle of the day. Then they would give them some sort of soup or stew. Then they would work again until 7 o'clock at night when they would be given a ration of some bread or some cheese.
Not nearly the amount of calorie intake they needed to work 11 hours a day. Most of the time when they brought in the trains, they would immediately take the females to gas chambers and put the rest to work. Most people there slowly starved. And he lived his time through that. When he was freed over a nine-day period, he wrote a book called The Man's Search for Meaning. And this is a quote from that book.
He says, Everything can be taken from a man but one thing. The last of the human freedoms. To choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances. To choose one's own way. We're going to read another quote from that book later. But we're going to start there.
This idea that he shares and that the Proverbs agree with, which is that you have some control over your attitude. That you have some control over your internal disposition. That you have some control in how you respond to external circumstances. Now, at the simplest, kind of far inside of that, it really is just having a good attitude. Stuff that I tell my six-year-old. When he's upset about something.
I say, yeah, you can't control everything that happens to you. But you can control how you respond. You can control how you act. Well, I'm having a rough day. Yeah, sometimes we have rough days. But you can make it worse.
Or you can make it better. If you talk to your mama like that again, it's going to get worse. That we can choose through our actions and through our attitude how we're going to respond. That's the simplest form of it. Which I will tell you, you can do without Jesus. If you just do that, your life will be better.
It doesn't change your circumstances. But it will make those bad circumstances more bearable. So that's just, we're going to walk through that. That's the whole section of just wisdom. It's helpful. On the other side, when you go further into this, it actually becomes, you become internally unconquerable.
That it goes just from being able to kind of manage your own attitude to actually becoming internally unconquerable. And the reality is we'd all like to be there. So we're going to look at what the Proverbs have to say about this and hopefully grow in this together. So let's pray. God, we ask for help. So that we might capture some of this.
That we might believe some of this. That we might walk this out in light of what you have accomplished for us in the gospel. Our culture doesn't agree with this. And so we pray that you'd help us to listen well. Not as Westerners. As Americans or South Carolinians.
But that we would listen as people who belong to you. And whose story is much bigger and more eternal because of the work of Christ. We ask this in Jesus' name. Amen. Proverbs 15, 13. A lot of times the Proverbs are just one idea.
This one seems like there's a couple of Proverbs in a row that are attacking the same idea. So we're going to work through a couple. But it says this, A glad heart makes a cheerful face. But by the sorrow of the heart, the spirit is crushed. Now at first glance, that's just kind of an obvious observation.
Thanks Solomon, you're so wise. What he said was, if you're happy inside, you'll smile. Wow. But if you're really sad inside, you're really sad inside. That's what it seems like. And so it's like, good.
You've taken this somewhere? Because that's how we're inclined to read this. But I want you to see something. Because even that statement right there is actually countercultural to what we believe. There's part of that statement that you actually, as a good American, don't agree with. So let me help you see it.
A glad heart makes a cheerful face. We're okay with that. Seems true. But by sorrow of heart, the spirit is crushed. You see, we actually are more inclined to think that the problems that we have are not internal but external. That it's actually not what's going on inside of me that crushes my spirit.
It's my parents. It's my job. It's my boss. It's my stepchildren. It's the amount of money I have in my bank account. It's the system.
It's the man. It's capitalism. It's those people who've snuck into our schools and who are indoctrinating our children. Those are the people who are the ones who are like that. We're inclined to think. That's why we read an advice article.
They never respond with, maybe you should change your attitude. They say, maybe you should change your spouse. Maybe you should change your job. Maybe you should change your financial situation. They don't ever respond with, maybe you should be a little tougher. Quit whining.
You're welcome. They don't do that. But there's a reality to this that it's our internal response. It's our internal spirit. That our internal heart, the way we think through the world that affects whether or not we're crushed or not. And there's just part of us that even now is going, yeah, is that really what that's saying?
I don't know if I agree with that. There's Proverbs 18, 14 says this. A man's spirit will endure sickness. But a crushed spirit who can bear. So again, this idea of what crushes the spirit.
Well, this doesn't really tell us, but we know it's not sickness. That sickness in and of itself can't crush a spirit. A spirit can endure sickness, can endure bad circumstances. That if we actually would just take sickness as an idea for bad things happening to us, that there's a reality to, we might can just face whatever comes our way. But if we're internally crushed, who can go on?
Let's keep reading. Proverbs 15, 14. The heart of him who has understanding seeks knowledge. But the mouths of fools feed on folly. So this is, as you have understanding, you continue to seek knowledge.
And fools just feed on folly. They continue to pursue foolishness. So if you're wise, you continue to pursue wisdom. If you're foolish, you continue to pursue foolishness. Verse 15. All the days of the afflicted are evil.
But the cheerful of heart has a continual feast. Now again, part of that, we're inclined to just think, yeah, that makes sense. All the days of the afflicted are evil. The affliction, I actually appreciate that word because it's so broad. That affliction can be sickness. Affliction can be your job.
That you can be afflicted with the attitude of another. That you can be afflicted, but it's this idea that it's very difficult. That things are hard. That stuff is hurting you. That your outside circumstances are attacking you. And so what it says is, all the days of the afflicted are evil.
And we want to say, yes, exactly. And if I could just get unafflicted, I'd be okay. But the follow-up of that proverb turns it on its head. Because if we were going to write this, we would say, all the days of the afflicted are evil. But he who has a continual feast has a cheerful heart.
Because in our reckoning, your circumstances dictate to you your joy. If you have a good marriage, if you have good friends, they're not toxic. If you have good relationships, if you have a good job, if you have a smart boss. Oh, a smart boss, who can find? If you have the right amount of money. If you have a continual feast, you'll have a cheerful heart.
That's not what it says. It says the afflicted days are evil, but those who have a cheerful heart have a continual feast. So it's actually comparing cheerful heart with being afflicted and a continual feast with evil. Meaning that you have some personal responsibility and control over your attitude that can dictate to you what life is like. And the truth is, you've seen this on some people. You've seen drastic examples of both.
Maybe you haven't seen it in yourself. Maybe you have. But you've seen examples of both. Because you've been in school, had a job, played a sport. And you've watched a crowd of people receive bad news. And you've seen some people be absolutely just crushed by it.
Oh, here we go. I knew this was going to happen. This is exactly how it always works. And you've also seen the really annoying person go, we're going to be okay here. It's like, shut up. We are not going to be okay.
We are going to choose to make this way worse. There's a reality to circumstances that keep us, that we want to act like our circumstances have dictated to us how we ought to respond. The reality is most of the time we don't want other people to think this, but we certainly want that to be how things work for us. So if I've had a bad day, I can be mean to my wife, obviously. But if she's had a bad day, she needs to work on her attitude.
But this is a general attitude that we have, that somehow our circumstances have dictated to us our response, rather than our circumstances are what they are and our response gets to be controlled by us. And look at the beautiful part of that. If you can figure out how to have a cheerful heart, you can have a continual feast. Now, if there's anything that Americans like, it's a continual feast. So let's figure out how to have a cheerful heart.
Part of you may be thinking this is unattainable for you, but let's work past that and just understand mentally that if you can attain it, life can be a continual feast. And the reality is there are people who walk through life continually afflicted and their days are evil. And there are people who walk through life with a cheerful heart and their days are a continual feast. And it doesn't have to do with what the days throw at them because often they're thrown, the same thing's thrown at them. It has to do with how we respond. That's actually extremely encouraging.
Because your joy level does not have to be set on circumstance. That's amazingly encouraging. Because we're tempted to want it to be set on circumstance. But the reality is there's hope here. So let's look at this.
I want to show you a couple different ways to try to think about this. There's a Jewish rabbi. He was also a business leader and kind of a political leader. His name was Edwin Friedman. I do not give my wholesale endorsement of him because he says some absolutely crazy things. But he does say some helpful things and he has an illustration that I think is helpful.
He says imagine that a lot of times life is like... He says an amplifier, but we're going to just use a radio. Life's like a radio with three knobs. One knob is physical reality. Circumstance. The actual reality of what is going on.
There's physical reality to your life. You only have a certain amount of money. You only have a certain amount of handsome strapped around your face. Like you've only got what you got. The second one is dumb luck. Not a Christian concept.
We'll get there. But this is what he says. Dumb luck. And the third one is the response of the organism. That's you. You're an organism.
That's how you respond. Now, he says organism because he applies this to political parties. He applies this to businesses, that sort of thing. Now, he says there are times... Oh, you're only allowed to touch the response of the organism. That's the only knob you're allowed to mess with.
The other two knobs just get set for you. You can only touch the response knob. There are times when physical reality and dumb luck are turned up so high that it doesn't matter what you do with your response. The results are going to be what they are. He says an example of this would be if we were all in an airplane and it broke open and we were flying through the air now. Un-tethered.
Unkept. One of you can smile. One of you can sing. One of you can weep. I can flap my arms like a bird. Physical reality and dumb luck are turned up so high that it really doesn't matter.
Within a few seconds, we're all going to reach the same conclusion. But he says most of the time that's not true. Most of the time, physical reality and dumb luck aren't turned up so high that your response doesn't matter. And he says often the only thing that makes a difference is the response of the organism. That's the one thing that's actually the variable that will adjust something. And it's the one thing that you're allowed to touch.
It's a little bit like growing up in your dad's house. You can't touch the thermostat, but you can put a sweater on. That's how it works. If you only focus on physical reality and dumb luck, if that's all you can talk about, if that's all you tell your group about, if that's all you tell your therapist about, if that's all you think about, if that's all you write in your pain journal about, things won't get better. Because you're not allowed to touch those knobs. You're only allowed to touch how you respond, how you think about it, how you get out of it, how you work your head around it.
Proverbs 14.30 says this, and I think it applies to the same idea. It says, A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot. I think a life filled with envy is us looking at those two knobs and just wishing we could touch them and wishing that something had been different. And if I had just had this workout in life, if I had just grown up with those parents, if I had just been able to get into that school, if I had just been able to keep that job, if I had just kept that boss or not had this boss, if I just had that spouse, I wish that life had worked out this way. It's just us staring at the knobs we can't control.
I wish this had happened. I wish I had that relationship. I wish that my life had been like that. I wish I was a little bit taller. I wish I was a baller. I wish I had a girl look good.
I would call her. We can sit all we want and stare at the knobs we can't control and they will not help us. Or we can think about the one thing that we are able to grab a hold of and respond better. This isn't just the power of positive thinking. It's not going to fix everything in life. Some of your circumstances aren't going to change.
But you can make them better or worse. There's a scene in the office where they look at the boss, Michael Scott, who we use very often in the Proverbs because he's a fool. They say to him, don't make this any harder than it has to be. And then it cuts to him by himself looking directly in the camera and he goes, I'm going to make this way harder than it has to be. The truth is you do that. Something happens and you think.
You look at the camera of your life and go, I'm about to make this way harder than it has to be. My son, I try to help him think about his life, frame things up for him. It was school day. It was early in the morning. He was excited. He had put jelly beans in an Easter egg and he had hidden it.
Then in the morning he had opened his jelly beans to look at his jelly beans. I think he was going to eat his jelly beans. He put them back in the Easter egg. When he went back to open his jelly beans again after breakfast, there were four jelly beans, but there had been five jelly beans. This is a huge problem. Jesus tells the parable of the woman with the lost coin.
Well, I had the son with the lost jelly bean. He was turning the house upside down trying to find this jelly bean. Well, the clock's ticking because we've already gotten ready for school. We've already had breakfast. We only got so much hunt for jelly bean time before we got to go to school. He's distraught.
I mean, it's messed him up. I'm trying to help him find it. Finally, it's like we've got to get in the car and he's just like, you know, you know that look you get when you've lost your jelly bean. He had that. And we get in the truck. We only have a few minutes between us and the school and I'm trying to help not kick him out the door.
Like, just his day was not starting off well and I didn't want it to continue. So I'm trying to help him get out of it. So at first I was like, man, I'm sorry. That's rough. It is. I mean, that's, you know, one-fifth of his wealth gone.
It's a tough day. I'm sorry. Trying to help him, you know. And then I turned to, like, consoling wasn't helping. It was almost like it was adding to it because he's like, you're right, I should feel terrible. And I was like, all right, but you've got to buck up, kid.
But it's just a jelly bean, you know. I tried to be a little intense with him. That wasn't working. So we're just riding and I'm trying to think, like, how do I help him reframe his head? You know, how to help him learn to, like. And so we're just riding.
We've got about a minute left. We're pulling in the car line to drop him off. And I said, I said, are you tough? Something we talk about. I'm trying to help him learn that he can mentally control how he responds to physical things as well, you know. And, you know.
I said, like, you know, like a superhero, you know how, like, they're tough, you know. I said, but you know how superheroes have a weakness? Hmm? I said, I think I've figured out yours. I mean, this, he found a weakness. He's like, well, you know, he's a superhero now in his head and he's trying to think through being tough and he doesn't have any weaknesses.
I said, I think you might be like a superhero. I think I could hit you with a baseball bat and you'd bounce back. And he's, you know. I think I could shoot you with a missile. I know. But I found your weakness.
I found your kryptonite. He said, you know, looking at him like, what is it? He said, where is, what is it? You know, I'll cover it with a shield. It's one jelly bean. He just straightened up and stared at me.
He said, not a lot of jelly beans. Not five jelly beans. One jelly bean. That's your weakness. It'll crush you. All I got to do, you're like Captain America.
If I gave you a jelly bean and then took the jelly bean away, it turned into dust. And he was like, no. You know, like, I'm not weak. A jelly bean won't take me down. I was like, no, you said it destroyed your whole day. You said it ruined everything.
You said that jelly bean was the one thing that kept you sane and now everything's going. No, I'm not. No, huh? He hopped out of the car like, you know. Ain't no jelly bean going to beat me up. I'm trying to reframe for him.
What's your weakness? Extra paperwork? Traffic. How you thought a situation was going to go and then how your spouse actually responded. Your roommate and the dishes in the sink. What is it?
What's your kryptonite? What's the thing that absolutely slays you and you have no choice but to respond this way? They forced your hand. See, there's a reality to we have control how we respond to circumstances. We're going to work on a pool. And we can make life better or worse.
I learned this working on swim pools very, very distinctly. Multiple summers throughout all of high school working on swimming pools. The truth was I would go work on a pool. Sometimes it worked out well. It was nice. There were some times when you'd go to a job and you knew I was going to get paid this much.
It was going to take this long. Nice. And then something would break. And now I'm still only going to get paid this much, but I'm going to work a lot longer. And there were times where things would break and I would have to decide, am I going to do this manually or am I going to go ride back to the store, which is an hour away to get the stuff I need to actually fix it? Or am I going to do the thing that takes forever and peels all the skin off my arm as I sit and just have to fix this thing?
And oftentimes I realized that the only thing I can control was I knew I was going to be there. I knew I was going to have to fix the thing. I knew I couldn't leave until I got fixed. I knew the amount of money I was going to get was set. Everything was set. I was going to be in the sun.
Everything. I could make those next two hours way longer by feeling sorry for myself, by being really upset, by thinking through that other people wouldn't have to deal with this. Or I could take a deep breath, listen to some music, and realize that all of the things I was going to have to do were the same. The only thing I could control was my attitude and I could make it a lot better if I had a better attitude. And the truth is you get to do that too. You get the news at work, you're going to have to stay late.
Well, you're going to have to stay late. You're going to make it better or worse. Your kids spill stuff all over the floor. You're going to make it better or worse. We get to choose. And that's actually really encouraging.
But it gets better. It's beyond just attitude control that makes your day better. Take that. Use that. If you don't know Jesus, it's a gift to you. You don't have to have Jesus to change your attitude.
He helps, but you don't have to have him. But if you want to be internally unconquerable, it goes further. He says this in verse 16. Now we'll read verse 16 and 17. Better is a little with the fear of the Lord than great treasure and trouble with it. Better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a fattened ox and hatred with it.
You can have good circumstances without the Lord, without love, or you can have terrible circumstances with the Lord and with love, and it's better to have love and it's better to have the Lord. So it's not just circumstances that set your life, joy, and hope. And this actually, because it's now based not just in circumstances, but based in the Lord and his love for us, may I offer you an anchor for your joy rather than a kite. So many of us, our happiness is on a kite. Is it a good day for it? Is there a nice breeze blowing in the right direction?
Everything's good. Blown too hard? Not blowing it all? It's a mess. You ever try to fly a kite when it wasn't the right weather? It's the most aggravating thing?
I did this for like an hour with my boys one time. Something's wrong with the kite or something's wrong with me, but it wasn't working. But some of us have our hope tied to a kite. It's this. But we can actually have it anchored in the Lord so that it's untouchable, so that your joy level, your response to things, doesn't have to be circumstantial.
It doesn't whip around with the wind. See, this moves now from good advice to good news. That you actually, if you place your faith in Jesus, that you can have some things eternally held for you through the work of Christ that are true eternally and that you belong to Him. That's what Jesus came to die for sinners so that all who have faith in Him might be covered by His work and made holy and blameless and above reproach through the work of Christ and be anchored in Him so that we might, even if circumstances are bad, have Him. And if we have Him, then we have everything. And so that we have something to lean into in the midst of bad circumstances to remind us that not only can I control my attitude, but I have hope in Christ.
So I've got three things for us to do coming out of this. Fight for contentment. It's one of the best ways to work on your attitude is to fight for contentment. A tranquil heart brings life. An envious heart rots your bones. If you think things should be better, and that's what you tell yourself all the time, this should have worked out differently, it should be better.
The truth is, at any given moment in life, you can look at what's good or you can look at what's bad. That's up to you. You can show up from work. I can walk in the door from work and I can look at what's good or what's bad in my house. I can walk in because my wife's been playing with the kids and they've been having fun and the house is chaos. And I can tell myself, look at how terrible this house looks.
They should have been doing this. She should have done that. What's she been doing all day? I can find ten things I want to be mad about. I can probably find twenty if you give me enough time. But the reality is, I can also come in and find ten things to be happy about.
Some of you walk in the door, the house is a mess, your spouse has been playing with the kids and having fun with them and you complain that the dishes aren't done. The next day you walk in, the house is spotless but the kid's playing video games and you say, did y'all even go outside today? You're just picking the thing to be mad about instead of finding the thing to be happy about. You can right now make a list on the way home of ten things you like about your spouse, ten things you like about your group, ten things you like about this church, twenty-five things that you loved about this sermon.
Some of you this whole time have been going, I wish Spencer was preaching and you've ruined a wonderful sermon for your bad attitude. But you can do this. You can fight for contentment. You can tell yourself things you like about your house, you like about your drive to work, you like about your job, or you can tell yourself all the things you hate about it and one of those gives life to your flesh and one of them rots your bones. And if you feel a little rotted out, it's quite possible that you're walking around doing that to yourself. Grab the knob you can control.
So fight for contentment. Control your response. It's the one thing you can control. So in a situation, start learning what's outside of my control. That's not the thing to focus on. What's inside of my control?
That's the thing to focus on. That's the thing for me to think through and decide how I'm going to respond, how I'm going to act, what I'm going to do, how I'm going to speak, how I'm going to think, what I'm going to tell myself. I think about this periodically. Paul and Silas in the book of Acts get arrested, beaten, put in jail, and then we're told that they're praying and singing hymns. Now if I asked you, good Christian, can Christians sing in prison?
Yes. Can we find joy in the midst of difficult circumstances? Yes. Can we have an anchor of hope in the midst of a concentration camp? Yes. But we can't even handle traffic.
Well, I'm not in prison. I'll sing when I get to prison. But the house is a mess. Like it's like, what? We can control how we respond. We have an anchor that helps us respond.
I want to read this quote from Viktor Frankl. He says this. He says, Life in a concentration camp exposes your soul's foundation. Only a few of the prisoners were able to keep their inner liberty and inner strength. Life only has meaning in any circumstances if we have a hope that neither suffering, circumstances, nor death itself can destroy. Now if you belong to Jesus, you have a hope that neither suffering, nor circumstances, nor death itself can destroy.
You have an anchor for your joy, for your life, for your hope, not a kite. So that you can respond with joy in the midst of anything and you can respond with hope in the midst of anything and you can control your attitude in the midst of anything. Nobody has forced your hand. Third thing. So first, fight for contentment.
Control your response. Remember the truth. Another way to say this would be to remember good news. Proverbs 12, 25, anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad. That's just a general truth about talking to each other, about how good news works, but also we have the ultimate capital G, capital N, good news in Christ. The ultimate capital G, capital W, good word in Christ.
Proverbs 15, 30, the light of the eyes rejoices the heart. I mean, the light of the eyes is the life that the Lord gives us the ability to see. But it's like the inner light of the eyes. And good news refreshes the bones. We have the good news in Christ. Proverbs 16, 24, gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.
We have the gracious words spoken to us by God the Father through the work of Christ. Capital G, capital W, gracious words spoken to us. Remember what's true. Let's look at our radio again. Physical reality, dumb luck, response of the organism. If you don't belong to Jesus, run with that.
I would like to invite you though to place your faith in Jesus and use this next one which is if you belong to Jesus it looks like this. Physical reality, truth of the gospel, response of the organism. Can I offer you some really good news? You're still not allowed to touch that second knob. Your sin doesn't let you grab it. Your depression doesn't let you grab it.
What the enemy's telling you doesn't let you grab it. Jesus Christ has sealed that forever and ever and ever and ever and he has spoken truth to you that if you belong to him you belong and you are redeemed and you are forgiven and you are given hope that is unassailable. You are internally unconquerable because through Christ you are eternally unconquerable. You still get to troll how you respond. Are you going to believe that? Are you going to remind yourself of that?
Are you going to join a group and tell people that? Remind them of that? Are you going to join a group and listen when other people remind you of that? This is one of the reasons why we need to be around other believers so that you can say something that's completely stupid and they can say to you that's not true. You tell yourself completely stupid lies all the time. You need to get around a group and say them out loud so the people who love Jesus can go what have you been telling yourself?
No. I love you so I want to punch you. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. That's not true for you not if you belong to Jesus. If you don't belong to Jesus run with that. You'll be crushed by your sin.
You'll be destroyed. You're unlovable. You've been unworthy. But if you belong to Jesus you've been made lovable. You've been made worthy through the work of Christ and you are forever sealed in that. You are holy and blameless and above reproach.
You are like a bride presented to Christ without a spot or blemish or any such thing that we belong and that we're loved and that we're welcomed and we don't get to mess with that. Some of you say well I'm depressed. Yeah okay we'll put that on the physical reality knob. You can't control that. You wake up feel like you have no energy. You feel down.
You can't go you know what I'm just going to choose happy today. Sometimes that doesn't work. But you actually do get to choose how you respond. You're going to stare at the depression knob and just say well you're in charge. Are you going to look at the truth of the gospel? You're going to get out of bed?
You're going to get in some sunlight? You're going to get around some people? You're going to say I'm not going to let my feelings and emotions dictate to me what life is. I can't fully control them but I can control how I respond. I don't have to believe all that. Guys this is good news.
And if you belong to Jesus it's eternally good news. Some of you right now are in some really bad situations but you can make them better. You can choose to be afflicted or you can have a continual feast as we choose to align ourselves with who Jesus is and what he's done for us. The band is going to come back up. We're going to sing. I want to say one more thing to those who do have physical depression that you just feel like it's outside of your control.
I want to tell you yeah sometimes it is. Your response isn't. There's places in the Psalms all the time where he says bless the Lord oh my soul. He talks to his soul. Bless the Lord oh my soul. He says forget not all his benefits.
Some of you need to write down we actually have some of these printed up. We will give you one but different passages of scripture that tell you things that are true about you and Jesus. Some of you need to write down things. You walk around telling yourselves lies all the time. I'm the worst. I'm unlovable.
Everybody hates me. They don't even notice when I'm not around. They wish I wasn't around. It's like your radio is turned up too much but you're not grabbing the one knob you have control over and you're not listening to the part where Jesus is coming through the frequency that he's on where he says you are loved. You are welcome. You do have hope.
You do have certainty. You do have security. If you belong to Jesus the absolute worst circumstances that could ever happen to you can happen to you. You're eternally secure. One of the ways we say this on Sundays sometimes is Jesus is alive tell your face. There's hope in Christ so there's joy for us.
That's actually one of the fruit of the Spirit. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, self-control that he gives us these things through his work not ours that we get to choose good things because he's offered them to us in Christ that no you don't deserve them but Jesus is great and we praise his glorious grace. So quit looking at the undeserving knob. Quit looking at the circumstance knob and start looking at the king of kings and start responding as someone who's been redeemed. And then tell your face. Let's pray.
God we thank you so much that you redeem that we can run to you in the midst of difficulty that we can run to you in the midst of hurt that we can run to you in the midst of pain that you have forever set reality for us through the work of Christ. Lord we pray for those who are not in Christ that they would come to you that they would repent of sin that they would ask for forgiveness that they would be covered by the grace of Christ. And we pray Lord that we would quit looking at the things we can't control that we would quit focusing on all the things that are negative that we would quit looking at the things that are difficult difficult and hard and quit acting as if circumstance sets our hearts posture rather than you through the power of your spirit and our ability to respond. And may by your grace we respond well.
In Jesus name we pray. Amen.
Wisdom and Integrity (Proverbs 4:20-24)
Use this guide to help your group discussion as you meet this week.
Transcript
Good morning. My name is Chet. I'm one of the pastors here. Grab your Bibles and go to Proverbs chapter 4. We'll move around the Proverbs a little bit today, but we're going to start in chapter 4 in verse 20. I talk about them often.
I have two sons, a six-year-old and a three-year-old. When my three-year-old turned two, he and his brother started playing together a lot more. He was able to keep up a little better. They were able to run. They were able to play. They were able to do things together.
They go full speed. I've told people before that my kids have two switches, high and off. That's it. Those are their two settings. It wasn't uncommon at all to hear them playing and laughing. Then all of a sudden, the younger one just to be crying.
His older brother is very articulate. He's been articulate since he was little. The younger one is not very articulate at all, although he makes up for it by being aggressive in the way he talks. Not only can you not understand him, but he's very frustrated about it. I would come in the room and I would say, Archer is the older one. I'd say, what happened?
Why is Ellis crying? He'd go, oh, I jumped from here to there. He tried to and slammed his face into that. Or he was climbing on this and he fell. I think that landed up under his back. That seems to be the trouble.
There'll be times where I'll come in and I'll say, Archer, why is Ellis crying? And Archer will go, well, so we were playing. He starts like way further back five minutes ago and I can tell what's happened is he knows the truth. He's just not a huge fan of it. He knows what's real, but he was fine with that being real until I showed up. And then when I showed up, that being real doesn't seem as good anymore.
And so he's trying to figure out how do I put this? I don't really want to lie, but I got to give myself some time here. The best one was I kicked my feet in the air and then Ellis fell over and maybe hurt himself when he fell. It's like, I feel like we left some things out here. I feel like we skipped some steps, but I talked to my son and I realized how often I feel the same way about reality. I don't really like who I chose to be.
I don't really like what I chose to do. I don't really like what I said. I don't really like what I did. And there are times where maybe I'm okay with it if it's just me having to sit with it, but I certainly don't want you to know that. And so you ask me questions or we get in a conversation and my soul goes, well, and I have a desire to recreate reality in a way that defends me, that protects me, that guards me. And the Proverbs talk about this.
They talk about integrity and lying. And so let's pray the Lord would help us see all the places in us that go well and try to recreate what's real to defend ourselves. Now we ask for your help this morning. We ask for the work of your spirit to help us to see your word, to understand your word, to respond to your word that we might find healing. I pray Lord that as we look at our words, you would help us to see our hearts, to see them clearly and to respond to your grace. We love you and we praise you in Jesus name.
We pray. Amen. Proverbs chapter four, verse 20 says, my son, be attentive to my words, incline your ear to my sayings. Let them not escape from your sight. Keep them within your heart for they are life to those who find them in healing to all their flesh. Keep your heart with all vigilance for from it flow the springs of life.
There's this idea that your heart is, is your identity. It's the seat of your personhood. It's also, uh, the, it displays your desires, what you most love, what you most want. And then he says this, put away from you crooked speech and put devious talk far from you. This is not the only place in the Proverbs or in the scriptures where we see the, the idea of your heart being paired with your words, that what comes out of your mouth helps display what is inside of you, that your heart and your words are tied together. So that if we're going to keep a vigilant watch over our hearts, we are going to keep a vigilant watch over our mouths.
And if we're going to know what's in our heart, we're going to see what comes out of our mouth. That we're going to keep an eye on our speech and that we're going to put crooked speech far from us. I want to, uh, in Proverbs 6, 14 and Proverbs 26, 24 and Proverbs 28, 14, these parallels are drawn as well. This idea of your heart being connected to your words or your words being connected to your heart that they go hand in hand. It's not just in the Proverbs. Jeremiah 17, nine says this, the heart is deceitful above all things, desperately sick.
Who can understand it? You ever watch a horror movie and something bad's happening and you're wanting to yell at the characters? Don't, don't do that. Well, we should also do that in every little Disney movie. When a cartoon comes out and tells you to follow your heart, you should yell, no, don't do it. It's sick.
It's going to trick you. Doom lies that way. Cartoon character. But there's this reality that our hearts breed lies and they lie to us and they help us lie to others. Matthew 15, 19 says for out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness. That's lying and slander.
Luke 6, 45 says the good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good. And the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil for out of the abundance of his heart, his mouth speaks. So if we're going to keep a vigilant watch on our hearts, we're going to keep a vigilant watch on our mouths and we are to put crooked speech far from us. This idea of crooked speech is there are certain types of speech that is in line with reality. Speech that is truthful, that is honest, that is real. And truth is truth whether you like it or not, whether you believe in it or not.
If you deny that gravity exists, it will still assert itself when you jump off of a building. The truth is truth. And there's speech that lines up with that. And then there's speech that tends to desire to bend reality, to remake reality, to guard against reality, to create unreality. That's the way Pastor Brandon Clements, who's in, we plant churches together in a church planning network, and he's one of the pastors and he talks about lying as creating unreality. That God in the beginning speaks and creates order.
That he speaks and out of chaos. He creates everything that is good and beautiful and true. And that we in our speech can line up in that or he in our speech can work to create unreality, to create chaos, to defend ourselves against reality. And this is sin. And this is evil. Lying is a rejection of God's good order.
Lying is working to sow chaos into the world. That's what Jesus says in John chapter 8 to the Pharisees. He says, you are of your father, the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character for he is a liar and the father of lies. The first sin that happens in the garden in Adam and Eve, it's the enemy coming along and lying and twisting what the Lord said.
And then Adam and Eve follow him in his lies. And when we speak lies, we line up with the character of Satan. And we seek to destroy God's good order in the world. And lying is wicked and evil and God hates it. So Proverbs 12, 22 says, lying lips are an abomination to the Lord.
That word abomination means he is loathsome to him. But those who act faithfully are his delight. This is said multiple times in the Proverbs. It said in Proverbs 3, Proverbs 6 says it twice. Six times falsehood and deceit are called an abomination. It's disgust and hatred that God stands opposed to deceit.
But there are some pictures in the scriptures that clearly draw the line between God and Satan. There's this idea of life and death, of light and darkness, of truth and lies. Also, it ultimately fails. It works short term. That's why we do it. But it ultimately fails.
Proverbs 10, 9 says, whoever walks in integrity, walks securely. But he who makes his ways crooked will be found out. Integrity means wholeness, integrated. It's solid. If you walk in integrity, you walk securely that nothing can assail you. But if you make your way crooked, if you make your speech crooked, you will be found out.
Proverbs 12, 19 says, truthful lips endure forever. But a lying tongue is but for a moment. It's one of the things that they say is that if you're honest, you don't have to have a good memory. You don't have to be that smart. If you'll just be honest about what happened, you don't have to try to remember who you said what to and when you said it and how you put it and what the story was like last time. And you can just be honest.
And that endures forever that it puts you in line with God's good work in the world. But a lying tongue is but for a moment. It falls apart. Proverbs 6, 12 goes a little bit further in this. It says a worthless person, a wicked man goes about with crooked speech, winks with his eyes, signals with his feet, points with his finger. It's that idea that crooked speech is aiming towards something.
It's trying to manipulate people. It's trying to gain something that we lie that we might have something we don't have or to defend something or to point someone in the wrong direction so that this crooked speech is is this manipulative control. It says with perverted heart devises evil, continually sowing discord. It's the idea that lying again comes from our heart and puts our hearts on display. It says, therefore, calamity will come upon him suddenly. In a moment, he will be broken beyond healing.
We've seen this. You've seen this happen in relationships. You've seen this happen in friendships and marriages. You've seen this happen with leaders, politicians, Christian leaders, where all of a sudden it just crumbles. And the reason it crumbles and the reason the calamity comes upon them so suddenly is because it wasn't real in the first place. It was smoke.
And so a gust of wind from the truth was able to blow it clear. That's what lying does. God hates it and it ultimately fails. Lying is bad. Don't lie. My granddad had a cousin who lied all the time, all the time.
His little kid lied about everything, would lie about things that weren't even, it's like, who's this lie helping? What is wrong with you? Like this lie doesn't even defend. What are you doing? Like he just lied all the time. And so his parents were getting kind of at their wits end with him.
And so the parents told him about Ananias and Sapphira from Acts chapter five. And in Acts chapter five, the church is born. People are, are worked. Uh, the Holy Spirit's at work. People are giving, people are being charitable. Ananias and Sapphira sell this piece of property.
And then they show up like other people had sold this property and given to the church. They show up and announce, Hey, we sold this property for this amount and we want to give the full amount to the church. That's what they do. Problem was that wasn't the actual amount. So it wasn't the full amount.
They had kept some to themselves. The Holy Spirit works and Peter says, why are you lying? And Ananias dies. And Sapphira shows up and he asked her, how much did you sell this for? She lies also and she dies. Now this is a bold move to tell your child who's lying.
Son, sit down, open your Bible. Do you want God to kill you? That's what they did. I read it to him and he goes, I know mama. And I was there and they just rolled him right out the church and kept going. Boulder move.
Insert yourself into scripture. The truth is we need to know that lying is evil. We need to know it is bad. We need to know that it works to show disharmony. We need to know that God hates it and we need to not lie. But one of the questions we need to ask is that if lying exposes our heart, why are we lying?
Not just don't lie, but we need to begin to see in our speech. What is our, what are our words trying to gain? What are we winking at? Tapping our foot? What are we doing to try to manipulate and to maneuver? What are we protecting?
What are we guarding? What are we hoping to keep safe? What are we hoping to gain? What is it that our hearts tell us about our identity? What it is our hearts tell us that we love? What are our hearts pursuing in our dishonesty?
In Jordan Peterson, who's a professor and a clinical psychologist in his book, 12 rules for life, he says this in his chapter talking about honesty. He says, so I began paying much closer attention to what I was doing and saying. I soon came to realize that almost everything I said was untrue. I had motives for saying these things. I wanted to win arguments and gain status, impress people and get what I wanted. I was using language to bend and twist the world into delivering what I thought was necessary.
So we lie because it so often it works and we become good at it to where we lie to ourselves enough that we don't even see where we're lying. We avoid topics that make us seem foolish or ignorant. We don't bring up things or answer questions honestly about things that make us seem less likable or meaner. That we use our words to bend and twist reality, to guard ourselves, to gain what we want, to pursue what we want. And in our words, we display our hearts. What is it that I really love?
What is it that I really value? Augustine, who was one of the church leaders in Africa, he talks about that much of our sin is disordered love. That we don't love God enough, that we love something else too much, that the things we ought to love, we love less. The things we shouldn't love, we love more. And our hearts chase after things that they shouldn't. And our words show us what it is that we truly want to gain.
So the question is, what am I using my words to accomplish? What are you using your words to get? What are you using your words to defend? What is it that you are doing in your speech? You trying to look smarter or less selfish, more put together? You trying to control the behavior of others?
My grandmother was a godly lady. She was very sweet. She was a missionary in Nigeria. But she wanted you to show up on time. So she'd lie to you about what time something started.
You'd show up at 830 and you'd be like, yeah, yeah. You know your church starts at nine, right? They didn't just change it this week. My dad used to talk to her and say, don't lie to me. I'm going to be on time. Tell me the real time.
I won't tell the rest of the family. But what are you doing? What are you doing with your speech? Who are you trying to manipulate? How are you trying to gain control or power or comfort? What are you willing to lie about?
The reality is I might be willing to lie and you might be willing to lie, but probably about different things. I like to think I'm smart. One of the ways I lie is that I tell myself that I am quite often. I also want you to think I'm smart, but I forget stuff a lot. I'm going to have to retire when I'm like 60 because if it's this bad right now, the older I get, it's going to get real bad. I forget stuff.
I wish I was smart enough to know I forget stuff and then to write it down. Sometimes I write it down and forget where I wrote it. So I'm a slip of paper somewhere. Well, to do this every once in a while is embarrassing. To do this all the time is shameful. And so there'll be times where someone will come to me and they'll say, hey, did you do that thing you said you were going to do?
And I'll respond with, I'm going to do that today. I am going to do that today. Now that you mentioned it because I should have done it two days ago and I completely forgot it existed. But I was just about to do that. I start using language to try to bend and to defend and to make myself seem smarter because constantly having to look at people and say, you remember I'm a moron, right? Is it fun?
So that I'm tempted and often don't even realize I'm doing it. But in my language, I defend myself. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I knew that. Oh, yeah, that's right. That makes sense.
Oh, yeah, I was I was absolutely about to get and I don't even realize I'm doing this, but I'm I'm building a disguise. That's one of the ways that the Proverbs puts it. It says this in Proverbs 26, 24, it says whoever hates disguises himself with his lips and harbors deceit in his heart. Now, specifically, this is talking about someone who's absolutely out to get somebody. But that idea of that we're able to disguise ourselves with our lips, we're able to make ourselves seem a little better, look a little better, portray ourselves a little smarter, a little kinder, that there's these times that we're really tempted to to just make sure that we kind of control the story.
I am I got in a fight, a fistfight at a middle school dance because I like to live dangerously. And when I had to recount how this went, I realized as my parents were asking questions about it, there was part of the story that that didn't paint me in the best light because it was bad and I shouldn't have done it. My parents were OK with me fighting, but there were some things that precipitated the fight that I had aided and abetted in. This guy had done some things that were wrong, but I had also done some things to make it worse. And so they just got the edited version of the story. I told them only true things.
I just left out one piece of truth that did affect how the story played out. Did I lie? Well, does that make sense? See how you can craft a story, how you can bear false witness? That you can give a story, but not the whole story. You can tell a half truth that makes you seem nicer.
Certainly those people did say that. Certainly they did do that. And the stuff that I said and did doesn't matter because that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about them. That's why I came to talk to you person in my group. I need you to help me think about how terrible this person is.
So we've shifted things around. We're using our language to build a disguise. We're using our language to hide just a bit. Your spouse asked if you've done that chore. You should have known they were going to ask because they've asked you this every four days for the past two months. And you don't say that I had time.
You don't look at them and say, well, you know, I had time to do that chore, but I chose to spend that amount of time messing with my phone or watching TV or what you do is you say, well, I did this and you give the three things that you did do. And then you paint it up a little bit, give it a little bit of flourish. So it seems like you were busier than you were. Did you do that chore? Do you even know what our children are like? You do a chore with these kids running around your feet while you watch TV.
You don't want to hurt someone's feelings. You don't want to make things awkward. Most of the time before we lie to other people, we begin to lie to ourselves. This isn't that big a deal. I'm really not that offended. I'm not that hurt over this.
If I told them it would just make things worse. That's actually one of the most acceptable Christian lies that you'll, you'll talk yourself into. You're hurt by someone in your group or you've hurt someone in your group. You've sinned against them and you'll convince yourself that telling them will just make it worse or that going and talking to them will just make it worse. And that it really isn't that big a deal. And you really aren't that offended and, and you'll be fine.
You don't really have to talk about this. And if that were true and you could forbear and you could overlook an offense, that would be beautiful because the Proverbs tells us to do that, that it's wise to overlook an offense. But if we actually aren't overlooking the offense, we're just letting something grow up between us and someone else. And so what you say is, I don't want to make things awkward. So I'll just break this relationship with them, grow further and distance from them, lie to them when they ask me if I'm okay, I'll say I'm fine.
And then about a year from now, I won't feel like I belong anymore. And I'll completely no longer be a part of this church. And that'll be the better route because I don't want to make things weird. So I'll just cease to have a relationship with this person. That's the loving thing to do. It's what Jesus would want.
No. In case you were confused. No, it's not. That we're supposed to talk about what's going on and be honest about it and say what's real. Someone asked you in your group, are you okay? Maybe in that moment, you don't just blurt out, I'm really mad at you.
Maybe you do. My wife, she would be upset about something. I'd say, are you okay? And she'd say, I'm fine. She'd say, I'm fine. And two days later, it turns out she wasn't fine.
Caught me completely off guard. So I learned to say, do you mean to tell me that there will not be a time in the future when you and I discuss a thing that has happened up until the moment of this sentence? And then she would say, maybe I'm not fine. It's very terrifying. But what we learned, what she learned, she would say to me, I'm upset by something, but I'm not sure I should be.
Give me some time to think about it. I'd love to grant that request. I would love for her to figure out that she was wrong and sinful, that I was right all along, for her to repent and us to move on. It's absolutely my favorite. That happened twice. It was wonderful.
So sometimes you need to be able to say, I'm working through some stuff. I'm upset by something. I'm trying to think about it. Don't be fake, but give yourself some time to sort some things out. You're complicated. Don't just lie to yourself.
Don't just lie to them, but think. And then come back and have the conversation you need to have. I was hurt by this. It made me sad when this happened. But we're tempted to do this all the time.
You're leaving work. All of your co-workers, the good ones, are planning on going somewhere. One of the annoying ones comes over and says, Hey, where did you say y'all were going? And you think, if you come, I no longer want to be there because you actively ruin everything. Maybe that's their fault. Maybe that's your fault.
That's not the point of this sermon. The point of this sermon is that you're about to lie. That you're suddenly really tempted to say, Oh, no, we don't. I don't even know who those people are. We never hang out. I fill up.
Oh, my stomach hurts. Like, whatever. That happened to you in middle school. It happened to you in high school. It happens now. And we're tempted to lie.
Well, I don't want to hurt their feelings. I just want to create some unreality to make things a little smoother, to make my life move a little bit easier. And it's sin. I want to control how you're perceived. I want to control what other people think about you. They told Spurgeon one time, they said, Do you know what those people said about you?
And he was like, They don't know the half of it. I'm way worse than that. But we're so tempted to try to control the story, to control perception, to control what people know, what people share, what people think, how we're seen, that we're liars. So what do we do? See, I don't know how you lie. I don't know why you lie.
But you need to figure that out. I don't know exactly what it is you're protecting. I don't know exactly what it is you're trying to gain. I don't know where you're fake, where you're pretending, where you're disguised. The Lord does. It's possible you don't even know where you lie and why you lie.
It's possible that you've grown really comfortable with it and you've convinced yourself of some lies and you're just continuing to carry those out. So what do we do? Well, you watch your mouth. First thing you need to do is listen to yourself. Actually pay attention to how you respond to people. Actually pay attention to the words that you use.
Pay attention to the way you feel when you talk. You know that little strike of lightning you get when someone asks you a question you have no desire to answer. Start paying attention to how you respond. Correct yourself. This is something that Spencer does. Spencer Carey does pretty well.
He overstates things so that everything is the best or the worst. This was the greatest thing that ever happened. I 100% guarantee that this will never happen. This is the worst thing. That person is absolutely garbage. If you hate this, you're going to die.
Like whatever. He just overstates things. And when he tells stories, he overstates them. But he does. He's learning. He does this.
And so he'll come back and go, okay, well, hold on. That's not exactly how that worked. And that takes some serious self-awareness because I tell stories and fill in details and don't even realize I'm doing that. I realize as I'm talking, sometimes I don't have this detail, so I just stick a detail in so the story can move forward. My wife says that this is fabrication and that I shouldn't do that in sermon illustrations. But sometimes it's just a sermon illustration.
It needs to make a point. It just needs to be close to true. Okay, I'm sorry. But anyway, listen to yourself and correct yourself. When you realize that what you just said wasn't accurate, go back to the person and say, hold on a second. I actually am upset.
I just need time to think about it. Go back to the person and go, no, actually, no, no, no. You did hurt me. So when you asked me, when our group was together on Wednesday and I said I was fine, I was lying and I need you to forgive me. But now I need to talk to you about the thing I'm going to have to forgive you about.
But we're going to work towards being honest. So listen to yourself and then correct yourself when you realize that you're misspeaking or that you're making yourself sound smarter or more put together or you're leaving out details because you just don't want to get into that part of the story. Yes, the lady at Walmart was aggressive. But were you that innocent? So he brings us to our next one.
Stop talking. Proverbs 10, 19 says, When words are many, transgression is not lacking. But whoever restrains his lips is prudent. You can shut your mouth. It's a beautiful option. You can sit and think for a little while.
You can say to someone, I don't think it's my place to answer that question. I think you just asked me a question about someone else's motives and I don't think, even though I have a really good guess as to their motives, that it's helpful for me to state that because it's just a guess. It's not true. And I think you need to go talk to them. I think you can look at someone and say, that's not really any of your business. Sometimes it is their business.
And then you have to go back to the first part where you just have to speak honestly. But you do have the ability to not talk, to not tell stories, to not talk about things that have happened, to say, I need to think more about this because I'm not quite sure what's true and how I feel about it. So instead of just spurting out opinions based off of what I think you most want to hear, I'm actually going to go think a little bit about what my actual opinions are and then come back and I can say those to you. But I have not known enough about this to formulate opinions. I'm really happy to listen to yours though.
Oh, we'd do so much better if we'd learn how to do that one. What do you think about this? I haven't thought enough about it to have thoughts. Instead of just like, well, you asked me, let me spew words out. Be able to just say, let me think for a little bit. I'll listen to what you think.
The reason you ask is you have thoughts. So listen to yourself. Correct yourself. Stop talking. Confess. Proverbs 28, 13 says, whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper.
But he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. Some of you are lying and have been carrying a lie because you sinned and you don't want to tell anybody. You sinned and it's going to hurt people. You sinned and it's going to affect you. And you wish you hadn't sinned and you told yourself you won't do it again. But you all know that mold grows in the dark and fungus grows in the dark and cancer grows and grows and grows until you see it. and that some of you are lying and lying to yourself and telling yourself, you can't share this.
You can't tell anyone. If they found out, it would all fall apart. And there are consequences to sin, but there is mercy for those who confess. See the back? The next verse says, blessed is the one who fears the Lord always. That your fear would be more of Jesus and his glory and the king of the universe than the consequences temporarily of the people that you have sinned against and the people you have lied to.
See, the reason why we hold on to lies is that I more fear you than I fear him. Blessed is the one who fears him more than he fears you. Blessed is the one that loves Jesus more than they love you. Blessed is your marriage if that is true for you and your spouse. Blessed is your friendship if that is true for you and your friends. That you love and fear the Lord more than you fear each other because that leads to honesty and confession.
And guess what? In Christ there is mercy. The goal of us following Jesus is that we would get Jesus the one who forgives sin. The one who cleanses sinners. That's why Jesus is called friend of sinners. That those who confess and run for their sin find mercy in him.
And we know this because he came and he died and shed his blood that we might have him. But if we harden our hearts we go to calamity. And some of you can feel the Lord pressing on you. He's bringing to your mind through the power of the Spirit lies that need to be confessed. And you have a choice. You can confess and obtain mercy.
Or you can fight and harden your heart and take another step down the road towards calamity. that you can reject the call to mercy. There's a song I sing to my boys softly and tenderly. It says softly and tenderly Jesus is calling. One of the lines that it is why should we linger and heed not his mercy? The song says he's calling for you oh sinner come home. That if we turn from our sin if we confess our sin he forgives our sin and we find mercy.
But if we hold on to our sin we head towards destruction. I don't know why you lie. I don't know what you're defending. I don't know what you're after. I don't know what lies you've been carrying for years and years and have convinced yourself that this one just has to go to the grave with you. But I do know that if you confess you receive mercy. mercy.
So the band's going to come back up. Holding on to sin and holding on to lies only makes things worse. And I will tell you that confession is painful but often it gets worse before it gets better. If you have a bad tooth going to the dentist is first painful before it's helpful. If you have sin and lies and deceit confession is painful but then you obtain mercy and you're free. Some of you have been lying and guarding yourself against everybody and you're disguised and therefore when they tell you that they love you you tell yourself no they just love the disguise.
You undercut your ability to belong. you undercut your ability to be loved. You undercut your ability to believe that Jesus Christ forgives sinners because you've convinced yourself that if you confess this sin you will not be forgiven. Church Jesus forgives sinners so we forgive sinners. You are welcome here as a sinner and the day that sinners are not welcome here this ceases to be a church that belongs to Jesus. It's something else but it's not his because those who confess and forsake sin receive mercy. They receive the blood of the lamb that cleanses us from all unrighteousness.
They are made holy and blameless and above reproach. They are spotless like a bride on her wedding day where there is no wrinkle or blemish or any such thing. Confess and receive mercy. Do not harden your heart and run into calamity convincing yourself that you will not be forgiven. sin. Because the king of kings loves and redeems and dies to forgive. And there is grace and there is mercy by him through his people that you might belong and you might be welcomed.
And yes there are consequences to sin. But oh there is mercy at the cross. And there is a king who reigns forever amongst the redeemed. Those who confess sin were made new. He doesn't reign forever amongst the flawless that became flawless on their own. He reigns forever among the flawless that he made flawless through his work that he would get praise and glory for his grace.
So watch your mouth. Listen to your words. Correct yourself. Some of you just need to stop talking. Some of us need to confess. We are about to take communion where we celebrate the tangible reality of Jesus' broken body and his shed blood.
Where we celebrate that he actually came. That he was touchable. And that he is accessible. And that for those of us who have placed our faith in him we proclaim his death until he comes. Communion is for those who believe. For those who have repented.
For those who have placed their faith in Christ. If you are not a Christian we want Christ for you. And when you are ready to place your faith in Christ you are invited to communion. But if you have not placed your faith in Christ we ask you to remain seated. But in a moment we are going to take a minute to pray and to ask the Lord to help us see our sin and to hear our words and we are going to confess.
And some of us are going to have to confess to some people. I lied to you. I have been lying to you. We are going to get mercy from the Lord and we are going to pray that he works mercy from those who love and follow him. And then we are going to take communion.
Wisdom and Sex (Proverbs 5)
Use this guide to help your group discussion as you meet this week.
Transcript
Thank you. Thank you. Proverbs 5.1 starts out, My son, be attentive to my wisdom, incline your ear to my understanding, that you may keep discretion, and your lips may guard knowledge. For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil. But in the end, she's as bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.
Her feet go down to death. Her steps follow the path to Sheol. She does not ponder the path of life. Her ways wander, and she does not know it. So, it's passages like this that I encountered when I became a Christian around 17, where I went, oh man, I think I've misunderstood the Bible's teaching on this. Like, I generally understood the Bible was, you know, don't have sex outside of marriage.
I think I generally somewhat understood that. I don't think I really fully embraced how big of a deal, how big of a teaching that was, until probably my freshman year of high school. So, I was dating a girl, and she was Baptist. I was not. And I went to her youth group, and her youth group had a little function. And then afterwards, they did kind of a teaching on this concept called true love waits.
And I'd never heard of that before. And they had this teaching on, yeah, you should commit to purity, this idea of chastity, that sex is in the confines of marriage. You should wait until you get married. And it was a smaller youth group, and everyone in that youth group had seemed to really sign one of these forms. And I was kind of the odd man out. And the person who was leading that took the forms and threw them right in front of me and said, anyone else want to sign it?
And I said, just sat silent, and I was just like, nah. I got no plans to follow any of this stuff. I was like, that's not for me. I have a girlfriend here. I have intentions for her. I have no plans to sign that at all.
Like, my thought process behind all of that was like, I did not realize the Bible had such a strong teaching on this at all. Now, what was good for me was, is that I had signed a purity commitment, whether I liked it or not. My short stature and personality at that time lent itself to that anyways. But I didn't have intentions for that. I became a Christian when I was 17, and I started to read the Bible, and was like, oh man, I've completely miscalculated and misunderstood the Bible's teaching on this. So I was like, I need to course correct here.
I need to, out of the sexual brokenness that I was redeemed from, I need to absolutely rethink this. So I made some strict kind of rules for me and understanding of how I would approach this in future relationships. And fast forward a few years. In college, started dating my now wife. And as we started, you know, we went on a few dates. And then I was like, alright, like I want to, let's make this official.
I had this grand romantic gesture where I took some roses, and I took aspects of the fruit of the Spirit that I loved in her, and I wrote it down on some cards attached to these flowers. I had my friends deliver these roses one at a time throughout the day. And at the end of the day, I delivered the final rose. And like, let's make this official. Want to be my boo? Like I was, like, and we celebrated for five minutes.
And then I shifted gears into, alright, so, here are some of the rules as we're going to leave this relationship. Let me, here's some boundaries for us in how we approach our relationship. First, no back talk. No, just kidding. No, I was like, I was like, we, listen, we, I want us to guard our way when it comes to purity, when it comes to pursuing Jesus in our relationship. So I came in, like, really hard.
You guys, five, I'm talking, this is not a joke. It was five minutes of joy celebration. And then, here it is. I was like, I don't want us to kiss until we get super serious. I don't want us to be in a situation that might compromise ourselves. So, like, we're not going to be the kind of couple that's on the couch, in our dorm room, watching a movie close to one another.
We're not going to do that. I started to prescribe a whole bunch of boundaries for us. Because I knew my brokenness. I knew how quickly it could go off the rails. And I said, no, we're not going this way. And she said, absolutely.
So she agreed. And we followed these. Up until we got engaged, we still, like, I was still, like, up until we get married, this is what we're doing. When we kissed, I made sure it was brief. When we danced, we left room for Jesus. Like, we, we, we, my sister-in-law made fun of us because we had, like, all, like, ten different versions of a side hug that I didn't even know that we had.
So we did this. No one told me to do this. No one laid out the playbook and said, this is what you do. My intense personality reacted to the Bible's teaching on this. And I was like, this is what we're going to do. And we did all the way up until we got the day of our wedding.
The first time we ever made out was in front of camera and our wedding photos. And I know how ridiculous and over the top that sounds. Like, I can hear that. I know how over the top that sounds. And there are some more stories attached to that. I'm sure that our friends, some of the pastors here who have heard them would love to tell you at our expense.
Because we did look a little bit goofy. But, y'all, I knew myself. I knew what I was capable of. And I was like, we're not going down this road. And the Proverbs backed me up on this. It just did.
The overkill guardrails that I set for us were for a reason. I had tapped into significance of sex. That sex is deeply spiritual. It is an intimate act of giving not just your body, but the most vulnerable part of yourself to another. And the Bible has clear boundaries for this in the structure of man and wife. And outside of that, there are major consequences.
I mean, for years I've walked with couples. They're walking through sexual dysfunction in their marriage. And a lot of times you can draw a thread back to premarital sexual activity. I walk with people who are addicted to pornography and have been for decades. And it started when they were 10 years old. This isn't just a physical act.
It's bigger than this. And the Proverbs realizes this and is impressing upon us the importance of taking this very seriously. So the Proverbs is blunt and it is serious on this. But it offers real wisdom. So whether you are single and celibate, whether you are single and desiring marriage, whether you're engaged, whether you are a newlywed, been married a few years, 10 or 30 years, the Proverbs has real wisdom here.
And my hope this morning is that we'd listen and that we'd respond. So let me pray for us and we'll walk through this. Lord, we love you. Some teachings are hard, but we need it for our souls. God, I pray that you would absolutely make this clear to our hearts, compelling to our hearts, that we would walk wisely. We ask this in Jesus' name.
Amen. All right, so we're mostly going to be walking through 5, 1 through 19. The first 5, 6, and 7 are three chapters that mostly deal with the subject matter of sex. I mean, you've been with us in Proverbs for a little bit. You've noticed that we take it topically and that we're, you know, there's one topic and it'll have a proverb here and a proverb here and they're kind of scattered. There are three, the majority of three whole chapters devoted to this subject.
So there's a lot of things that can be said. We don't have the space for it. We're mostly going to be in the first 19 verses of chapter 5. We will pull from some other places in Proverbs. But as we walk through these first 19 verses, I want us to see four different things.
We need to see the delusion of sexual sin. The delusion of sexual sin. Then we need to see the danger of sexual sin. Third, we need to distance ourselves from sexual sin. And lastly, we're going to see that we need to drink ourselves full. Drink yourself full from what is good.
So that's what we're going to see as we walk through this. Let's start out in the first part, the delusion of sexual sin. We'll pick it back up in verse 1 of chapter 5. My son, be attentive to my wisdom. Incline your ear to my understanding that you may keep discretion and your lips may guard knowledge. All right, so we said this at the front of Proverbs when we introduced it.
This mostly is Solomon giving advice to his son. This is a father speaking to his son. All right? So he's saying, here's some wisdom that your lips may guard knowledge. Now, when we hear some of the things he's going to say, we've got to contextualize it for ourselves. Because the example he's going to use for his son is an adulterous woman, a forbidden woman.
All right? Now, that's father to son. We take that, we put it into our context. For some of you, that's going to be an adulterous woman. For some of you, that's going to be an adulterous man. For some of you, that's going to be men and women in pornography.
You've got to contextualize this for yourself as you hear it. And that's what he is saying to his son. Pick it up in verse 3. For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil. But in the end, she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.
Her feet go down to death. Her steps follow the path to shield. He says, lips of a forbidden woman. All right? What that means is, is that there is a woman who is not forbidden, and there are women who are forbidden. Otherwise, he would have just said woman.
So what's built into that is a basic theology of sex. That God has designed marriage for man and wife. It is made for that covenant marriage. It is a gift that God has given for marriage. Outside of it, it is forbidden. So it's very simple.
Are you married to him? Are you married to her? If not, then no. There is no, we're married in our hearts. There is no, we're common law. No, you have either made the marriage commitment, the covenant, or you have not.
If you have not, she is forbidden. Now, we don't know if Solomon is talking to his newly married son or if his son is about to get married. We don't have that direct information. But we do know that regardless, this is going to apply to his son. And he looks at him and he says, this woman, she has lips that drip honey. And that means that her lips look sweet.
There's an appeal to her. That her speech is seductive. It's smooth. It's soothing. It's going to lure you in. There's something appealing about her that would lure you in.
But the reality is, is that she's actually wormwood. Wormwood is a plant that it smells nice. It tastes awful. It is bitter. It looks like honey, but it's actually wormwood. And even more to the point, it's like a sword that will thrust into your chest and destroy you.
Lust is delusional. It's delusional. It's chasing after mirage that will never actually deliver water. It only delivers poison. It delivers death. Sheol is the Old Testament word for this.
It's the place of death. It's delusional. And it's not subtle. So when you get to chapter 7 on this, it's blatant in our face. It says, she is loud and wayward. Her feet do not stay at home.
Now in the street. Now in the market. And at every corner she lies in wait. That even in their time, there's a pervasiveness to the delusion. That it's mainstream. That it is loud.
It doesn't stay home. It's in the marketplace. It's in the street corner. It's everywhere. The delusion is mainstream. And that is true in our culture.
It's in the majority of TV shows. It's all over the internet. I mean, sex outside of marriage is the standard. We're the ones that are the outsiders in culture. It's the standard. But premarital sex, any sex outside of marriage, it divorces pleasure and intimacy from union and commitment.
It removes them from one another. That's part of why breakups after sex are very difficult. You've given a real part of yourself. There's something deeply spiritual that you've given to somebody else without the life commitment that goes with it. And it's standard fare for our culture. It just is.
That after a few dates that you actually enter into sexual activity. That's fairly normal. And the Bible says that's delusional. I mean, what if you're on a date after the third date, the check's coming. He pulled out his phone and said, look, I found us. Three bed, two bath house.
Charmer. I mean, just look at this. They've renovated this. Oh, man. I talked to a lender, all right? And I think we can buy this, right?
We're pre-approved. Let's go. I got a real estate agent we're going to meet with. As soon as we leave the restaurant, let's go take a look at this house. You in? You would look at him and say, thank you for dinner.
I'm going. And we're not going to talk again. Because that's crazy that you would enter into that type of commitment with somebody. And that's the Bible's approach to sex. That it's delusional that we would actually do that. No, but our culture has made it mainstream.
It's pervasive. It's even pervasive when it comes to sexual exploration and sexual identity. Our culture is absolutely going for this. It's not just that you have to tolerate someone's gender exploration. You have to accept it wholesale. Accept wholesale that we're non-binary or you're hateful.
We just went through a whole month of June that was absolutely in your face. That you have to not just accept this. You have to celebrate this. You have to be joyous about this. And I'm here to tell you that it won't bring joy. It looks like honey.
It finishes like one would. There's a reason why. The statistics show this. That for those who decide to transition their gender, the suicide rates are the same before and after. It doesn't actually bring satisfaction and joy. There's a reason why there are tons of people that are leaving the LGBTQ2 lifestyle.
Because they have encountered Christ and said, I want Him. This wasn't satisfying. I want something better. And someone proclaimed the gospel to them and they believed. It's wormwood. It does not bring satisfaction and joy.
But we have a culture that is loudly trumpeting sexual revolution, sexual self-realization as an ultimate joy. And it does not bring satisfaction. It does not bring joy. It is delusional. And it's also dangerous. The Proverbs makes this clear.
The danger of sexual sin. We need to see this. Verse 3. For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey and her speech is smoother than oil. But in the end, she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.
Her feet go down to death. Her steps follow the path to Sheol. Lust leads to death. It's deadly. It leads to the path of Sheol. She does not ponder the path of life.
Verse 6. Her ways wander. And she does not know it. And now, O sons, listen to me and do not depart from the words of my mouth. He's trying to help his sons see. It's dangerous, son.
Don't go this route. Don't chase after this. It is dangerous. This momentary pleasure. The thrill of casual sex. The quick escape to internet pornography.
It will lead your soul to death. Proverbs 7 captures this even more vividly. In Proverbs 7, he says in verse 22, All at once, she, all at once he follows her. As an ox goes to the slaughterer, or as a stag is caught fast, till an arrow pierces its liver. As a bird rushes into a snare, he does not know that it will cost him his life. I had a professor once that talked about there are slaughterhouses that have had problems with cows.
That when they would go to slaughter them, the cows would be very scared and very nervous. And there's a lot of hormones and chemicals that go throughout the cow that you don't want in steak when you actually eat it. So they had to find a way to really calm them down. One of the ways that one of these slaughterhouses figured the troubleshoot this was they started it. As they went up the conveyor belt, they played the sound of a nursing cow. A sweet, pleasant sound that lured them in until they were killed.
That's the picture here. Of an ox that's being led to the slaughterer, or a stag. This is a buck that comes out chasing the scent of a doe, thinking that I'm going to find something. And all of a sudden, a hunter with a compound bone releases an arrow and it pierces into its liver. Which, if you hunt, you know that's a really painful death. That's a bad shot.
It's a painful, painful death. We need to see this, Christians, we need to see the dangers of sexual sin. Because Satan takes far, I mean think about how many Christian leaders, how many pastors, how many community group leaders have been taken down by sexual sin. I mean is it because, as the culture would say, is it because that we are this sexually repressed people in a puritanical tradition that we've inherited for hundreds of years? No. No, we're sexually broken as the rest of culture.
No, it happens because it's easy and it works. It's effective. It's an effective strategy for taking down anyone who's a Christian. It works very simply. I mean you give a Christian who is in a tough season of marriage, a little fresh excitement from a co-worker. You give a woman who has a man in her life that gives a kind voice and kind speech and says nice things to her, lures her into his arms.
You give somebody who is stressed, working 70 hours a week at work, the access to pornography, that it lures you in. It's very easy. It's very effective. One commentator said it this way. He said, Satan shows the bait, but he hides the hook. Shows the bait, hides the hook.
He lures us in and he destroys us. He destroys marriages. He destroys the faith of single men and women. He leads us towards a love of the world that keeps us from following Christ. And Solomon is telling his son, don't do this. Don't go down this road.
In chapter 6, 27, he says it's like playing with fire. He says, can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned? So sometimes you hear the question, how far physically can we go in our relationship while we're dating? Like where's the line here? Someone will ask, you know, what can I watch on TV? Like how much, what is too much sexual content?
Someone will ask, how close can I be, how much of an intimate friendship can I have to someone who's not my wife, who's not my husband? And Solomon says, I don't know how close of a blowtorch, how close can a blowtorch get to your chest? How close to the fire do you want to get before it burns you and it hurts you and it consumes you? We need to see the danger of sexual sin. And thirdly, we need to see that we need to distance ourselves from sexual sin. We need to distance ourselves from sexual sin.
Back to chapter 5, he says in verse 7, He says, stay away. Don't go near your house. You know where it is. Don't go. Like walk as far away as you can. Get away from her.
Get away from him. That's the Bible's treatment on this. In the New Testament, it says, flee sexual immorality. Flee. That's the only time you see it connected to a sin that's listed is fleeing. It's related to sexual immorality.
It doesn't say flee anger thoughts. It says flee sexual immorality. Get away from it. There's a reason why in Genesis 39 when Joseph is lured in and grabbed by Potiphar's wife that he literally runs out of his clothes, practically naked, out of there. He gets out of there. It's dangerous.
You've got to distance yourself. You've got to flee from it. Now, as a young Christian, I read this and I understood this. That's why I aggressively responded in our relationship. We lived in an awkward town for like 15 months because we understood. I was like, we're going to keep as far away from this as possible.
And here's the deal. I would rather you look as goofy and dorky as our relationship did. I would rather you look like that than darken the door of sexual sin. It's not worth it. We have to distance ourselves from this. I mean, and even sexual temptation that comes in thoughts, which is hard, right?
It's hard to control thoughts. It's hard when they come out of nowhere. Like you can have a bad dream the night before and you have sexually explicit images that are in your head when you wake up. There can be sexual content. You've got a storage of it back from years ago that just shows up in the middle of the day. You can be at the gym and all of a sudden temptation just comes in a moment.
That's a reality. But I love what Martin Luther says about this. He says, you can't stop birds from flying over your head, but you can stop them from making nests in your hair. And what he's saying is, you can't help it. Stuff's flying around sometimes. It's out there.
But you can keep it from making a nest in your hair. You can keep it from being implemented in your heart that actually leads to action. That you actually do have control over that power of the Holy Spirit. You absolutely can. So that when temptation comes, you can absolutely...
John Piper has a method on this called the Anthem Method. And I found it to be incredibly practical. And it's an acronym. And in it he says, A, avoid. Like when you do your best, if you can avoid it. Don't darken the door of her house, right?
Don't darken the door of this house. So avoid it as best you can. But when it comes, he says, say no. When sexual temptation comes, say no. If you have to verbally say it out loud, no. And then he says, turn your mind to Christ.
Christ. And one of the ways I've implemented this is that when temptation comes, that I think and I visually picture the bloody and beaten body of my Savior on the cross. I picture myself below the cross as blood is dripping down to know what my sin costs. And I turn my mind to Christ. And he says, hold Christ in your mind. Hold the gospel in your mind.
And then he says, enjoy him. What you ultimately want to do is enjoy him and realize that he's better than sex. He's better than anything this world can offer. And once you've enjoyed him and the thought and the temptation, the feeling has passed, he says, move on. Move on to something else. I found that to be incredibly practical and helpful for my soul in combating sexual sin and temptation.
Verse 9, it says, The reality of sexual sin is it leads to death. And it's a road that you might not come back from. It says that this picture is your honor being taken away, years being taken away, strangers taking away your strength, your flesh and body being consumed. That's the picture that's given here, is that I can enjoy a little bit of sexual sin now, but I'll be fine. I'll come back. Like, I'm young.
Like, I've got time to actually take this more seriously later, maybe when I get married. I love what Martin Lloyd-Jones, a British pastor from the 20th century, says about sin. I love when you apply it to sexual sin specifically. He says, Be careful how you treat God, my friends. You may say to yourself, I can sin against God, and then, of course, I can repent and come back and find God whenever I want Him. And you try it, and you will sometimes find that you not only cannot find God, but that you do not even want to.
You might actually go down this road, and by the end of it, you may not even want God anymore. That your soul has been so corrupted, that you're like, I don't want Jesus anymore. I've seen this over and over again. I've seen friends that were on fire for Christ. They were leaders, and all of a sudden, they pursued sexual sin. A few years later, they just left the faith.
They didn't want Jesus anymore. I've seen popular Christians, worship leaders do this. They pursue sexual sin. They don't come back, because they no longer love Christ, because it corrupts us. Verse 12 says, And you say how I hated discipline, and my heart despised reproof. I did not listen to the voice of my teachers, or incline my ear to my instructors.
I'm at the brink of utter ruin in the assembled congregation. He says, There's so much regret built in this, built into that. Don't hate discipline. Don't hate reproof. When someone comes to correct you on sexual sin, don't hate it. Oh, how he longed, that if he wouldn't have rejected this, that he's at the brink of utter ruin.
We need to distance ourselves from sexual sin. One of the other ways this shows up in chapter 6, one of the ways that he's calling his son to distance himself from sexual sin, shows up in chapter 6, verse 32-34. He says, He who commits adultery lacks sense. He who does it destroys himself. He will get wounds and dishonor, and his disgrace will not be wiped away. For jealousy makes a man furious, and he will not spare when he takes revenge.
You'll see what he did at the top? He who commits adultery lacks sense. He's appealing to reason. That's another way that he's trying to help him see. It's unreasonable. It's illogical.
Don't do this. It can destroy you. It can wound you. It can dishonor you. It can bring disgrace upon you. Don't do this.
There's a book called The Purity Principle. It's by Randy Alcorn. It's really short. It's a small, I mean, it's a really quick read, and it's incredibly practical. If you struggle with lust and sexual temptation, I encourage you, buy that today. It is small and packed with wisdom.
And the bigger argument, the best argument for combating sexual sin is that you would enjoy Christ, so much so that as you love and worship Him and are satisfied with Him, that when sexual temptation comes, you're just like, no, no, no. I don't want that. I want Christ. But the reality is, is that's not always us. There are seasons where that's not enough, where we're struggling. And he says, and he gets real practical.
One of the principles that he lays out, is to reason your way out of it. He says, use reason. Use long, just like this right here. When I read that, and I read what he was kind of prescribing, I went, absolutely, I can do that. And one of the things I do, I know I've mentioned this in other sermons, is that I can play out a scenario in my head, like five years down the road. And I use that.
I use that to my benefit when it comes to sexual temptation, right? When it comes, I'm like, no, if I give into this, then it can lead to this. If it leads to this, then I might lead it into adultery. If it leads me into adultery, adultery, God absolutely will expose that. If he exposes that, man, I'm going to bring disgrace upon my marriage. My wife is going to have to deal with the pain of that.
That I'm going to bring disgrace upon my church. That I, my kids are going to, I've seen this, that kids, once they go through this, and they see their parents get divorced, because of this, they start getting frustrated and angry. They get angry with God. And I'm like, oh no, my kids might not follow Jesus anymore. I'll do it. I'll play it out to 10 years down the road, if that's what it takes.
I'm not taking that step. I'm absolutely going to stop right now, because I don't want to go into destruction. But I, I think you should absolutely do that. You should play out the scenario. You should, you should process and think, is this worth it? Is it worth it to look at this online?
Is it worth it to have this conversation that I know is risky with this other person? Is that worth it? Is it worth seeing my kids every other weekend? You absolutely should play that out in your head. It should cause you to pause deeply. You should reason your way as much as you can to say this isn't worth it.
And he goes on to say, he says, for jealousy makes a man furious. And that, that's a reality as well. It's another, just nugget that he gives. I had a manager one time. I worked for, I worked at Zaxby's for one summer. And my manager, I found out years later, I had an affair with his wife, and the, the, the jealous boyfriend came after him.
He actually was killed. I mean, absolutely, whatever it takes, whatever bit of reason you can come with, absolutely, if it helps you distance yourself from sexual sin, do it. By any godly means necessary. That means that some of you, I've got to get rid of your smartphones. You've got to get a dumb phone. There's a, I think there's a light phone, I get the advertisement all the time.
There's some really nice dumb phones out there. But you should. Absolutely, if it meant your sanctification, it meant you knowing more of Christ, it meant you not falling into the snare of sexual sin, you should do it. Some of you are like, I need it for my work. Okay. If you truly need it for work, then absolutely, you should get some, you should get some software on it.
There's Covenant Eyes, which is a, which is a porn blocking software that you can, you can download onto your phone. You can bring others into accountability on that. There's a new app that I heard about called Canopy that you can download onto your phone. Actually, it literally will, it has artificial intelligence that will literally analyze images as they come across and blur them up, blur them before they show up. I mean, there's helpful tools for us. Some of you have got to cut some people out of your life.
The reasonable thing for you to do is to get some people out of your life. That person who slides into your DMs, that person who messages you out of nowhere, the person who messages you, who says you up, which the only reasonable response to that is no, leave me alone, delete. You got to cut some people out of your life. When I was dating Anna, y'all, I told you I was intense. I guess I am intense, but it was more intense in college. And there was this moment, I worked at a resort one summer, and there was this, there was this co-worker that I had, she was Russian, I was nice to her, she took that niceness as an advance of some sort, and was like, I honestly really think she was like, green card.
I mean, she was there working for the summer, and I was just like, okay, she kind of came out of nowhere with this really long letter, this huge love letter, that she wanted me, and I was just like, there was probably a way to go about this that was more gracious, but I took the letter and I said, this is never, ever, ever going to happen. And then I walked away. It's a more gracious way to go about that, but I was like, I've got a girlfriend, and I love her, and I love Jesus, and no, you need, I'm, there are better ways to go about it, but you, the approach is there. You need to take this seriously.
There are people you need to cut out of your life. Some of your relationships where you've got to hit the reset button, that you've got to hit the reset button, and if y'all can't absolutely change the way that y'all go about your relationship, then you need to break up, and I am dead serious about that, because the road to sexual sin leads to death, and I don't want that for you. Some of you have got to have some really hard conversations. Some of you have got to delete some apps off your phone. You've got to get rid of Tinder. You've got to get rid of Instagram.
You've got to do whatever it takes to distance yourself. Any godly means necessary. Now, these are kind of the negative means of dealing with sexual sin that the proverb spends a lot of time on, but he also shifts into something different in Proverbs 5 that I don't want us to miss. He says, makes the argument, drink yourself full from what is good. Drink yourself full from what is good. Verse 15 says, drink water from your own cistern.
Cistern is a big, they would carve these out, they would hold water. Drink water from your own cistern. Flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets. Now, this is for the person who is married. That part of the strategy is drink water from your own cistern.
Now, that's actually deeply erotic language that if you get into the Hebrew, it's a little more explicit. But the, the, the, the, the, what he is saying there is that you need to have sex with your own wife. You need to drink yourself full from your own wife. And we apply that also. You need to drink yourself full from your own husband. Contrary to popular opinion from people who have never read the Bible, the Bible isn't anti-sex.
It's not. It's very pro-sex when it's in the design that God has made for it in marriage. I mean, you get to 1 Corinthians 7 and he makes, I mean, it's really practical. He says that you should, the only time you should abstain from sex in marriage is for the sake of prayer. And once you've had this season of prayer, quickly, quickly come back. Do not deny each other their conjugal rights is what he's getting at.
I mean, he, I mean, 1 Corinthians 7, 4, he says something that was so counter-cultural in its own day and is still counter-cultural today but for different reasons. In 1 Corinthians 7, 4 he says, for the wife does not have authority over her own body but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body but the wife does. And in their day, 2,000 years ago, telling a Roman citizen that your wife has authority over your body for the sake of pleasure was crazy. I mean, you had a wife that you were married to that was for your line and your money and you had women on the side that were for your pleasure.
That was the Roman lifestyle and Paul just comes in and says, no, she has authority over your body for the sake of intimacy and it's still counter-cultural today. To say in a culture that promotes sexual self-autonomy that your spouse has authority over your body, that your husband has authority over your body, that your wife has authority over your body is outrageous. But that's because marriage is mysterious. It's a mystery. The two become one flesh in a way that you're bound together in a covenant of marriage where you absolutely do not deny one another, that you absolutely come together that you would love each other with erotic love.
That's the command that you would fight for this. I mean, you can look at the Song of Solomon and read that book and it upholds this erotic love that you would have between man and wife and Proverbs 5 gives us a snapshot of that. Going into the last three verses, it says, let them be for yourself alone and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth. A lovely dear, a graceful doe, let her breasts fill you at all times with delight. Be intoxicated always in her love.
And Solomon looks at his son and he says, rejoice in the wife of your youth. It, rejoice in her. She's a lovely doe, which I wouldn't use that as a come online. It doesn't translate for us today, but what he's getting at there is that she's graceful and beautiful. He says, he has erotic language. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight.
At all times. That you would enjoy one another. That you would be so intoxicated with her love that she would stagger you. That she would knock you out. That is what he is getting at here. Now, I understand that sometimes this is difficult in marriage.
That there is sexual dysfunction that shows up in marriage. And it's one of the reasons that we absolutely, as pastors, are willing to meet with you and walk with you through that. We care about intimacy in marriage because there's a lot of different complexities to that. There's a lot of complexities at different stages in marriage where sex is difficult. We're absolutely willing to have that conversation and to help you see the truth of this. Because it's good for you and it's good for your spouse.
I had a professor in seminary. He mentioned this story one time where he had this woman in their church. They would always come up to him and say lots of nice things, flattering things. And his wife said, that woman likes you. And he's like, no, no, she's just being nice. And they just disagreed on him.
And what happened was is that every time that woman came up to him, she walked right up beside him and she stood right beside him. Every time, she stood in the way between him and destruction. Now he later recognized, he figured out, yeah, that woman actually did like me. But she wasn't going to wait for him to realize that. She took ownership of their sanctification and stood in the way between him and destruction. And he taught that as an application for marriage.
And what I found incredibly helpful when you apply this to the subject matter of intimacy is that you would love your spouse so much that you would stand in between them and destruction. that you would love them so much that you would stand in between them and fall into pornography. Stand in between them and somebody at their place of work. That you would love them. That you would pursue them. That you would let them drink you full. And you would drink them full.
That you would let them drink of your cistern. That you would apply this in a way that is for your good and for the good of your spouse. Now, Solomon, he makes this argument that sexual sin is delusional. That it leads to death. That you should distance yourself. And that you should drink from your own cistern.
Now, here's how it applies whether you are married or not. Whether you are in a marriage or whether you are seeking marriage or whether you are celibate. Here's how this applies. There is something far better than sex. Far better than even godly sex. Jeremiah teaches that we believe that God, that Jesus is a flowing fountain that is better than the broken cisterns that we have made for ourselves.
The broken cisterns that we have carved out, that we have hewn out for our self. And when you apply this to sex, what we believe is is the pinnacle of pleasure. The pinnacle of pleasure in this life is not erotic sex. It is not sexual fulfillment. We believe that the pinnacle, the highest pleasure, the highest good is oneness with Christ. It is the worship of our triune God.
So what that means is is the best sex you could ever have. The best possible sex you could ever have. Hear this. Pales in comparison to the pleasures of Christ. Pales in comparison. The feeling that you will have in His presence when you are in a glorified new heaven, new earth, new body.
The feeling that you will have before Christ for eternity is better than the temporary moment of pleasure in this life. You have to believe this. If you don't believe this, you will follow down the road to destruction. You will believe that sex is better than Jesus and it will take you to places that you never thought you would go. And the Bible sits here and it pleads with you to see Christ as better, to see worship of Him as better, to have an eternal mindset that looks at all of this and says, no, He's worth the denial of myself. He's worth the denial of my flesh.
He's worth my worship because it leads to life with Him and the other road to be bluntly leads to hell. Now, that's the Proverbs. I don't know if you've been with us in Proverbs. it speaks very bluntly and it speaks very bluntly about sexual sin and this is heavy and it is corrective, I know, in the sorest of places in our broken sexual stories. I know that hits in some really difficult places. That is why I am thankful that the Bible isn't reduced to the Proverbs, that we have the whole story. I'm thankful we read Proverbs in the light of the rest of Scripture.
There's a moment in Jesus' ministry in John 4 where He goes out of His way to Samaria which is way out of place for where He was going in His ministry. He goes to Samaria and He goes to this well outside of Samaria at the right time of the day to meet a specific person, a woman. And He meets this Samaritan woman at this well and they start talking about this well and she quickly realizes that He's not just talking about the well, He's talking about something bigger, that Jesus is teaching this concept of living water, that He provides living water, that what He provides is better than this world. And as He's teaching this concept that we just talked about, that worship of Him is better than anything else in this world, He points out something.
He points out her sexual brokenness. He says, yes, you've had five marriages and the man you're living with now is not your husband. He points that out. And in the midst of pointing out her sexual brokenness, He makes the offer. He says, worship me. I have living water that will satisfy you.
That you will be able to worship something that is so much better than anything this life could offer. And He makes that offer to us. Those of us that have sexually broken past, those of us who are living in a sexually broken present, Jesus makes the offer of living water to our souls. He makes the offer of grace to us. He stands at the well with you and says, I'm here. Would you drink of me?
I'm here. I've got grace. I know your story. I know your brokenness. I know the darkest moments, the darkest thoughts, the darkest things in your soul. I've seen it and I want you.
I want you to drink of this well. He makes that offer that you might come and taste and see that He is better than sex. That you might see that His blood, that it washes away our sin. We're about to sing a song that says, What can wash away our sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus. He makes that offer that in our sexual brokenness, there is blood that covers us if you come to Him.
And my hope is that you would. My hope is that you would come to Him. He has grace for our sexual brokenness. He has healing for our stories. and He offers a better one for you. And my hope is you take it today. The band is going to come up.
And I just want us to take a few moments and I want us to sit in that reality. Some of you have heard this and this feels so foreign to you because the gospel feels foreign. I want you to know very clearly that God loves you so much that He sent His Son to be broken, His blood to be shed for you so that you would not be enslaved to the pleasures of this world but you might find freedom in Christ. My hope this morning is that you would place faith in Him. That you would not delay. That you would not chase the road of sexual sin to death.
He offers life. He is at the well. My hope is that you would drink the water. There are those of us that hear this, that hear really the bluntness of Proverbs and we feel the brokenness in our souls. We are reminded of things that happened last night, that happened last week. We are reminded of things that happened years ago.
When you place faith in Jesus, do you know what He sees in the midst of your most sexually broken moments? You know what God the Father sees? For those of us who are in Christ, He sees the spotless, perfect record of the Lamb. He sees your sin covered by His blood. There is grace for our brokenness. There is grace for our sin. receive it.
Know that He's covered your sin. And in the grace that He gives you, may you look at the costly nature of His blood and say, I don't want this lifestyle of sexual. I don't want pornography. I don't want continuous, empty sex. I want Jesus. For those of you that are working through broken parts of your marriage, Jesus stands at the well.
He wants to bring healing to your story. You can't bring healing to your story unless you start to walk in the light. You need people in your group. You need to have some conversations with your group leaders, maybe with some of us as pastors, so that you can see the beautiful design of sex for your marriage and the intimacy that it brings for you. My hope is that we'd sit for the next few moments as we hear these words, that we allow the Holy Spirit to go to work on our hearts and we'd respond. Let me pray.
Lord, we love You. We pray that You would absolutely go to work on our hearts. There is so much brokenness in this room, so much brokenness in my heart and the hearts of those who are here. We need You. For those who have not believed, God, I pray You'd open their heart this morning that they might believe. For those that are wrestling with sexual sin, I pray they'd see all of this.
It's delusional, but it does not bring joy. I pray that we'd see the danger of it. I pray that we would absolutely flee from it. That You go to work on our heart right now, that in our community groups this week, that You would bring stuff to light, that we would walk through together. Lord, bring healing so we desperately need it. We ask this in Jesus' name.
Amen.
Wisdom and Making Decisions
Use this guide to help your group discussion as you meet this week.
Transcript
Thank you. Thank you. And grow in decisions. So, one of the worst decisions that I've made in our 10 years of marriage came in year one. Shocker. So, we moved to Louisville, Kentucky to go to seminary and we really wanted a dog.
So, Friday came, getting ready to go find this animal. It's across the river in Indiana. Look at the weather and my wife says, hey, there are, they're calling for tornadoes. Should we wait until tomorrow? And I said, because I'm from South Carolina and I know all about tornadoes. I said, nah, we'll be fine.
It's a bunch of hype. Like, they hype it up and all of a sudden, like, you know, it blows a trailer or a car over. It's not that big of a deal. We'll be fine. Get in the car. Let's go.
So, 30 minutes up the road. I look at the sky and it's green. It's a color I've never seen before. And it was mildly terrifying. I was turning to AM radio. Sure enough, tornadoes had been spotted.
So, we take cover in a gas station. They were kind of talking it up like, oh, yeah, this tornado hit this town, this town. And I kind of looked outside as, you know, a professional meteorologist and said, you know, it cleared up a little bit. Let's go for it. Get back in the car. Drive about a mile down the road and the bottom dropped out.
I mean, sheets of rain, wind howling. A police and an ambulance took cover. And I said, oh, no. Fishtailed the car right back to the gas station. And we hunkered down. My wife was huddling the toilet because that was the one thing that had in-ground plumbing, questioning her decision to marry me.
And for 15 minutes, wind was pounding and shaking the gas station. Rain was falling. And finally, it stopped. Called my dad. I was like, look, we are in this part of Kentucky about a crossover of the river. Can you, are we good?
Like, can we actually go and get this dog? Still committed to getting the dog. He said, yeah, it's passed over. Went and got the dog. On the way back, saw some of the destruction. Turns out, in the Midwest, they mean business when they say tornadoes.
It's a different ball game. About 30 miles west of where we were was a town called Henrysville. When an F5 tornado a mile wide leveled that town and killed 37 people. And then when it came to the Kentucky-Indiana line where we were, it turned into thunderstorms. When it picked back up into eastern Kentucky, it turned into an F3 tornado. It was a big learning experience.
And it was a terrible decision. Because that dog has ended up being the worst dog I've ever had. I loathe this creature. We've had him for 10 years. He's awful. If you've been around my house, you know this.
He's terrible. And it almost got us killed. It was a bad decision for so many reasons. And I look back at that. And, you know, not since we moved back. I feel like I've made a lot better decisions.
I've left all my bad decisions in Kentucky. But I look at that and I look at some of the other ways that I've made decisions. And realized that I just, I kind of made it from my gut. I was like, yeah, we'll be fine. And it put us in dire consequences. Death.
Right? It just made the decision from the gut and thought it was going to be okay. Not realizing that the Midwest, when they have tornado events, they mean something. That's a lot bigger deal. I could have done a lot of things. I could have done more research.
I could have called the people who I just met and been becoming friends with and just asked them, hey, when, you know, when the Torkon says 10 out of 10, is that a big deal? And they would have said, yes. No one's going anywhere. Hunker down. Like I could have learned a lot of things. But I didn't.
I didn't. I made a quick decision. We ran with it. And it almost cost us dearly. Well, it did cost us dearly in the fact that we got that dog. But this is what happens.
And the Proverbs has wisdom for us. It has wisdom for us in how to make decisions. And that's what we're going to look at today. We're going to look at the wisdom that the Proverbs gives us on decision making. If some of you have made decisions, you're going to make decisions, right? What are you going to study in school?
Are you going to play this sport or that sport? What college are you going to go to? What will you major in when you get there? What Job are you going to take? Where are you going to take a job? Who are you going to date?
Are you going to marry this person? Right? How long are you going to work? Are you going to retire? When are you going to retire? What are you going to do in your retirement?
You have a lot of decisions that show up in life. And the Proverbs gives us some principles in how to make those decisions wisely. And that's what we're going to look at today. We're going to open God's word. We're going to see from the Proverbs five different principles for how to make wise decisions. So let me pray and then we will jump into the text.
Father, we thank you that you've given us your word. God, I pray that you would absolutely open our hearts to receive it. I pray that we would not hear this and reject it, but we would be doers of the word. And we would implement these principles so that we can grow in decision making. We ask this in Jesus' name. Amen.
All right. So these are five different principles that come from the Proverbs. These are not necessarily step by step. You can choose to do that if you want to. All right.
But sometimes decisions that, you know, life is messy. All right. But these are five different principles that you should apply from the Proverbs in order to be wise decision makers. So first principle. Slow down. Slow down.
And I have some kind of directives if you want. This helps your head. It helps your brain a little bit. Stop. When you go to make a decision, stop. All right.
The problem is, is that we make decisions too quickly because we think we're right. We think we're the best source of knowledge. Proverbs 12, 15 says, the way of the fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. We think we're right in our own eyes. We think our wisdom and what we're drawing from is the way to go. And listen, the problem is, is that we're wrong.
The problem is, is that we are actually a lot of times ignorant. And it's okay to be ignorant. Ignorant does not mean stupid. Ignorant means you lack knowledge. And the reality is, on a whole host of issues in life, you don't know what you don't know. You are ignorant.
And wisdom is embracing this, acknowledging that yes, you are ignorant, but in your ignorance, you would choose to operate wisely. You choose to seek and to grow and to learn and to not move quickly. And that is the problem. Proverbs 19, 2 says, desire without knowledge is not good. And whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way. Proverbs 21, 5 says, the plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance.
But everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty. The problem is, is that we are too hasty. We operate too quickly. We see something. We make a decision. We don't do our diligence, our due diligence in deciding.
So you see this a lot of times in real estate. You'll see some people get excited about opening a restaurant. And they get excited. They pull their money together. They say, we're going to buy this building. We're going to open a restaurant.
They buy the building. They pour a million dollars into renovating to get all excited about this restaurant. And then right when they're getting ready to open, they realize they didn't check the ordinances of that area. And they can't get a beer and liquor license, which if you do restaurants, is very important to your bottom line. And they're stuck because they can't do anything. This happens all the time.
People get excited. They jump on something. They move too hastily. And it leads to, as the proverb says, poverty. It leads to self-destruction. Younger people, and when I say younger people, I mean under the age of 40, we are notoriously bad at this.
Setting on a decision when you are my age feels like an eternity. Right? Because we're like, go. Come on. Let's go.
Let's make a decision. Let's pull the trigger. Let's do something. That's how we operate. You know, people say, well, we love each other. So, come on.
Let's just go ahead. Let's get married. People say, oh, yeah, the job, it's in a city. It pays more. Sure. Take it.
Let's do this. We move too quickly. And while that can save a lot of time on the front end, you pay for it in the back end. Right? It makes life a lot more difficult. It makes what happens out of that even harder, especially when you cut corners.
If you've ever done a home project where you cut corners, where you move too quickly, you know you'll pay for it. With a day's more of work, with five more trips to Lowe's, it happens. When you move too hastily, you end up paying for it in the end. I want you to think of, and seriously, I want you to actually think about this. I want you to think of the decisions you've made in the past that were very bad. You've got some.
Maybe not getting caught in a tornado death bad. But you've got some decisions you can pull from that were bad. Ask yourself, how quickly did you make those decisions? A couple of minutes? A couple of hours? A day or two?
How long did it take you to make a decision? The reason that we need to slow down is we need time to process. We need time to evaluate whether this is wise, whether this is good, whether this is what God wants us to do. If you don't do that, you operate from your own gut. And as we saw before, we think we're wise in our own eyes. We think our gut is accurate.
And a lot of times, it is not. You have to train yourself to pump the brakes. Stop. When you've got a big decision, even some of the smaller decisions, just slow down and stop. Don't move too hastily. Once you've done this, principle two.
Go to the Lord. Go to the Lord. For a directive, stop, all right, and look up. All right? Go to the Lord. Proverbs 3, 5 through 6 says, trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make straight your paths. It says, trust in the Lord wholeheartedly. Don't lean on your own insight. Don't lean on your own gut when you come to make decisions. The Lord is calling us to look up and to acknowledge Him. And if you acknowledge Him, if you seek Him earnestly in decision making, it says, your paths will be made straight.
It will go easier. It will go straighter for you, generally. The wise realize this. The wise realize this. That's why they pause in decision making and they turn to the Lord for insight. My question is, do we do that?
And think of some of the decisions that you make in life. And ask yourself, did you acknowledge the Lord in a way that was earnest? That you came to Him earnestly seeking Him when it came to time to buy a house? Or when it came time to choose a job? Or to say yes to a date? Or to say yes to marriage?
Or who to marry? When it came to decisions for your kids and where they might need to go to school? When it came to retirement? Did you take the time to earnestly seek the Lord? Or did you rely on your own insight? Did you humble yourself before the Lord?
One of the easiest first questions for, first actions for you to take. And questions for you to ask. Is what does the Bible say? When it comes to a decision, open up His word. And a lot of times, the Bible speaks very clearly on some things. And once it speaks clearly, you can just respond.
So it says, you have the question, should I move in with my girlfriend? No. The Bible speaks clearly. No, you should not. It says, flee from sexual immorality. You should not put yourself in a position where that would be a consistent temptation.
You shouldn't put yourself in a position that might mar your Christian witness. No, you should not. The Bible speaks clearly to that. You might ask myself, oh man, should I report this income to the IRS? At tax time? Should I admit that I made this on that?
Yes. Yes, you should. The Bible speaks clearly to this. Pay to Caesar. Jesus teaches it. Pay to Caesar what is Caesar's.
Pay to the Lord's what is the Lord's. Absolutely. Pay your taxes honestly. We should seek the word on this when it comes to decisions. And as we seek God's word, as we open it up, we should also pray. And pray earnestly.
Now, here's what happens. If you're a Christian, you've been following Jesus for a little bit, you know this proverb. You're familiar with it. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. So when it comes to make decisions, maybe you've got a meeting that you need to, it's going to have an important decision.
What do you do before your meeting? You pray. Right? Got an email that comes in that's going to be kind of how you write this, how you decide on this is going to be important. You pray. And what happens is, is that we reduce this proverb to a mere checking of a box.
Where it's like, okay, I prayed. I'm good. Now I decide. Now, I'm not against praying before meetings. We do it as elders. All right?
I'm not against praying before making decisions. But what happens is, is that if we reduce this, there's just a formula where it's just, I need to just come before the Lord, pray, and then figure it out myself. You're still operating out of your own gut. You're still reasoning from yourself. As opposed to earnestly seeking the Lord and listening to what he might have to say. Listening to how he might speak into the situation.
Proverbs 16, 1 through 3 says, We need more than operating off of our gut. We need more than checking a box to pray. We need to earnestly seek the Lord. Because our, as it says, our plans are not wise. Our plans that come from our heart are not wise. They are not good.
We need the Lord to weigh, it says, our spirit. Now, from the Hebrew into English, the literal, literal, literal word is spirit. But what the meaning is being conveyed there, which you'll see in other translations, is motive. That your motives might be weighed. Part of decision making and coming before the Lord and seeking him is having the Lord weigh your motives. Giving the time and the space to see whether your motives are self-centered.
To whether they're self-interested. And they're not in the interest of the good of others. You need time and space for the Holy Spirit to work on your heart. And you really need the Holy Spirit to be a prosecuting attorney. That actually shows and reveals what's going on in your heart. There are times where my wife and I, we get in a disagreement or an argument about a decision that needs to be made.
And we go back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. And we've got to take some time to keep thinking apart. And it's mostly I need time for her to realize that she's wrong. And that she would come to her senses and realize that I have great wisdom. And based off of a brilliant track history, you guys. So I give her time.
And in the quiet before the Lord, he starts to work. He starts to prod on my heart. And when it happens, guys, when this happens, I'm not saying this is good. But when it happens, I just get frustrated. Because I'm like, ugh. I've seen where this goes.
I know it's happening here. He's going to start revealing sin. He's going to start pointing at things. He's going to start saying, 1 Peter 3, 7. Live with your wife in an understanding way. And you haven't been doing that.
He's going to start showing my self-interest and my selfish ways. And I'm going to have to repent. And it's going to be tiresome. And I'm prideful. And I want to be right. But I might be wrong here.
You see how when you give this space before the Lord, how he goes to work on our souls. We need time for that. He's going to weigh our selfish motives. He's going to weigh our self-interest. And that takes more than a quick prayer. That takes earnestly opening up the Bible, singing him a prayer, listening for the Lord to speak.
We need this space. We need to stop. We need to look up. And what the Proverbs teaches next, in abundance, is this third principle. Go to one another. Go to one another.
So stop, look up, and then look side to side. The Proverbs over and over and over. There are a lot of Proverbs on going to those around you. It's not just two heads are better than one. It is multiple heads are better than your own. And we have to buy into this idea that a multitude of counselors, a multitude of advisors is good for us.
Proverbs 12, 15, we read that earlier. It says, the way of a fool is right in his own eyes. But a wise man listens to advice. We need advice that is not of ourselves. Proverbs 15, 22 says, without counsel, plans fail. But with many advisors, they succeed.
Proverbs 11, 14 says, where there is no guidance, a people falls. But in an abundance, in an abundance of counselors, there is safety. An abundance of counselors, an abundance of voices speaking into your decisions. The problem is, is that we are very Western-minded. We are very individualistic. That's how we're built as Westerners.
We think within ourselves. We don't think with a communal lens. And when you take the fact that we're Western individualists, and you multiply that by the fact that we are Americans, we are very confident. Our students are ranked like, it changes every year, 25th in math, 27th in science. You know what they're ranked number one in? Confidence.
We are, and that's not just students. That's all the way up. We are a very confident bunch. I'm going to confidently celebrate how America is great today. With grilling out and with fireworks. Amen.
That is awesome. But the problem is, is when you take that mindset of confidence, overlap by the fact that we are Western individualists, we don't think with a communal lens. We don't openly invite people into decision-making. We think that's a solo act. And the Proverbs aggressively, aggressively comes at that. We see it over and over and over again, how this plays out even in our own church.
You've seen it in community groups. All of a sudden, somebody shows up to a community group, and they say, all right, you guys, taking a job, and we're moving away next week. And it's like, what? You've been in this group for three years? Did you talk to anybody in our group? Have you sought wisdom or counsel from anybody in this?
Did you just up and decide to leave and not tell anyone beforehand? No, the Proverbs says that's foolishness. Someone will show up and they'll say, I'm engaged. And it's like, to do what? Engaged to a human? To that guy you've been dating for a month?
Did you talk to anyone about this? You have people in your life that love you, that care for you. Did you seek us out on this? People say, I'm decided that, you know, they'll send an email or they'll post it on a group chat and say, all right, guys, I've decided we're going to check out another church. And we've been here for a few years, but we decide, we pray, and we feel like this is where the Lord's leading us. And it's like, what?
You haven't talked to anybody in your group. Did you talk to the pastors? Have you talked to anyone? You just decided all by yourself that you're just going to leave and you did it in an email? And let me pause for a second. Coaching for those of you that are on the receiving end of this.
Don't clap. When someone says they made a decision that was big and they just come and present it as fact and they're moving on, don't like it in a group chat. Don't clap and say, pray and then it goes well. And it's like, no, no, no, pause. There's correction neither. The Proverbs aggressively corrects this mindset.
It calls us to trust in the collective wisdom in one another. Trust in the Holy Spirit in one another. So when somebody says, the Holy Spirit told me, it's like maybe there's some biblical precedent for that. But the Holy Spirit is in one another. When you have five people that love you, that know you, that know your track record, that know your history, that know your sin and have the Holy Spirit in them. And you have openly just said, the Lord has told me something.
You need to be cautious. As if the Lord only speaks to you and not those around you. We need to hear this. We need to not rely on our own intuition. On our own experience before the Lord. We need this.
Y'all, I, this trust in the abundance of a counselor's, that there's safety in that. I live by this. All right. I make decisions sometimes that are too hasty. As you heard at the very beginning of this. I make decisions too quickly.
I don't acknowledge the Lord enough. I'm not earnestly seeking Him enough. But I live by this. Because I just accept that I'm fairly ignorant in a lot of circumstances. I've embraced that. That I'm a generalist.
I know, if you know me, I know a little about a lot of things. I'm not what you would call an expert. And I just, I find safety in other people. I reach out to our pastors on a regular basis. I talk to my group. I'm talking to people from Texas.
To Louisville. All across the country. I want to make sure that I've got guardrails. That I'm thinking through this carefully. We need this. We need to reject this Western individualistic.
I can do this on my own Lone Ranger mindset. Because the Proverbs looks at that and says, it's foolish. It says, you are a fool for thinking that you could do this all on your own. We have blind spots here. And the Proverbs aggressively corrects this. And my hope is, is we would not hear this and reject it.
But we let the Spirit go to work on us and realize we need the collective wisdom in one another. Proverbs 18, 1 through 2. It says, whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire. He breaks out against all sound judgment. A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion. So if you can humble yourself to actually talk to others.
To invite them in to speak in. You should listen. You should not be just concerned with offering your opinion and using them as a sounding board. You ever talk to somebody where that's the case, where you're talking to them and it's clear they're not listening. All they're doing is they're formulating their next opinion. They're formulating their next thought.
And they're not listening. It's foolishness. Now the Bible calls us to listen. When someone's talking to you, listen. Actively fight to listen to what they are saying. And they may be saying things that are corrective in heart.
If they love you enough, that's the hope. Proverbs 10, 17 says, One of the reasons I love our church is because we don't pedestal our pastors. In fact, we probably, to the other extreme, we kind of shame each other. As you've heard over and over again, if you've been with us long enough. I love the fact that we don't pedestal one another because it doesn't elevate us to a place where someone could come to us and with the right heart and mindset correct us. I've been corrected by other pastors.
I've been corrected by group members. I've been corrected by friends and family in this church. And I need this. I need correction. I need people in my life that are pointing and saying, I don't think you're thinking about this the right way. I need people, this happened about a month ago, where my wife and I, we got an argument about something in front of our group.
We feel comfortable enough to have that argument. And my posture was off. And then later, one of our group members just said, hey bro, you were completely off there. We need this type of correction. You need people in your life that will do this. It's one of the reasons that I love Raz Bradley.
Raz Bradley is one of our pastors. He's more behind the scenes guy. He's really annoying. And I invite his annoying takes into my life all the time. We think differently. We operate differently.
We look at situations differently. And all the time I'm calling him. I'm messaging him. I'm like, Raz, help me think of this. And it's obnoxious. Because he's going to push on things.
He's going to prod in my heart. And he's going to tell me I'm wrong. He's going to tell me other things as well. But I need that. I need that kind of voice in my life. I openly invite it.
Because I know I need this type of reproof in my life. I need people speaking into my life. And sometimes what they might say isn't helpful. I'm not saying that off the back end of telling you about Raz. But I'm telling you, sometimes you need to be discerning.
Because sometimes what they say is not correct. Proverbs 14, 15 says, The simple believes everything, but the prudent gives thought to his steps. So invite counselors. Invite advisors. Invite people into your life. Invite your group to speak in.
And sometimes they're not going to say the most helpful things. It's going to happen. They're not inerrant. They will make mistakes. You'll hear somebody in group. You'll tell a story.
And all of a sudden they'll go, You know, I think you losing your wedding ring was a sign. I think that's a sign. I think what God might be telling you is, Is that you're not finding happiness in your marriage. And that you might be rethinking all of this. And it's like, No. No, no, no, no.
That's dumb. It happens. Sometimes people don't know what to say. They fill the void with things. Alright? You listen.
And you take what they say. And you filter through the word of God. You filter through the collective wisdom of one another. That's what we're called to do. Last point. I've cut out a ton of Proverbs on this.
I mean, just one more point on this. Younger people. And we qualify this. Even younger people. If you are college-aged and below. So if you're college-age, high schoolers, middle schools.
Right now. Listen up. I want you to hear this proverb. 15.5 A fool despises his father's instruction. But whoever heeds reproof is prudent.
Don't despise your parents' instruction. Your dad has lived twice as long as you. Your mom has twice as much life experience as you. Do not just say they're stupid and move on. Listen. If you are younger, you are ignorant.
And that's okay. No. I don't mean that to be a joke. I mean that very seriously. It is okay to be ignorant. Part of wisdom when you're younger is acknowledging that you're ignorant.
And that's okay. You don't know what you don't know. It's part of growing up. But for you to just openly and quickly reject your parents' wisdom is foolishness. And if you think, if you think they're wrong and your parents are not inerrant, they do make mistakes. If you think they're wrong, open up the Bible.
Go to the Word of God. Come to them. I'm sure they would love to open up the Bible with you and study it. And if you keep studying the Word, you know, you want to invite a community group leader or a pastor in, that's fine. But trust your parents.
They are not. They've lived longer than you. All right. That's enough on one another. Stop. Look up.
Look side to side. Four. Keep learning. Keep learning. And there's kind of a looking forward and looking backward approach to this. So let's look at the look forward approach first in keeping learning.
Proverbs 18.15 says, An intelligent heart acquires knowledge. And the ear of the wise seeks knowledge. Intelligence is not settling for what you know. It's not settling there. It's realizing you don't know enough. Some of the most intelligent, some of the wisest people are the most curious people.
They're curious. They're not threatened by new knowledge. They want to learn. They want to grow. They want to research. They want to figure stuff out.
Don't rely on your current bank of knowledge. Don't stop learning. Keep researching. Grow alongside of everything that we've talked about already. Learn and do the research. So you have a job that pays $15,000 or more in a different city.
Have you done the research? Have you done the research that possibly moving to that new city, that housing is double the price? Especially right now. And if it's double the price, that means of what you normally have, that's double usually the monthly payment of what you normally have. So if you're going to pay $1,000 a month more to live there, that's $12,000 right there a year.
That $15,000 pay raise just got smaller. There's cost of living. There's all kinds of factors to consider. But that takes research. That takes learning. That takes asking people.
That takes a ton of learning. Some of you got STEMI money. Stimulus money. And you got real excited. And you said, you know what? I just got $8,000 this year.
Dogecoin. And you went all in on some crypto. Which if you don't know what crypto is, it's fine. If you never knew about crypto, you'd still be fine. I'm not against crypto. I have some.
But you went all in and said, Dogecoin. I put it all in. Did you do the research? Besides listening to one podcast? Did you actually seek out financial advisors? Which we have in our church family.
Did you think about this before you put all your money in Dogecoin? Which hasn't been going as great lately. It takes learning and searching. Seeking the Proverbs and their wisdom on this. Going to the internet with a ton of caution. The internet has a lot of information.
To navigate it wisely will help you learn about things. You need to seek. You need to learn. You need to grow. And you also not just need looking forward in learning. You need to look backwards and learn from your history.
And learn from history in general. Proverbs 26, 11. It says, Like a dog that returns to his vomit is a fool who repeats his folly. Like a dog that returns to his vomit is a fool who repeats his mistakes. Have you ever seen a dog do this? If you haven't, I've got one.
It's disgusting. They vomit. And they stare at it. And they think, you know what? Encore. It's gross.
And that grossness you just felt is what the Proverbs is trying to convey. If you are willing to repeat your folly, that's the picture. It's a picture of foolish ridiculousness. The last 20 years of our country has driven me nuts because we've just got both parties. That's why I feel like I can say this. Both parties have just spent trillions and trillions of dollars we don't have.
And it's like, have we learned from history that civilizations, that countries who mount this kind of debt, it doesn't end well? Well, right? If you want to debate modern monetary theory later, you can with me. But we personally don't learn from this. It's not just cultural. We don't learn from our mistakes.
We make bad investments. We take the same shortcuts over and over and over again. We hang out with the same people that are toxic for us. Like someone who used to get drunk and high with the same crew of people, takes a minute and steps away from them, and starts growing them more of Jesus, and they go and hang out with them again. And they're like, oh, I've just fallen back into getting high. And it's just like, wait, of course you have.
Like, just, we don't learn from it. We don't know ourselves well enough. We don't learn enough about ourselves to look backwards and to see the mistakes that we have made, to see where we are weak, to see where we need to, we don't think about this enough. And the proverb says, like a dog that turns to his vomit is those of us who do not learn from our own history, that do not learn from our own mistakes, that do not protect ourselves and insulate ourselves from foolishness and from sinfulness and from waywardness that we're prone to. No, we've got to learn from our history. Look forward.
Learn as much as you can. Look backward. Learn from your history. And the fifth and final principle that the Proverbs puts forward is trust the sovereignty of God in this side. Trust God's sovereignty, his rule and his reign and his control over all things. Trust him in this side.
Proverbs 16.9 says, The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. You can make plan and plan after plan. God will establish your steps. He is sovereign. He is in control over every single choice you make. Proverbs 16.33 says, A lot is cast into the lap.
So the most equivalent we have is dice. But essentially they would use this in decision making in certain circumstances in this context. The lot is cast into the lap, but every decision is from the Lord. God is sovereign over every single aspect. We need to believe this, that God is sovereign over every decision. Now, that doesn't absolve us from choosing wisely.
Because what happens is, especially for people that are comfortable with the sovereignty of God. They'll just say, you know what? I got door A. I got door B. I got a sovereign. A.
Boom. And it's like, no. You're like, that's God's will either way, right? You misunderstand the will of God. That you're talking about the greater overarching will of God that is sovereign in control over all things. Will has multiple uses in the Bible.
There's God's immediate will for you in your life. His immediate will for you is your sanctification. You're going to be more like Christ. And you're not being foolish. So, no. You can't just say, either one.
Boom. It's God's will anyways. No. Absolutely no. You are misunderstanding it. You are still called to walk carefully.
But my gut says is that most people are probably not like that in our church family. It's my gut. Which I said earlier might not be the best thing. My intuition is that we probably, that's not how we operate. Most of us probably. And we probably think through some of this stuff well.
And I know that some of you, even more so, get very anxious about decisions. And maybe you've done all, you've stopped and you've looked up and you've prayed and you've sought the word. And you've talked to other people in our church. You live in community and you have people speaking into you. You hear all these voices. You've done the research.
You've looked at your past history. You're looking for it. And you're trying to figure it all out. And you just get paralyzed. It's like, I don't know what to do. Am I doing God's will if I choose this, if I do that?
And if that's you, I just want to pause and very clearly say, if you have gone faithfully about this, if you've acted wisely in this, decide. Trust the Lord. And then make a decision. And then go to bed. We trust in the sovereignty of God. We believe this, that He ultimately works for our good.
And we know this because He ultimately worked for our good at the cross. He ultimately worked for our good at the work of the empty tomb. He ultimately works for the good of wayward sinners that He pursues and claims as His own. He ultimately works for our good as Christians because He cares for you. He loves you. He holds you.
He's near to you. He ultimately works for our good. And if that is true, and we absolutely believe it is true, you can make a decision and go to bed. Because it may be difficult. It may not work as well as you think it might. And it may bring about suffering.
But we believe this, that God works for our good. And if that is true, and you've acted wisely, you can make a decision and then rest and sleep and move on. We need to grow in this, you guys. We need to grow in being a church that makes wise decisions, that humbles ourselves to these principles. Don't just say yes to somebody who asks you on a date without stopping for a second. Don't do it.
Don't just say, I'm going to take the job. Without earnestly seeking the Lord and word and prayer, He has wise things to say to you. Don't just move your family to another church or elsewhere without talking to your group, without talking to people in your life. Don't make unsound financial decisions on a whim. Do the research. Think critically.
Invite others into it. Make wise decisions. Trust in the sovereignty of God. He works for your good. The band is going to come up. And I just want to take a few moments and reflect as we prepare to respond in worship.
The reality is, is that many of us have made very poor decisions. And I just want to tell you very clearly that the bad decisions you have made, there's grace for your failure. There's grace for your failure to stop. There's grace for your failure to seek the Lord, to bring others in. For those of you that box people out, I don't know your story. You might have some, you might have some people you trusted in the past, some Christians you trust in the past that hurt you.
I'm not discounting that experience. I am saying that God works through a flawed and broken people. And that ultimately, if you trust Him in His Word, it will go better for you. If you, if you, instead of just going out on your own and deciding on your own, we need to grow in this. We have grace for our foolishness. But we also have the Word of God that corrects us.
My hope is, is that as we respond to the Word of God this morning, that we would not argue with the Spirit, but we would let Him convict. And in the conviction that we receive, that we would respond. And we grow in being wise decision makers. Let me pray. Lord, you are good. You work for our good.
And you call us to wisdom. You call us to be people that make wise decisions. Our decisions affect not just us, but others. And we need your wisdom. We need your correction. We need your correction.
We need your power so that we might in our repentance grow. Lord, I ask that you would absolutely go to work on our hearts. Make us a people that is wise. In Jesus' name, amen.
Wisdom and Work (Proverbs 24:30-34)
Use this guide to help your group discussion as you meet this week.
Transcript
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And our college was not cheap. And they knew it all year long.
That if they did not pass, they were going to have about a $135,000 tuition bill that you cannot retroactively go back and get scholarships for. And they didn't pass. And they did not get commissioned. And they had a large amount of student loans that they were going to have to pay for. And I remember him talking. He's like, I'm in the military and I have moms calling me about their kids.
He's like, what is happening? But they knew it. They knew it was coming all year. They knew the consequences. They didn't pass a basic PT test. But they rejected their responsibility.
They conceded. This drift towards chaos was coming. And they just conceded. They didn't take it seriously. They didn't own the responsibility in this. The Proverbs speak fairly aggressively against this type of conceding to chaos.
This type of neglecting your work and your responsibility. It has quite a bit of correction for those who do not take work seriously. And my hope this morning is that as we walk through this, I don't know if you've noticed this. At times, the Proverbs assaults you. It's a lot. And this is one of those mornings that it will assault you.
My hope is that we would not be so prideful. That we would not hear the word of God. See the correction that we need in response. That's the hope every morning as we sit under the authority of this word. And I hope indeed that is our posture this morning. Let me pray for us and then we'll jump into the text.
Father, we thank you that you've given us work. I pray that you'd help us see this morning that we would glean from the Proverbs. And the wisdom that it provides. So that we could be complete workers who glorify you. We ask this in Jesus' name. Amen.
Amen. Alright, so. A few years back, we did a series called The Hammer and the Hammock. It was just a quick series discussing work and rest. We had more time and more space to cover both of those subjects. So if you were not here, if you want to go back and listen to it, I would encourage you to go on our website to our sermons page and go back and listen to it.
We had a lot more space there to cover this subject. But I want to briefly give a theology of work to kind of help us, orient us to understand this well. So we are made in the image of a God who works. God worked to bring about creation. He made everything out of nothing from the universe and the stars all the way down to the deepest depths of the ocean. He made everything.
For six days, He worked and then He rested. Modeling a pattern of a rhythm of creation. And we're made in His image. That He formed man from the dust of the earth. Breathed life into it. And placed His image in us.
One of the ways we reflect the image of God is that we get to be workers who glorify God. Work is a pre-fall reality, which means that it happened before the fall. I know some of you might hate your job and think it is cursed. It can be for different reasons. Work is difficult, but it is actually a gift. That when He puts Adam in the garden and tells him to cultivate and take care of the garden, He is getting to participate in something that is different than any other aspect of creation.
He gets to reflect God who worked and brought about creation. It's a gift that He's given us. That we get to work in this garden, in this world that He has given us. He's given us dominion over. Now we know how the story goes.
That Adam and Eve sinned against God. And then one of the curses that gets handed down is work. That you could work in the field by the sweat of your brow, but you would only produce thorns and thistles. That is a curse that is work is going to be difficult. It is going to be hard. You may work very hard and it may be fruitless.
But we can't miss that work is something that was before the fall. That it's a good gift that God has given us. That we get to be made. We get to conform to the image of our God and to the image of Christ. And how we labor as we labor unto the Lord. Now, like I said, we spent a whole series on that.
I would encourage you to go back and listen to it. You need to know that going into it. Because the Proverbs does not want to give you a comprehensive view of work. It is not going to give us a comprehensive theology of work. What it mostly does is it gives us a pretty strong rebuke of our lack of work. And it has some language that shows up over and over again.
One of the characters that shows up throughout the Proverbs is the sluggard. The sluggard. Shows up over and over and over again. And one of the ways that the sluggard rejects his calling to work is in sloth. Slothfulness. We are going to see that language show up over and over again.
Proverbs 24 verses 30 through 31. You can find it in your Bible. You can also follow along on the screen. Verse 31. Verse 30. I passed by the field of a sluggard, by the vineyard of a man lacking sense.
And behold, it was all overgrown with thorns. The ground was covered with nettles, and its stone wall was broken down. That's it. That's the connection right there. Right back to the beginning. That the sluggard has a field.
And he neglects the field. He concedes to the chaos. He doesn't own his calling. And it becomes covered with thorns. It is a rejection. The sluggard rejects the calling of work.
And that is what we're going to see today. As we walk through a bunch of different Proverbs, we're going to see eight different ways that the sluggard concedes to the chaos. That he just neglects his calling, neglects his work, and does not own who he is supposed to be. So, we're going to walk through these section by section, starting with this first way that the sluggard concedes to chaos. First, this is the most obvious. The sluggard is lazy.
That's pretty basic. When you think of sluggard, when you think of slothfulness, that's the first word that usually comes to mind. It's lazy. Proverbs 26, 15. It says, the sluggard buries his hand in the dish. It wears him out to bring it back to his mouth.
He has a meal set out before him. It's his fork. And it just says, I can't. It's too much. A few nights ago, I was in my bed, and I was on my phone. I think I was looking through Prime deals.
And I found something. And I said, I'm going to buy it. And I went to click to buy it. And it said, you need to re-input your credit card information. And I paused. I said, do I really need this?
Do I really need to buy this? Not out of like a godly contentment, where it's like, do I actually need to buy this? No, my credit card was 20 steps away. And I didn't want to get up out of bed and go and get my credit card and put the Numbers in. I was like, do I really need this? And I thought about it.
I was like, no. I'm preaching a sermon on this coming up. I need to actually go up and get my credit card and put this in. Like, it's just like, oh, there's just this laziness that's so inherent to our fallenness. They were just, ah, it's too much. Jeff Bezos, the CEO of Amazon, he knows this.
He's built, I mean, there's been interviews where he's said this. He understands that people are generally lazy. The whole platform and shopping platform is built on the premise that you are lazy. He wants to make it as effortless as possible. It's true. The sluggard is lazy.
That's one way we can see to the chaos. The second is the sluggard loves the bed. The sluggard loves the bed. Proverbs 26, 14. As a door turns on its hinges, so does a sluggard on his bed. Yep.
There's a bunch of, there's a few different Proverbs that talk about the bed. When I was in seminary, my preaching professor, which I didn't learn a lot about preaching from. I did learn a lot about life. And it's a lot of nuggets of wisdom. But one day he looked at us and he said, y'all want to be successful pastors?
And me as a young seminarian said, yes, same awards. And he kind of reeled the class in. He said, you. And he put his finger out. You need to hate the bed. And I was like, we thought something else was coming.
But that was where he wanted to go that morning. You need to hate the bed. And then he just went off. He's like, you need to wake up in the morning. You need to pray. You need to read your Bible.
You need to be productive. Some people just sleep in. You need to hate the bed. I was like, all right, Dr. Smith. You getting it?
All right. Fine. And I've lived by that. Like since then, I'm like, no, I need to not love the bed. Like that's an actual proverb that has a lot of wisdom. Sleeping is fine.
It is. Sleeping is fine. There are days that you should sleep in. And then you can go to our Hammer and Hammock series. We spend a whole thing on rest. Yeah.
But there's something. There's too much rest that happens. There's too much sleeping that happens. Some of you love your beds. And I get it. Because I love my bed.
It's a great bed. But there comes a point where it becomes an agent of chaos. Where it's a place that you end up laying in too long. You toss and you turn. And you turn on a hinge again. And you snooze and you snooze and you snooze and you snooze.
No, we're called to be disciplined in life. You should know how much sleep you need. That's something that you should know. Like in my 20s, I finally figured out. I need about six to seven hours of sleep. That's the zone that I need to sit in.
If I want to be productive the next day, that's about how much sleep I eat. Now, some of you are psychos. And you need like three hours of sleep. And I don't understand you. Some of you need a little more. The older you get, that's a reality as well.
But there is a point where you need to understand how much sleep you need to be productive. If you continue to sleep in. If you stay up until 2 a.m. watching Netflix or 2 a.m. playing video games. And then you sleep in the next day until 10, 11 o'clock consistently. You're rejecting your calling. You're rejecting.
The time is a finite resource. It is. And if you sleep and sleep and sleep, the Bible says you are foolish. The sluggard loves the bed. Three. A sluggard doesn't start things.
Doesn't start things. Proverbs 14, 23 says, In all toil there is profit, but mere talk tends only to poverty. There's no mere profit in talking and talking and talking and not doing a thing. I remember when years ago, I'm from Lexington. The downtown Lexington area years ago was just lacking. It was not a desirable place to be.
And people talked and talked and said, you know what? This could be really nice. This could be a nice place with restaurants. And it could be pretty. Like someone should do something. There was a lot of talk and a lot of talk.
And no one was actually doing anything until finally some people got together. They started a festival to raise money for beautification for it. Restaurants came in. People risked their money, put their money on the line, put businesses and restaurants. And if you go to downtown Lexington today, it is really nice. It's got nice restaurants.
They're doing all kinds of cool stuff there. But people talked and talked and talked. It took people actually taking action and doing something. You've got to open yourself up to do something instead of just talking. And it's hard. You open yourself up to failure.
It's a lot harder to build something, to start at zero. But we're not called to just talk and talk and talk. You need to do something. Maybe there's hobbies you want to do, right? Like at the beginning of the year, I said I want to learn to play piano. My goal is by the time I'm 40, I want to be proficient at playing piano.
I don't want to be great because I've tried enough instruments to know that I'll never be great. But just proficient. And, I mean, Matt and I have been writing songs the last few years. It's like I want to grow in this. I want to learn this. So I got this piano, this keyboard, and it's been a busy year.
And I have not made the time for it. And I say this over and over again when I preach. It's not that you don't have time for something. It's that you won't make time for something. You won't make time for it. If I told you in a busy work season that the bank was going to offer you a million dollars, you would make time for that.
You would get in your car and you'd go down there and you'd collect your money. If you value something enough, you will make time for it. You can talk and talk and talk instead of doing something. You want to learn a language? Start. Download an app.
If you want to grow in woodworking, whatever it is for you, don't just talk and talk. Do something. Try something. There's no mere profit and talk. Four, the sluggard has unfounded fear. The sluggard has unfounded fear.
Proverbs 22, 13 says, The sluggard says, There is a lion outside. I shall be killed in the streets. The commentators agree on this, that yes, there were lions at that time. They were not in the streets. They're in the wilderness. They're not in the streets.
So it's a ridiculous thing. That's what's being said here. I can't go out to work. There's a lion in the streets. It's a ridiculous thing. It's an unfounded fear.
The reality is that many of us have unfounded fears that prevent us from the good work that God has called us to. One of the ways that I have unfounded fears that shows up over and over again is that I play out scenarios to ridiculous conclusions. So my wife, she'll be teaching dance one night, and it's later than normal, and all of a sudden I'm like, God, she's not here. I'll look at a couple of locations, and she's still at work, but maybe she's not still at work. Maybe somebody kidnapped her. Oh my goodness, maybe she's dead.
What's going to happen? What's going to happen to our family? What's going to happen to our kids? And I play out this ridiculous scenario, and it's like, let's pause and say, No, this is dumb. She's just teaching. I believe in the sovereignty of God.
Stop worrying. We do this. Some of you know what I'm talking about. Others of you are like, I have no idea what you're talking about. You don't think enough then. I don't know.
But we do this. You'll play out this scenario in your head. Maybe you're like, I want to start a business, but if I start this, then what if it doesn't work out? What if I don't make enough money? What if we end up losing our house? What if we end up homeless?
What if we have to fight for ourselves in the street? I've seen The Walking Dead. I don't know how. I'm not going to be able to do it. And it's just like, Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop.
That's unfounded. Sure, there are concerns. Absolutely. Valid concern. Valid concern. Paying your mortgage.
Valid concern. Taking care of your family. But we believe in the sovereignty of God. We believe Matthew 6. That He provides for the birds. How much more so does He care for you?
He will take care of your needs. Maybe not all your wants, but He will take care of your needs. If God is calling you to take a step, to take a risk, don't let unfounded fears keep you from doing this. Fear, it's oftentimes it's fear of failure, right? That's what keeps us from starting good work. Fear of failure.
And I'm here to tell you that fear is a sluggard man's game. We're called to walk in faith. So what if the business does not succeed? If you are obedient to your calling, that is what's important. Maybe you want to be more missional in your neighborhood. You're thinking, I want to throw a block party.
Get my neighbors to come out. Invite the whole street over for dinner. You're like, I don't know, maybe they won't come. Maybe if they do come, they'll think it's weird. Maybe they'll think we're lame. Maybe they'll think we're bad guests.
And when they walk by our house, every time they're going to think, oh, these are the weird Christians. It's like, no. Be obedient to what God is calling you to. Do something. So what if it doesn't work out?
So what if you share the gospel with somebody and it does not work out like you want it to? You are obedient. That is the goal here. To not let unfounded fears keep us from the good works that God has set out before us. 5, the sluggard doesn't finish what he starts. Slugger doesn't finish what he starts.
Proverbs 12, 27, whoever is slothful will not roast his game, but the diligent man will get precious wealth. So the picture here is that he goes out, he stakes out the best spot, he watches it, and then when the sunrise happens, the deer walks out. Gets his sights on him, shoots it. It's beautiful. Takes it to the processor. Gets nice cuts of backstrap and tenderloin.
I'm excited about deer season's coming up. And then he puts it in the freezer. And then when it comes to prepare it, he says, no. No, that's too much. That's the picture here. Is that you would not finish what you start.
That you would concede to the chaos by not finishing work. When I was working on this, and I finally looked at the commentaries on this, I felt assaulted. As I looked at my office, I moved into, I was in one office. I didn't like the aesthetics of that office, so I moved down to this end of the building, Dr. Ken's old office. Refinished the floors.
Took some of the wood that was from the demo over here. Finished it. Made shelves for my books. Isaac painted it. I mean, it was all set up. And for the last, I don't know, eight, nine, however long it's been, ten months, there's been my college diploma and a painting just sitting against my other desk.
Just not, just there. For like nine, ten months, it's just been sitting there. And it took me, and I repented this week, and I put them up finally. It took me five minutes. Didn't finish the work. And I've realized, oh no, like this is what I do.
I don't finish things that I start. Like, we bought a house a year ago. It was a complete renovation. And there are things that we've knocked out. And there's things that just didn't do, didn't finish. Like, we were having a disagreement.
My wife and I had to paint the inside of the door what color to do. So I painted around when I installed the new locks. I painted around it. And it just sat there. If you've been in my house and walked out of our front door, you've noticed, for a year, it's just been painted right around the doorknob. And there's like ten of those things in our house right now that I've just neglected.
I say, I'll get to it. I'll get to it. I'll get to it. Repented this week. Painted the door. Have other things I want to do in the house.
But I think of myself as having a strong work ethic. I do. I put in a lot of work. I put in a lot of hours. There's some days I wake up early. I go work out.
Come into the office early. I'm here until 5.30. Go home. Sometimes I make dinner. I put the kids to bed. Do my devotion with them.
Get up my computer. Sometimes work until 10, 11 o'clock. Not always, but it happens sometimes. And I like to think of myself as having a strong work ethic. But the proverb says, no, you are incomplete.
It is foolishness that I might be focused enough to finish what you start. And I was like, man. I thought I was going to get out of this sermon without feeling a whole lot of conviction. Finish what you start. If you don't, you are conceding to the chaos. Six.
Six. Sluggard is restless and unproductive. I've got a couple of Proverbs on this. 13.4. The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied. The soul of the one who's working is richly supplied.
Proverbs 21, 25-26. The desire of the sluggard kills him for his hands refuse to labor all day long. He craves and craves but the righteous gives and does not hold back. I have this internal drive, this crave to do a lot of things. I dream. I'm like, I want to do this aspect of ministry with our church.
I want to shift here. I want to focus here. I want to do all these different things. This year I had all these goals and I'm moving all around. I have all these cravings and sometimes I get too far ahead of myself and you can crave and you can crave and you can crave and you won't actually put your hands to the plow and work. The Bible says, don't.
That craving, that desire will crush you. Do something. Work. Focus on something. Complete the task. Your endless craving.
You'll keep going and going. You'll make a hundred excuses why you can't jump into it. You'll get frustrated. I mean, how many of you crave and crave to see a different office culture at your place of work? How many of you crave to see changes happen? And you can crave and crave and desire and desire or you can actually start to bring about change by how you work, by how you lead.
You can do something. How many of you all are frustrated by your community group? Because you came up with a set of values that you wanted to do as a community group and you're like the only one that seems to care about this value and no one else is owning it and you crave and you crave and you crave. How about lead by example? How about be the change you want to see happen in your group? You can crave and it will crush you or you can do something.
You can work to bring about change. Seven. The sluggard makes excuses. Sluggard makes excuses. 1519. The way of a sluggard is like a hedge of thorns but the path of the upright is a level highway.
Now, that's a little more difficult to interpret but there seems to be a common consensus here. that the sluggard always seems to have a hedge of thorns in his path. He always seems to have something in his path but the righteous when he works diligently has a level pathway. It seems to be clear and what's being shown here is that the sluggard always seems to have excuses. There's always an excuse as to why work is hard. Always something that keeps them from doing good work. You're the kind of person that complains about your job all the time.
You're the kind of worker that complains about your co-workers that complains about your bosses. Has every single boss you've ever had been dumb? You're the only one that gets it. You're the only one that's a good worker. Everyone around you is stupid but you've got it figured out. Maybe.
It's also possible that you'll find a hedge of thorns wherever you can find one. You'll look and find all the problems and make tons of excuses as opposed to actually doing something and working hard to see change happen. Work is hard. Thorns and thistles. Yes. You're going to have difficulties.
You're going to have problems. You can make a thousand excuses as to why you can't work as you should work unto the Lord. You can't work in the calling and be a complete worker. You can complain a lot or you can clear the path make it better for you and everyone else around you. Last. Sluggard is content with poverty.
He's content with poverty. This one shows up over and over again. I'm just going to list three. Proverbs 19.15 Slothfulness casts into a deep sleep and an idle person will suffer hunger. Proverbs 24 The sluggard does not plow in the autumn. He will seek at harvest and have nothing.
Proverbs 24 33-34 A little sleep a little slumber a little folding of hands to rest and poverty will come upon you like a robber and want like an armed man. Now there are a lot more Proverbs that say that same thing. Now what happens is and I want the Proverbs to hear me clearly the Proverbs is not saying all poor people are sluggards. All poor people are lazy. That's not what the Proverbs is arguing. I know that there are those that have means that will use that as an excuse and say everyone who's homeless is lazy.
Everyone who's poor needs to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and not recognize that there are complexities in poverty there are systems of decay that make it difficult for people to rise. The Bible says over and over again from the Old Testament law into the Proverbs into the New Testament and the teachings of Jesus that you should care about the plight of the poor you should care about the complexities of the poor you should care and want to uplift those you should not be the person who treads upon them but it also speaks very bluntly here if you are not willing to work and you are in poverty that's on you. It's not very politically correct in how Proverbs approaches it over and over again. If you're unwilling to work a little sleep a little slumber poverty will come upon you like a robber.
It says this over and over and over again. You may have been dealt a bad hand it may be difficult for you to work for various reasons I'm not denying that but in the end it's on you to control what you can control to work hard diligently so that you can bring about change so that you can pay your bills. Listen I know there's some of us that live paycheck to paycheck in our church and there's nothing wrong with that. It's an exercise of faith to trust the Lord to bring daily bread. There's nothing wrong with that but some of you are mad about it. Some of you are frustrated and mad and angry and bitter and shake your fist at the system.
I'm here to say let me ask do you truly work hard enough? Are you putting in the extra hours? Do you have a side hustle? Do you invest well? Have you thought about any of this or are you simply going to complain over and over again and just give eye service at work clock in clock out and not ever care about being a diligent worker? The Proverbs addresses this fairly aggressively.
My hope is that we would not be so prideful to not respond in all of these. My hope is that we would listen to this. I understand that these are abrasive to say the least. I understand that these can absolutely jolt you and that some of you may want to fight this. You may hear these Proverbs and say uh-uh, I disagree. Uh-uh, you know you're reading that wrong.
Uh-uh. And the Proverbs even has a word for you on that. Proverbs 26.16 says the sluggard is wiser in his own eyes than seven men who can answer sensibly. So basically the Proverbs says of course you would. Of course you would fight this. That is what a sluggard would do.
It's even more abrasive. Now it is fairly corrective in bad work in bad work ethic in bad work habits and bad approaches to work. There are only a few places where it speaks a little more uh-uh constructively where it gives more positive this is what you should do. And I just want to point out one. Proverbs 6. Go verse 6.
Go to the ant oh sluggard. Consider her ways and be wise. So the positive example the Proverbs is going to uphold is the ant. It's a part of creation. It's the antidote to bad work. I'll take it.
Go to the ant. I had a buddy in college who used to say this to his friends. He used to say go to the ant. Go to the ant oh sluggard. See the example verse 7. Without having any chief officer or ruler she prepares her bread in summer and gathers her food in harvest.
So study the ant. Study her ways. That she doesn't have anyone that's telling her what to do. Look at ants. They leave the colony. They go out.
They collect leaves. They collect all kinds of things. I know this because I've seen a bug's life. They collect what they need and they come back and there's nobody standing around them saying do this and do that. There's something intrinsic within them that says no this is what I'm supposed to do. They live in part of a bigger reality.
It's bigger than them. It's bigger than the individual I am. It's bigger and when we look at this for ourselves and we think about this in light of the gospel the reality is that we live as those who are made in the image of God as those who are called to work. We live in a bigger reality. It's not just work. It's something bigger.
And if you think about this as a different way of looking at this is go to the king O sluggard to see his example that we live a part of a bigger reality. We're made in the image of a bigger God who works on our behalf. It starts to make more sense when we think about how we're made in the image of our God who works on our behalf. Where would we be if God had not worked on our behalf? Where would we be if God had not created this world? Created the universe?
Where would we be if he had not scooped us up from the dust and placed his image into us? Where would we be if we sinned against God in our rebellion? If he crushed us? Where would we be if he had not come? If he had not taken on human flesh, if he had not lived a perfect life of obedience, if he had not gone to the cross to die for our sluggard, selfish ways, where would we be if he had not risen out of the tomb? Where would we be if God had not worked on our behalf?
Praise Jesus, he is not lazy. Praise God that God is not a sluggard. Praise God he is not slothful and apathetic towards us. No, we live in part of a bigger reality. We are made in the image of God who works and is continuing to work and continues to work on our behalf. My hope this morning is that as we look at the ways in which we need to repent, that we would quickly turn towards the one who worked on our behalf.
We would quickly turn towards Christ and in our repentance we would receive grace and we would worship and praise the one who worked for us. The band is going to come up. I know sometimes when I say the band is going to come up, some of you like to check out. I assume that. I don't know that for a fact because I've done in the past. As you sit and prepare for worship, I just want you to think about the ways we need to repent, the ways we need to change from our way.
Some of you have a room in your house that has remained unpainted for a year and you've neglected it and you've neglected it and you've neglected it. You need to complete the work. some of you have very bad sleeping routines and that's not okay. Let's walk through the Proverbs and it's offering wisdom and correction. If we hear it and we are not doers of the word but hear it's only, it's foolishness, it's disobedience. If you have a poor sleeping routine, you need to evaluate that, you need to know yourself, you need to change. Some of you need to stop talking about things and do something.
Pick up a shovel and work. Some of you need to do the daily things that are formative and good for our soul. You need to do the dishes, you need to mow the lawn, you need to help your wife change the diapers, you need to do the formative everyday work. Some of you need to take a risk that you have unfounded fears that have kept you from being obedient to what God has called you to. You need to start that business. You need to respond to the calling of ministry.
You need to go to the mission field. You don't need to let unfounded baseless fears keep you from obedience to what God has called you to. Some of you need to stop complaining about work and making excuses. There will always be a hedge of thorns. Or you can work hard to bring about change and see that happen. Some of you need to get a job.
You need to get a job. some of you need to get to get some of you need good work. You need something to do. It's formative. It's good for your soul. Some of you need to take on some more work. You're doing the bare minimum.
And you could be doing more that is good for you and for the betterment of those around you. Some of you who are older. I'll talk to Dr. Ken about this this morning. And he gave some good wisdom on this. The reality is that as you get older of course you're going to sleep.
As you get older that is a reality. But he said Henry Ford once said anyone who stops learning is old whether at 20 or 80. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. And it's a principle. It's absolutely true. You know the people that work and work and work and work and retire and then just do nothing in three years.
They just dissolve. There's a reason why people as they age into their nineties are still active and doing things and engaging their mind. Don't waste the latter years of your life by doing nothing. No, work. Learn. Grow to know more of Christ.
You're still a missionary. There's still people that need the gospel around. You still have neighbors. You still can serve. No, we need to continue to strive and to grow and to learn and to conform to the image of Christ and being complete workers. in our repentance may we turn towards the cross. I'm thankful we have a God who works on our behalf that His grace covers our failures and in our repentance we get to be the complete workers of God that God has called us to be.
Let me pray. Lord, we thank you that your words are difficult, that they are sharp, that they pierce our hearts. I pray this morning that we would not fight you, that we would yield, that you would go to work in our hearts, that we would not concede to the chaos of this world, the decay of this world, that we would actively in our repentance fight for what is good, that we would strive to be those who do not waste their lives but work in a way that brings you glory and betters those around us. Lord, we love you. May you help us we seek to repent. In Jesus' name, amen.
Wisdom and Manhood (Proverbs 2:1-22, 23:19-28)
Use this guide to help your group discussion as you meet this week.
Transcript
Thank you. Thank you. That's a big moment. I think I might just retire after this. It'd be like a walk-off home run and be done. We've always just been studying through books of the Bible.
We're working through certain kind of series. And we just say, Happy Father's Day. And then we jump right into where we are. And as we went into Proverbs, we thought, we actually can this summer, as we walk through this, talk about motherhood and womanhood on Mother's Day and fatherhood and manhood on... I may have said this wrong, but on Father's Day. And so we're excited to get to do that this morning.
We want good men. We need good men. The world needs good men. We need men like the Proverbs talk about. We need men around us that are wise and righteous. That care about justice.
That control their anger. That control their words. That say no to sin. That work hard. That are generous. That stand up for the weak.
We need that kind of men. The reality is much of your life, much of the goodness of your life, has risen and fallen with the quality of men that were around you. The presence of good men or the absence of good men or the presence of bad men have much affected you. And so our hope is that we would be good men and that we would have good fathers who raise up good sons. And that's some of what we're going to look at today. Much of the Proverbs is written in that framework of a father talking to a son.
Twenty-five times in the book of Proverbs, it has 31 chapters, but 25 times it says, My son, my son. Now there are a couple that are in specifically in the context of a father talking. There are two other times that it's a mother talking. And we've looked at some of that already. But this is a major theme that runs throughout the book of the Proverbs that fathers would raise up sons.
So we want to look at that today as we look at what are fathers supposed to do and how do we raise up good men. Now, personally, for all of us, it's a bit of a mess. I know that we're all over the place when it comes to what our dads were like or our desire to be a dad or what our husbands like as a dad. And there's a lot of maybe joy when you think about your father or maybe fear and frustration, anger and sadness. I know we're all over the place. My granddad, when he was a boy, he was getting a haircut at a barbershop and a man came by the front of the barbershop and stopped and turned and looked in the window and just sat kind of looking in at what was going on.
My granddad noticed him, but, you know, this guy was just watching him get a haircut. He didn't think much about it. And the man walked off and the barber said, Hey, boy, you know who that was? My granddad said, No, sir. He said, That was your daddy. So my granddad hopped out of the chair with half-cut hair and a little, you know, barber robe on and stood at the window and watched his daddy walk down the street.
And that was the only interaction he ever had with his dad. Now, he had a stepfather, who I've always known as Papa Holloman, who was a good man. Worked hard, raised him, cared about him. But our lives are affected by the men around us and who they decide to be and what they decide to do and what they decide to care about. And so as a church, as people who belong to Jesus, we want good men to raise up more good men. We want to encourage that.
So, ladies in the room today, less of this will apply to you. And that's fine. Enjoy the morning. Sip your coffee. Don't aggressively take notes and highlight things and show it to the man next to you. Don't elbow.
Don't plan your follow-up sermon for the ride home. We have a Holy Spirit. He does a wonderful job. So, as best you can, let's study the Word together. Now, we understand that we're all over the place and so there's two ways that we're going to approach this this morning. One is very practically.
The Proverbs are a very practical book. One of the things I have benefited from in being a part of this church family is how many other dads there are and how many other children there are. And so, a lot of times, when dads are interacting with their children, I watch them. And I know I probably have a super judgmental look on my face, but that's just what my face looks like. That's my learning face. So you're interacting with your kids, I might be just staring you down like, but I'm learning.
I'm trying to see what you do. I've learned some things from some of the other fathers around here. I've watched how they interact with their children and I've thought, that was good. I'm going to do that. And so, we're going to do that with the Proverbs today. We're going to see how this father talks to his son and we're going to stand with our aggressive faces staring at it and going, okay, what do I need to learn from this?
How do I need to speak to my sons? What do I need to care about? We are also, in the midst of this, going to hear the voice of our heavenly father who far surpasses any earthly father there has ever been. And so, if you aren't a father or aren't going to be a father or even if you are a father, I want you to hear your father speaking to you from the Proverbs because there's going to be a tendency while this is going on to be going, yeah, I wish my dad had talked to me about that or I wish that had happened or that would have been nice. And it's like, yeah, it actually is nice because your father is talking to you about that.
He is coaching you up and he is far better than any father you could have ever had. And he meets us in the scriptures and he meets us in the person of Christ. And therefore, we can approach this growing in our love for him as a good father as well as growing in our understanding of how to be good fathers. That's our approach. That's what we're doing this morning. Let's pray and let's get to it.
God, we ask for your help. We ask for your grace. Lord, we pray that you would give us the courage to repent and to follow you. We pray that as we walk through this, wherever we come in in our notion of manhood, our notion of masculinity, our thoughts when it comes to fatherhood, that we would see you as a gloriously good father and leave with a greater love for you. In Jesus' name. Amen.
Chapter 2, verse 1. We're going to look at two passages. We're going to look at chapter 2 and we're going to look at chapter 23, which are two sections where it's that tone of father talking to son. Chapter 2, verse 1. My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding. Now, there's an assumption made in that immediate, those first two verses.
The father is assuming that his words contain wisdom and understanding. Fathers, this involves some work on the back end, like the front end. Before you have wisdom and understanding to pour out, you need to get some wisdom and understanding. You need to love your Bible. You need to get counsel from other wise men around you. You are not pre-born with wisdom.
Proverbs tell us you're born with foolishness. So if that's just what you've run with your whole life, that's all you can coach your children up with. And so you need to get your Bible, love your Bible, read your Bible, study your Bible. It dramatically affects your life if you will grow to love your Bible so that we might have wisdom and understanding so that when we speak we have something worth hearing. Verse 3, Yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.
I want to show you this if-then framework. He has a couple of ifs and then he has a then, but this is the first if and the other ones kind of fall under it. If you receive my words and treasure up my commandments, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. Fathers, is that true? If your children listen to you, follow what you say, will you lead them to Jesus? Will they grow in the fear of the Lord?
Will they grow in the knowledge of God by hearing the way you talk, by hearing what you care about, by you pushing them towards the things that matter? Can we say that with credibility? If my children will just listen to me, they will fall deeply, madly in love with Jesus. They will fear the Lord and surrender to Him. They will know how to obey Him and they will understand all that is good and wonderful about Him. This was written in the context to a group of people who understood the Old Testament law and they would have understood the Shema, which was a main command given to them in the law in Deuteronomy chapter 6 and it's this, Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and with all your might. And these words I commanded you today shall be on your heart. So the first command that's given in the Shema is that you love the Lord. So fathers, do you love the Lord? Because if you don't love the Lord, how are you going to bring your children to Him? If you're not obeying Him, if you're not walking in the fear of the Lord, how is this going to play out?
But then it says this, verse 7, You shall teach them diligently to your children. Shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise. Meaning that you should be so in love with the Lord that it just pours out of you. Sitting down to dinner, it's as likely as not that you'll be talking about Jesus. Walking, going to work, getting your chores done, you're going to be talking about Jesus. You're going to be explaining how the world works.
You're going to be pouring forth the knowledge of the Lord. You're going to be explaining to them what it looks like to obey and to follow and to fear the Lord. It says, You shall bind them as a sign on your hand. They shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. Fathers, do we know wisdom and do we know the Lord so that we might actually lead our children to the Lord?
That's step one. The best way to begin that is for you to love your Bible so that in it you might meet Christ, you might know Him, you might grow in wisdom, to join a community group, to be committed to following Jesus with other men and women who are following Jesus, to have people in your life who know you and can call you towards better things. That's the first if. If you listen to me, the next one's buried in that. It's kind of under that, but it says this, it's verse 3 and 4. If you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as hidden treasures.
I love that verse because this father here is telling his son, you want to know something you need to get a little amped up about? You want to know something you want to need to raise your voice about? Like I remember times where my dad would get me and say, boy, you better bow up. I remember I was playing Little League catcher. He had to grab me one time after a game and he was talking to me and he said, that home plate is yours. It belongs to you.
No one touches that. And then he practiced pushing me in my garage so that I would learn how to end. But he would say, these are things, there were certain things that he would say you need to care about. And he says, you need to raise your voice. That men would be like, hey, I need some of that right now. And somebody would come over to you and say, what are you talking about?
And you'd be like, wisdom. I need it. I will not be denied. That's what he's saying, that you would have some energy about this. You would have some, take some courage. It takes some effort.
He says, you would seek it like silver or search for it as for hidden treasures. You know who hunts for hidden treasures? Adventurers, explorers, pirates, cowboys, archaeologists. But like the Indiana Jones kind. That this would take some energy and some effort. I love that what the father here is saying is that if you want to seek your own desire, if you want to be lazy, if you want to just go with your gut, if you want to just wing it, just understand any fool can do that.
That's why every fool does. But if you want something worth living a life for, if you want something worth giving a life to, if you want something worth handing on, and if you want to be the type of man that's worth being around, it's going to take some energy from you. It's going to take waking up a little bit earlier than the other people in your house. It's going to take going to bed a little bit later than the other people in your house. It's going to take opening a Bible and reading it and memorizing it and learning it. It's going to take a little bit of energy and effort and adrenaline and aggression and testosterone from you to call out for this.
That's what he's saying. And I appreciate that. And he keeps going on. Verses 6 to the end of the chapter, he says, if you do this, the Lord will grant this to you. He'll give you wisdom. He'll give you insight.
He'll coach you up. He'll train you. It'll help you turn away from sin. You'll be the type of person who knows what is right and good and just and equitable. And you'll be the type of person who says no to wickedness and you will not become a wicked man if you'll pursue this. And that's what we need.
Godly fathers who know Jesus, who walk in wisdom and help raise up godly sons to say no to sin and yes to Jesus and put forth the energy that that takes. Shame on the American church that it's 60% female and 40% male. Shame on us that every time we want to try to do something in the American church, you have a thousand female hands that raise that they're ready to come serve, they're ready to come work, they're ready to come labor and it's hard to find men. I have in general been very proud of our church family, of the females who love Jesus and who serve and the fact that we do have men that want to fight and to serve but we need more.
We need more good men and so may we be good men who raise good men and I want you to hear everybody, I want you to hear the voice of our heavenly father who is inviting you into this. That if you'll call out for wisdom, you'll get it. He'll teach you. He'll know you. You'll know him. It'll be good.
He'll keep you from sin. He'll bring you into righteousness. This is an invitation for all of us here. May we take it. I like to think sometimes, go ahead and jump to chapter 23. I like to think sometimes, I'll watch movies, aggressive movies, I'll watch like, my wife and I watched Braveheart recently.
I watched Braveheart and I think, I could do that. I could get a shield and an axe and run into a field and try to kill as many people as possible. I could do that. If I had to, I could get myself amped up to do that. That's not the fight the Lord has given me. I don't get to try to help free Scotland from the English.
But he has given me a fight. He's invited the church into a spiritual war. an eternal fight. He's given me two sons. He's given me a wife. He's given me a church family. He's given people in my community group.
That it's worth the energy and the effort and the labor it takes to know Jesus, to submit to Jesus, to know His word, to obey Him, and to walk in faithfulness. Every once in a while I'll talk to men and I'll say, what else do you have more worth fighting for than your wife and children? What else do you have more worth fighting for than the people in your community group? What else do you have more worth fighting for than the lost and dying souls around here that are going to spend an eternity in hell? Don't sit and tell yourself that if you were in some other time you would have taken up the mantle if you're not taking up the one that's laid down for you right now.
There's a call towards some energy and some effort that we ought to accept because we have valuable things worth the energy and the effort all around us. Chapter 23. We're going to pick up in verse 19, but this section starts in the back in chapter 22 and in it the father is just telling his son a bunch of stuff. It's this random he talks about all kinds of things and we see that throughout the Proverbs. The father's just talking all the time about this is how you should think about work and this is how you should think about money and this is how like it's all this life coaching and that's good and I honestly think a lot of fathers get really excited about that.
And this is how like it's all this life coaching and that's good and I honestly think a lot of fathers get really excited about that. Whenever there's something that your dad knows and knows how to do how geeked out is he to tell you how to do it? I don't care what it is. Woodworking, coding, painting, changing attire, like wherever you see a competent man you will see
An excited man just so you know. Men don't like participating in things they're not real competent in. They do appreciate the challenge and learning but if you ever see something where it's like oh this I can do I'm ready you'll watch those men walk right up like oh you need help with that whatever like you know can I get in on that? This is where people talk about men all the time
Mansplaining or whatever but it's just they're really excited they know a thing actually they just appreciate being competent that's what's happening throughout this the father's just consistently coaching up on all the things that he's competent on that's why it's helpful for us to become competent men so that we can be helpful in life not pedantic and annoying with it but helpful but verse 19 in chapter 23
As he's coming through this he says this hear my son and be wise direct your heart in the way and again I just want to highlight for you that fathers are meant to not just hand out practical wisdom but also be the ones leading in let's follow Jesus together to direct your heart in the way that I care about your heart and I care that it belongs to Jesus and let's walk in righteousness
Let's walk in faithfulness let's walk in the way of following the Lord so yes coach up on all the things you know but don't think that's your job and if you're married well it's my wife's Job to try to tell him about Jesus now this is the thing that he does that he calls him into verse 20 be not among drunkards or among gluttonous eaters of meat
For the drunkard and the glutton will come to poverty and slumber will clothe them with rags I think it's helpful just as we're looking at this and seeing what he does here he tells him why he doesn't just say don't do this he says don't do this because and he does that throughout the Proverbs but he has some wisdom to share where that heads meat and alcohol sound nice and he says
Yeah but too much of it let me tell you where that takes you let me show you where that ends up let me show you what that brings on you let me show you what that causes and this is one of the places he's real practical throughout the rest of the Proverbs he's practical and there are times where he's theological where he talks about he holds it up against righteousness and shield he says this leads you to hell so I would say both
Fathers when you're coaching your kids up explain why take the time to do that and explain theologically why not just practically why now I know some of you have little kids and I'm not saying that sometimes little kids kids in general your children want you to explain to them why so that they can agree with you and it's actually not
That's not what I'm talking about you can explain to them why but you don't have to win them over you're their parents so sometimes you can just say I've explained why now do it that's fine but do explain why it's helpful verse 22 listen to your father who gave you life and do not despise your mother when she is old compete for their attention he says listen to me pay attention to me
Look at me my sons and I reenact this this tension every time I'm trying to explain something to them and the TV is on because I'm talking to them and you can watch their little eyes drift and I know how hard that is I don't turn the TV off I make them control themselves I know how hard that is because I know there are times when my wife's talking to me and I'm going
I feel your pain but you've got to listen to me when I'm talking to you but there's some competition with the world for who are they going to listen to fathers be a voice in that fight for that which means a couple of things control the environment sometimes I know that depending on the age of your children or the attitude of your children there are a lot of times
Where you have something to do that is much easier if they aren't with you I have a three year old and a six year old we have for the past six years and we're just now on the edge of getting out of it but we've lived that little kid life where there's a kid that can't talk has diapers doesn't sleep
At night like we've lived that for six years my wife and I are talking are we going to have one more and make that nine years or are we going to move off into the joy of the promised land we've had that for six years I know when I go to the grocery store or to Home Depot or Lowe's
Without them I feel like a superhero I know why my dad spent so much time at places like that he was free but there are times where we need to say because we're competing with the world for their attention and for our ability to pour out wisdom to them as we walk in the way as we
Sit up as we rise get in the truck get in the car let's go come out here and help me I'm washing the vehicle you need to be here with me I'm changing the oil you need to be here with me we've got to run errands we're going
To go visit this person you need to be here with me because that's some of that shoulder to shoulder time some of that time that you need to spend with them and I understand there are times where involving them makes the thing take longer or be more difficult what else do you have to do with your time that wouldn't
Involve trying to help coach and train and love out for your children and the people around you and don't say well you know I need my alone time I'm kind of a loner well I'm sorry you have children you will never have alone time again you need to take them with you you need to coach them
Up and some of y'all in community groups need to be doing this as well you have some errands to run but you've got some people that you could invite to be around that you could walk in life together so that y'all might like iron sharpens iron you might sharpen one another and grow together in your love for Jesus and help not just be in
Your own little world but have people involved in life with you so that you might grow together second part of this verse that I also really appreciate he says listen to your father and do not despise your mother when she is old fathers make your house a good environment for your wife if you are divorced do not
Participate participate in your children and pouring into them bad thoughts about their mother teach your children to respect their mother demand that they respect their mother help them grow in respect for their mother because it's good for them to do that don't sit and say
Don't sit on the couch while your kids are acting up to your wife mistreating their mom and go you know they listen to me if you were better at this they'd listen to you get up off the couch and make them listen to their mama if you're so good
At it help them it's good for her it's good for them participate he says don't despise your mom and I just think that's helpful make it a good environment verse 23 buy truth and do not sell it by wisdom instruction and understanding I heard a guy say
That one of the reasons we give balloons to children is to teach them that there are some things worth holding on to and it also makes me feel better about every time one of my kids accidentally lets a balloon into the world I go see there's some things worth holding on to I'm not buying you another one you learned
A lesson here today but that's what he says he says buy truth and do not sell it we live in a world in a culture right now that does not like truth we live in a culture right now that's very confused about what is true we live in a culture
Right now that is letting everyone define their own truth we don't do that with stoplights we don't do that with seatbelts we don't do that with airplanes but we somehow want to let everybody do that in a bunch of other areas that matter a lot and let's be people
That care about truth who buy it and do not sell it who hold on to it even when the rest of the world has gone crazy and let's be people in our families that even when it is extremely difficult because our children have grown up and they have bought what the world is selling
And they want you to participate with them let's be some of the people that hold on to truth for dear life so that we might model for them that it really really really matters and without truth we lose so much and let's be people who grow in wisdom
So that we know what is and isn't true and let's be people who love our Bibles and know that it promises that one day everything will rise and fall everything will wither and fail but the word of the Lord is forever and so that
One day our culture will have changed its mind about things and cultures of the world have consistently changed their minds about things and one day we will stand in the kingdom of the Lord where all truth is alive and around us and we'll be standing in the continual word of the Lord that lasts
Forever verse 24 and 25 the father of the righteous will greatly rejoice he who fathers a wise son will be glad in him so just giving some general information verse 25 let your father and mother be glad let her who bore you rejoice I just appreciate
These verses the father here just said hey you know who's happy parents whose kids aren't morons wouldn't you like for your parents to be happy I just appreciate what he's saying here he's saying let's have some joy in this house and that involves
You not being foolish come let your mom be happy I feel like my dad said that to me before hey quit doing that you're upsetting your mama let your mama be happy that she didn't
Have a fool for a son verse 26 my son give me your heart let your eyes observe my way for a prostitute is a deep pit an adulteress is a narrow
Well she lies in wait like a robber and increases the traitors among mankind he goes on from here to talk about alcohol at some lengths and the use of alcohol and how it causes trouble in life fathers
Have have some awkward and uncomfortable conversations with your children because you care about them and you care that they say no to sin and yes to good things have some conversations where you say son sit down and talk
To you about prostitutes it's an awkward intro but there are things you need to talk about I remember one time my dad had just explained to me and my two brothers about reproduction and I was a bit
Skeptical I was like that doesn't sound right but I don't think that's how that works my older brother hit me said he knows what he's talking about he's done this three times very logical I was like I got a point there the reality is if you
Are not explaining these things from a biblical perspective of how the world works to your children the world is explaining it to them someone's telling them how to think about gender someone's telling
Them how to think about sex someone's telling them how to think about relationship someone's telling them you're like well my dad never did that I don't
Know how to do that yeah didn't you figure it out on your own and wasn't that a much more painful process? You're going to push the pain to your children? Are you going to take some of the awkwardness and some of the pain so that you might lead them in a better way? Don't put that off on them. Don't put that off on the world. Don't house that into American culture. Good Lord, help us. Learn and be able to communicate here and have some awkward conversations for the sake of your children and tell them to say no to sin and yes to Jesus. All you middle schoolers and high schoolers in here, you're welcome. You'll thank me later.
Verse 26. I don't want us to miss this. I think this is helpful. We'll finish out. We just read past it, but I want us to see it. He says, my son, give me your heart and let your eyes observe my ways. My son, give me your heart and let your eyes observe my ways. I think that we need with credibility to be able to say this, that fathers, we care about the heart of our children, that we are jealous for the heart of our children, which means that you can trust yourself with me. You can trust your deepest desires, that you can trust what you long for. You can trust who you feel like you are as a person with me. I care about you. Now, that does not mean that everything that they believe or desire is safe with you, but that they are. But I think sometimes the impression that children have gotten from their fathers is not that I care about your heart, but that I care about my time. I don't care about your heart. I care about my comfort. I don't care about your heart. I care about not being bothered. I don't care about your heart. I care about my job. And I think we need to be able to, with credibility, say to our children, give me your heart and mean it and it be in safe hands when they do. The encouraging thing is that I think by default, most children give their fathers their heart pretty early on. Some of you need to fight back to getting it back and to be credible in your saying that you want it and that it's good. And then he says this, let your eyes observe my ways.
You, there's a, there's a saying that apparently everyone originally said when you look it up online, but it's, you can teach what you know, but you replicate who you are. That's what he's saying. Watch me. All the things that I've said to you about saying no to sin, all the things I've said to you about raising your voice for wisdom and understanding, all the things that I've said to you about what you ought to care about and what you ought to fight for, all the things I've said to you about saying no to overeating and over drinking and chasing women, all the things that I've said to you, watch me. The reality is that your children are watching you just like you watched your parents. You know what they cared about. You know, when they told you that Jesus mattered the most, whether or not he actually did, you know, how they handled money. You know what they were stressed out about, you know, what actually got on their nerves, regardless of what they told you, you know, and your children know. And that's why he says, watch me that we ought to have credibility because the reality is we're replicating who we are in so many ways. And you know, this, as you've gotten older, there've been times where after a situation, you really should have turned to an invisible audience and taken a bow because you did a perfect rendition of your father from 40 years ago. This has been a reproduction of Kent Phillips from 1992. You know that.
And there've been times where that scared you. There've been times where that was wonderful. A situation happened and afterwards you were like, oh, wow, I handled it. I'm so glad I saw that modeled that way. There are other times where you're trying to do what the Bible says and you have no good model for that. You're out on, you have no clue. You're just winging it as best you can as you follow Jesus. May we be worth watching and worth modeling. This is discipleship. This is apprenticeship. And so he says, give me your heart and watch me. Now that call from verse 26 is the same thing that the Lord says to us. In some ways, that's the message of scripture. Give me your heart and watch my ways. Give me your heart, meaning that you are safe with the Lord, that what he primarily desires is you, not your works, not your effort, that you wouldn't bring him a beautiful resume.
He says, give me your heart. That's the first thing that it says, that we would follow him with all our heart. That that's what he wants from you, that he's trying to captivate your heart and steal your heart and keep your heart and that it's safe with you, that all of your deepest desires and longings, all of your greatest fears are safe with him. That you're safe with him. Now that some of the things that you care about aren't safe with him, but you are, and you're better off if he comes in and goes, oh, you love that. That's actually really bad for you. So we're going to get rid of that. But give me your heart. Let it belong to me that this is what he calls you that in the midst of your failures, in the midst of your anger, in the midst of your hatred, in the midst of your alienation, in the midst of your rebellion, in the midst of all the times that we have run from him or been frustrated with him or tried to guard ourselves from him.
And what he is saying is give your heart to me that you might belong to me and that I might bring you to the end. And then he says, watch me. There are some of us, because of the relationship we have with our father, the idea that God is a father gets all messed up. He feels distant or he feels angry. The best thing you can do is just behave well enough so that he doesn't, doesn't come in with that look on his face. If I can just stay out of his way, if I can just keep from annoying him. But you know that the scriptures tell us that Jesus is the image of the invisible God, that he looks at his disciples and says, if you know me, you know the father. If you've seen me, you've seen the father. That Christ comes to be the example of how God interacts with us, how God loves us, how God pursues us, how God dies for us, so that we might give him our heart. And so that in him we have hope and joy. So fathers, may we love Jesus and may we be able to look at our children and say, give me your heart and watch me and let's go. Because we've given Jesus our heart and we've watched him and we trust him with ourselves and we follow him in life. The band's going to come back up.
That's our hope this morning, that if you're in here, that you would give your heart to Jesus, that you would watch his ways, that you would know that he is good and that he is for your good, that he would die, that we might be saved from our sin, that he would take all of what is broken and wrong in us and that he would be the perfect example of what a man is supposed to be, that he is sacrificial and that he uses his strength for the good of others, that he did not come to have his own way, that he did not come to be the king of all things, that he came to suffer and to die and to take the lowest place so that the rest of us might be brought in. May we look at him and may we give him our hearts. And fathers, may we be so in love with Jesus that all of that just pours out of us and so that we can with credibility say, give me your heart and if you'll listen to me, I'll take you to the king. Lord, help us. Let's pray. God, may we be a people who love you and may we be a people that encourage faithful, godly men to raise up more faithful, godly men. May we celebrate that and enjoy that in the midst of a culture that's really confused about that. May we appreciate the distinctives of masculinity and the distinctives of femininity and celebrate your good design there.
And may we love Jesus, walk in wisdom and faithfulness. Thank you for your grace. In Jesus' name, amen. Amen.
You're going to push the pain to your children? Are you going to take some of the awkwardness and some of the pain so that you might lead them in a better way? Don't put that off on them. Don't put that off on the world. Don't house that into American culture. Good Lord, help us.
Learn and be able to communicate here and have some awkward conversations for the sake of your children and tell them to say no to sin and yes to Jesus. All you middle schoolers and high schoolers in here, you're welcome. You'll thank me later. Verse 26. I don't want us to miss this. I think this is helpful.
We'll finish out. We just read past it, but I want us to see it. He says, my son, give me your heart and let your eyes observe my ways. My son, give me your heart and let your eyes observe my ways. I think that we need with credibility to be able to say this, that fathers, we care about the heart of our children, that we are jealous for the heart of our children, which means that you can trust yourself with me. You can trust your deepest desires, that you can trust what you long for.
You can trust who you feel like you are as a person with me. I care about you. Now, that does not mean that everything that they believe or desire is safe with you, but that they are. But I think sometimes the impression that children have gotten from their fathers is not that I care about your heart, but that I care about my time. I don't care about your heart. I care about my comfort.
I don't care about your heart. I care about not being bothered. I don't care about your heart. I care about my job. And I think we need to be able to, with credibility, say to our children, give me your heart and mean it and it be in safe hands when they do. The encouraging thing is that I think by default, most children give their fathers their heart pretty early on.
Some of you need to fight back to getting it back and to be credible in your saying that you want it and that it's good. And then he says this, let your eyes observe my ways. You, there's a, there's a saying that apparently everyone originally said when you look it up online, but it's, you can teach what you know, but you replicate who you are. That's what he's saying. Watch me. All the things that I've said to you about saying no to sin, all the things I've said to you about raising your voice for wisdom and understanding, all the things that I've said to you about what you ought to care about and what you ought to fight for, all the things I've said to you about saying no to overeating and over drinking and chasing women, all the things that I've said to you, watch me.
The reality is that your children are watching you just like you watched your parents. You know what they cared about. You know, when they told you that Jesus mattered the most, whether or not he actually did, you know, how they handled money. You know what they were stressed out about, you know, what actually got on their nerves, regardless of what they told you, you know, and your children know. And that's why he says, watch me that we ought to have credibility because the reality is we're replicating who we are in so many ways. And you know, this, as you've gotten older, there've been times where after a situation, you really should have turned to an invisible audience and taken a bow because you did a perfect rendition of your father from 40 years ago.
This has been a reproduction of Kent Phillips from 1992. You know that. And there've been times where that scared you. There've been times where that was wonderful. A situation happened and afterwards you were like, oh, wow, I handled it. I'm so glad I saw that modeled that way.
There are other times where you're trying to do what the Bible says and you have no good model for that. You're out on, you have no clue. You're just winging it as best you can as you follow Jesus. May we be worth watching and worth modeling. This is discipleship. This is apprenticeship.
And so he says, give me your heart and watch me. Now that call from verse 26 is the same thing that the Lord says to us. In some ways, that's the message of scripture. Give me your heart and watch my ways. Give me your heart, meaning that you are safe with the Lord, that what he primarily desires is you, not your works, not your effort, that you wouldn't bring him a beautiful resume. He says, give me your heart.
That's the first thing that it says, that we would follow him with all our heart. That that's what he wants from you, that he's trying to captivate your heart and steal your heart and keep your heart and that it's safe with you, that all of your deepest desires and longings, all of your greatest fears are safe with him. That you're safe with him. Now that some of the things that you care about aren't safe with him, but you are, and you're better off if he comes in and goes, oh, you love that. That's actually really bad for you. So we're going to get rid of that.
But give me your heart. Let it belong to me that this is what he calls you that in the midst of your failures, in the midst of your anger, in the midst of your hatred, in the midst of your alienation, in the midst of your rebellion, in the midst of all the times that we have run from him or been frustrated with him or tried to guard ourselves from him. And what he is saying is give your heart to me that you might belong to me and that I might bring you to the end. And then he says, watch me. There are some of us, because of the relationship we have with our father, the idea that God is a father gets all messed up.
He feels distant or he feels angry. The best thing you can do is just behave well enough so that he doesn't, doesn't come in with that look on his face. If I can just stay out of his way, if I can just keep from annoying him. But you know that the scriptures tell us that Jesus is the image of the invisible God, that he looks at his disciples and says, if you know me, you know the father. If you've seen me, you've seen the father. That Christ comes to be the example of how God interacts with us, how God loves us, how God pursues us, how God dies for us, so that we might give him our heart.
And so that in him we have hope and joy. So fathers, may we love Jesus and may we be able to look at our children and say, give me your heart and watch me and let's go. Because we've given Jesus our heart and we've watched him and we trust him with ourselves and we follow him in life. The band's going to come back up. That's our hope this morning, that if you're in here, that you would give your heart to Jesus, that you would watch his ways, that you would know that he is good and that he is for your good, that he would die, that we might be saved from our sin, that he would take all of what is broken and wrong in us and that he would be the perfect example of what a man is supposed to be, that he is sacrificial and that he uses his strength for the good of others, that he did not come to have his own way, that he did not come to be the king of all things, that he came to suffer and to die and to take the lowest place so that the rest of us might be brought in.
May we look at him and may we give him our hearts. And fathers, may we be so in love with Jesus that all of that just pours out of us and so that we can with credibility say, give me your heart and if you'll listen to me, I'll take you to the king. Lord, help us. Let's pray. God, may we be a people who love you and may we be a people that encourage faithful, godly men to raise up more faithful, godly men. May we celebrate that and enjoy that in the midst of a culture that's really confused about that.
May we appreciate the distinctives of masculinity and the distinctives of femininity and celebrate your good design there. And may we love Jesus, walk in wisdom and faithfulness. Thank you for your grace. In Jesus' name, amen. Amen.
Wisdom and Wealth (pt. 2) (Proverbs 10:16)
Use this guide to help your group discussion as you meet this week.
Transcript
You Good morning, my name's Chet. I'm one of the pastors here. It's good to see y'all this morning. We are in the book of Proverbs. Grab your Bibles and go to Proverbs chapter 10. The primary thing we like to do is walk through books of the Bible.
We are working our way through Proverbs, but we're not going verse by verse, chapter by chapter. We are taking some of the primary things that the Proverbs gives weight to and trying to grow in wisdom. As we looked at money last week, we realized that the Proverbs says a lot about money, and so we wanted to spend one week looking at kind of the mental approach to money and some of the things we needed to understand before we handled money. And then today, hopefully we get to look at some practical principles that the Proverbs give us for handling money. So we have been sold on the idea that if I just had more money, things would be better.
Life would be better. Life would be easier. Everything would be nicer. I'd be handsomer. If I just had more money, it would enhance life. And the Proverbs says, not so fast.
That actually is not true, that you getting more money might actually be bad for you and for the world. And that's what we looked at last week. We looked at Proverbs 10, verse 16. It says, the wage of the righteous leads to life, the gain of the wicked to sin. Meaning that if the righteous get money, it's good. But if the wicked get money, it's bad.
And so we just said getting money and having money and being rich cannot just necessarily be a good thing. But the Proverbs tells us that we need more than just more money. And so we spent most of our time last week on the back half of that verse. The idea that getting more money could be bad for you. And so we talked about some of the ways that we approach money potentially sinfully. But we did say at the very beginning that money is just a tool because money in the hands of the righteous is a good thing.
So in some ways, money is just a tool. We said that it tests us last week. We said that it tempts us. But there is a reality to money is just a tool. And so to help us picture this, I want to talk to you all about a movie I watched. I've watched it a couple of times.
And in the beginning of the movie, there's a character that's introduced. And I want to show you all this person. This person shows up in the movie. When he shows up, us in the audience, we're not super excited that he's here. And we're pretty sure that the thing he's holding, which is some sort of a weird hammer axe thing, is bad. We would much rather he had like a bouquet of flowers or something.
But he doesn't. He shows up with this. And so this is a bad moment in the movie. But later in the movie, this character shows up. And when he shows up, we're all very excited. But he's also holding a weird hammer axe thing.
But I've been told that people who watch this movie in the theaters, that people actually cheered when this guy showed up. And so the reality is, it's not what they're holding, it's who's holding it. And that's what the Proverbs says about money. That money on its own isn't necessarily good or bad. Who has it? Do the wicked have it?
Do the righteous have it? Because the reality is, the righteous having money leads to life. And that's true. How many scholarships have been paid for? How many meals have been offered? How many people have been clothed?
How many orphans have been cared for? How many of you in your life have had somebody show up and help pay a hospital bill or a car payment or help you replace some tires or some shoes? When the righteous have money, it leads to life. And so the Proverbs has no problem whatsoever with the righteous having money. The truth is, we should give more money to the righteous. This is what the Proverbs says.
Okay, I'm getting excited. Let's pray first and then we'll go into other things the Proverbs says. Lord, we pray that you'd help us to grow in wisdom today. But more than that, may we grow in our understanding of wisdom so that we might grow in our understanding of you and therefore growing in loving wisdom and loving Jesus. May we not leave here more filled with ourselves, but may we leave here more filled with your spirit. And by your grace, we ask for your help in that.
And towards that end, in Jesus' name, amen. Proverbs 8, 17 through 21 says this. This is, wisdom is speaking here. So in the book of Proverbs, wisdom speaks. It's personified as a lady wisdom. And so she sometimes talks and that's, so this is wisdom talking.
It says, I love those who love me and those who seek me diligently find me. Riches and honor are with me, enduring wealth and righteousness. So it's not just that riches and honor are bad. It says, no, wisdom says I have riches and honor. They belong to me. And I, I grant these to people who seek me.
My fruit is better than gold, even fine gold in my yield than choice silver. So wisdom does say I have riches, I have enduring wealth, but wisdom is better than gold and better than silver. And this is some of what we've been looking at is the idea that if you have wisdom, if you have righteousness, then you can have money and it's okay. But if you don't have wisdom, you don't have righteousness, then money is bad. And so wisdom says I'm better than money, but I have money. I walk in the way of righteousness in the paths of justice, granting an inheritance to those who love me and filling their treasuries.
So that one of the blessings from wisdom, one of the blessings from God is wealth. It's not necessarily an evil thing. It can be very good. It just depends on who has it. Proverbs 10, 22, the blessing of the Lord makes rich and he adds no sorrow with it. So there's a reality to money in and of itself is not bad, but we need wisdom and righteousness before we get money.
And so today though, we're going to spend most of our time just looking really practically at some of the things the Proverbs has to say about money because it has a lot to say about money. So this is the Proverbs basic wisdom. And we're going to walk through this for money. Get a job. Maybe Proverbs specifically say an honest Job, but get a job, trust God, save some and live simply so you can be generous and use your wealth for the good of others. Get a job, trust God, save some and live simply so that you can be generous and use your wealth for the good of others.
That's what we're going to walk through. So first step, get a job. Get a job. Proverbs 14, 23, in all toil, there is profit, but mere talk tends only to poverty. Get a job. Not an idea about a job, not some things in the works, not a few irons in the fire.
Get a job. That's what Proverbs says. And it says it repeatedly. Proverbs 28, 19 and 20, whoever works his land will have plenty of bread. So they go out and they work.
There's just nothing glamorous about it. They're working, but they have plenty of bread. But he who follows worthless pursuits will have plenty of poverty. Proverbs got jokes. You can have plenty of bread or you can have plenty of poverty. It's up to you.
Are you working or not? A faithful man will abound in blessings, abound with blessings. But whoever hastens to be rich will not go unpunished. That's helpful for us because how much do we want to get rich quickly? I've recently heard that there are local moms who are making $3,000 a week from home. Haven't y'all seen these things?
How many people have told you that if you could just get into this, if we could just get in, you get into the right time. If you could just, I mean, we got cryptocurrency and we've got different stock market schemes. We've got these ideas for you could take on this and the side. And if you could just get this going, if you can get your downline going and if you can recruit three other people, it's like, now there, there's a way that some of that is just good work and people are trying to have extra jobs and work. And it's, there's a way for us to have side things going on that is us working our land.
But there's also a way that we are chasing worthless pursuits and trying to get rich quickly. And it says we won't go unpunished. That that has negative effects on us, that it harms us and that just working is good. So I want to tell you this, do not feel bad about having a job. There's some people who are like, I don't know, I just went and got to work and these other people have these other things going on and they've got this. And I don't, am I wrong to just be working?
Like, should I have thought about this more? And the Proverbs is like, no, you can keep thinking about it. You might could change careers. The best way to get a job is to already have a job, but don't feel bad about working. It's actually really good. That's what it says.
Proverbs 13, 11, wealth gained hastily will dwindle, but whoever gathers little by little will increase it. The truth is, if you get a lot of money really fast, you probably have not built up the wisdom to handle a lot of money. And so it goes away very quickly. Look at professional athletes. Look at people who get big inheritances or win the lottery. Many of them go broke because they gained it quickly and they didn't know how to handle it.
But wealth gathered little by little, whoever gathers little by little will increase it. One of my favorite little YouTube videos is these two guys are, they're in a dark room. They're over this table. It's lit. One guy rolls out this map and he goes, okay, here's the plan. We get jobs at the bank.
Doesn't matter what the job is, just as long as we're in there. And you go to work, do the work, gain their trust, get them in the palm of your hand. This buddy goes, okay, yeah. And how do we get the money? It's like, that's the best part. They deposit the money in our accounts week after week, month after month.
They don't even know they're being robbed. Then 20, 30 years later, we walk out the front door like nothing's ever happened. This friend goes, man, that's a job. But that's what Proverbs is saying to you. Hey, you want to get rich? Cuts the light on?
Start working at the bank. Go there. Do your job. They'll deposit the money in your account. That's it. That's Proverbs wisdom on gathering wealth is get a job, do the job, do a good job, go to work.
20, 30 Years later, walk right out the front door. So get a job. All right. Now we got a job. Now what?
We're getting a paycheck. What do we do with that? And that's some of what we said we would look at last week is what does wisdom do when it gets a paycheck so that we might understand what ought we to do when we get a paycheck? What do we do when we get some money? Proverbs 3, 9 and 10. We'll look at a couple of places, but we'll start here.
Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the first fruits of all your produce. Then your barns will be filled with plenty and your vats will be bursting with wine. So this is wisdom referring to some Old Testament law on how the Israelites were taught to handle their money. So God tells them, I'm the one. I'm the one who rescued you. I'm the one who brought you out of slavery.
I'm the one who brought you into a good land. I'm the one who makes things grow. I'm the one who's provided everything you have. So when you have your first bit of your harvest, you bring that to the temple. You present it before the altar. You present it to the priest.
They actually had a whole thing they were supposed to say that this bringing in the first fruits was reciting for them, was practicing for them the reality that he is the one who redeems. He is the one who rescued them. He is the one who provides. And so they had this whole thing where they would have to say, like, my father was a wandering Armenian in the woods. And then he grew, but he went into slavery. But you rescued him out of slavery and you've brought us into a good land.
And it's this rehearsal of God's provision. That's what this idea of first fruits is. Now, there's a catch to first fruits. There are no promise of second fruits. In an agrarian society, you have no control over the weather, whether or not bugs come, whether or not enemies come, whether or not there's enough rain or too much rain, enough sun, too much sun. You have no control.
First fruits is an active participant practice in saying, I trust that you're the one who provides and I trust that you're the one who will continue to provide. And so wisdom says the first thing you do with money is give some back to the Lord, trusting that he's ultimately the one who cares for you. Now, what we are often tempted to do is to give him last fruits. Let me wait and see how it all turns out. Let me wait and see how my bills work out. Let me wait and see till the end of the month, till the end of the quarter.
And then I'll give the Lord what's left over. And what you're doing at that point is kind of looking at the Lord and saying, all right, we'll make a deal with you. You give me to the end and you make it all work out well, you'll get some off the top. But the problem is that's not faith. The only way that we can operate in giving money away and giving money back to the Lord is to actually trust him. And so that's what he calls us to.
And he says, he'll bless that. Now, this has been hijacked by prosperity preachers. Talk about seed money and, you know, prayer rags and sweatshawls and all the stuff that they'll sell you. If you, we watched one time in, in our dorm room in college, I remember Matt and I watching a guy who would, if you send in a certain amount of money, they would hand him a thing and he would pray a recession proof blessing over you. Okay. So that's not what this is saying.
It is saying that he is the one who provides and cares for us and that we're better off in trusting him than in not trusting him. And there are times where the Bible says that he will multiply our seed for sowing. Well, what that means is that when you give, he multiplies your seed for sowing, which means you give so that you can give more. That's what seed for sowing is. It keeps going out, not your seed for eating, but as a reality to the first thing that wisdom does is gives money back. Now, biblically, this would have been called a tithe, which was about 10%.
I would be happy to talk with you more about this. We don't talk a ton about the tithe because the new Testament doesn't talk a ton about the tithe. Jesus mentions it once. He says it's good, but we're in the new Testament era. We don't have a temple. We don't have priests.
We have the church that is meant to gather funds together for caring for each other, for it's okay to pay pastors. It's okay to pay missionaries. It's okay to send them. We're out to do these things. And we just say that we think the tithe is a good mental picture of where God considers what a first fruits would look like, but that we're under grace. And so that if the law meant 10% that we think those who are under grace would probably go above that.
So we just say it's a good picture for you to know, like a benchmark kind of a floor area. And then we would operate in grace. Meaning that at times, if you're under that, he's not coming to smite you, but in general, we ought to be people who believe this. Proverbs 18, 10, 11. This is one of the reasons why we have to do this. The name of the Lord is a strong tower.
The righteous man runs into it and is safe. We spent here time here last week. A rich man's wealth is his strong city, like a high wall in his imagination. And then Proverbs 28, 25 says the same thing a little more simply. It says the greedy man stirs up strife, but the one who trusts in the Lord will be enriched. The first thing we're supposed to do with the money is practice trusting the Lord.
And there is a temptation for us to trust our money more than we trust the Lord. And so that's why the Proverbs presses us here. That when we cannot give first fruits back to the Lord, some of what we're practically saying is I just don't really trust you to get me to the end and to make everything work out. And sometimes it's extremely difficult because we have things we have to pay for. We have bills, we have needs. And so we're going to him in faith saying, I trust that you'll make that work.
In Tim Keller's book on Proverbs, it's a devotional on Proverbs. He was talking about this idea and he said there was a farmer who went to his local pastor and he said, hey, my cow just gave birth to calves, gave birth to twins. There's two calves and I'm going to raise them, get them fat, sell them. I'll keep one and give one to the Lord. The pastor's like, sounds good. And then a couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into the pastor again.
He said, oh, I have bad news. I'm sorry, but the Lord's calf died. And Tim Keller says, for many of us, it's always the Lord's calf that dies. That it'll work out as long as it ends up making it to the end, but we'll wait and see. And usually everything encroaches on it. And Proverbs says that's unwise that we should first trust the Lord.
So get a job. When your paycheck comes in, trust the Lord. This means making a plan. This means intentionally doing it. For some of us, it's, you can set it up online to automatically draft out so that you don't have to fight this battle every month. You just set it up and you say, I'm walking in faith on this, but also I'm not going to sit every month and look at it and have to like, some of you need to, you need to get the cash out and look at it and pray over it and stick it in an envelope and bring it over here.
Send it to a missionary. You need to do some of that to fight your soul a little bit so that you might grow in trusting the Lord. Secondly, save some, live simply. Proverbs 13, 22. A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children, but the sinner's wealth is laid up for the righteous. This is some, some of this is pointing out the principle that God has in the book of Proverbs where he thwarts the plans of the greedy and make sure that money makes it to the hands of the righteous.
That's some of what that's saying. But in general, it's also saying that it's okay to save some money that you ought to save some money. This doesn't have to be lavish, but it's okay to have some money set aside for your children and your grandchildren. I don't think it means that you're not good if you can't, but I think it means that it is a good thing to do. Proverbs 21, 17. Whoever loves pleasure will be a poor man.
He who loves wine and oil will not be rich. Precious treasure and oil are in a wise man's dwelling, but a foolish man devours it. Okay. A wise man has precious treasure and oil. A foolish man loves them. A foolish person devours them.
That stung a little bit when I read it because that's how our budget works sometimes. My wife's like, where'd our money go? And I have to be like, I ate it. It went to Bojangles and Eggro Station. It went to Taco Bell. It bought steaks.
It was very delicious, but that's where our money went. I devoured it. That's the reality. Some of you, it's like, where did my money go? Well, you're sitting on it when you watch TV or you're staring at it when you watch TV or you experienced it. You threw axes and rode roller coasters and you have memories that will last a lifetime and no gas to get to work because you devoured it.
But it's okay to have some of those things that it's okay to save. That's the other thing. There's saving for wisdom's sake, for future rainy days, for issues that would come up. It's saving for future enjoyment. And it's okay to enjoy things. It's actually wrong of us for God to bless us and us to never enjoy those things.
That was actually one of the rules in the law as well, that they would gather up some of what God had given them and show up to the temple just to enjoy it in front of him. They were supposed to show up and go buy the things they enjoyed to enjoy God's good blessing. If you gave a gift to a child and they said, I love this so much, I will never touch it. No, it's okay to enjoy it. But that can't be all you do with your money.
And that tension, that idea of saving versus spending is the thing that roommates clash over. You have one roommate that gets their paycheck and they just want to save it. They've got reasons why they're saving it, but they don't want to go do anything. And their other roommate's going, please, you have a job. What's the point of having money if we can't ever go do anything? Married couples do this.
One of them is going, you're so irresponsible. We need to hide that money in our mattress. And the other one's going, I don't want to work a job if I can't ever eat bacon. If we can't ever go do anything. And the reality is both of them are right. There's wisdom and enjoyment and worship and enjoyment, not only enjoyment, not loving it more than we love the Lord.
And there's wisdom in saving and worship and saving, trusting the Lord and being saving, not only for ourselves, but for others. And also knowing that if I don't save later, I'll be a burden on my church family because something will come up and I won't be ready to handle it because I'll have already devoured all of it. There's also potential sin in enjoyment. But I actually think that Jesus isn't that enjoyable. So I have to spend all my money on things that are right in front of me.
And there can be sin in saving, which is I don't really trust him to care for me. And the only way I feel safe at night is to wrap myself in the security blanket of how many zeros I have in the bank. Proverbs 17, 18. One who lacks sense gives a pledge and puts up security in the presence of his neighbor. Proverbs 22, 7. The rich rules over the poor and the borrower is the slave of the lender.
We have been sold on the idea that credit is amazing because you can have the stuff now and pay for it later. But the reality is you've become an indentured servant. You are paying someone else with your active labor for things that you already have. Your money is already spoken for when it shows up. Proverbs 22, 26, and 27. Be not one of those who gives pledges, who put up security for debts.
If you have nothing with which to pay, why should your bed be taken from under you? We've been sold that debt is a good thing and there are some forms of investment debt, specifically in how our culture works, that I think are okay. I'm not sold that debt is just sin, but I am sold that debt is unwise and potentially very unwise. And there are some people who are so in debt that they cannot listen to the call of God. They say, I would go be a missionary, but I have so much debt. I would do these things that God's calling me to, but I have too much debt.
There's reality of we've at times over spent and over enjoyed. The average American household consumer debt is $90,000. That includes college and houses. The average credit card debt is $6,000 and it gets higher the more money you make. So it's not that these are people who couldn't pay their bills.
So they had to put it on a credit card because the more money you make, the more debt you go into, the higher the tax bracket, the higher the debt, which is a little stair step, which means I'm making more money so I can spend more money. Pastor J.R. Vassar had this quote and I thought it was extremely helpful. He says, when we lose the transcendent, all we're left with is the imminent. The transcendent is this idea that I can be drawn up into the light with the Lord, that I can see him as above me and better than me, that I can be caught up in worship. But when we lose that, all we have is what's right in front of us, what we can see, what we can taste, what we can touch.
And therefore we're left with experiences. We're left with pleasures. We're left with things that we can consume and participate in because we've begun to worship what's right in front of us. And this is one of the reasons why we outspend how much we make and we are in debt and we are unable to live simply. And those who follow Jesus ought to look different. Get a job, trust the Lord, save some and live simply.
Another thing would be to avoid debt or to pay off your debt. So you can be generous and use your wealth for the good of others. A very wise Uncle Ben, not the rice one, but the Spider-Man's uncle, told Spider-Man, with great power comes great responsibility. I think Jesus said it better. And first, Luke 12, 48, he says, everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required. And from him to whom they entrusted the much, they will demand the more.
This idea that if God entrusts us with things, there's greater accountability and requirement. And so one of the reasons that we are blessed and one of the reasons that the righteous are blessed with finances is so that they can be generous to the poor. Proverbs 14, 31, whoever oppresses a poor man insults his maker, but he who is generous to the needy honors him. Whoever mocks the poor insults his maker. He who is glad at calamity will not go unpunished. There's a temptation for us to moralize money so that everyone who is rich is greedy.
Those fat cats up on Wall Street, they're evil, they're wicked. Or everyone who's poor is lazy. They're not willing to work. They're scum. They make society worse. And the proverb says, no, it's more nuanced than that.
Yeah, the proverb says there is wickedness. It says one of the ways to get rich is to be violent. It also says you can get rich through wisdom, through righteousness, through the Lord's blessing. It talks a lot about how those who are wealthy can use their wealth for wickedness and to grow in sin. It does say that poverty causes laziness. I'm sorry.
Laziness causes poverty. That you can be poor because of a lack of self-control. You can be poor because of addiction. But you can also be poor because of catastrophe, economic downturn, layoffs, storms. It also says that you can be poor through oppression. There was a way for the poor to make money, but the rich took it away from them.
But it tells us that the righteous and the wise are not running around discerning who's poor and why. They're just being generous to the poor. And it says it over and over and over again. Proverbs 21, 13. Whoever closes his ear to the cry of the poor will himself cry out and not be answered. Proverbs 28, 27.
Whoever gives to the poor will not want. That means lack. We'll have everything provided for them that they need. But he who hides his eyes will get many a curse. Proverbs 19, 17. Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord and he will repay him for his deed.
11, 24. One gives freely yet grows all the richer. Another withholds what he should give and only suffers want. 12, 24. I mapped out on my whiteboard in my office every place that Proverbs talked about money. And I put them in categories.
And by far, the thing that Proverbs has the most to say about money is use it to be good to the poor. Over and over and over again. And I narrowed it down to a handful of them that I think are helpful. Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord and he will repay him for his deed. God cares for the poor, provides for the poor. And if you're generous to the poor, it's like you're lending to God.
It's like you're handing money to him and God sees it and repays. Sometimes here, sometimes eternally. Just for the record, eternally is better. Because you get it for longer. Just throwing that out there. Helping you know how time works.
One gives freely, yet grows all the richer. Another withholds what he should give and only suffers want. One of our biggest pushbacks to giving away money is that I can't afford it. And the Proverbs says, yeah, you can. You can give away freely and grow all the richer. The Lord will repay those who give away.
You can afford it. This ought to be a part of our budget. Just to give you some pictures of what the law helped them understand how much it meant. They were supposed to never glean all their fields all the way to the edges. They were always to leave the edges of their fields ungleaned. So that the poor could have something.
So that you weren't supposed to take advantage of all of your incoming wealth. Every seventh year. So you would keep your fields for six years. And on the seventh year, you weren't supposed to mess with them at all. So that the poor could use your fields and get whatever they could get from them.
So that they were told to consistently be ready to give to the poor. And then over the course of seven years, give about one-seventh of their income to the poor. Now, we pay taxes, which helps. And that's okay. But if the tax situation weren't as it were, the church would be called to provide for the poor across the board 100%.
So there are some of us who fight really hard so that our taxes are lower so that we don't have to do all these subsidies and handouts. But the reality is if we work to get those all paid down so that we don't do that in our taxes, your money should show right back up in handing it out to the poor. So I would encourage you to find something to give to. There are a lot of arguments for how you can read the book, How Helping Hurts. There are some ways that we can give that aren't helpful, that promote continued laziness and addiction. I understand that.
But there are ways to give. Don't use that as an excuse to guard your money. Use that as some wisdom to get it in the right hands in the right way. God's Helping Hands is right down the road. Our church helps support them, but you can help support them. They help pay bills and give food.
Oliver Gospel Mission across the river. They help with homelessness. His house helps men who are alcoholics get a job and get back on their feet. Compassion International. You can foster. One of the ways that we do this as a church is we help give money to Midtown Two Notch in downtown because they planted a church where the average household income is $19,000.
Not the average single income. The average household income is $19,000. And so in order for them to have a full-time pastor and somebody to be able to minister over there, they're not going to be able to pay. So we gather with some other churches to help support so they can have full-time work over there. Find something. Vet some organization and give some money to it.
All right. Y'all ready for some pie charts? I know y'all were hoping there would be some pie charts. Boom. Boom. Pie chart.
All right. So I did really even Numbers. So don't get super caught up on the Numbers. But let's say your income was $50,000. Household income $50,000. When money comes in, you're going to have to pay some taxes, but your first fruits would be right at 10%.
It's just a good starting place understanding how that would work. Then you would save some or you would pay down debt or both. So over the course of the year, you would save some money, and then you would live off the bulk of it. That's that blue section. That's paying bills, wearing clothes. At this rate, depending on how single or married or childrened up you are, depends on how thrifty you are.
And then you give some. I just put $100 a month. Like you're getting into this. You're figuring out how to do this. Depending on what you have, you would make this. But that's it.
Those are kind of the buckets of how you would put money and save and debt retirement are together. Let's say you work harder, get a promotion, marry a sugar mama, and your income goes up to $100,000. Again, just super level Numbers. What can happen is this. You'll notice the pie chart did not change. The Numbers just increased.
But the reality of what I think the Proverbs is calling us to is that as money comes in, the percentages also change. So that instead of it just being first fruits $10,000, save $10,000, live off of $77,600, and give $2,400 away, which you give more away, you doubled everything, but the percentages are the same, then it would actually start looking more like this the more money you got. That your giving would grow because your ability to live off of that amount. You were already living off a certain amount, so you learned how to live off of that. That eventually the wise might grow to the place where they've learned how to live.
Because what we've been taught in society, yeah, so then they get a raise of $15,000 over the course of a year, and that just cranks up what they give away. Trusting the Lord provides, trusting the Lord increases, trusting the Lord cares for them. The reality that our culture has taught us is that as your income grows, your lifestyle needs to grow. Your house needs to get bigger, your vacations need to get nicer, your clothes need to get nicer, that you level up continually. And the reality is if you get a big raise, yeah, I think it's perfectly fine to say, hey, thank you, Lord. We're going to use some of this for enjoyment, thanking the Lord that he provides for us.
But the reality of the way the Proverbs calls us to handle money is that the more that comes in, the more that ought to begin to go out. If you only make $40,000 a year, most of your money needs to be spent on living. It's just how it works. But if you're making $250,000 a year, you can live well inside of that and give a lot of money away. Trusting the Lord, lending to the Lord, that he blesses it, that he provides for it, and that he gives money to the righteous so that they might produce life in the world. If you are thinking, okay, I really need to figure out how to make a budget.
I know many of us are just like, this all sounds nice. I understand that Proverbs has given me some wisdom, but I need some practical help. I got three practical helps for you. Two of them are books. The Treasure Principle and Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover, I would encourage both of these books. I would encourage you to read both of them.
Because what Total Money Makeover is going to do is he gives you practical steps to save some money, to get a budget. He has budget help in there. It's very straightforward. And the Treasure Principle is going to go through – it's a fairly short book, but it's going to go through a lot of the principles that the Bible has about giving your money away. So what Dave Ramsey teaches is learn how to handle your money well now so that you can be ludicrously rich later, rolling in the dough like Scrooge McDuck.
And actually, Dave Ramsey's a good place to start if you don't have a budget. But you need Randy Alcorn to tell you, yeah, that's not super biblical, that rolling in the money thing. And so let's talk about some better ways to use it that are more eternally minded. And so I would encourage you to read both. I would also encourage you to talk with our finance team. They are called Toast.
So Treasury Oversight and Sustainability Team. They named themselves that when we first started as a church plant because they said if they didn't do their job, we were toast. We agreed. They've done their job, and we're not toast yet. But we have a toast team that would – they will set up time with you to look at your money and help you make a budget and a plan.
And the truth is you'll be a little mad at them when you leave because it's your money and your heart's all wrapped up in it. And they're going to look at your thing and go, why are you spending that much money on that? And you're going to be like, hey, why are you all up in my business? And it's like, because you invited me to help. Oh, yeah, I remember. But it's helpful.
So those would be my three encouragement. You can email finance at millcitycasey.com and set that up. You can also just talk to me afterwards, and I'll get you in contact with somebody. All right. Basil the Great, AD 39 through 379. He says this.
He was a church leader in the early church. He says, the bread in your cupboard belongs to the hungry. The coat unused in your closet belongs to the one who needs it. The shoes rotting in your closet belong to the one who has no shoes. The money which you hoard up belongs to the poor. Therefore, as often as you were able to help others and refused, so often did you do them wrong.
Jesus loves the poor, and he calls on us to love the poor. So get a job. Trust the Lord. Save some and live simply so that you can be generous and use your wealth for the help of others. Now, if you're like me, the Proverbs are getting pretty annoying. They're helpful.
But I haven't been getting high marks. I haven't been reading through the Proverbs, and it's just been like a highlight reel of all my awesomeness. I keep going through this, and it's like, Ted, comment? I would have told you I was wise before this, but I'm doing some dumb things. Anger, words, which was an unfun sermon. Money.
I hadn't even enjoyed preaching these. It's like I've had to repent all week long. I'm having to have conversations with my wife about our budget. It's not... The only one I did well on was the womanhood sermon. I was...
But we're coming out of this going, oh, my goodness. I got another thing I got to work on. I got something else that I'm having problems with. I got... Huh. I want to tell you all something to make sure that we're thinking about this right.
We're Christians. Christians. I taught my son when his younger brother was first born. I had to cut the grass some, and I would need my three, four-year-old to help keep an eye on his little brother. But he's not able to do anything other than just check on him.
So I'd have the front door open. I'd be cutting the grass. I told him he can't just run up on me. So I taught him a signal. It was pretty subtle. It was this.
That's the signal. Come on the front porch and do that till I see you. I will quit cutting the grass. I'll come inside. All the signal meant was, I need you. That's it.
Stop what you're doing. I need you. The reality is every time we run into one of these situations where we're seeing what obedience looks like, what wisdom looks like, and we aren't there, all we're doing is looking at Jesus and going, this is a place I need you. This is a place where I don't actually believe that you're better. This is a place where I don't actually believe that you're more enjoyable. This is a place where I don't actually trust that you're good.
And the reason we want to get rid of these places is not so that we have more of us, not so that you can leave the Proverbs series being more puffed up in your own strength, but so that we might lay those things down and have what is actually good, Jesus. That's why we repent of sin. That's why we root it out. That's why we grow in these things. That's why when he says to you, you're handling your money wrong, and we want to hold so tightly to it, the reality is if we could just put that down, we'd get something better. Him.
And so in these moments when we're seeing these things, we're saying, Lord, I need the gospel to penetrate my heart here. I don't really believe it yet. I don't really believe that you'll satisfy. So I have to chase all these other things. That's why I'm in debt. I'm looking for other things to satisfy.
I don't really believe that you'll protect me. That's why I'm trusting in my money. I don't really believe that you'll cover upcoming expenses, and you'll know that they're coming, and that you're sovereign and you're good. And I also kind of believe that you'll lead me into some difficult situations, and I don't really believe that in those difficult situations, I'll get more of you, and they'll be better. I just don't want the difficulty. We ought not leave beat up, and we ought not leave puffed up.
We ought to leave our sin and be wrapped up in the work of Christ, that we are free, and that He is good, and that He is delightful, and that He redeems. That's why we sing to Him. That's why we praise His name. That's why we say we just want Him, because He ultimately is good. So yes, we repent of sin.
Yes, we grow in wisdom, so that we might have that which is actually better to have. So I don't know for you what it is. I don't know if firstfruits is the immediate thing that you're just like, I can't do that. I just can't. Then wave your arms at Jesus and say, I don't trust you, and I need to believe the gospel more.
I don't know if it's, I don't want to get a job. I don't want to just get any Job. Maybe you have your identity wrapped up in a job, and can I tell you, it's not going to give you a good identity. Jesus gives you a better one. Maybe it's just apathy. You don't think you have much to bring.
You don't see the good effort and work in the world, and you need to wave your hands at Jesus and say, I just don't really believe that you've created everything good, and that you've redeemed it, and that you're working in this. Maybe you can't live simply, and you need to just wave your arms and say, Jesus, I don't find you that satisfying. Please let me learn to rest and trust and enjoy you. You say there's pleasures at your right hand forevermore. Let me believe that. Maybe it's that you can't, you only want to save, and that you just fear and doubt, and security is found in money for you, that you trust in it more than the Lord.
Maybe giving money away hurts you. I want to show you off something. This is 2 Corinthians 8, 9. It says, For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich. Some of us are just struggling with the idea that all we really needed from Jesus was a handout. Not some good coaching.
Not some wisdom so that we could get it together. Not just, hey, just watch me for a little while, and then give me like three tips, and I got this. But Jesus, I don't have anything if you don't show up. And he who had all strength, and all power, and all glory, and all wisdom, and all riches, and all wealth, gave it up, was stripped, was beaten, was naked, bled out, was buried, and rose again, so that by his poverty we might become rich. And you are if you were in Christ. That's why we respond with money the way we're supposed to respond with it.
Because I'm already rich in Christ. Money can't give me anything that I don't already have. And I'm just practicing what I already believe, which is that Jesus, by his strength, used it for my good, so I get to use it for the good of others. And that I trust him, and that he's good, and that I can follow him in all of life. So as we walk through the Proverbs, repent!
Not so that you can be better, and present yourself to Jesus as glorious. No! He presents you as glorious through his atoning work on the cross. Repent so that you might enjoy Jesus. And for some of us today, that means money. But can I tell you, he's better.
Matt and Carson are going to come back up, and we're going to sing to Jesus because he's better. May we believe that he's better. God, we ask that you would help us to trust you, to get you, to get rid of these things so that we might have you. Lord, we thank you that you used your riches to make us rich. That you used your strength to make us strong. That you used your power to give us hope and a future.
You do not call on us to be rich, or to be powerful, or to have strength. You don't call on us to get it together and to be good, but you call on us to come to you knowing that you are good. So Lord, help us to get to work. Help us to respond with righteousness as you increase our wealth. So that we might grow in delighting in you, and sharing your life and your goodness and your grace with the world.
Lord, make the people in this church family rich in spiritual blessings. Make us rich in finances. So that we can send more missionaries. So that we can care for the poor well in Casey. Make us rich so that we can multiply life and righteousness through the way that we handle it. And Lord, by your grace, if we are not ready to handle it, keep us right where we are.
Until we learn to love you more than money. God, we thank you for your grace, and we thank you for your spirit, and may we have more of you. Get rid of everything that's in the way of that. In Jesus' name, amen. Amen. Amen.
Amen. Amen.
Wisdom and Wealth (pt. 1) (Proverbs 10:16, 18:10-11)
Use this guide to help your group discussion as you meet this week.
Transcript
Thank you. Thank you. We're going to be talking about money. Who's excited? Yeah. I knew y'all would be glad to be here.
The Proverbs has a lot to say about money. And we were going to try to take this all on in one week. But it was looking like it was going to be like a 37 point sermon. Which for those of y'all who've been here a while and have heard me preach, you know that I mostly like to preach sermons that don't even have a point. And so 37 was going to be a lot. So we're going to look at it in two weeks.
We're going to study it this week and we're going to see what the Proverbs have to say about our approach to money. How we ought to consider money as we come to it. But then next week we're going to look at basically what does Lady Wisdom do when she gets a paycheck? What does her budget look like? If you are wise and righteous, what does your budget look like? But this week we're going to take a more broad view and just kind of understand some of the things that the Proverbs has to say about money and finances and wealth.
And I know that talking about money can make some people uncomfortable. And I know for some of you if it's your first Sunday you were like, I knew it! I knew this is all they talked about in churches. It's not, but it will be for the next two weeks. But stay for three and then you'll hear something different.
But I know this makes people uncomfortable sometimes to talk about money and so I thought I'd ease us in by talking about something else to start off. So we're going to begin this morning by talking about guns. That's actually just a fun transition into this idea. We will get to guns, but let me tell you that I have two sons. I have a three-year-old and a six-year-old and I'm teaching them things all the time. And I'm going to have to continue to teach them things all the time.
And one of the things that I've realized is there are certain things in life that are good and enjoyable, but that you have to approach with a certain level of seriousness, a certain level of maturity, a certain level of caution, a certain level of wisdom. Otherwise, they can be very, very bad. Swimming is like this. Swimming is a lot of fun. But without a certain level of maturity, without a certain level of wisdom, without a certain level of seriousness, it can be very terrible.
We like to build fires in my backyard and roast marshmallows. And that can be a lot of fun. But without a certain level of maturity, it can be terrible. I want to teach my sons to hunt one day. That's where the guns comes in. It was just a fun intro, like I said, to this idea.
But without a certain level of maturity and seriousness and training and thought, that can be terrible. I want to teach them to drive a vehicle one day. And there's tons of things in the world that work like this. And the Proverbs are going to caution us that money is also like this. That finances are like this. Wealth are like this.
There's this idea that we have that if I just had more money, things would be better. And the Proverbs says, no, maybe not. Maybe you having more money would make things worse. Maybe it would be bad for you to have more money. And so even this tension of us going, well, money is not like that, means that we have some wisdom to gain from the Proverbs that knows something about wealth that we don't. So let's pray and let's study this together.
And hopefully we can change our approach to money a little bit. God, we thank you for this time we get to spend gathered as your redeemed people. That even as we've spent this time in the book of Proverbs over the past several weeks, and as we continue to spend our time in the book of Proverbs, and we grow in wisdom, we do not grow in our ability to be saved. We do not grow in our morality so that you might love us more. We do not come as people who are here to get this right so that we might have life. We come as those who have been given life through the work of Christ, and therefore get to grow in obedience and joy as we walk faithfully following you.
So, Lord, may we be a gospel people who trust your word and trust you, and may we grow in wisdom. In Jesus' name, amen. Amen. Proverbs 10, chapter 16 says this, The wage of the righteous leads to life, the gain of the wicked to sin. The wage of the righteous leads to life, the gain of the wicked to sin. So when the righteous get paid, good things happen.
Life increases. Life increases. Life increases. That there is more of God's work and ministry going on in the world when the righteous have money. That through money there can be people can be helped. People can eat.
Things can change. Sin can be held at bay. That there's these things through money, through wages, that in the hands of the righteous are very, very good. But money in the hand of the wicked, when they gain, when their portfolio looks really nice, it only increases sin. So if you take notes, one of the first things you need to write down is that money is a tool.
Money is a tool. And therefore, because it is a tool, it depends on who's wielding it as to whether or not it's good or bad. This is why, if you just think, if I just have more money, things will be better, the proverb says, maybe not. Maybe it will just empower you to sin more. My family, we appreciate the movie Megamind. It's a very underrated movie.
Some of you are like, I've never heard of that. I just said it was very underrated. Megamind is a good movie. One of the scenes in Megamind, they encapsulate superhero powers basically in a pill. And they're trying to find someone to give this to. So they have basically the powers of Superman in a little capsule.
And what you realize is that the powers don't actually make you great. They just enhance who you are. So if you give the powers to someone who is already righteous, then they will be super-powered righteous. But if you give it to someone who is a fool, you will have a super-powered fool. I don't want to ruin the movie for you. It ends up in the hands of a fool.
And it makes things worse. And so that's actually somehow we ought to consider money. That if you had more money, it does not necessarily mean good things for you. It actually may be God's grace on you right now that he's kept you in your tax bracket. Because he's gracefully limiting your ability to multiply your sin. Some of y'all need to go home and say, thank you, Jesus.
That I only get to sin at just barely above the poverty level. Because if you'd have given me money, I'd have been all over the place. We've been convincing ourselves that if we just had money, things would be fine. But that's not necessarily true. And so we need to grow in wisdom before we get money. Because money works like this, it is a tool.
But that means that money is also a test. That money displays what you love, what you care about, what matters to you. That money displays your heart. It's like taking a test. That's what a test is, that it shows us where we are. And you don't actually have to have a lot of money for it to do this.
All money does this. It's what Jesus says in Luke 16, 10. One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much. And one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much. Sometimes we like to convince ourselves that I'm only this way with my money because I don't have a lot. And that sounds great unless you talk to Jesus.
And he says, that's not true. But we believe this in other things. We don't think that she makes a terrible employee, but she'll be a great boss. She'll show up to time, work on time and really care. It's like she has this much responsibility right now and she can't do that. So let's give her more.
Don't believe that. If you're dating a guy and he says, yeah, I'm a bad boyfriend, but I'll really step it up when we get married. Don't believe that. That's not how it works. And so if right now you do not handle money well, biblically, getting more of it will not help you. It will harm you.
It will promote wickedness and sin. So money is a tool. And because of that, it's a test. Our money displays what we love, what we care about. But it's not that neutral.
It actually gets worse than that. The scriptures tell us that it's not just a test. It is also a temptation. That money woos us towards sin. And that you're better off without it to be sinless than to pursue it and grow in sin. So it's a temptation.
Proverbs 18, 10 through 11 says this. The name of the Lord is a strong tower. The righteous man runs into it and is safe. A rich man's wealth is his strong city and like a high wall in his imagination. I love those two verses together. The name of the Lord is a strong tower.
That you can run into him and be safe. This is told to us throughout the scriptures that all those who believe in him will not be put to shame. That if you trust him, he will rescue you. He will defend you. That all you really need is him and he can protect you and keep you. And then it says, but rich people replace God with money.
God is a strong tower, but to a rich man, his money is his strong city. Like a high wall in his imagination. Oh, a little pretend wall. That's cute. It's like when my son's holding up a cardboard like roll-up thing and it's a sword. It's like, that's neat.
You're not going to get to defend our house with it though because it won't actually work. That's what it says about money. And the truth is right now we can look at this and go, those rich people. Trusting their money. Thinking it's a strong tower. But the reality is, isn't that how money works?
Don't we see how much money we have first to then decide whether or not we really need to pray about something? Some of you, your tire blew out. It's not a problem. I have money. Some of you, your tire blew out and it was a big problem. Why?
Because you didn't have money. Your strong city was gone. You needed a strong tower. And it just depends on your tax bracket and your wealth amount and how many zeros you have in your bank account as to how safe you feel. And that's why money can lure us away because money makes God-sized promises that are extremely believable. I mean, extremely believable.
It says things to us and to our hearts. That's why it's competing. That you can trust in the Lord, but a rich man doesn't trust in his wealth. Because it's so easy to do. It makes God-level promises and we want to believe them. That's why Jesus says you can't serve God and money.
You'll either love one or hate the other. They're in competition in a distinct way. Your money says to you, do not be afraid for I am with you. I know the plans that I have for you. Plans for good and not for harm. To give you a future and a hope.
Pleasures are at my right hand forevermore. And none of us doubt it. If I had enough money, wouldn't that just be true? I always feel like this is the reality because we can replace worship songs with money and they still make sense. I grew up singing the song, Because He Lives. That song could just be Because I'm Rich.
Because I'm rich, I can face tomorrow. Because I'm rich, all fear is gone. Come on. Because I know who holds the future. And life is worth the living just because I'm rich. And we believe that.
But it's not just that. A mighty fortress is our gold. We could make a whole album. Only bling forever in cash alone. Money makes God-level promises to us and we do not doubt them. And that is a danger.
And the more money you have, the more believable it becomes. And again, I'll say, God has been gracious to us in that He has not let us grow in finances if we are not yet trusting in Him. And it can actually be a form of His wrath on you for you to financially succeed so that you might run headlong into sin. Proverbs 11, 28 says this. Whoever trusts in his riches will fall. And in the Hebrew, that word fall means fall to His death.
But the righteous will flourish like a green leaf. So when we begin to believe this, when we believe that money can redeem us, save us, help us, protect us, that it is sovereign over us to keep us from harm and danger and to give us the good life, we begin to head into trouble. 1 Timothy 6, 9 says, Those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. Matthew 13, 22. As for what was sown among the thorns, this is the one who hears the word. These people who would say they believe, but the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word and it proves unfruitful.
That our money lies to us. And it competes with God and we begin to love it. We begin to worship it. We begin to serve it. And this is an idol. We have a handful of things that I think will help us identify this idolatry.
Let's look back at that chapter 18. So this is like a strong tower in his imagination. A high wall in his imagination. So I think one of the first questions you can begin to ask is, how does money work in my imagination? Be the first question to try to see, is this an idol for you? Is this something that you long for?
Is it something that you worship? How does it work in your imagination? How do you finish the sentence? If I just had enough money, then I wouldn't have to worry. As if money somehow replaces the sovereignty of God on the throne. If I just had enough money, then I could be happy.
I wouldn't be so stressed. Then I could really have the good stuff. If I just had enough money, then people would listen to me. They would respect me. What is it? How do you finish that sentence?
And the reality is, however you finish that sentence helps you begin to identify what it is that you want money for, what it is that you will most love to serve, and why you would get money. And all of them can be an extreme danger to us. So that's the first question. How does money work in your imagination? Number two, has money begun to give you identity? Proverbs 28, 11 says, A rich man is wise in his own eyes, but a poor man who has understanding will find him out.
Okay, so wealth and wisdom. So it says a rich man says, I'm wise. Becomes wise in his own eyes, which in the Proverbs, being wise in your own eyes is one of the pinnacles of foolishness. But he actually thinks that his wealth dictates to him his character and his maturity. And for many of us who aren't rich, we're like, But don't we often use money to help us know where we are in life? Like a tangible scorekeeper?
As to whether or not we're good, as to whether or not we're successful, as to whether or not we've progressed. Don't you, when you picture yourself, you have more money in the future than you do right now? I don't know of any American who thinks in the future I'll be poorer than I am right now. And if you do, someone near you will say, have you not heard of compound interest? You're doing this wrong. But there's this reality that we use this as somehow dictates to us how we're doing, who we are.
Like somehow wealth dictates to us character. And that is completely foreign to the scriptures and is actually foolish. So has your money begun to give you an identity? Either to grant it to you or to take it from you, depending on where your wealth is at the moment. Third question. Are you willing to sin to get money?
So here's how idolatry works. If we love Jesus as our highest joy, then we will forsake sin to have him. But if something else is our highest joy, even though we know that something is wrong, we will choose sin to have it. It's one of the best ways for you to identify what you love more than Jesus is just ask the question, what am I willing to sin to have? But specifically here, are you willing to sin to have money, to get money?
Proverbs 15, 27 says, Whoever is greedy for unjust gain troubles his own household, but he who hates bribes will live. Unjust gain means gain that you should not have gotten. You're welcome. That's greed. Wanting something that should not be yours. Sinning to get it.
Let's look at a couple. Proverbs 22, 16 says, Whoever oppresses the poor to increase his own wealth, or gives to the rich, will only come to poverty. So, the back half of these two that we're going to look at, show that God ultimately thwarts this plan. But it also, in the first half, shows us that we try it. So there is a way to oppress the poor to increase your own wealth, and to be generous with the rich, and Jesus talks about this as well, to be generous with those, to give to those who can give back to you.
But there's no point in being generous to the poor, because they can't help you. But being generous and gracious to the rich, rich is a good way to grow in social capital. The next one says this, Whoever multiplies his wealth by interest and profit, gathers it for him who is generous to the poor. Again, ultimately, God's going to thwart that plan. But, oh my goodness. I went to business school.
I have a business degree. I studied economics. Multiply your wealth by interest and profit. That's what we're supposed to do. It's what I've been told my whole life. Now, it's a little more nuanced than it reads.
I want to say some things real quick. One is, I'm a fan of capitalism. I think it actually does promote greater freedom. I think it does promote greater wealth. I think everybody ends up a little bit better off. But there is an untethered capitalism that most Americans ascribe to that is wickedness.
We're taught to pay the lowest wages you can possibly pay to retain the type of worker you need to retain. And that you pay them more if it's in your best interest to do so. We're told to charge the maximum amount of money you can charge for an item where people will still pay for it. We're told to gain as much interest as we possibly can to pay as little interest as we possibly can. And ultimately, the Bible's going to say that these tactics begin to oppress the poor. And that God does not look favorably on it.
You know who pays the highest interest rates on things? The poor. Do you know where payday loans are located? And buy here, pay here, car places are located? Do you know who has to take the lowest wages offered? And keep taking the lowest wage offered?
Do you know who buys things in smaller quantities for a higher markup? Do you know who does not have a Sam's card? Or a Costco membership? The Bible says that we practice this to the detriment of our souls. Now, some of you just got real excited because we took 15 seconds to stick it to the man. Well, you're included in here as well.
Let's see. Proverbs 20, 23 and 21, 6. It says, Unequal weights are an abomination to the Lord and false scales are not good. The getting of treasures by a lying tongue is a fleeting vapor and a snare of death. There's a possibility for you to convince yourself that whatever you do that somehow takes away from the big corporations, whether it's true or not, is perfectly justified because they're wicked. The Bible would call that wickedness.
Unequal weights is the idea that someone would have when they were buying and selling a different weight that they actually used to measure out goods so that you could pay less and charge more. You don't walk around with weights in your pocket. But you probably have played up the quality of the vehicle you were selling when you knew there were some things wrong with it. You probably have played down how much you wanted something, maybe even lied about it. I used to work in sales. Customers ask good questions that salespeople don't know the answer to.
People who sell a lot of things make up good answers that may or may not be true. If you meet a salesperson and they have really good answers to everything, there's a good chance that they are lying to you. Some people clock in and don't work. Have their friend clock in for them. Some of you have started working from home because of the pandemic. I'm sorry.
Working from home because of the pandemic. There's a way for us to lie to gain. You lie on your resume. Download pirated content. You know the sticker is wrong on something at a retail place, but the person running the register doesn't, so you pay what they asked you. It's a good way to save some cash.
It's an unjust weight. It's an abomination to the Lord. Are we willing to sin to gain? Now, I would encourage you to not just sit at this moment and try to think through that, but to go sit with the Holy Spirit and ask these questions because the Holy Spirit does not want sin for you because sin ultimately does not lead to life. I have found one of the questions. I ask the Lord a lot of questions.
I found one of the ones He's most readily able to answer and desires to answer for me is where am I sinning? I can usually sit with a blank sheet of paper and say, Lord, where am I sinning and not seeing it? He usually has a few things that He tells me. That's why I don't do it very often. I find it uncomfortable. But I would encourage you to sit and do that.
The next one is, are you willing to sin to keep your money? Some of us made it through. We're not willing to sin to get money. But the Proverbs says some things about keeping our money. Proverbs 11, 24 says, One gives freely. It grows all the richer.
We're going to talk about that next week when we talk about what does wisdom do with its money. But the next one says this, Another withholds what he should give and only suffers want. You'll see that word should in there. Not withholds what he could give. Not withholds what he might give. Withholds what he should give.
Meaning that some of the money you have, there are claims made to it that are not your own. Three primary ones that the Bible is going to give us. Is that we are to return our first fruits to the Lord. Meaning to support His work. We're to pay our taxes. And to be generous to the poor.
And that when you get money, you are a steward of God's provision. And you ought to handle it well. The FedEx driver does not get to go through the boxes and decide what they keep and what they deliver. And some of the money that is coming into your account is not for you. But we withhold what we should give.
The poor is disliked even by his neighbor. But the rich has many friends. Whoever despises his neighbor is a sinner. But blessed is he who is generous to the poor. So I think one of the best questions is to ask, how do you defend your money?
How do you defend your money? What do you tell yourself to make yourself feel better about the fact that you are guarding your money? Well, I would give to them but they'd handle it poorly. So I'll handle it poorly for them right now. I don't have to give because I give my time. Which you should do.
You give your time. That's good. But that's also a really good way to defend your cash. Oh, this is one of my personal favorites. I like to execute this move. It's I find out someone needs something.
I tell myself I'm more than happy to help them. Because I have to say that to myself so I can feel good. And then I say, but I'll wait and see if somebody else takes care of it first. I don't want to get in the way of letting someone else receive a blessing by being generous. You have really needy friends. So then you just change that to I had some really needy friends.
You avoid certain sections of town because someone might ask you for something or you'll just see them and know they need it and you feel uncomfortable. So you just tell yourself it's not really safe over there. What you really mean is my cash isn't really safe over there plus my guilt feels bad when I'm in that side of town. You've got 15 I hadn't even mentioned. We're all really good at this. But are we willing to sin to keep our money?
Proverbs 21, 26 All day long this is the sluggard. He craves and craves but the righteous gives and does not hold back. I think just one of the simple tests is does all your money terminate on you? Every bit of the money that comes in go towards your life your lifestyle how you get things. Do you crave and crave? Can't wait until you get your next paycheck because you know already what it's going to get for you.
It's a good way to indicate that you're handling your money poorly. Money is a tool it tests us and it tempts us. Proverbs 23, 4 says Do not toil to acquire wealth. Be discerning enough to desist. That be discerning enough means in the words of the way my dad would put it is have enough sense. Have enough sense to stop.
When your eyes light on it it is gone for suddenly it sprouts wings flying like an eagle toward heaven. Some of you are like I thought that was just my money. The Bible says all money works like that? It just disappears? It's one of the ideas from the scriptures that ultimately all your money will be gone but you can use it in a way that has eternal effect but to pursue money ultimately will fail you. And so the Proverbs says have enough sense to stop.
But how many of us have just bought into the lie that if I can just make more if I can just get to here if I could just be as high as if I could just have as much as if I could just finally get this house this car these clothes these friends this job that office Proverbs says see it and stop. Now why? Why does God tell us that? Proverbs 15 16 Better is a little with the fear of the Lord than great treasure and trouble with it. If you don't fear the Lord your great treasure will trouble you. It will lead you into sin.
It will lead you into temptation. It will convince you to trust it and it makes very convincing arguments. But the Bible says it's better it's better if you just have the Lord. That Jesus is better if you can end up with him and no money no treasure you're better. Why does it say that? Because it believes it.
Is better if you can end up with him and no money no treasure you're better. Why does it say that? Because it believes it. It believes that he actually is a strong tower that can defend you that can protect you that can provide for you that can guard you that can help you.
He owns all the money multiple times in this these Proverbs it kept saying God's going to take the money and give it to who he wants to. He can do that anytime he needs to for you and he will. Now you can have treasure actual real treasure and you can also have a little an actual
Little this isn't some sort of trick like if I get Jesus then I get the cash no you you might just have a little you might miss out on some things there might be some stuff you don't get to go do you don't get to partake in
Your house is not as nice but you get Jesus and he's better there's joy and peace and hope and life and if you read through the Proverbs you'll see this over and over again it's better to just have some love than a giant house where there's wickedness and trouble
It says it's better to eat herbs than a meal with meat where there's trouble and wickedness and sin now herbs is the stuff we put on top of our meat so just eating herbs is like what but it says it's better because he's better he wants himself for you
So much so that he was willing to die to rescue you to steal your heart back from money he wants good for you and hope and life for you and money lies to you and we so often believe it isn't it more tangible isn't it more under our control isn't it nicer to
Have at some point I just want money because I don't really want God to be in charge of how things work out for me it's not that I don't trust him it's just that I don't really trust him that's really what we're saying
I just need well okay but I just need the money and if he could just give me the money then I'll just handle it fine and that'll be great ultimately money is a good gift it's just a terrible God it can be used for good things
We'll talk about that next week but if we don't have wisdom we don't have righteousness we don't have the fear of the Lord you don't want money it's just gonna be worse if you have righteousness if you have wisdom if you have fear of
The Lord then you can have some money because it won't grab your heart you can handle it much much differently Proverbs 11 7 when the wicked dies his hope will perish the expectation of wealth
Perishes too the rich and the poor meet together the Lord is maker of them all eventually everything money told you it was gonna do it fails to deliver eventually yes you can be super rich and you
Can own a chimpanzee and have a super nice house and a swimming pool but eventually everything money tells you it's going to do it fails to do it doesn't protect you it doesn't provide for you it doesn't save you it doesn't give you pleasures forevermore
It doesn't have a hope and a future for you Jesus does but your money doesn't that's what it says Proverbs 11 4 riches do not profit in the day of wrath but righteousness delivers from death you know there's a day of
Wrath coming where we stand held accountable for our sin and we want to stand in the righteousness of Christ not in the wealth of our bank account one of the benefits that rich people have in the world right now is that
They can sue out of court they can settle out of court they can just work something out with somebody they can make a deal most people can't do that they have to go to court to get justice but a lot of wealthy people can just say it's gonna be too much of a
Burden too much time too expensive and I'll just settle out of court there is a court that rich people cannot settle out of because no one can settle out of it you stand in that court on that day before the king and you are
Either clothed in his righteousness or you stand on your own and wealth cannot save you but all those who put their faith in Jesus will not be put to shame so may we be wise enough to stop chasing money to understand its inherent dangers to approach it with some
Wisdom and some temperance and some calm and be happier to not have it and have Jesus than to just get it so that we can feel okay right now in our imaginations the band's gonna come back up we're gonna
Be thankful in Christ that we have an inheritance that is undefiled unfading and kept in heaven for you we read that earlier together but that's the reality for those who have placed their faith in Jesus is that there is hope
In him that he keeps us from danger that he keeps us for all eternity so we're gonna try to join with Proverbs 37 through 9 that says this two things I ask of you deny them not to me before I die remove far from me
Falsehood and lying give me neither poverty nor riches feed me with the food that is needful for me lest I be full and deny you and say who is the Lord or lest I be poor and steal and profane the name
Of my God can we be that free can we just come to him and say Jesus I just want you you handle the finances give me what you want me to have I trust you but don't give me so much that I
Lose this make sure I'm fed make sure I'm cared for Lord I trust you to do that but oh Lord help me not have money be a thing
That stands in the way of me having you can I just have you can we say that can we believe that by the power of the spirit can we just say I just can it
This not get in the way can I just have you so we're going to stand and we're going to sing take the world but give
Me Jesus and we're going to try to join with Proverbs 30 and say Lord let me just have you and if I can have
That it'll be enough and there can be times I really need to trust you and I really need to lean in you but
The truth is in those moments I get more of you that's what he wants for us so much so that he would die
That we might have him and he might have us and the truth is if money gets in the way of it get rid
Of it let's pray Lord our money tempts us towards sin and it exposes our hearts and may we not believe the lie that
We're told by money and that our culture supports wholeheartedly that it will give us hope it will give us future it will keep
Us safe it will tell us who we are and how much value we have may we run from that to the cross and
The king who holds all pleasure and joy and treasure and hope forever Lord may we handle money as if we have been redeemed
And were held in the very competent hands of the ruler of the universe might we look so drastically different when it comes to how we
Handle our finances to what our bank account looks like because we trust that you are God over all may we be honest in
Our dealing may we be open with our finances may we be generous Lord may we have you in Jesus name Amen we have
In 简 we have him may speak in your words
Wisdom and Anger
Use this guide to help your group discussion as you meet this week.
Transcript
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. He is great. He can throw well.
He can even hit. It was very exciting up until about a month ago. He finally had a bad outing and he left the mound pretty angry and did what no pitcher should ever do. He got to the dugout and decided to use his fists in his anchor and he punched the dugout benches. And I don't know if you've ever punched something like a bench or a wall. It does not go well for your hand.
And he broke his hand and he's out for like the next, he's out a month, he's like two more months that he's out, which hurts us. He learned a valuable lesson. When you get angry, kick things. If you're a pitcher, do not use your hands. They are very valuable for your career. But no, he felt embarrassed.
The coach came out and just said he's super embarrassed, super frustrated and super mad at kind of how he went about himself and making a fool of himself. The reality is, is that that happens to us, right? In our anger, we do foolish things, not as public as his mistake, but the reality is, is that we mess up in a lot of different ways that are more private. Maybe you've lost your temper and you've acted harshly towards your spouse behind closed doors. Maybe you're the kind of person that you've snapped at your kids when they don't react the way that you want them to. Maybe you are the kind of person that has sent passive aggressive emails to co-workers in your anger and made a fool of yourself.
Maybe you've even given your friends when they have treated you not the way that you've wanted to be treated. You've given them a cold shoulder, right? You've just been angry towards them. The reality is, is we do this on a regular basis in a lot of different ways. Anger is both self-destructive and it hurts and harms others. So we're going to look at the Proverbs today and see what it has to say, what kind of wisdom it has to give for the subject matter of wrath.
So as we move through this today, we're going to look at it from three different angles. We are first going to look at the danger of anger. Why anger is dangerous. Then we're going to look secondly at the fulfillment of wrath. How this shows up throughout the whole of the scriptures. And then lastly, we're going to get real practical in how to rule our anger.
How to rule our anger. How to control our wrath. So let me pray and then we'll jump into the text. Father, we thank you for your word. That it is a gift. That you have spoken.
And we get to open it up. We get to let it go to work on our hearts. And I pray this morning that you would soften our hearts. That you would move us towards repentance. And ultimately sing the wisdom that you have to say about anger. We ask this in Jesus' name.
Amen. Alright, so. Proverbs 15, 18. A hot-tempered man stirs up strife. But he who is slow to anger quiets contention.
Alright, so that's one idea we're going to see throughout this. An uncontrolled man stirs up strife. They stir up mess. And their life and the life around them. And the ideal that is holed up is being slow to anger. That's the ideal that we would be.
Slow to anger. And then kind of the anchor passage for our morning is Proverbs 16, 32. Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty. And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city. That's what's upheld for us to strive after this morning. Is that we would be slow to anger.
In a way that it says that if you are slow to anger. You are mightier than one that takes down cities. Is what it's getting at. You're mightier than a conqueror. And that's difficult. That's what's being upheld here.
It's difficult to rule your spirit. It's easy to take down a city in comparison to being able to control your anger. So that's how hard it pictures for us. Controlling your anger. So I have three kids.
My youngest. She still looks like a baby because she doesn't have a lot of hair. But she is very firmly a toddler. She is in that stage. And when she gets angry. She gets beat right in the face.
And she throws her hands in the air. And she just screams. She yells across the house. Ah! And then she finds the couch. It's kind of her favorite spot.
And she just collapses into the couch. And just screams into the couch. And it's a little bit humorous. Our oldest. She sees it in laughs. We can't laugh at this.
It's going to reinforce the behavior. But it's. She has no. Listen. She's a toddler. She has no ability to be able to control what's happening inside her.
She hasn't gotten there yet. And there's a lot of really physical things that are happening inside of her when she gets angry. There's some physiological things that happen when you get angry. There's a nervous tension that starts to run through your body. Right? Your adrenaline spikes.
And your blood starts pumping. And you're on edge. You get alert. The muscles in your face and your chest start to tighten. Sometimes for some people their stomach starts to churn. And then blood starts to flow throughout your muscles.
For some people it flows to their face. That's why they get hot. Red. And face. There's a lot of physical things that are happening. They've done brain scans that show that part of your brain just lights up when you get angry.
It's a very physical. Natural. Response. And it happens. All in a matter of seconds. And for the one who cannot control their anger.
The physical takes over. And they act foolishly. Anger manifests itself physically. But it's also an emotion. And specifically it's the emotion of judgment. It's an emotion that arises out of a feeling of being wronged.
And the Bible has two kind of broad categories in how it speaks about anger. There is righteous anger that mirrors the Lord. And then there's unrighteous, uncontrolled anger that is sinful. Now, the Proverbs doesn't say a whole lot about the righteous anger category. It just doesn't. But I do want to highlight it here so we don't get confused.
Because there is an idea that there is this righteous anger. When it perfectly reflects God's anger, His wrath, that it's actually holy. Even though the Proverbs doesn't spend a lot of time on it. So let me quickly just highlight this for us. Righteous anger is a judgment that says this is not right. Righteous anger is a judgment that says this isn't right.
When Jesus is in the temple in John 2. And He sees the temple being used as a marketplace for greedy and corrupt places. He sees the house of worship being tainted with this kind of greed and corruption. There's a righteous anger, a zeal that rises up within Him. And it says in John 2, And making a whip of cords, which I don't know if you've ever made a whip of cords. I don't know if that's one of your hobbies.
But that takes some time. Right? He's making this whip of cords. They're slow to anger as He's getting ready to make action from His judgment. It says, So He's slow to anger. But He sees something that is not wrong.
And for righteousness' sake, He goes and He clears out the temple. So we see that anger in and of itself actually isn't sin. You can go to Ephesians 4, 26, which says, Be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger. It says, Be angry, but don't sin in your anger. So, if anger is an emotion, Alright?
And if it actually slowly rises out of a heart for justice or for God's righteousness, or for godly correction, for some categories that have to do with righteous anger, then you are in the clear. That you actually are honoring God. The problem is, is that 99% of the time, that's not how we get angry. It's just not us. And the Proverbs is basically speaking about uncontrolled anger. And they're capturing that idea.
So that is what we're going to spend the majority of our time this morning. It's how the Proverbs talks about this uncontrolled, sinful anger that is within us. And I'm going to walk through three different dangerous aspects of anger that the Proverbs upholds for us. So three different dangerous aspects. The first is uncontrolled anger is foolish. Uncontrolled anger is foolish.
Proverbs 14, verse 17 says, A man of quick temper Acts foolishly, and a man of evil devices is hated. Verse 29, it says, Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly. So, you may not be a person that throws their hands in the air and starts screaming across the house like a crazy person when you get angry. Right? Some of you may. We may need to talk after this.
But the majority of us, we don't act like a toddler when we get angry. But there are things that provoke in us anger. Maybe you're the kind of person that when you are driving and you get cut off in traffic, that there are colorful words and gestures that just flow from you when you get angry, all while repping a Mill City bumper sticker, which, thank you for being a bad witness. If you struggle with getting very angry, maybe take it off for a season, work on your anger, and then put it back on. Right? Maybe that's you.
Maybe when you are angry, you're the kind of person that hurls the cruelest insults you can. You hurl cruel insults at your wife, at your friends, at your roommates. There's this thing, this physical thing that takes over, and all of a sudden you would describe yourself maybe as, or others would describe you as hot-headed. The reality is that this is you. If you are hot-headed, if you act rashly when you get upset, if you have this category of uncontrolled anger that exhibits itself in flashbang fashion, it says you are foolish. The Bible has a category of foolishness and sin.
It says you're undisciplined. You lack self-control. You're unpredictable. You are dangerous in your words and actions. And the Proverbs and the rest of the Bible are going to uphold this ideal, this being slow to anger. And the reality is that being slow to anger is not natural to us.
It's not human. Actually, being slow to anger is godly. It's an attribute of the Lord. You see, when Moses is on the mountain in Mount Sinai, God comes and speaks to him. It's one of the more foundational passages about the character of God in the Old Testament. So God is surrounding the mountain, and he calls out to Moses.
It says in Exodus 34, The Lord passed before him and proclaimed, The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin. This idea that God describes himself is slow to anger. The rest of the scriptures uphold this. You can see it in Numbers 14, in 2 Chronicles 30, Nehemiah 9, Psalm 86. Actually, there's multiple places throughout the Psalms that uphold this idea that God is slow to anger. The God who knows the future and can see our sin and our rebellion thousands of years before we commit it is slow to anger and forbearing with us.
He is not hasty in his judgment. He is not quick to get angry. He is not quick to judge. Unlike us, his judgment is always sound. It is always perfect. We, on the other hand, are hasty in our judgment.
That is one of the core reasons that we get angry. We are quick to get angry because we believe that our judgment is sound. We believe we're right. Uncontrolled, sinful anger is ultimately our displeasure at how things are happening, at how we're treated at a more base level. We get angry when things don't go our way. And what happens in a moment is you basically have a kangaroo court for a mind.
When something makes you mad, in a moment's notice, you play judge, jury, executioner, like that. You have made the judgment. Someone has wronged you. Someone has done something that is wrong. And you are going to respond accordingly. We are hasty in our judgment.
And when we do this, when we make hasty judgments, when we respond in uncontrolled anger, we harm others. A few months back, one of my children was using our upstairs toilet and put too much toilet paper in and it overflowed. And when I found out about this, I responded with some uncontrolled anger. Just responded harshly to the situation. And it was foolishness for two different reasons. Firstly, my children are five, three, and one.
And goodness gracious, they make mistakes. But the reason that I was getting so upset was that when it overflowed, the water flowed into the subflooring and it went into the ceiling above our kitchen. And the reason why it was foolish is not just because I have young children, and it's understandable, but that might happen every now and then. We've been in the process. The second reason, we've been remodeling a house for the last year. And bit by bit, this has been a complete remodel.
And in that upstairs bathroom, like an idiot, I never sealed the toilet when we reset it. It was my fault. It was my fault that the water flowed under the toilet and into the ceiling. But I went up there, and in a hasty judgment, I overreacted. Not realizing that my children are going to make mistakes. Not realizing that it's actually my fault that the ceiling has a spot in it now.
We do this. And what happened out of that was, is that my child was afraid to flush the toilet for quite a while after that. It harms people around us when we make these hasty judgments. And if you're honest with yourself, you've been there. You've lived some version of that story where you saw a situation unfold, you reacted poorly in your anger, and out of your poor reaction, out of your sinful, hasty judgment, you harmed others. And the hope is, is that you have the humility enough to realize that, and can repent when it happens.
Hasty judgment. Hasty, quick to anger. This is foolishness. It says it's foolishness. Also dangerous anger. This uncontrolled anger.
The second thing is that it causes sin. Uncontrolled anger causes sin. Proverbs 29, 22. It says, A man of wrath stirs up strife, and one given to anger causes much transgression. It says, A man of wrath stirs up conflict. They stir up strife, and they cause sin.
That dangerous anger causes sin and stirs up strife in those around it. And the reality is, is we need to be able to picture this, what types of anger do this. I read in preparation for this this week, a book by David Pallison. He is a helpful counseling pastor. He was. He died a couple of years ago.
But he has a lot of very helpful books when it comes to Christian counseling. He has one on anger called Good and Angry. And if you struggle with anger, I encourage you to get on Amazon today and order it. Because it's a very helpful book. But he has some of these different categories of destructive anger, and how these categories harm and hurt others and those around you.
So I just want to walk through a few of them so we can see some of these destructive categories of anger. The first one is arguing. Maybe you're the type of person, when you get angry, you are going to argue. You are going to use your words as a weapon. You will out-argue anyone to win your way. So my wife and I get in arguments.
If I want to, I can win pretty much everyone. Before I was called to ministry, I thought about being a lawyer. So I can be pretty decent at arguments. My wife is not a wordsmith. She's just not. When she tries to get arguments sometimes, she says the wrong thing, and I find it very cute.
But the problem is, is that I can use that against her. I can win every argument. I can be domineering and go after it. But the reality is, is that that violates so many of the commands of Scripture. 1 Peter 3, 7 comes to mind. Live with your wife in an understanding way.
Showing honor to her. So at what cost, right? For those of you that argue, at what cost is it worth it to get one more dig in, to get one more argument in? At what cost to your roommates? At what cost to your friends? At what cost to your co-workers?
Is it worth it in your anger to lash out and argue? Maybe it's not arguing. Maybe it's irritability. It's the second category of anger that he gives. Now this can be, irritability can show up in a lot of different ways.
There's kind of two kind of spectrums of anger sometimes where it's hot anger or cold anger. Hot anger is the one that we're most familiar with, right? You get heated. It's, you know, it gets pretty quick, pretty fast. The other one's cold. It's subtle.
It's more of a, you give the cold shoulder. But you can be both of those when you're irritable. Maybe you're angry all the time and you're just irritable. You're grumpy. You're touchy. And everyone around you walks on eggshells.
Y'all, we've all known the relative that around Thanksgiving and Christmas time everyone's walking on eggshells around them trying not to say the wrong thing, making sure that they're okay, right? Maybe you're like, no, I don't have any relatives like that. All my relatives are annoying and cheerful. You found him. It's you. Look in the mirror.
But everyone is walking on eggshells around you because you're irritable and you're angry all the time. Maybe it's not irritability. Maybe it's bitterness. It's another category of anger. And this category actually does more destruction to yourself. That you've let grievances and grudges from years past just sit with you.
And like a cancer, bitterness is grown in your soul. And that anger has just eaten away at you. I mean, I've seen families. I've seen friendships. I've seen people that are just bitter. And they're not reconciled to their family or friends.
They've stayed mad for years. And it's just eaten away at their soul. As the proverb says, it causes much transgression. And it stirs up strife. Maybe it's not bitterness. Maybe it's this type of violent anger, violence.
Maybe when you're the type of person you get angry, you get violent. You are going to absolutely inflict pain on those who hurt you. You're going to get even. And that doesn't always have to be with your fist. But you have angry outbursts.
You're harsh, verbally abusive in your speech. It's violent. I remember the first time I slammed a door in our marriage. It was the first year of our marriage. Got an argument, slammed the door. my wife, who is loving and is sensitive. It hurt her.
Not realizing that this kind of violent outbursts, it harms those around you. Hear what the proverb we read earlier says. It is easier to conquer a city. It is much harder to control your anger. If you're the type of person that has violent outbursts, you need to grow in this. Your anger hurts those around you.
Give you one more category of destructive anger. Self-righteous anger. Maybe if this is the type of anger that you swim in, maybe you're the kind of person that loves to say, I told you so. I told you. You should listen to me. And it comes out in this really angry, vindictive speech.
Maybe the kind of person that when you get angry at those who don't follow the rules and you're sniping at those who don't follow the rules. Maybe you're the kind of person that gets angry that people don't dress a certain way, they don't look a certain way. Maybe the kind of person that gets angry when people don't use the same kind of politically correct updated phrasing. Maybe the kind of person that gets mad on Facebook and you troll Facebook and Instagram and Twitter, whatever you use just to get in arguments with people because there's this self-righteousness within you that makes you want to lash out at others.
These are just a few different categories of destructive anger. And the reality is is when you engage in this type of anger that comes from these quick hasty judgments, you hurt people. You hurt those around you. You hurt the people that you love most around you. Destructive anger causes sin, but also the third aspect I want us to see from the Proverbs is that uncontrolled anger spreads. Uncontrolled anger spreads.
Proverbs 22, 24, through 25 says, Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare. It says the ways of a wrathful man are both infectious and they're deadly. They ensnare those around them. You set traps for those around you that they might fall into anger with you. A few months back, I saw my son. He's my middle child.
And he got angry and he growled. He went, Arr! And I was like, Man, must have gotten that from his mama. I was like, No. No, that's definitely learned behavior. That kid gets a lot of things honestly from me.
A lot of things honestly. Looks like me, has mannerisms like me, but that was learned behavior because he's seen me do house projects. He's seen me realizing that I'm going to have to go back to Lowe's for a fourth time. He's seen that. I'm just like, Arr! And when I saw it happen, I went, Oh.
Oh, yeah. He picked that up from me. What type of destructive anger are you imparting to your children for those of you that have kids? What kind of patterns are they seeing? Right? This is a classic excuse where it's like, Oh, I grew up in an Italian family.
We're just, Wow, that's what we do. Sure. That's generations of uncontrolled anger. You could just accept that as a reality and impart that to your kid and your kid one day will be an angry, sometimes violent, sometimes abusive, husband, wife, friend, co-worker. Or you can decide to break the cycle and be different. You can decide to impart some wisdom to your child by learning how to control your anger yourself and not impart that to your kids.
It's infectious in so many ways. Maybe you've been in a community group before where someone's just angry about something. And they're angry and then all of a sudden what happens? They stir up more anger, right? Sin begets sin, right? Sin spreads.
It grows. And then all of a sudden someone else is angry about something. And then you just got an angry group. Maybe you're in a household where you have roommates that they're just angry. And what happens? They get angry about something and someone else gets angry and then all of a sudden you have a household that's just cold.
And it's not fun at all. Anger, it just, it spreads amongst us. So uncontrolled anger is foolish. It causes sin. And that sin spreads. We have to absorb that this destructive, uncontrolled anger is dangerous.
It harms us and it harms those around us. And we have to stop. We have to repent. We have to change. But the reality is is that you won't repent.
You won't change until you understand that our sinful, uncontrolled anger, until you understand that in light of the righteous anger of God. The second thing I want us to see this morning is the fulfillment of wrath. We will not fully understand how destructive and how fallen our anger is until we understand it in light of the righteous wrath of God. which I know is a subject matter that is not popular. But the Bible upholds it and for good reason. First off, we need to understand that God is a perfect and righteous judge. Read that passage from Exodus 34 that talks about the character of God?
It continues in verse 7. It says, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty. We have to see this. You have to see the just and patient anger and wrath of God. You have to understand this from the Bible, that God has anger towards injustice. God has anger towards sin.
We are creation and He is the Creator. And as creation, we rebel against Him. We reject His good design for this world. We choose and run after our own sin, our own idolatry, and we shake our fist at God. I mean, if you could create something out of nothing and that creation rebelled against you, hated you, turned its back on you, you would be just in your righteous judgment to bring judgment, to bring wrath. The Bible upholds this very clearly.
And you want this. You don't want a God that turns a blind eye to injustice. You don't want a God that turns a blind eye to the more extreme, which would be genocide. You don't want that. But you don't want a God who turns a blind eye to the husband who beats his wife.
No, we want a God of justice. As Westerners, we don't like this. The rest of the world that experiences injustice on a much more grand scale, as Christians, they long for the justice of God. They wouldn't worship a God who does not bring wrath towards injustice, who does not right every wrong. We have to believe this. You have to fully know this, that in his righteous judgment he brings wrath.
But he's slow to do it. He's slow to anger. We don't understand this because sometimes when we read the Bible you see someone sins against God then God strikes them down. But we don't realize that God is eternal. He sees this coming for thousands of years in advance. And he forbears with us still.
He is slow to anger. We don't understand the scope of how God's wrath works. How long it is. How forbearing it is. We are not God. We are unable to judge like him.
He is a righteous judge. But we also get to see that he is a merciful and gracious judge. And how he overlooks offenses. And that finally makes so much beautiful and perfect sense when you get to the cross. When you get to the cross and you realize that that cross was meant for us. That that judgment was meant for us.
But Jesus absorbs that. He goes to the cross for us. That God takes our place on the cross for our sins and absorbs the wrath that was diverted from us to him. Once you see that you understand he fulfills what Proverbs 19 teaches. Proverbs 19 says good sense makes one slow to anger and it is as glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 10 says hatred stirs up strife but love covers all offenses.
Jesus perfectly fulfills this. The only one that does not deserve judgment. He takes it in our place and by his blood and by his love it covers our offenses. It covers our transgressions. When you understand the cost of what it took with Jesus on the cross in our place. When you understand that we deserve wrath and then when you flip to the end of the story and you get to the book of Revelation and you read that one day Jesus will come back as the righteous judge and he will right every wrong then you can really begin to absorb this.
There's a Croatian theologian. His name is Miroslav Volf. He says this the certainty of God's just judgment at the end of history is the presupposition for the renunciation of violence in the middle of it. That's pretty jam-packed as a phrase. But what he's getting at is that the certainty that one day Jesus will come back and he will judge all things.
That forms the basis by which we who are in the middle of the story respond. That we don't have to result to violence in the middle of the story because one day Jesus comes back and he's going to judge all things. Once you firmly believe that that Jesus will come back and he will judge all things that we in our anger don't have to sin. We don't have to be the ones who judge others. We don't have to bring this hasty judgment. We can rest in the fact that one day the judge will come back and he will right every wrong.
That is a comfort to those who are hurting. That our judge will come back and when you firmly believe this it is then that you can actually not just control your anger but you can show mercy and you can show forgiveness. So you have to understand the fulfillment of wrath. You have to understand that we deserve wrath that God has wrath towards injustice towards sin. You have to understand that Jesus died in our place on the cross and that one day he is going to come back and wrath will be fulfilled when all things are made new. Once you understand that then you can begin to get practical and learn how to rule your anger.
And that is the last thing I want us to see today. To learn how to practically rule our anger. Proverbs 16.32 says whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city. That's the ideal. That we would be slow to anger having all that theological back where we just went through. Having that in the back of your mind.
We'd be slow to anger and in our anger that we would be slow and that we would rule ultimately our spirit. That's the ideal. That you would rule that you would control your spirit your anger. Now how do you practically do that? I have a very practical first step to physically slow yourself down. There's a lot of physiological things that are happening when you get angry.
One of the things I've taught before I think I've taught on a Sunday I know I teach this in counseling is the idea of breathing. Alright? Of deep breathing. When the physical anger is starting to rise within you you need to learn how to slow yourself down. How to practically calm yourself down. Because all that theology, all the philosophy, all the things you have in the back of your mind is going to be really hard when you get worked up and your adrenaline spikes.
So I teach people when they're getting worked up to put their hand on their diaphragm right here and to learn to slowly deep breathe. What happens when you do that is it slows your pulse down which was spiked from adrenaline. It floods your brain with oxygen which helps you be a more sound judge. It makes you be more rational. To actually slow yourself down that is an easy first step to rule your spirit. You've got to understand the physical nature of what happens when you get angry and then slow yourself down.
After you've slowed yourself down I have some questions for you to think through. Now these questions are best in the moment. It's best to think about these when you're slow to anger not after you've gotten angry and done something that's foolish. But if you're like me and you step into trouble and you've acted foolishly in your anger you can do an anger autopsy after the fact. It's important and I'm dead serious to actually think through why is it that I got so angry. So I have some questions and this is important.
There are times when I'm angry and my wife and I get in some type of argument and she's like why are you so mad? And I'm like I don't know but I need some time to figure this out and I'll get back to you. And she does. She's loving it. She gives me the space. It's helpful to have space to be able to figure this out.
So I have some questions for you to think through. And I'm going to give you a case study for how to think through this. I found one very easily this week on Tuesday when I was taking my oldest to school. So my oldest has been late, I don't know, like five times the last two weeks of school. For various reasons she's been late. And I was like no, we're finishing up the school year, she's not going to be late.
And all of a sudden on Tuesday one thing led to another. We got out the house and we were late. And on the way to driving her to school, I'm just gripping the steering wheel and I'm mad, I'm flying down the road in a Prius y'all, just all the way down Highway 1. I'm like why, and then I was like why am I so mad about this? Why am I so angry? So I didn't, I obviously didn't win the battle beforehand, had to do an angry autopsy afterwards.
So here are three questions I had to work through this week for when you get angry or after the fact that you need to process. All right, first question. When you got upset, what did you want? What did you want? Why does the thing that you're angry about matter so much? What did you want?
I had to ask myself that this week. So I'm thinking about why did I get so angry because we're late to school. A few different reasons popped up. It's like well I'm a scheduled person. I'm a routine person. I like things to go in, you know, I like things to be in order.
This is out of order. It's frustrating. And it's like also I don't want to get an email from her teacher this week about her being late to school. And I was like okay, that's why I'm upset. All right, second question.
What are you afraid of? You're building off these questions together. What are you afraid of? And it's like ugh, I don't know. I don't like my schedule to be off kilter. That's a thing.
I also, I really don't like the shame of someone saying hey, you're parenting bad. Get your kid to school on time. You know? I don't like the eyes of someone who's like oh yeah, your child's in here for the fifth time in two weeks. Right? I was like okay, that's what I'm afraid of.
All right. Third question. What does that reveal about where your hope is? That is the big one. That's going to get the sin beneath the sin. And it's like okay, what does that reveal about where my hope is?
What do I truly want? What's going on underneath the surface? And I was like oh, okay. I know myself. I know I have control idolatry. It's a deep idol for me.
I know I have approval idolatry. That's also a deep idol for me. So part of this is I'm controlling and I like to have my schedule work out. And when things get out of whack, it's not going well for me. But that's part of the reason.
Here's the core reason. I have some approval idolatry. And I ultimately want to be a parent that has a child who shows up on time. I grew up all the time and was late to everything. I want to be different. I want to be able to present my child as we're a responsible family.
I'm a responsible parent. Approve of me. And ultimately, it's not about her at all. It's not about being on time at all. Ultimately, it's about me. And once you get to the sin beneath the sin, you've worked through these questions, you can start to understand why you are angry.
It is best to stop in the moment, slow yourself down, to do some deep breathing, and to pause in the moment and figure it out. But at the fact, you need to be able to ask these questions. When you've understood, understood, when you've understood how our sin works, and how we are just bad Judges, and how we're quick to this uncontrolled anger, when you've examined the hidden motives underneath the surface, you've done the tough work, with the backdrop of the fulfillment of wrath and what we know about God, and how our unrighteous, uncontrolled wrath looks in light of the wrath of God. When you do the tough, soul work of working through this, it is then that you can begin to believe the gospel.
It is then you can apply the gospel to yourself, it is when you can apply it to others, it is then you can be the kind of person that the Proverbs describes you. You can be one who is mightier than those who conquer cities. You can do the most difficult thing and rule your spirit. You can be the kind of person that your friends need, who's not flying off the handle, who's not cold and bitter. You can be the kind of person that your roommates need, you can be the kind of person that your wife and kids need, that your husband and children need. You can be the kind of person that rules his or her spirit because you've done the tough work, you've learned to be a self-controlled man or woman, and you've sought to honor God and the way that you go about life, not being hasty to judge, not being quick to be angry, but being a self-controlled man or woman that honors God and the way that you live your life, for the glory of God and for the good of others.
Wisdom and Parenting (Proverbs 3:1-8, 11-12)
Use this guide to help your group discussion as you meet this week.
Transcript
Of the gospel. It's in Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Well, good morning. It's good to see you. Good to see you all this morning.
Grab your Bibles. Go to Proverbs chapter 3. My name is Chet. I'm one of the pastors here. We are working our way through the book of Proverbs. The book of Proverbs is a bit different from other books in the scriptures.
It is a lot of proverbial sayings, a lot of collections of wisdom. And as we go through this, we're going to take some things topically where we just kind of say, okay, what does the Proverbs have to say about this subject? Because they're all over the place. So usually when we work through a book, we're working through verse by verse, line by line. If you did that in the Proverbs, you'd be all over the place. And so we're trying to collect some wisdom together to look at it.
It's also a very practical book. Rather than just dealing with the theology of who God is and what he's done or kind of telling us history of God in the world, it's saying in general, this is how God has designed the world to work. It's dealing with what is most likely to happen. There are always exceptions to the rule, but the book of Proverbs is giving the general rules in a lot of ways. It's saying this is kind of how life is meant to work. And most often, this is how it will play out.
And therefore, it's a very practical book. It says in light of who God is, here's what we do. So this morning, we're going to talk about parenting. We're going to see what the book of Proverbs has to say about parenting. Now, even as we begin that, I need to address some different people in the room. Some of you are parents.
You're parents of children of all different ages. We have parents who have adult children that have moved out. And as we talk through this, there may be some areas where you feel pride or shame. And I would encourage you to continue to believe the gospel, which is that your shame is real. Your pride is real. And both of them are to be taken to the cross.
And so that we would walk away from our pride and trust the Lord. And we would walk away from shame and guilt that we feel and trust the Lord. Some of you don't have children. You might be tempted to check out. But as we see this, as we walk through this, we're actually going to see that looking at parenting gives us a good understanding of how God treats us.
And how God interacts with those who belong to him. And so it's helpful for all of us. Some of you are parents. And so I would encourage you to listen and to listen well and to humble yourselves to try to hear what the Proverbs have to say. And all of us may be tempted to go, I'm so glad these other people are here. So that they can learn about how to raise their children.
And just so you know, that will be a temptation throughout the book of Proverbs for you to go, good. Look around the room. Are we talking about women? Okay, yeah, here we go. Good. Like, that's bad for your soul.
That's what Pharisees do. Pharisees hear the word of God and think about how it applies to other people rather than how it applies to them. And so I would encourage you to fight that. But we're going to look at parenting today from the Proverbs. We're going to spend most of our time in chapter 3, but we will jump around and we'll put those on the screen. I remember my first son was born six years ago.
You go to the hospital. You have the baby. I mean, I don't. But I was there. Still traumatizing experience for me. Then they just give you the baby and send you home like you're ready to take care of this thing.
There's no real instructions other than don't shake it. And that's it. They make you watch a video, sign a certificate, and they just send you home. And it's stressful. I remember going to the grocery store and just feeling overwhelmed that we had to take this thing and keep it safe and help it grow. And I just was in the grocery store and I just remember walking around and being like, I don't know if I can handle this.
And then I just began to look at the people around me and I thought, well, they all used to be babies. And they made it. I looked at one guy and I was like, I bet his parents were idiots. Wasn't really based off of what he looked like, but I was really tired. I was just making myself feel better. But the truth is, children grow up.
And that's part of what the Proverbs wants us to see. That you are training and equipping and helping them grow into something. And whether you're doing this intentionally or unintentionally, you're doing this. You're training, equipping them, turning them into something. And so the Proverbs is going to help us know how to go about this. What we're supposed to train them into.
What we're supposed to pull them into. And then some basic practical tips on as we do this. Some tools to help us do it. So let's pray and then we'll look at this together. God, we thank you that your word gives us wisdom here. There are a lot of competing bits of wisdom when it comes to how to raise children.
From what we read to what people have told us. To what we see other families doing. To what our moms and dads and grandparents tell us that we ought to do. Or that they did with us. And we just pray, Lord, as we study the word. That we would grow in practical wisdom on how to parent.
And that we would grow in a gracious understanding of how you treat us. Through Christ. Through Christ. In love. As you father us. And so we thank you and we praise you in Jesus' name.
Amen. Proverbs 3 says, My son, do not forget my teaching. But let your heart keep my commandments. For length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you. So we're kind of looking sideways at this.
There are going to be some direct commands to parents. But right now we're just looking at a parent addressing a son and saying, Don't forget my teaching. Let your heart keep my commandments. And there's a basic assumption here that I think we need to address. The Proverbs believe that children have parents for a reason. I watched a bit of a nature documentary.
And there were these eggs that hatched and these lizards popped out. And they had like 10 seconds to orient themselves to the world before snakes were trying to eat them. That was it. 10 seconds. Hope you like the world. Put your big boy pants on.
Time to go. I told you this a second ago. But I have a child that we've had for 6 years. He's not even remotely close to ready. That lizard had 10 seconds. But the reason God gives children to parents on purpose.
Children need parents. They need teaching and commandment. They need training. There's this current philosophy that you have an inner child. That you were born pure and good. And that the world messed you up.
Your parents messed you up. Society messed you up. People imposed things on you. And so that the role of parents now is to protect the child. But then to stay out of the child's way.
To help the child find themselves. And blossom into whatever they're going to be. Well Proverbs tells us what they're going to be. Fools. Proverbs 22 15 says. Folly is bound up in the heart of a child.
But the rod of discipline drives it far from him. Proverbs 29 15 says. The rod and reproof. To a form of corporal punishment. And we'll get to that later. And reproof.
Which is verbal correction. Give wisdom. But a child left to himself. Bring shame to his mother. That we are to train and equip. Proverbs 22 6 says.
Train up a child. In the way he should go. Even when he's old. He will not depart from it. That we're to train children. That we're to be taking them somewhere.
That we're to be equipping them. And moving them in a direction. That they need help to get there. And then it says this. We're to train them. We're to help develop them.
And send them out. That they need parents for a reason. And then it says that they may go. That part of the purpose behind parenting. Is that your children would go. And some of you have teenagers.
And you're like yes and amen. Go. My mom said the Lord made teenagers annoying on purpose. So that you'd be ready for them to leave. No need for amens on that. Just keep it to yourself.
But that part of what we're doing in parenting. Is equipping and training them to go. We're helping them grow. I went with my dad to his. He was in his garden. And he was showing me what he had planted.
And he said. This is lettuce. Those tomatoes. Those cucumbers. He didn't say. That's a little green thing.
That's a little. Some sort of leafy green thing. That's a leafy green thing. They were. There was no cucumbers or tomatoes there. There was going to be cucumbers and tomatoes there.
But he knew. What he was growing. And so some of us need to realize. I have. I have a three-year-old. And a six-year-old.
Little boys. I'm not raising little boys. I have little boys. I'm raising men. I'm helping equip and train them. To send them out into the world.
So there's a little chart that. I drew up. I hope this is helpful. This chart is not a joke. You have responsibility on this side. The blue line is the parent.
The red line is the child. And this is time. At the very beginning of life. The parent has all the responsibility. Or 90% of the responsibility. Like when they're first born.
The parent is solely responsible for the life of this child. I have a. I have a two and a half year old. Three year old. He every once in a while go. Ma.
Milk. Okay. He cannot go to the store and purchase milk. He cannot. Once we've done this. Get it out of the refrigerator.
If I got the thing out of the refrigerator. And handed it to him. He could not pour it into a cup. Most of the responsibility is on us. The one bit of responsibility we've given him. Is repeat after me.
May I please. Have some milk. Because ma. Milk. Isn't getting milk. But then.
We keep going. The child gets a little bit older. And you start. The child has more responsibility. More ability to make decisions. Maybe they still have a bedtime.
And maybe. They get to choose kind of their haircut. But it's inside of a range. They get to choose. Kind of how they're going to dress. But.
No young lady. You are not leaving the house in that outfit. She found a guard rail. There was something you'd put up. That was like. No.
We've reached the level. Where my responsibility comes back in. And no thank you. Go back upstairs. Like. But you're equipping.
And training them. So that when they become. When it's time to send them out. It keeps going. But by the time it's time to send them out.
They're ready. They have the responsibility. To handle going out. Now some of you. You've been in life. You've seen this.
You watched parents. Who gave way too much responsibility. To the child. Way too early. 10 and 11 year olds. Getting to make.
Too many decisions. And there's foolishness. In their heart. And so they're making. The decisions. That a 10 and 11 year old.
Would make. And we've also seen. Parents who. Held on to this. Way too long. So that they had someone.
That they had been. Completely responsible for. Until it was like. 17, 18. And they sent him out. Into the world.
And that person. Had never had. The ability to make. All these decisions. And it was. It was too much.
Another way to think about this. Is. You're always walking. The tension between. Safe and strong. Am I making my child safe.
Or am I making my child strong. You start off. Leaning real hard. On safe. But by the time.
You're sending them out. You need to have made them strong. And so this is. General. We're training them up. So that they might.
Go. It keeps going. He says. Verse 3. Let not steadfast love. And faithfulness.
Forsake you. Bind them around your neck. Write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor. And good success. In the sight of God.
And man. I love verse 4. So that you will find favor. And good success. In the sight of God. And man.
He started off with. Remember my teaching. And my commandment. Remember the coaching I gave you. The things that I taught you. About the world.
And remember the rules I gave you. The commandments I gave you. The structure we put around you. And then he gets to here and says. Or she does. We don't know.
It just says my son. So you will find favor. And good success. In the sight of God and man. Oh I hope that's true. For how I raise my sons.
I hope I can look at them. And say hey. If you follow what I told you. If you listen to me. And the rules. And the commands I gave you.
And the wisdom I gave you. You'll find favor. And good success. In the sight of God. And man. That the purpose behind parenting.
As we train and equip them. Is for their good. Parents this is important. It's not for your good. It's not for what's easiest right now. That often is in direct contradiction.
To what is good for the child. It's not for what I most like. So whether or not they're embarrassing me. Or getting on my nerves. It's what is good for them. That if they follow this.
They'll have favor with God. And man. Let's look. At the favor with God part. The favor with man part first. The favor with God comes first.
We're going to spend a little more time on it. But we're going to do the favor with man first. There's this idea. That you would go and have favor with man. Part of the reason you're raising your children. Is you want them to be able to go keep a job.
Have relationships. Communicate clearly to people. Have boundaries. Be able to have real friendships. That can last through something. Learn how to argue.
Learn how to control their anger. You want them to have favor. And good success with humanity. This does not mean. That they would base their whole life off. Of whether or not people like them.
You're not teaching them. That the approval of people around them. Is what they set their hope on. But you are teaching them. To live around other humans. That's part of what we're supposed to do.
There's a clinical psychiatrist. We're going to read two quotes from him today. His name is Jordan Peterson. And he's just approaching this. Very practical. His philosophy behind parenting.
Is you help them fit into society. And I think this quote is helpful. He says this. He says. You shouldn't have a ton of rules for your children. But here are some suggestions on things you should teach them.
Do not bite. Kick. Or hit. Except in self-defense. Do not torture and bully other children. So you don't end up in jail.
Eat in a civilized and thankful manner. So that people are happy to have you at their house. And pleased to feed you. Learn to share. So other kids will play with you.
Pay attention when spoken to by adults. So that they don't hate you. And might therefore deign to teach you something. Go to sleep properly and peaceably. So that your parents can have a private life.
And not resent your existence. Take care of your belongings. Because you need to learn how. And because you're lucky to have them. Be good company when something fun is happening. So you're invited for the fun.
Act or behave. So that other people are happy you're around. So that people will want you around. He says a child who knows these rules. Will be welcome everywhere. Now the responsibility of that.
Is on the parent. Not the child. And part of the way you're gracious to your child. Is that you train them. So that the rest of the world smiles at them.
And enjoys them. Because it's not a child's fault. If everybody in their life looks at them like this. Because they hadn't been taught. You want to send them out into the world. Where you've equipped them.
To be able to fit in. Now that's not the sole goal. But that's a helpful thought. That you would help move them. Into a world where they can have favor with God. And man as they get older.
This is learning how to keep a job. Learning how to work. Learning how to labor. Learning how to keep your mouth shut. Learning when to speak. When not to speak.
Learning not to domineer a conversation. You're helping train and equip them. Which takes constant teaching. And correction. It takes commandments and wisdom. Which means you need to know wisdom.
As parents we need to grow. So that what we're teaching our children. Makes sense and is helpful. Is biblical and godly. He says this. He says that you'd have favor with God.
And man. He keeps going. He says trust in the Lord with all your heart. Do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him. And he will make your.
Make straight your path. This idea that you would have favor with God. That you would know God. That you would enjoy God. That he would bless and work in your life. And he says trust in him.
With all your heart. See as parents. You need to know the Lord. So that this just pours out of you. So that you can say with credibility.
Trust in the Lord. Lean not on your own understanding. Because they've seen this. Enacted and lived out. That's what Deuteronomy 6 gets at. Where it says that.
When you rise in the morning. When you sit down to eat. When you walk in the way. When you go to bed. That you would teach your children. About the Lord.
That it would be the normal part of life. That it wouldn't be set aside. For a certain part of the day. Yes you can have intentional time. Where you set aside. We're going to read a Bible story.
We're going to talk. We're going to pray together. But that you would so know the Lord. That this pours out of you. As you walk in life with them. That you would train them.
To trust in the Lord. With all their heart. That they might grow to love the Lord. And isn't this what you would want. As a Christian parent. That you would walk with your children.
And help easily transition them. Into walking with the Lord. That that would be the hope. Now again. This doesn't always work out. The way we want it.
That train of the child. And the way they should go. And when they're old. They won't depart from it. As a general rule. It's something to be aimed at.
But it doesn't necessarily work out that way. We also get in the Proverbs. That fools don't listen to their parents. So the parent was saying stuff. The father was giving instruction. But they wouldn't hear it.
But this is the hope. It says. Be not wise in your own eyes. Fear the Lord. And turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh.
And refreshment to your bones. Do you model that for your children? That you're not wise in your own eyes. That you fear the Lord. And that you turn away from evil. That you turn away from sin.
That you repent in your sin. And that you help walk them towards the Lord. Jump down to verse 11. It says. My son. Do not despise the Lord's discipline.
Or be weary of his reproof. For the Lord reproves him whom he loves. As the father, the son, in whom he delights. There's this picture of the way God treats us. And the way parents are to treat their children. I don't know if you know this.
But parents. You work as a functional stand in for God. Your children cannot understand the concept of God. When they are young. They are growing. You are trying to teach them.
But you are functionally standing in that place. So that they can understand this. And if you have grown older. And you have begun to follow the Lord. You know this. Because some of you had very distant.
Cold. Aggressive fathers. Distant. Cold. Aggressive mothers. And it was hard to pray to the Lord.
It was hard to understand how he would react to you in your sin. Some of you had overly encouraging parents. And it was hard to see how God could be strict against sin. When you had been taught that freedom was the primary goal of life. And we had to grow in this. But the hope as parents is that we would walk with the Lord.
And walk with our children. That we would hold their hand until it was time to hand their hand to Jesus. And then we'd be able to say like this one says. Go. And if you follow the Lord this will be good. But it says the Lord reproves those whom he loves.
The way a father does a son he delights in. God's correction of you. Don't miss this. God's correction and conviction of you is because he loves you. Thank God he loves you enough. To not let you feel okay with your sin.
To press you on it. To tell you to repent. And to when you won't repent. Get you caught. Because he loves and pursues delight. So he says don't despise the Lord's discipline.
Or be weary of his reproof. And those are two tools. This idea of correction and guidance. That parents have an idea of where they're taking their children. And that we're walking with them in correction and guidance. And so I want to see.
That's our goal. To have children that grow up. Love the Lord. And exist in the world well. That's a good basic goal. That they have favor and good success with God and man.
That you're taking them to that place. Where they're ready to do that. And the way that you get there. Is discipline and reproof. Correction. Teaching.
Commandment. Discipline does not just mean the negative side of it. It does not just mean. A switch. It also means the general guardrails. And the general structure of life.
That helps pull somebody in the right direction. So we're going to spend the next little bit of our time. If that's the goal. We're going to look at some of the tools. And some of the ways that this is supposed to work. So godly discipline has direction.
We've been talking about this. But that's a general rule that you need to understand. If you're going to raise children with godly discipline. You have direction. You have something you're working them towards. And you have things you're working them away from.
And in some ways. There's a map towards good relationship to the Lord. Good relationship in the world. Able to exist and function in the world. And you're trying to cut off certain avenues. To help get them that way.
It's intentional for their good. This is what God's doing. Where he corrects us and pulls us towards good. And so you need to have a general idea. If you have daughters. Of what a godly woman looks like.
A general picture in your mind. Of what life should look like for them. What they need to be prepared for in the world. How they need to act. And you need to gain a lot of this from scripture. And you can gain this from wisdom from people around you.
But then you help. This is where I'm trying to take you. If you have sons. What do godly men look like? What do they need to be prepared to do? And to handle?
Where are we going? And you can do short term ones. One of the basic. Very basic beginning steps here. Is that good behavior gets good results. And bad behavior gets bad results.
That's how life works. But that's a really good simple rule. For your understanding of how to interact with your children. Especially small children. But on up.
Good behavior gets good results. Bad behavior gets bad results. I want my family to be able to go eat in restaurants. Which means. The first three to five times. You take a child to a restaurant.
It is no fun at all. Not fun for anybody. But we're going to get to where we can go eat in a restaurant. So let me give you an example. Good behavior gets good results. Bad behavior gets bad results.
You have a child that's functioning like a terrorist. In a high chair. It's really what they're doing. They're going to see who's going to win. And just so you all know. And this just gives you encouragement.
Parents with young children. 30 minutes to you. Is like a week and a half to a toddler. You can win. They're going to give out eventually. And they may just fall asleep.
But you can win this. But if you have a child that's in a high chair. And they're throwing a fit. And they're screaming and hollering or whatever. And you're getting embarrassed. Because you brought a child here to now.
Not only terrorize your family. But everybody who's in this restaurant. Which I would encourage you to start out at McDonald's. Because you're getting what you pay for at McDonald's. Go to McDonald's. Go to Taco Bell.
Teach a kid how to sit in a high chair. Don't go to, you know. Downtown to like Ruth's Chris or something. If I take the child out of the high chair. And outside while they're screaming. And then set them down.
And let them run around in the grass. That is a reward. I just taught the child. If you're in a high chair. And you don't want to be. Scream.
And you'll get a reward. So if I pick a child up. And we're going outside. That's going to be unpleasant for that child. I want them to learn. The high chair is better.
And I talk to them. And explain that we're going back in there. They're going to sit back down. They're going to calm themselves down. And we're going to enjoy our meal. And yes.
You talk to children that can't talk. They understand way more of what's going on. Before they're able to articulate things. So you explain to them. You go back in. You set them back in the chair.
And I do this over and over again. Until finally they learn. There's never a time where I go out there. And it gets delightful. And so that's a sample. But you do this.
You have a picture of where you're going. I can remember being young. I was like 11 or something. And I think it was a roller coaster. I know I was freaking out about something. I didn't want to do.
And I had gotten scared. And I was just like. I can't. I don't know. I can't. I can't do this.
And my dad. He didn't grab me and say. Roller coasters are fun. You need to be able to learn how to ride a roller coaster. He didn't look at me and say. This is fine.
If you're scared. You can stop. Now I'm sure some parents have done that. And I'm not saying this is wrong. I'm saying my dad had a picture in his head. Of where he was taking me.
And he did this my entire life. He grabbed me and looked at me. And said. Let me explain something to you. Are you scared? Yes.
Okay. Well you have to learn how to control yourself. In the midst of your fear. Because one day. You're going to have a family. And you're going to have children.
You're going to wake up in the middle of the night. And your house is going to be on fire. And you're going to be scared. Now are you going to freak out. And say I can't handle this. Or are you going to go save your children?
I rode that roller coaster. I rode that roller coaster. To save my future unborn children. Now am I a hero? Maybe. He did this in all earnestness.
He was not trying to manipulate me. He had in his picture of a place that he was taking me. And he did this all the time with us. He had in his head. I want you to be able to control your fear. And be able to move and act.
He wanted me to grow up. And I've learned at some point. If I follow this man and keep doing what he's doing. If I listen to him and obey. Eventually I'll be able to hold down a job. I'll be able to fight a dog.
I'll be able to handle. Like he's going to train me. Be able to pick up a snake. Whatever. Like he's going to coach me up on things to do in life. Do you need a picture in your head?
And you need to help your children get there. So godly discipline has direction. Godly discipline is loving. Godly discipline is loving. That you do this because you love your children. Proverbs 13 24 says.
Whoever spares the rod hates his son. But he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. Now culturally this feels backwards to us. So we've got to take just a second to talk this out. Whoever spares the rod hates his son. But whoever loves him is diligent to discipline him.
And that word rod means rod. But there's a caveat. I'm going to explain in a second. But it does mean rod. Proverbs 26 3 says. A whip for the horse.
A bridle for the donkey. And a rod for the back of fools. They came to people. They didn't do as much with jails. You did something. They hit you with a stick.
It says that it helps. The Proverbs tells us this is good for people. It also functions in the way that the New Testament talks about the government has the sword. This is a helpful thing to understand. The government has the sword. Which means the government has the military.
The government has the ability to enforce the regulations that it gives us. It does not mean that the government always uses the sword. Yeah I was late on my taxes. So the IRS stabbed me. That's not how it works. But I know that if I keep pressing I can get to the sword.
And so when it talks about that parenting has the rod. It means this rod of discipline is up to and including a rod. Whatever is necessary until you get there. Some of you have very well mannered calm children. A stern look works. Snapping your finger works.
They sit right back down. They didn't want to disappoint you. I have two sons. One of them. A little bit of aggression towards him. Just like sit down.
It works. My older son growled at me on a regular basis. It didn't work. He's like oh you're going to snap your finger? Fine. I can throw a train.
Now what? So it means do what works. Now there's this tendency to say well we've seen studies. Studies show that this is harmful. Studies show that if parents spank their children it makes them aggressive. I spent some time researching this.
If this is a thing that you want to talk about I'd love to talk with you more about it. I can't give it a ton of time. I will tell you this. There is disagreement about that. Both in how the studies were handled. And in general whether or not this is helpful.
Amongst professionals. There's a lot of articles that go back and forth. And if you get on like the American Association of Psychology. Psychology there's a bunch of information going back and forth about how this should be handled. Some of the things is that there's a correlation versus causation when they do these studies. So correlation versus causation.
Causation means you do this therefore this happens. Correlation means we see these two things held together. So if you said there's a link between sadness and alcohol abuse. That does not tell us whether or not alcohol abuse makes you sad. Or being sad makes you abuse alcohol. Like I just said I have two sons.
I've done my own study. There is a link between aggression and being spanked. There just there is in my house. It's not necessarily that spanking made one aggressive. It just is. It doesn't necessarily prove that.
Now it could. But there's some. The studies are still out on this. There's also a thing about magnitude. Which is how big of a deal. I read an article that said that studies show that corporal punishment increases the rate of when children grow up in mental disorders and abuse of different substances.
And so I clicked on the links and went all the way through. And the study when it said corporal punishment included it was children who had on a regular basis had been slapped, pinched, pushed, jerked, shaken, spanked. And it was like that's a huge category. That's a whole different thing than just what the Proverbs is talking about here. If you think for one second after reading the book of Proverbs which calls us to be thoughtful. Be measured.
Be wise. Be calm. Control your anger. Keep your mouth shut when you're upset. Think things through. If you think for a second that it all of a sudden went oh wait wait wait wait wait.
Not when you're parenting. Get a stick and go to town. Shout, shake, slap, pinch. Whatever you got to do. Beat the snot out of those children. You've missed probably.
It's not saying that. It is saying reasoned, measured, gracious discipline for the sake of joy and life and hope for them. I want to read a quote quickly from Jordan Peterson about this. When he talks about magnitude he says, What about the idea, he's a clinical psychiatrist, that hitting a child merely teaches them to hit? First, no, wrong. Too simple.
For starters, hitting is a very unsophisticated word to describe the disciplinary act of an effective parent. If hitting accurately described the entire range of physical force, then there would be no difference between rain droplets and atom bombs. Magnitude matters. So does context. If we're not being willfully blind and naive about the issue. How hard someone is hit, why they are hit, cannot merely be ignored when speaking of hitting.
Timing, which is part of context, is also of crucial importance. If you flick your two-year-old with your finger just after he smacks the baby on the head with a wooden block, he will get the connection and be at least somewhat less willing to smack her again in the future. That seems like a good outcome. He certainly won't conclude that he should hit her more using the flick of his mother's finger as an example. He's not stupid. He's just jealous, impulsive, and not very sophisticated.
And how else are you going to protect his younger sibling? If you discipline ineffectively, the baby will suffer, maybe for years. I'm not saying every child needs to get spanked. I'm not saying every child needs to get spanked every time. I think there are spankable offenses and non-spankable offenses. And I think the way you go about it needs to be calm and reasoned and in the envelope of love because that's the point.
And so if you'll go with me for a second that it's not necessarily harmful, the next question is how is it loving? The reason it's loving is that there are real-world consequences for sin and foolishness. And they are often delayed, especially for children. Real-world consequences for sin and foolishness often delayed, especially for children. There are times when some amount of physical force now is helpful to prevent what was going to happen. We were hanging out with my group.
My son, who was two at the time, started running headlong towards a fire pit. I was too far away to help. Another lady jumped up, knocked him to the ground. Under normal circumstances, if my son had just been playing and she had jumped up and knocked my son to the ground, seems inappropriate. Under these circumstances, I was like, good looking out, thanks. She could have gone Cobra Kai on him and swept the leg.
I'd have been fine with it. He was headed towards something worse. And this is what parenting is. It's bringing in consequences to help train and equip because the future gets worse. If you have a child, it starts young. It goes on.
But most of my examples are young because I only have a six-year-old. We'll talk again in a minute about some older kids. But if you have a child who wants a cookie, they start by pouting. We don't want to encourage that behavior. So if a dog bites you and then you give it a treat, you teach it to bite you.
So it's pouting, so it's not going to get a cookie. Tries whining. We're correcting that as well. Suddenly just decides, let's try domineering. Let's see how this works.
So my son would just yell, Give me a cookie. Pause. He's a child. He's trying all the things that he can try to get what he wants. It's not unreasonable. But I can see the future.
I know what happens. Long term, short term, what's going to happen if this works? Short term, he doesn't get to go to the zoo. And that's not a natural consequence. That's not a punishment. What I'm saying is there will be a day when his mom has some time off and thinks maybe we should go to the zoo.
And then she will consider the behavior of her child. And she will think, getting him in a car seat, getting him into the zoo, getting him to come to me when I call, getting him to sit still, getting him to not throw a fit when he sees ice cream, getting him to leave when it's time to leave, getting him back in the car seat. No, thank you. And she might grow to resent him or have to fight the fact that she's resenting him. It's not his fault. It's our fault.
It's not just that. When he's 10, if we keep this going, his granddaddy won't want to take him fishing. Same reasons. It's not just that. He'll have a harder time in school. He'll have a harder time with friends.
When he grows up, he might become a really nice domineering husband if he was able to domineer his mom his entire life. Now, I can see that he can't. There might be a time where he grows to need to hear the discipline of the Lord, but he can't. He won't. He rejects it. He does not learn to love discipline.
He has not seen how it would benefit him or grow fruit in his life. And so he cannot repent. He cannot follow the Lord well. He can't see that I can. And so what we do is we bring consequences closer that are smaller so that we never get to the ones that are further away and bigger. That's why it's loving.
So it says, 23, 13, do not withhold discipline from a child. If you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol. The purpose of parental discipline is not just for this life, but it is for helping them grow to hate sin, to love correction, to love discipline, to see it's good in their life so that they might one day follow and submit to the Lord in obedience. It is loving to do the hard work of keeping your children away from sin and difficulty. Godly discipline is loving.
Godly discipline requires diligence. That's what it says, that a father who loves his child is diligent to discipline him. Having children is a lot of work. That's why the Lord graciously made them very sleepy so that you can take a break. There's a lot of work and it takes consistency. And it takes consistency.
Parents of young children, it takes consistency in places where it matters. Where it doesn't matter so that it will be consistent where it does matter. Your life with your children should have guardrails, not booby traps. Some of us, you only put the booby trap out in public. But at home, they get to do whatever they want.
They get out in public and suddenly it matters because we're near roads or we're embarrassed because people are around. And all of a sudden, you're just like a pit of vipers attacking your child who's very surprised by this because it's never happened before. One of the reasons why my children have to... When I start off with little kids, I need come when I call you, sit, stay, roll over. The last one's a joke, but the first one are real. Close your mouth because there's going to come a time when I need all of those.
You're going to be running towards the road and I need you to know come when I call you. We're going to be out in public. Your mom is going to be trying to get you. I'm going to need you to know come when I call. I'm going to need you to know sit, stay. I'm going to need you to know how to do these things.
That it requires diligence though because when we're at the house and I'm sitting on the couch and I tell my son to come to me and he takes off running down the hall because he doesn't want to. Oh my goodness, it's so much easier. I kind of wanted him to leave anyway. Okay. But the rules have to be the same.
Next time you're in a grocery store and you see a mom counting down for her child, I can tell you on second two or three whether or not there's going to be anything that happens at five or whatever. One. Two. Kid doesn't even recognize this. You watch a mom count up to five. All right, I'm going to count again.
What does that do? You watch a kid when their mom says one and they go two, their little hands are like, ah, it's like, okay, something happens at three. That kid doesn't want to see it. I'm not sure I want to see it. It takes diligence. Parents with older children, this takes more work.
You have to be more creative. It works better if you start sooner, but it takes more work. You have to be more creative. You have a daughter who lies to you. She said she was going to be somewhere. She went somewhere else.
She's misusing how she's handling her cell phone. Well, you know that lying causes consequences. You know that sin causes consequences. You know that if we keep going down this path, things get worse. You've lived longer than they have. So now you've got to bring some consequences closer.
But you've got to do things that you're willing to follow through with. You will never own a cell phone again. It's probably not an appropriate, like, are you going to follow through with that? They'll know. But maybe you say, for the next week, you're not allowed out of my sight.
Your world's going to get a lot smaller because that's what happens if you lie. Where there's trust, your world's very big. Where there's a lack of trust, your world's very small. So if I'm in the bathroom or you're in the bathroom, you don't have to be in my sight. Otherwise, we're best friends. But you have to pick things you want to follow through with.
If you're a parent of little kids and they're acting up at a place, don't yell, we will never return to a park ever again. Is that true? If you don't want to leave the park, don't say, I'll get you in the car right now. Only do that one if you want to leave. Otherwise, sit on your hands next to that tree. Watch other kids have fun.
Learn that if you control how you act, you get to have fun too. All right. Godly discipline requires diligence. You have to work really hard at it constantly. They have to be the same all the time. It can't be based off of whether or not you're tired, whether or not you've had a bad day, whether or not you're frustrated, whether or not they've pushed you to the limit.
And the truth is consistent discipline on the front end keeps you from being meaner to your children on the back end. You suddenly jump up and go, I'm sick of you. Oh, my goodness. No, for real. It's a four year old. And they're just doing whatever you're letting them do.
Don't let them get to where you're sick of them. Correct them on the front end so that it's enjoyable. That's the next point. Godly discipline fosters delight. Discipline your son and he will give you rest. He will give delight to your heart.
But part of the reason you do this is so that there will be joy. And some of you are disciplinarians. I lean that way. I don't know if you could tell. Some of you are disciplinarians. You've been eating this up.
You're like, yeah, say the rod again. Does your house have delight? Because there's a real temptation for you to be the type of boss. You ever had the boss that would just fuss at you when you were doing poorly and then leave you alone if you were doing fine? Do you like that boss? Do your children need to live in that household?
Be quiet. Sit down. And on days when they're being quiet and sitting down, cool. No, this is to foster delight. This is to foster joy. There's a consistent amount of times where I walk in my house.
I don't know where my boys are and kind of hear them down the hall and I go like this. I don't do that when I'm out here with them because it's weird, you guys. But I do it at the house. I chase them down. We wrestle. We roll on the floor.
We play games. I'm teaching them how to behave so that we can have more fun. You behave. You learn how to control yourself. We get to play more games. We get to do more things.
I help explain this to them the whole time. You don't just correct to the bad behavior, but you tell them what good behavior gets and you help model it. You help get them there. There are times where I have to spank my son and I explain to him, you're going to get spanked. Then I'm going to hug you because I love you.
And then we're going to go back out and play. The fun is going to start right back up. You couldn't do the behavior that you did, but we're going to get back out there. This isn't going to mess up our whole day. I'm not mad at you. We're going to move on.
There's got to be delight. That's what you're pursuing with your children, that they would be enjoyed. And that they would enjoy life with you. My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline or be weary of his reproof. For the Lord reproves him whom he loves as a father, the son in whom he delights. God corrects us, convicts us, pursues us so that we might have love and delight.
Do not reject his discipline. And parents, do not reject this call for you to help your children live in this kind of life as well. Do not hate your children. Love them. Be diligent to discipline them and pursue delight with them so that they might understand how God works. And some of you had very bad fathers and some of you had very bad mothers.
And I want you to know this is God's approach to you. He is not mad at you, trying to crush you, trying to get you to keep you from being on his nerves. He's trying to invite you into delight. And we know this because of Christ. Christ came, the first words out of his mouth were not, I love you. They were repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.
He comes to us and corrects us in our sin and then goes to the cross to pay for our sin and to invite us into joy and delight and love for all of eternity. Oh, praise God that he stands in the way of us in hell. Praise God that he corrects us in our sin. There's a, in the Pinocchio, the little kid's cartoon, I don't know about the real one, but the, all the kids go to a little, like a park and they get to do everything they've ever wanted to. And then they turn into donkeys. Wink, wink, donkeys.
And Pinocchio is teaching us something. That the people who are leading them that way do not love them. God keeps you from going to the park. God pops your hand. God pulls you back. God corrects you.
God puts you on restriction. God puts up boundaries. Why? Because he loves you. And he wants to delight for you. And he wants to delight with you.
And by his grace, we will parent the same way. The band's going to come back up. We're going to sing and we're going to praise this God who corrects us in our sin because he loves us. We're going to sing and we're going to praise this God who loved us so much and pursued our delight so much that he was willing to die that we might have it rather than what we wanted. We're going to praise God in Christ because he is the one who redeems and loves and pursues. And by God's grace, we're going to grow as parents to love our children with the discipline and the diligence and the grace and the teaching that it takes and the effort that it takes to train them well to be able to live in the world God created and to enjoy him.
Let's pray. God, we thank you for your grace. We ask you for your help. We thank you that you correct us in our sin and may we not hate it, but may we love it so that we might have love and delight and joy with you. Help us to grow as parents, to walk in grace where we fail, and to put forth effort to train and equip our children well. In Jesus' name, amen.
Would you guys sing and sing with us? Amen.
The Three Wise Men
Transcript
Good morning. My name is Ben Johnson, and I'm a member here and a leader in training here at Mill City. And I'm so thankful for this opportunity to speak to you today. And we're so excited about the new year, the beginning of the year. I'll be co-leading our community group with Patrick Harding. And we are so thankful for that opportunity and looking forward to that.
And for those of you who don't know me, I would just like to talk a little bit about who I am. I'm originally from Augusta, Georgia, born and raised. And I am a Georgia fan, unfortunately. We can't clinch any championships, but we're still pretty good. And we're going to get to go to a bowl game. But when you think about it, the one game we lost this past regular season was to the Gamecocks.
I mean, how does that happen? I was in Lebanon when Spencer told me. And I was like, is the world turned upside down? What is going on? But unfortunately, it did happen.
But I know y'all were happy about that. When I was 23, God called me to move to the Middle East. But before I made that move, I would take several short-term trips, a few to South America, a couple to Africa. And when I got back from Brazil in 2008, my grandmother called my mom and asked, well, where's Ben planning to go on his next missions trip? And my mom goes, well, he's thinking about moving to the Middle East. And my grandma goes, well, where's that at?
And my mom goes, you know, where all the crazy people are, shooting everybody. And my grandma goes, well, why does he want to go there? Tell him to come to my house and I'll shoot him if that's what he wants. My grandma really did say that. She was a blessed person. I loved her so much.
But before I moved to Beirut, and I have a picture of where Lebanon is. Beirut's the capital of Lebanon, north of Israel, surrounded by Syria. I started 1040 Hope Missions with the vision and purpose to reach the 6,000 unreached people groups in the 1040 window. The 1040 window is a part of the world where the least amount of missionaries, the least amount of churches, the least amount of resources are sent. And I went with the mission to do something, to help resource churches, to train leaders, send new leaders, send out new laborers. Because we have to do something, because that's 3.5 million people who would die and spend an eternity without Christ.
So I was there for 10 years and doing this mission, doing that work. And during that time, I met my beautiful wife, Patricia, where most of my friends, when they saw her, said, Ben got an upgrade. And I did. And God gave us beautiful children. But towards our 10th year, we started to realize we made all these connections, all these networks, got all these leaders trained and ready to go.
But we have no resources to help them. So that's when the Lord put on our heart last year to make a move back to the States to begin working towards this. To getting more people on board, getting more churches as partners, doing what we can do to make the awareness of the needs of the 1040 window known. And getting more resources so we can send more laborers into the harvest to reach the unreached. And that's what we are all about. And I'm so thankful for this church.
You are our home church. And you guys have met such a need in our lives. But I'm so thankful that we're partnering together on one of these projects in 1040 Hope to reach the unreached, the unlovable, the outcast in Egypt. And I'm so thankful that we're doing this together. And when I think about how God brought us together, it just it blows my mind because God loves to use small events or strange events or insignificant moments in our lives to bring about his sovereign and holy will. And that's what we're going to be talking about today in Matthew chapter 2.
God is going to use an event, a star, appearing of a star to bring foreigners from the east, unexpected people to come and be the first ones to worship the Lord Jesus Christ. And it's an uninteresting story. We're going to talk more about that. But it makes me think about how even he connected us because I was working on my computer one day and it crashed. And if you know anything about me, I hate buying a new computer. I don't know why.
It's just it's something in me. I don't want to pay the money to buy a new computer. So I do what I do best. I take my wife's computer and start using it for work. And she loves when I use her stuff for work. But guys, I kid you not.
Two days later, it crashed. I'm like, what is going on? Do I need to rebuke some kind of computer demon? What's going on? So then what do we do?
We go to Best Buy and we're at Best Buy on Sunset Boulevard and we're taught we meet Josh and Josh starts showing his computers. And he talks about how this computer was used by his wife at their church. They go, oh, you go to church. So he told us about Josh Church. And then we start talking about how we're missionaries. We started talking and then Josh starts giving his testimony.
And then Josh starts giving some real deep details of his testimony. And we're like, bro, it's OK. You don't have to share all this stuff right now. We just met. But you know what?
We really weren't weirded out. We actually just he left a good impression on us. And even though he did not make any commission off me because I still walked out of there without buying a computer. Because he talked me into doing their total tech program and fixing my old one, which actually it did last till just this past week. It crashed this past week and I took my wife's computer again. So though he didn't make any commission, he has a spiritual ward because we came to the church and here we are.
And you guys have been our home church and we are so thankful. And y'all have been such a blessing to our lives. But this is what God does. He takes small, insignificant events, things that seem strange and bring about his will and his purpose. And this is what he does with the wise men. He brings foreigners, outcasters, outsiders to the covenant to be the first ones to come and worship the Lord Jesus Christ.
And give him the worship that he is due. And this story is so important because here at the beginning, Matthew is revealing the heart of God for all nations. Not just his people, but for all nations. And the mission of God. That this message of good news would go out to every corner of the earth. So that's what we're going to talk about now.
So let's go to Matthew chapter 2 in your blue Bibles. Verse 1, Matthew chapter 2. And I'm going to pray before we start. Father, I just thank you so much for this opportunity to be here with my church. And I thank you that we're partnered together. Because we're able to accomplish things that we couldn't on our own.
But together we're able to do so much more. And fulfilling your mission. Fulfilling your purposes. And bringing that those who are outside of the covenant. Those who have no hope of salvation. Into the fold.
Into your fold. And into your covenant, Lord. So I thank you together. We're partnered in this mission. Help us now, Lord. See this from this text.
Your heart for everyone. In Jesus' mighty name I pray. Amen. Verse 1. Now after Jesus was born in Bethlehem and Judea.
In the days of Herod the king. Behold, wise men from the east came to Jerusalem. Saying, where is he who is born? King of the Jews. Matthew is purposely using this phrase. Wise men from the east.
And we as readers have to stop and ask. Who were these wise men? Why does Matthew make known of them? Well, we know that they were spiritual advisors. To the kingdoms and palaces they came from. Most likely from Syria, Iraq, or Iran.
Somewhere from that region. We have an old song about singing the three kings of Orientar. They were not kings. They were religious leaders from their courts. So they were very prestigious men.
We know that they were astrologers. So as religious leaders, they studied the stars and studied the heavens, studied the signs. They were Gentiles. Meaning they were outsiders to the covenant people of God. They were not part of the covenant. But yet, they did have some knowledge of a Jewish Messiah.
Western tradition tells us there were three. Three wise men brought three gifts. Eastern tradition tells us there could have been up to twelve. Regardless, we just know it's a large caravan, a large party, coming from the east to pay respect to this new born king. King of the Jews, Matthew says. And he's being so strategic in this phrase.
Because just as Chet and Spencer have been walking us through this book this past couple of months. And showing us that the whole purpose of Matthew writing his book is to show who the king of the Jews is. What this kingdom is going to be like. And how different it is from what they expected. And the current king is ruling. And this is what Matthew is telling us.
So let's keep reading in verse two. So the wise men said, For we saw his star when it rose. And we have come to worship him. Now the church for the last two thousand years has not come to an agreement exactly on what this star was. Some say that it was a star, just as the text says. And that God being God can do whatever he wants.
Uses this star in a miraculous way to lead the wise men from the east directly to the place where Jesus is. Others say, because the Bible has been known to call angels stars. That this star is actually an angel who has appeared to the wise men. Just like in the occasions with Mary, Joseph, and the shepherds. Regardless of how it really is. God is miraculously using this event to bring unexpected outsiders to the place where Jesus is.
So that they can worship him. And the phrase worship him is so important here. Because these wise men are doing something that's common in their day. Coming to pay respect to a king that has been born. And we know because of the Old Testament. And because the Jews have been scattered all over the ancient world.
That there formed a rumor that was circulating during that time. That a great king would rise from the Jews and rule and establish an empire. So we know that this was circulating. And the wise men have heard of this rumor. And they believe with the showing of this star that this king has been born. So they leave everything.
They pack up. And they come to pay him respect and worship. Even if they fully don't understand who he is. They are coming to pay worship to this new born king of the Jews. I'm sorry. Oh.
I thought, where did it go? I'm missing a page. Did not see it. Thank you guys. Y'all are helpful. So Matthew is clearly making the point here by this phrase worship.
Is that Jesus, who is God incarnate. Who is Emmanuel, God with us. Is the one who can rightfully receive worship. For he is worthy. And in reading in verse 3. When King Herod heard this, he was troubled.
As all Jerusalem with him. Because they thought they might die too. Because he never knew what Herod was going to do. And assembling all the chief priests and scribes of the people. He inquired of them where the Christ was to be born. And they told him.
In Bethlehem of Judea. For so it is written by the prophet. You, O Bethlehem, in the land of Judah. Are by no means least among the rulers of Judah. For from you shall come a ruler who will shepherd my people Israel. Matthew is quoting the scribes telling Herod from the prophecy of Micah chapter 2.
They are using the Greek translation of the Old Testament. So if you were to go to Micah chapter 2. It is not a word for word translation. But the point of the prophecy is made clear in this translation here given in Matthew. That the promised king of the Jews would come from Bethlehem. Though a small city it is not least.
And he would be the shepherd king of Israel. And Matthew is clearly pointing a contrast here. Because Herod. As Chet told us. Caesar said it is better to be his pig than his son. Would kill his own sons.
To cling to his power. Matthew is making sure we know that Jesus will be the shepherd king. That was promised from the Old Testament. Who will lay his life down for his subjects. As a shepherd would lay his life down for his sheep. Then Herod summoned the wise men secretly.
And learned from them what time the star had appeared. He sent them to Bethlehem saying. Go and search diligently for the child. And when you have found him. Bring me word. That I may come and worship him too.
Now Herod clearly has crafty and evil intentions here. But I laugh when I read this. Because it is such a Middle Eastern thing to do. Say one thing but mean another. Chet told you the story when I went into a restaurant one time. And I order my sandwich.
And I eat the sandwich. And I walk out. And I did not pay. And I am halfway down the street. Like oh my goodness. I did not pay.
So I run back. And I talk to the man. I am so sorry. He is like Habibi. Which is my friend. What is ten dollars between you and me and friends?
What is ten dollars? He did not mean it. As soon as I took out my money. He took my money. And there were many times like that. Where somebody would tell me something like that.
And I have to look at my wife. Do they mean that? She is like nope. I was like okay. I remember one time one of my good friends told me. He said I learned with Ben Johnson.
Not to ask him anything. Unless I really want to give it. Because he will take it right away. I did not know. Nobody told me you are supposed to ask three times. Say no.
Ask three times. I did not learn that until about a year after. I offended a lot of people. But they forgave me. Verse 9. After listening to the king.
They went on their way. And behold. The star that they had seen when it rose. Went before them. Until it came to rest over the place where the child was. When they saw the star.
They rejoiced exceedingly with great joy. And going into the house. They saw the child with Mary his mother. And they fell down. And worshipped him. Now put yourself in their shoes for a minute.
You're. Imagine yourself in that time. You're of an average family. Average income. Average house. Nothing spectacular.
And all of a sudden. A large motorcade shows up. And president advisors get out. And come into your house. You'd be shocked. Right?
Yeah. This is what's happening here. I imagine they are very surprised. Now their culture is already very hospitable. And they. They will give you anything.
If you are a guest. And I remember this would happen to me. When I would go into the. The Syrian refugee camps. When the war just broke out. And we knew ISIS was there.
And we had to be careful. We worked with our leaders. And when our leaders would say. That guy's ISIS. We'd go the other way. But the army.
Lebanese army protected us. But when we'd go into these camps. And we'd sit on their floor. And they were very very poor. But what they had.
They gave to us. One. Because it's just in their culture. To be hospitable. But two.
I'm an American. That has come into their tent. And has taken the time. To sit with them. So they gave up what they had.
So I imagine Mary and Joseph. Are probably trying to do the same. Like what do we give these. Prestigious men. But they did not come to be honored.
They did not come to be served. But to serve. And to honor. The king of the Jews. That has been born. So I imagine.
They are very taken back. By this event. And then it says in verse 11. Then opening. I'm sorry. Then I was talking about.
When they saw the child. They fell down. And worshipped him. And we know. That later on. By the story.
That Herod. Learned from their time. Of when he told them. The star appeared. That the baby. Was either one or two.
Years old. So the wise men. When they come. And worship baby Jesus. He's not a baby. He hasn't just been born.
At the stable. But he's either one or two. Somewhere. Somewhere around there. So. But unless you're like.
My family. We still worship. With a nice. Nativity. Nativity scenes. You know.
We put it up. In front of the Christmas tree. And we have the wise men. Present with the sheep. And the shepherds. And Mary and Joseph.
But then maybe you're like. Patrick Hardy. Who he decides to come. To my house. A couple weeks ago. He sees a nice little.
Wooden nativity scene. Nativity scene. That we have. That my children. Love to play with. And he starts taking out.
The wise men. From my nativity scene. Because he says. They were not historically there. And I'm like. Really?
Maybe. Maybe. Maybe you're like Patrick. And the suggestion. I have for you. Is take your wise men.
From your nativity. Find the corner. Far. Western corner. Of your house. Eastern corner.
I'm sorry. Because Jesus is in the west. The wise men are in the east. So go to the far corner. Of your house. Place the wise men there.
Make sure they're facing west. Because that's where Jesus was. And you'll be like Patrick Harden. And be historically accurate. So yeah.
So he's around. Two years old. When they come. To worship him. And when they worship him. In verse 11.
They open treasures. They offer him gifts. Gold. And frankincense. And myrrh. And being warned in a dream.
Not to return to Herod. They departed to their own country. By another way. These gifts that they present in worship. Were gifts fit for a king. Gold was the currency of kings.
Frankincense was not used by normal everyday people. They were used in palaces. By expensive people who had a lot of money. They were very expensive. It was. Myrrh was also used to embalm those who had died.
It was not a regular thing that was used. Not very common. These foreigners. These outsiders to the covenant. To the covenant people of God. Bring gifts fit for a king.
Bow down. And worship baby Jesus. But then they are warned by a dream. Of Herod's evil intentions. And they choose to go by another way. Which I imagine would have been very difficult for them.
Because they are a large caravan. And we know Herod had roots all over his kingdom. And outposts. But it seems that they are obedient. To the heavenly dream they are given. And they escape.
And we know from the rest of the story. That Jesus will escape to Egypt. And here we are at the end of the story. And we as readers must pause and ask. Why? What is the purpose of the story?
Why has Matthew. Who is the only gospel writer. To give us this story. To give us this information. Why has he chosen this story? Because think about it for a moment.
John the apostle said. If all the things that Jesus did. Were written down in books. Not all the books of the world. Can contain them. Imagine that.
Wow. So Matthew. Is purposeful. In choosing this story. And we as readers. Have to ask.
Why? And the reason is. Here at the very beginning of his book. Matthew is revealing. The heart. And the mission.
Of God. Not only for his own people. The Jews. But for foreigners. Outsiders. Men from the east.
Who have no hope of salvation. No hope of being part of the covenant. But God draws them. With this miraculous sign. To the place where Jesus is. And even if they fully don't understand.
What they are doing. They give him worship. And express that through the gifts. That they bring. And this shows that God desires. All men.
To have relationship. And fellowship. With him. And Matthew. This is what his whole book is about. About the kingdom of God.
Jesus. God longs for all people. To be in part of his kingdom. And Matthew. All the way. Is going to be talking about this kingdom.
And what it looks like. Up to the very end of his book. Where he. This risen Lord. The Lord that. Died for our sins.
This God. Who became flesh. And died for our sins. And resurrected. So that me and you.
Could no longer. Be outsiders. Because unless you were born Jewish. We had no hope. Unless you had a Jewish ethnicity. Sorry.
We are outsiders. To the kingdom of God. But he came specifically. So that you. And I. Could be grafted in.
And become insiders. Of the covenant people of God. And that. Is good news. And so Matthew. At the end of the book.
Has this risen Lord. Telling us. Now go out into all the world. And take this good news. Take this message. To the ends of the earth.
Until I return. And that. Now we are co-laborers with God. Co-laborers with Christ. Co-laborers in this mission. Of spreading the good news.
And the gospel message. Of Jesus Christ. That those who are outsiders. Can now. Be insiders. No matter what your background.
No matter what you come from. No matter what's happened. You can now be an insider. If you. Answer. Answer.
The invitation. So how do we respond today? Let us respond. As the wise men did. That they may not fully understand. Even who Jesus was.
But they left everything. And they came to where he was. And they bow down. In reverence and respect. And give him expensive gifts. Today we know who he is.
He is Emmanuel. He is God with us. He is. Jesus is the word. Who became flesh. So let us leave all.
The distractions. And all the things of life. That grab our attention. And let us bring our lives. And lay them down. At his feet.
Because it is the least that he deserves. Because he gave up everything for us. For God so loved the world. He gave his son. I can't even imagine. Giving one of my children up.
For someone that I don't even know. But God did that. For me and you. So that we can no longer be outsiders. But insiders.
And part of his kingdom. So let's take that message. Whatever we do. Whatever we have to do. Let's get this message out.
And that's going to play out. In different ways. For different people. Because we all have different gifts. And talents. But we need to respond.
And I've got some examples. I think. And how we can respond. And maybe some of those. God's going to call you. To pray a little bit more.
Jesus said. Pray for the labors. To be sent to the harvest. For the harvest is huge. But the labors are so few.
I have seen this. We don't have all the labors we need. We need more labors. Pray for the labors. Pray for the labors. That we do have.
For their safety. They give up so much. For the gospel. We need to pray for our brothers and sisters. Around the world. The bible tells us.
That are being persecuted. Or that are sitting in prison today. Because they are believing in the hope. Of the good news. Some of you. May need to respond more.
Are called to respond more. By giving. Paul said. Those who have more. Should give more. To further the kingdom of the gospel.
Don't give to where you put yourself in a bind. But if you can give. There's no guilt or pressure here. Give. To further the gospel. Do exactly what you are doing.
As we are doing as a church. As participating in this gift project. Giving to Citizens Church in North Carolina. So that people here. In the United States of America. Can hear about the good news.
Because we still need more churches. In this country. Continue giving. To this gift project. As we're partnering with Pastor Georges. And his ministry.
This ministry. That is reaching out to the nine million people. In his country. That are disabled. Or handicapped. And seen as a curse by God.
Because of their handicap. But they're going to them. Saying no. You're not cursed. You're not an outcast. God did everything.
So you could be an insider. So that you can be loved. And you as a church. Are helping make that possible. Because supporting one of these events. These events.
Where they go out. And proclaim this message. To the multitudes. You are allowing for people to come. And know that they can. They are loved.
And that they are not cursed. Or outcast by God. And I'm actually going to show a video. Of one of the events. That you're going to be help sponsoring. And there's going to be some.
It's a three minute clip. And there's going to be some parts. Where he speaks in Arabic. And I'm just going to give a slight translation. During those points. But let's go ahead.
And watch that video now. And there's going to be some. With our hearts set on glorifying God. We can stand against oppression. And force failure to stand down. We can introduce and bring hope.
Back into our world. Jesus is going to give happiness. To everyone that is present here today. We thank you Lord. For being over this work. And completing it.
We thank you Lord. For always letting us feel your presence. In every second of every day. We thank you Lord. For touching everybody. That called on your name today.
By giving $4,500. You are helping. Make one of these events possible. And reaching people. That feel cursed. And outcast.
And unloved by God. Because we found people in Egypt. That were put in a room for 40 years. Because they were handicapped. And the family didn't want. Other people in the community.
To know. That they had a handicapped person. In their family. For fear. That they would not give their sons. Or daughters.
Into Mary. And into their family. Which is a big deal. In their culture. So people who have been in rooms.
For 40 years. Can you imagine. Thinking that they are unloved. Outcast. Outsider. Jesus died.
For those people. And you by giving. Are partnering with them. So when you get to heaven. People will come to you. And say thank you.
Because the sower and the giver. The reaper. Are one and the same. In Christ. We work. In Christ Jesus.
And all the glory goes to him. You are making this possible. Some of you. May be called to respond by going. First going. And being an everyday missionary.
In your community. Going to your work. To those in your family. To those in your neighborhood. To those all around us. And when possible.
Going. To those who are far. I remember when I was 20 years old. Sitting in my Bible ministry class. And the teacher started walking through the book of Genesis. And he got to the place of Ishmael.
And he stopped. And he looked up. And he said. Ishmael. Who has 300 million descendants. Who are deceived.
And dying. And going to hell. And no one is going to them. And that just pierced my heart. Because I came from Georgia. Like my grandma said.
Just come over here. I'll shoot you. If that's what you want. I heard from Georgia. Everybody say. Blow them all up.
Why do we need to send our troops over there? So I never even thought about going. Or even thought about saving the Arabs. Until this moment. That God pierced my heart so bad. That I could not stop weeping in that moment.
And I knew God had called me. That I had to do something. And he actually specifically called me. And told me to go. It took me three years to get on the field. And I lived there for ten years with them.
But I knew I had to do something. And that may. That's not going to happen with everybody. Practically that. That just can't happen. We can't all go.
We need people to pray. We need people to say and give. We need people who can go. But there might be some here today. Who the Lord might actually put on your heart. To pack it all up.
Like the wise men did. And go to another land. To worship him. In that way. Of going and taking the message. Of good news.
So it's going to look different for each of us. Some of us are going to pray more. Some of us need to give more. Some of us might need to go more. And as the band comes up. In this moment.
We're going to pray. And we're going to take communion. And I want the Lord. You want. I want you to ask the Lord. Lord what part can I play?
In helping bring outsiders. Like these wise men. Into your kingdom. With the message of good news. So that they become insiders.
Because you allowed me to become an insider. And now I'm a co-worker. And laborer with you. So ask the Lord. What specifically part. That you can play.
In fulfilling his great commission. So that all people can hear. The gospel of good news. And have a chance. Of salvation. And entering this kingdom.
That Matthew. Is talking about. Let us pray. Father I thank you for this church. I thank you for my family Lord. And I thank you that we're partnering together.
And bringing your gospel. And your message. To outsiders. People who seem. To be outcasts. And unlovable.
But Lord they're not. You gave up everything for them. So Lord pray. I just pray you speak to everyone's heart. Right now in this moment. Of Lord.
What part they can play. There's no guilt here. There's no pressure. Father we do it. Because we love you. We do it.
Because we were outsiders. And we had no hope of salvation. We had no hope of being a part of your kingdom. But you left up the glory. And the riches of heaven. For me.
For us. So that is our motivation God. We love you. With all our hearts. With all our mind. With all our soul.
We desire you. And to make you known. So reveal to each and every one of us Lord. What can we do? What part can we play? You know.
By ourselves. We can't do that much. But together. As one people. As one voice. We can accomplish a lot.
So I thank you Lord. Use us. Use this body here in Columbia. South Carolina Lord. To do your kingdom work. To spread your name.
And to go after those that are outsiders. And outcasts. And unlovable. And bring them in. And make them insiders in the kingdom of God. We give you all the praise.
And all the glory. In Jesus name. Amen.