Sugar, Spice & Everything Nice?
Our culture puts an immense amount of pressure on women. So many women are crushed by the weight of having a perfect body, perfect kids, and perfect relationships. But is that really what it means to be a woman? What if femininity has nothing to do with wearing a dress?
Transcript
Well, good morning. We are in the fourth week of our series, The Theology of Sex, where we're just taking some time to look at what the Bible has to say about gender, sexuality, romance, marriage, masculinity, femininity. A lot of times, we love the Bible. I have a problem. I start multiple sentences and that wasn't going to work out well together. A lot of times, because we love the Bible, we just study straight through a book of the Bible.
We'll just open it up. We'll go straight through. We spent a good bit of time this past year in 1 Peter. Some people might say a little too much time, but we walked verse by verse through 1 Peter. Really, we like the Bible. We study the Bible.
We believe that it's Scripture that helps us grow, that changes us, that Jesus works through that, through the Holy Spirit, to move us and to change us. But we also like to take time to say, okay, we're confused about this or we're having a hard time with this in our culture. And then we, instead of just studying straight through a book, we'll actually just kind of go to the Bible and say, what does the Bible have to say about these topics? And try to dig in that way. And that's kind of what we're doing right now. We're just spending some time talking about the theology of sex.
So last week, we talked about masculinity. We talked about what it meant to be a man, what biblical manhood was. And this week, we're going to talk about femininity, what it means to be a woman, what biblical womanhood is. And in general, in our culture, we're a little bit more positive towards women right now in our culture. We, in general, celebrate women. We want to promote women.
And there's really good examples of women in the workplace. And just in our culture, we're trying to look for ways to promote, to highlight. We kind of agree as a culture that women are great, even when maybe culturally the jury's still out on men. We're kind of on board with the idea that women are good, like we're pro-woman. And that hasn't always been the case throughout history. And that really is kind of a small window right now where we're saying, no, we need to, women are wonderful.
Let's promote them. Let's highlight them. But just because the climate is different for men and women, I actually don't think it makes it easier to be a woman. I don't really know, but I don't think it does. Just because there's so much now where it's the cause for, you need to be free from a man. You need to be, this is where joy comes from.
This is where freedom comes from. And then you'll also have the, no, if you just find the right man, then you'll be complete, then you'll be fulfilled. Or freedom comes from a career, or you have these mommy blogs that are like, you need to raise your own chickens and grow your own kale so that your kid doesn't turn into some weird high fructose corn syrup blob of a monster. Like all of this pressure to be all of these things. And it just seems in general like it makes being a woman more difficult kind of in our culture. And we really need to have a good handle on what is femininity?
What is the essence of womanhood? Because it just seems like we've got kind of a cluttered message out there right now. When my wife and I sit down and watch TV in the evenings, mostly, I look pretty good. Like as long as I'm not like an overgrown boy, I kind of know my kid's name and talk to my wife and have a job. And in general, I'm not an idiot. I'm beating most of the people we watch on TV.
Like most of the characters in shows, I look pretty good. But my wife, there's a lot of like really good examples of women in these shows that just have everything together. They've got their jobs working out perfectly. They're the one that tends to the house. Whenever the kids have problems, they fix it. And it just seems like there's a lot of pressure on females to kind of be everything at this point.
And so we really want to just kind of get some handles on biblically. What is the essence of femininity? What does it mean to be feminine, to kind of stretch into and press into womanhood? And so a few kind of disclaimers as we get started. One, I am aware that I am a man and therefore not a woman. But like always, we're going to try to open the Bible and say, here's we're going to let Scripture teach us, God instruct us and try to to learn as best we can from the text and not from personal opinion or personal experience, which I have very little of.
So single ladies in the room, like last week, femininity is not based off of role. So you don't have to be a wife. You don't have to be a mother. It doesn't wait for those things. That's not the completion of womanhood throughout Scripture. Let me just say this to help the ladies in the room that that read the Bible on a regular basis, that you study the Bible on a regular basis.
You read the Bible on a regular basis and you just kind of like, I don't see a lot of single women in Scripture. You are correct. There aren't a lot of single women in Scripture. Reason being is two primary reasons. One is in the Old Testament, we're mostly following the story of a family. So God's working through a race, through a people.
And so most of the major characters are going to be people who line up in that family. And so we're going to follow a lot of wives and mothers when you when they enter into the story because it's a people group. God was working through a family leading up to the lineage of Jesus. That's why the New Testament is going to start off with lineages. And most of the women that were highlighted in the Old Testament line up in those lineages. The other thing is just culturally.
There wasn't a lot of room for females to go get jobs, to just enter the marketplace. Just culturally, it didn't work that way. Most people were farmers. Most females were married off at a very young age. And so just because Scripture gives a lot of examples of wives and mothers, it does not mean that it's wrong to be single. Well, actually, in the New Testament, Paul's going to say it's great to be single.
You do really well to be single actually affirms singleness and says that's a beautiful, wonderful way to live and to reflect the image of God. And that's that's good and wonderful. And people don't have to get married. So even as we study Scripture and as you study Scripture and you see a lot of mothers and wives, they're going to live out their femininity in the role they were given. And you're going to get to do the same in the roles that you have. So femininity isn't based off of role.
It's actually just going to express itself through the roles that you're given. And so don't have to be married. Don't have to be a mother. Femininity is much deeper than that. So as we go in, just remember that men in the room, I'm going to intentionally, overtly, maybe even at times a little bit aggressively go after some of the moronic stereotypes that we have of women.
And your role will be to repent of the ones that you have believed and anywhere that you have helped propagate those. And then actively in the future to tell people to shut up and to help them not continue. So that's that's what you get to do. Also, it's about a thousand times easier for females to to express and to step into their femininity when men express and step into their masculinity. For the most part, when men abdicate their role, women step in and begin to cultivate and provide and protect like we talked about last week. And it becomes dang near impossible for them to do both for them to pick up your slack and do what they're supposed to.
So one of the best ways that we love the ladies in the room is by actually being men. And so if you didn't hear the sermon last week, I would encourage you to listen to it and then seek to grow with us as we try to be men. Guys in the room, if you're single and feel called to get married and are looking to date, this is what you're looking for in a female. And this is if you're married, what you're encouraging and celebrating in your wife. OK, one more one more quick caveat. I am I want I want us to remember that what we're talking about, we're saying specifically this is essence of femininity.
This is something that is core to femininity. This is maybe an issue that maybe ladies struggle with more. When we say those things, we don't mean men can't do these things or if a man does them, he's wrong in the same way. We didn't mean that last week. So if you're like, wait a second, I'm not supposed to protect.
I'm not supposed to provide just because I'm a woman. It's like, no, we're not saying that. We're just saying that's essential to masculinity. So it's like I looked at my wife one time. We're about to leave and go somewhere. I said, I said, you look, I really like that shirt.
She looked at me and she went, you don't like my other shirts. And I was like, why would you take it that way? Why would that? Why would one compliment to a shirt immediately be like me attacking all of your other clothes? That's not what I. So if we say something in a positive way, this is for femininity.
Don't immediately turn it around and apply it to everything else because we're not trying to say that. So don't be like my wife, I guess, is the way that's supposed to work. So I didn't mean it quite that way. I'm going to pray because, Lord, I need help. And we're going to hop in and try to avoid more ditches. God, we thank you that you're good.
We thank you that you're gracious to us. And we pray, Lord, that in this that we would study your word and that we would grow in our understanding of what femininity is, how you designed humanity, both male and female, on purpose and with a good design that brings joy and human flourishing. We pray for the ladies in the room that they would press into you as they learn to press into and flex and grow in their God-given design. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. All right, we're going to be in Genesis chapter 1 and chapter 2, and then we'll move around a little bit.
But we'll start there this morning. Genesis chapter 1 is on page 1 in this Bible. If you don't own a Bible, this is our gift to you. Take it with you. Genesis chapter 1, starting in verse 26, 27, and 28. We're going to read that real quick together.
We've read this about every week through this series because it's essential to us understanding gender and sexuality. Then God said, Let us make man in our image after our likeness, and let them, such humanity, have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth. So God created man in his own image. In the image of God, he created him. Male and female, he created them. And God blessed them and God said to them, Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.
So God in creation makes male and female in his image and likeness. That both masculinity and femininity are designed to reflect God to the world. That both are. So it has been wrongly taught and wrongly taught from this passage, from a poor reading of the text, that this is only that men are made in God's image and females are not. It has been wrongly taught that women are innately inferior to men, and that is garbage. It's not true.
It clearly says that male and female were made in the image of God, and that that was God's good design from the very beginning. That there are ways that masculinity images God and ways that femininity images God. I'm going to try to say womanhood from now on, because that's going to get harder and harder as the day goes on. Womanhood images God that masculinity can't. So God intentionally designed manhood and womanhood differently on purpose.
So there have been the wrong ideas of women are inferior to men. They need to be barefoot in the kitchen. They need to know their role. They need to know their place. And that that is completely backwards, incorrect and is a as a heinous, aggressive stare down in the face of God's good design to make women in his image. And we completely reject that.
And out of that has arisen, actually, a rightly began the movement of feminism, looked at that and rejected that idea correctly, correctly rejected that idea. But then went the opposite direction with it. So that feminism says women and men are the same. If not, women are better than men. They can do everything a man can do. They're designed to operate the same way men are designed.
And they can do all the same things. They're designed the same way and are even better and superior in a lot of ways. And it's like, no, actually, God, when he designed humanity, made them distinct on purpose. That it's more than a biological distinction over how babies are made. That he actually intentionally created a gulf and made masculinity a certain way and femininity a certain way, far beyond biology, that was designed to be lived out in a way that together imaged him. That they were not complete without him.
So that masculinity and femininity are designed to complement one another, to shore up each other's weaknesses, to make each other's strengths stronger. One of the ways that this shows up, he gives them the, he says, God blessed them and said, be fruitful and multiply and subdue the earth. So the call to human flourishing is given to humanity in general, to males and females together, to work together, to subdue the earth. And it would not happen outside of both being there. Outside of masculinity and femininity playing out on a global scale, you wouldn't have human flourishing. One of the coolest examples of this, that's kind of in our own country, and I heard somebody talking about it recently and it reminded me of a Ken Burns documentary.
I don't know if you all know about Ken Burns, but that man can document stuff. And he does a lot of like PBS documentaries and stuff. And I watched one of the Old Wests. And when the West got started, when U.S. citizens started moving out that way, it was mostly just men. Men went, they were hunting, they were kind of trapping, getting furs, they were chasing after gold, they were chasing after land, they were being chased after by people. But they all just kind of moved out that way, and it was just men.
And there were a lot of like shanty towns and tents, and it was pretty terrible. But it was mostly just men that moved out there. It wasn't until the second wave when a large proportion of females went with them. And then suddenly, towns, laws, streets, like systems of government. Men by themselves could only take it so far. They were like, I'm here, there's a tent.
I use the bathroom over there. Got it. Like it was for some reason, masculinity only had half the picture. Like it could only handle so much. And then it wasn't until masculinity and femininity worked together that we began to see flourishing, began to see sustainable forms of life and growth. And honestly, that's kind of the picture we see at the very beginning of Scripture, where God makes male and female on purpose and says, this is how the world is going to flourish, is if you work together distinctly complementing one another.
So let's hop in. Let's look at some three essential ways that women image God to the world. And we're going to start in Genesis chapter 2. We're going to look at 15 and 18 to begin to see this. So Genesis chapter 2, that's one page over.
Oh, I jumped away too many pages. 15. The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and keep it. That's what we talked about last week. So God takes the man and puts him in the Garden of Eden to work it and keep it.
And then he says something really kind of surprising in the text in verse 18. Then the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone. I will make a helper fit for him. If you've been reading through Genesis 1 and into Genesis 2, every time it would say God said something, he did something, and he saw that it was good. And then God said something, he saw it, and it was good. And God said something, he saw it, and it was good.
This is the first time that God does something and then goes, that's not good. And it's not a slight on Adam. It's just that masculinity alone is incomplete. Manhood alone is incomplete. And so when God designs femininity, he intentionally designs it different. He did not make one generic human person.
It wasn't like, oh, he just needs a team. No, he specifically intentionally made femininity different from masculinity. Womanhood different from manhood in order to work together on it. And so it says that I will make a helper fit for him. So the first kind of essential thing we see, we're going to look at that word helper.
And so immediately you're going, really? Helper? That's what we're starting off with? Yes, helper is what we're starting off with. It's from the word azer in the text. And it's really kind of two words stuck together.
It's the word strength and rescue kind of smooshed together. So the idea of helper in the text is not the idea that we have where we'll say stuff like, oh, you're going to be my little helper today. It's not at all what we're talking about. It's kind of the same as I was at the zoo the other day and was looking at a tiger and the little things like, tiger is a part of the cat family. And it's like, yeah, but they're a lot different from cats though, right? And so when we say the word helper, we kind of hear cat.
And it's like, sure, technically, but think more tiger. So when it says strong rescuer, that word helper is used 21 times in the Old Testament. 17 times it's referring to God. It's always referring to this moment of like a last ditch. Everything was going to be terrible until help came, until rescue came. The Septuagint, which is the Greek version of the Old Testament, actually translates that word auxiliary, which would be a backup reinforcement unit in the military.
So when it says that God looked at Adam and said he needs a helper, he doesn't mean little sidekick teammate. He means he needs a strong, empowering rescuer in some ways. That if you were reading the text in the original Hebrew, you'd be going, okay, this isn't looking good. This isn't looking good. Ah, reinforcements. We're not going to lose this battle.
This is actually going to work out. And so when it comes to biblical essence of femininity, one of the things woven into the heart and soul of womanhood is this, to be a helper, to be an ezer, which is, think about the idea of foreign aid. When a country comes to another nation, they're torn apart by war and famine and poverty, and they approach a bigger, stronger nation and say, hey, we need your help. We need you to step in and lend us your strength. That's the concept here. That's the picture we're given of biblical femininity, which means this.
Your strength exists for the benefit of others. Biblical femininity is that you were given strength on purpose for the benefit of others. That you're designed to notice weakness. That you're designed to notice pain. That you're designed to see those who need help and step in and empower them and equip them and help them. To step in where there's brokenness and bring healing and joy and life.
That's the idea here. It's like a mother that, over time, pours out her life for a child that is going to take life out of her and take life out of her and take life out of her. And less and less and less over time until the child is a full-grown, capable adult. That's the idea. That you would come around everyone around you. And it doesn't have anything to do with role.
It doesn't have anything to do with where you find yourself. You're going to do this with your roommates. You're going to do this with your community group. You're going to do this with your husband, with your children. You're going to look and see weakness. You're designed to see weakness and pain and step in and realize that your strength exists to be on loan for others.
That your energy exists to be on loan for others. That your joy exists to be on loan for others. To empower them and equip them. So there's currently kind of a conversation going on where there's this movement for if anybody around you drains you. If anybody around you is needy, you just need to get rid of that person. You just need to get them out of your life.
They're just a leech. They're just sucking the life out of you. You need to get rid of them. That's actually very unhelpful. Because part of the design of femininity is to pour out your life and your energy for the behalf of others. To lend your strength for others to grow strong and to be healthy.
And so one of the ways that this can... It is designed for other people to grow, to be empowered and to be equipped and to be sent out. It's not designed to be codependency. To where you only feel valuable if you're needed. So there have been, and even like in situations where a husband is on drugs and having issues with drugs.
Where a wife will actually come along at some point when he's doing better and help him relapse. Because she only understands her role as being needed. And if he's not on drugs, she doesn't understand how she has value anymore. It's not that idea at all. It's not the idea that you have to be needed at all times. It's just that you notice, step in, equip, empower and send out.
We sometimes use the term woman's intuition. So like my wife and I will go hang out with people and when we'll leave, she'll go... So, what was up with Gary? What? What was going on with him? Nothing?
There was definitely something going on with him. No, there wasn't. Y'all didn't talk about it? Talk about what? The thing that was going on. There wasn't a thing going on.
Like, we have these conversations all the time. She's like, what was wrong with them? Or I'll go hang out with someone that I already know there's a thing going on. And when I come back, she'll go, so what did y'all talk about? I'll be like, nothing. What about that problem they're having?
Oh, yeah. Nope. Didn't come up. How did it not come up? He didn't bring it up. I didn't.
I didn't. I didn't bring it up. What am I going to say? How's that pain going? Like, I'm not. But there's just something in femininity in her for her to notice that, to be drawn to that, and to step in, to help, to equip, to fix.
And honestly, there's a little bit of, okay, but what about my strength existing for me? What about what I'm equipped with existing for me? But the truth is, this is a very biblical concept to its core for humanity, not just femininity. That Jesus is going to say, deny yourself. He's going to say, pick up your cross, follow me. He's going to say that if you seek your own life, you'll lose it.
But if you lose your life for my sake, you'll gain it. He's going to say that he didn't come to be served, but to serve and to give his life on behalf of others. And there's actually something very godly in a way that you image God by using your strength for the benefit of others. That it's written into your soul. You're designed to do it. To see weakness, to step in, to equip, and to help.
The second one that we're going to see, we're going to jump to 320. We're just kind of following along this story, looking at Eve and realizing that a lot of this is talking specifically about her, but we're just trying to see as a type, as the first woman, as the first essence of femininity, representative of all femininity on earth. How does this play out? What is she called to? And how does this continue? So verse 20 says, the man called his wife's name Eve because she was the mother of all living.
Okay, this is actually really interesting where this shows up. It says he called his wife's name Eve. Eve means life because she was the mother of all living. This is prior to her having any children. So a lot of times, in a lot of cultures, not our culture, people are named names, given names based off of their characteristics, based off of their role, based off of who they are.
So in the Bible, there's a guy named Barnabas, which just means he's an encourager. They gave him that name because he was already encouraging. They weren't just like, hey, you seem like in the future you might encourage people. I'm going to start calling you Barnabas. It's like, hey, weirdo, don't change my name. It's like, but he was very encouraging.
So they just like, that became his nickname. That's what they called him. They changed his name to that. A lot of cultures still do this. My cousins, my parents, my grandparents were missionaries in Nigeria. I've got some first generation African-American cousins from Nigeria.
And one of my cousins married a guy named John. And it's really funny when I get to introduce them to people because I get to say, this is my cousin John. This is my cousin Iannu. Sorry, I messed it up. This is my cousin Iannu and her husband John. And John is aggressively white like I am.
He's got a big head. He's got kind of reddish beard like I do. And so immediately when I say, this is my cousin Iannu and her husband John, people like twitch because it's like, wait, I think he said that wrong. Because this is your cousin, the big white guy that looks like you. And so it's always fun. But this past Christmas, they sent from Nigeria, from their family, sent over clothes for all of them and had written their names in the clothes that they sent.
So they were going to have traditional Nigerian clothes and they've written their names in it. And John saw his and it said, John Oyinbo. And he looked at my uncle, my uncle Abel and goes, oh, Oyinbo, is that like my Nigerian name? And my uncle started laughing so hard he couldn't talk. Like he was like wheezing, couldn't get words out. Finally, when he caught his breath, he said, it means John white guy.
They also call you Okalawan, which is different person. But there's this idea in a lot of cultures that you get a name that goes with who you are. You get a name that kind of defines your. And so when he names her Eve, when he names her life and says she's the mother of life prior to her having children, there's actually this picture of not just she's going to be the mother of everyone, not just she is the mother of all life later, but also just this design in her, in femininity to bring life, to give life, to be a refuge is kind of the second idea we're going to look at this morning. So it's one of the ways that helped me understand this idea was I was reading a book by C.S.
Lewis and he was talking about his relationship with his father and his relationship with his mother. And when he was really young, his mother passed away. And after she passed away, he wrote this in this book. He said, with my mother's death, all settled happiness, all that was tranquil and reliable disappeared from my life. There was to be much fun, many pleasures, many stabs at joy, but no more of the old security. It was sea and islands.
Now, the great continent had sunk like Atlantis. There's just this idea that without his mother, there there wasn't the same amount of of a refuge. His home wasn't home anymore. It was certainly a place to go to when he was out of school, certainly a place to be. But he never would feel quite like he was just free, just at home.
It's kind of the idea of if last week we said manhood is like being four walls and a roof, then femininity is a fireplace. It's everything that makes life livable. It's it's it's and it's not your ability to Martha Stewart, your house or to Pinterest, the fool out of everything. It has nothing to do with that. It doesn't have anything to do with your craftiness and whether or not your house has anything on the wall at all. It doesn't have have anything to do with you own a home.
It all it is is that home is where you are. Family is where you are. And we've all known people like this that just set us free to be ourselves. You know, you have certain friends and maybe your family that when you get around them, you're just more you than you are anywhere else. You're just a little less guarded, a little more free. I'm like this with my brothers.
They already know everything about me. So it's just and they have to be my brother forever. Like I just if I took them off, it's like, see you later. You're still my brother. See you at Christmas. How do you like them apples?
Like there's no no getting rid of me. And then there are certain people you get around and they just do the same thing. Certain ladies you get around and they just completely make you feel at home, make you feel welcome, make you feel free. And that's the idea of that she almost the infemininity written into the soul of femininity is the idea that you're actually a little bit of a mother to everybody. And I mean that in the most beautiful way, like the idea that everybody becomes part of your family. Everybody is fully welcome and free around you.
I can remember when I was in high school, my mom, any any story I had to tell, she was interested in just because I was telling the story. Like all that mattered was I was one of the characters in the story and she was happy, just like if I thought it was interesting. So I didn't the threshold for what she wanted to hear when I came home from school was very, very low. So on the way home, I'd be like, all right, let me think of something I can tell my mom. And I come up with some story that was just really not even a story. It didn't have any plot twists.
It didn't even really have any kind of where it was going. It was just like a thing. And in the middle of these stories a lot, my dad would walk into the room and he'd go, what? And I'd go, no, nothing. And he'd go, no, what? What are y'all talking about?
Because my mom would be laughing. She would actually make this story that wasn't a story like sound good. She'd laugh. She'd ask questions. She'd be like, what was his name? How did that happen?
Oh, my goodness. A Pepsi Cola. Like she just would make it like it didn't have to have any point. And somebody would go, what? What? No, y'all are talking.
What is it? And I'd go, this guy at school, he didn't have his homework. Before the teacher was going to take it up, he freaked out. And my dad would go, that's a stupid story. And walk off. And this happened on a regular basis.
And he never learned that the story wasn't going to be good. I like, he has a threshold for what makes a good story. I know that. I don't tell these stories to him. But there was something about my mom that just made it free.
Made me get to be me in a way that nobody else does. And there's something in femininity that allows you to just lower everybody's guard. That you're designed to make people feel comfortable and welcome and free. And it doesn't have anything to do with personality type. My wife's very quiet, very reserved. Three of her best friends were, it was a girl her age, a girl that was her sister, four or five years older, and their mom.
And that group of, that family, those three ladies, they believe if they have a thought, they had it for them to share with you. If they have an opinion, it was designed for them to say it out loud. They are very flamboyant, loud, happy, loud people. And they absolutely are themselves and they make you feel like yourself when you're around them. It doesn't have anything to do with personality type. It has to do with the ability to, you're not being judged.
You're not being graded. You're not having to live up to a standard. Ladies, if you're consistently having to compare yourself to other people and having to jockey for position and posture yourself to look good, you destroy your ability to do this. Because people aren't free around you because you need them to build you up. But when you're free in Christ to just be open to everybody, to just be welcoming to everybody, you get to kind of step into this role where home is where you are.
Family is where you are and your circle of concern just extends to everybody around you. My grandmother is like this. She hasn't met a person that she hasn't just adopted into her family for however long she's known them. Whether that's they sat near each other on a plane or she knew them for a couple of years before she moved or they moved. Everyone around her, she extends her circle of concern and they are just welcome with her. They're a part of her family the same that everyone else is.
And there's just something distinct in femininity that allows that to happen, that allows you to welcome and to be a refuge to everyone around you. And it doesn't have anything to do with personality type, with role. It actually is just something that's designed in the nature of womanhood. The third one is kind of interesting. So we're going to jump back into the narrative here in Genesis chapter 223.
We're going to look at the narrative and then we're going to go to 1 Peter to try to understand this one a little bit better. 2 Peter to try to understand this one a little bit better. 2 Peter to try to understand this one a little bit better. 2 Peter to try to understand this one a little bit better. So God had put Adam on earth.
2 Peter to try to understand this one a little bit better. 2 Peter to try to understand this one a little bit better. 2 Peter to try to understand this one a little bit better. So God had put Adam on earth. He had had him name all the animals. So he brought animal after animal after animal by named all the animals and said there was no suitable empowering strength, no suitable auxiliary for him, no suitable helper. and so then he makes Eve and he brings him to Eve and then it says the man said this at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh she shall be called a woman because she was taken out of man so when Adam sees Eve we get the first poetry in history it's either poetry or song it's not great I know you read it and you're like Adam bro step up your game man like this isn't I don't even like it doesn't rhyme hopefully it rhymed in Hebrew this isn't really great but what he what he does it's a little bit of this moment where his his heart finds resonance with her he he feels like finally he actually starts off with at last it's like that song at last like he just he sees her and it's just like and and there's this idea in creation and in God God is beautiful he's designed to be captivating to be delighted in there's over and over in the Psalms where David and other psalmists are writing and saying I just want to look at you I just want to stare at you I just want to be caught up in you and God specifically designed creation to be beautiful and there's something about femininity that has some of that impressed in it and it is not physical beauty or at least not only physical beauty so let's jump to first Peter before this gets really confusing and we take this in the wrong direction first Peter three says this is first Peter uh some of y'all familiar with this we spent the time studying this last year uh do not let your adorning be external okay uh some versions are going to translate that do not let your adorning be
External only and the word adorning there is cosmos which really means world so we use the the world the same way that sometimes we will say uh his whole world is sports uh that family that like her kids or her whole world so what he's saying is don't let your whole everything around you your whole existence be external the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry or the clothing you wear but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which in God's side is very precious God specifically in creation made things beautiful made them to have a a weight and a gravity to be delighted in and gazed upon and there's something specific to femininity that evokes that that God has impressed his own way that that women image the image God is through a captivating personhood through a soul-stirring beauty and our culture has twisted this and marred this and bulldozed this into some nonsense we have absolutely turned it into a physical only sham of what God designed it to be we we are we have held up as a standard airbrushed supermodels that don't even look like that like they've had so much photoshopping and airbrushing they don't even look like the standard that they're propagating we're holding up a unicorn culturally and saying that this is what beauty is and peter's saying no no don't let your adorning only be that there's something in femininity that is for beautifying beautifying the world beautifying yourself making things beautiful but don't let it be can you go back to first peter don't let it be external only let it be the hidden person of the heart let it be depth of soul that leads to beauty honestly as these first two things come together there can be an imperishable beauty that doesn't age that continues forever doesn't grow old doesn't need to have doctors step in later and fix things that there's a genuine depth of personhood that makes beauty that makes uh females a delight womanhood a delight to be gazed at there's some of you ladies realize this early and it starts early it's really interesting I was talking with josh pabone yesterday he's got four children he has two boys
And two girls his boys say this hey dad look at this hey dad look at this and they're like look at this and they're like hit their brother with a stick like look at this kick I can do look at this thing I set on fire look at this lizard I caught look look at me do this but it's always this look at this and his daughters he's got two daughters and they say dad look at me look at me look at me if they're even if they're doing an activity the thing is look at me do this activity the goal isn't to look at the activity is to look at me they'll get dressed up aren't I beautiful look at me they have this desire to be delighted in for themselves it's it's innate it's woven in and we have distorted it twisted it and marred it and traded it in for some nonsense we we sold out genuine soul-stirring depth of personhood we sold out genuine beauty for a cheap marred hollow expression of it we sold out soul level delight for a momentary lust heart stopping resonance for a heart racing momentary nonsense it's like we traded in a carnival roller coaster for a lifelong adventure it's not worth the exchange that you were designed to be beautiful to be captivating to be gazed upon to be delighted in but not just not a not just a physical thing but actually to have depth of personhood that is welcomed and loved and delighted in and and honestly out of this uh grows this desire so when he's talking about let your your world not only be external it grows this desire to build a veneer to to paint everything up as if it is perfect to paint up your whole life as if you have everything together and honestly perfection when it comes to a pursuit of perfection that's kind of just a a feminine thing ladies pursue perfection in a way that men do not that was there's a there's an article in the land at the atlantic recently that was talking about this it's talking about closing the confidence gap was the name of the article and they're basically writing saying that overqualified women still don't apply for jobs that they're overqualified for because they're not sure if they're quite qualified enough and that underqualified men apply in mass like have empirically the data shows this would be terrible you're going to break this in half and sink it and they're like I deserve a shot let me have at it I think I could do a good
Job like and it just it's it's baffling they said that um that women don't uh turn in reports until they've edited them ad nauseum that they've they just feel this weight of perfection that men just it just doesn't show up on their radar there was a they did a study at cornell in a in an engineering course where uh it was kind of a course where people would flunk out in the course is one of those courses that just you got kind of to the middle and it just created space in the school and they were doing a study on the the males in the class and the females in the class and whenever it got hard almost a hundred percent of the males uh reacted externally and this class is hard this professor's tough these tests just got ridiculous and almost a hundred percent of the females reacted internally I knew I wasn't smart enough to handle this I knew I wasn't I knew I knew I couldn't cut it there's this weight of perfection this weight of trying to build this everything's all right around me it seems to to specifically land on on feminine shoulders that's why uh barbie dolls we just now we have female shaped barbie dolls now so like we should celebrate like they're actually they've just come out with these uh but they made barbie dolls and there was this this is a standard of beauty that no one can live up to this is there's no way we can ever exist here there's no way this is crushing and then you can take like a he-man action figure and take the like most slouchy overweight guy and he'll be like I can kind of see me in that it's a little bit like me right here because there's just there's that weight it's just sitting there and there's this this push to be the the perfect mom the perfect daughter the the perfect employer the imperfect employee the perfect everything and and can I just help you out it's not going to happen it doesn't exist you're not you're not going to be perfect you're not you're not going to have it all together the ladies in in the u.s are three times more likely to attempt to commit suicide
91 Percent of women in the u.s say they're dissatisfied with their bodies uh... and and women are 10 to 19 times more likely to suffer from an eating disorder they did they did a study on uh... college students and they found that over half of the the females that were in whatever the the uh... correct weight range for their uh... body type or whatever were on diets even though they didn't really need to be adjusted like that for health reasons that need to be adjusting their diets like it was it's just crazy the amount of pressure and weight that gets put on and um... there's a there's a director over at midtown she's she helps head up their kid city area and she said that one of the things she feels this weight of um... proving that she's lovely so that she'll know that she's lovable she says she's felt that her whole life that if she could just prove that she's lovely then she'd know that she was lovable and the reason we're talking about this is that there is something in the design of femininity to be enjoyed to be captivating
But it's not it's not to be found in just a physical expression or just building these veneers around you to prove that you're okay let's go to Ephesians 5 this is a section that paul ends by saying that the true meaning of marriage is the way Jesus loves the church that the whole point behind marriage that we have now is to actually show us how Jesus loves the church and so he says this husbands love your wives just as christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her so that he might sanctify her this is the church this is his bride this is his people this is all those who place faith in Jesus he might sanctify her which means set apart having cleansed her by washing of the water with the word that he might present to himself the church in all her glory
Having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that she would be holy and blameless ladies you were designed for perfection you were designed to fully live out what it meant to have your strength benefit others you were designed to fully be so comfortable and free in yourself that everyone was welcome around you everyone was free to be themselves around you and you were designed to be captivating to be loved to be delighted in and sin has wrecked that ever since eve in the garden first believed the lie that God was holding out on her that he had hidden from her what it meant to truly be made in his image ladies have believed that ever since
And Jesus stepped in in the midst of our brokenness in the midst of our sin and he went to the cross on our behalf and he has made you blameless and perfect and holy and spotless without wrinkle or blemish or any such thing it says that Jesus loved the church gave himself up for her that he might sanctify her having cleansed her by the washing of the water with the word that he might present to himself the church in all her glory having no spot
Or wrinkle or any such thing but that she would be holy and blameless he actually saved the church just to present her to himself just to delight in the church in his bride that he's rescued and redeemed and only through resting in Jesus only through finding this to be true so deep and so soul level will you ever be free to know that your strength is on loan like Jesus's strength was on loan where Jesus stepped in and used his strength on behalf of others you get to step in
And realize that you've been gifted and equipped and strengthened for the benefit of those around you and you'll get to see that because Jesus has welcomed you into his home and made you into his family that you get to welcome everybody into your home make them into your family that you get to make home and family everywhere that you are for every person you're around and that you were designed to be delighted in and that through Jesus you are
You're perfectly spotless and blameless and free to be delighted in and welcomed and loved and ladies you're not perfect you're broken you're weak you're busted and that's okay because Jesus didn't leave you there he didn't leave you on your own to fix it on your own to make it all painted up and pretty and look good so that you could display it to the world but he actually stepped in and fixed
Every wrinkle spot and blemish on his own washed you through his own blood and made you his that he might delight in you you already have perfection you already have freedom you already have love and delight and joy through Jesus and only as you step into christ and only as you trust in the cross and only as you know that this is already true for you can you actually begin to be all that femininity
Was designed to be the band's gonna come back up we're gonna sing and praise Jesus and we're gonna together as a church family seek to step into masculinity and step into femininity in a way that doesn't have anything to do with stereotypes doesn't have anything to do with role doesn't have anything to do with personality types but has everything
To do with our desire to image God to the world to encourage one another to see flourishing happen and to begin to use everything we've been equipped with and gift with for the good of others for God's glory for our joy as we get to follow after him and if you haven't trusted fully in what the cross has provided for you you haven't fully seen
Jesus hanging on the cross to rescue to redeem to fix you to take away every spot and blemish and wrinkle every bit of imperfection that he might delight in you he might lift you up and it says the church in all her glory that Jesus makes the church beautiful and then delights in her
I'd encourage you to trust in Jesus today for your satisfaction your joy and ultimately your freedom God we praise you we ask Lord that you would bless the ladies in our church family that they would in the roles they're given in the time they have with their roommates in the time they have with their
Spouses with their children with their employees with their employers to give them the opportunity to use their strength to sacrifice on behalf of others to welcome everyone to make freedom and joy exist where they are and God I pray that you would
Help them to see that beauty is far beyond surface level things and that you through the cross delight in them you have cleaned them perfected them to present to yourself and all their glory is you have saved them through the cross I pray God that we would continue to grow in what it means to be men
And to be women as we follow after you in Jesus name amen
